I think I infected my girlfriend...

Hey, it's me again. So I got a message

from my girlfriend today. She said that

she wasn't feeling too well. She said that

she was feeling very warm and she was

coughing and she felt like she had a

fever. She felt like her temperature was

higher than normal and she said she was

feeling kind of dizzy. And I said, oh no,

what's wrong? What's wrong with you? And

she said, She feels like she has some kind

of fever. I don't know what this fever is.

Um, I actually felt a bit strange as well

when I left her house. When I came back to

the guest house after spending the weekend

with her, I was feeling a bit fuzzy. I

don't know how to describe it. I felt like

I was very warm and I was also coughing a

bit. I feel perfectly okay now, so maybe

my immune system's stronger than hers.

But it seems like she had worse symptoms.

She said that she was coughing a lot and

she felt cold, but at the same time her

body felt hot to the touch. On Monday

morning when we woke up together, um,

she was— she started coughing a lot. She

was having like a coughing fit, and I

didn't think that this was a big deal

because she has asthma. And after she took

a few puffs of her inhaler She was okay,

so I thought that the coughing was just

because of her asthma, but maybe it's

because of this fever thing. I don't know,

but I was a bit worried that I gave it to

her because I was feeling a bit strange

after the Halloween party before I went to

her place. Maybe I picked something up at

the party and then I passed it on to her.

I said to her that I was also feeling a

bit strange and I might have passed

something on to you. And I said, I'm sorry

if, if it was me that infected you with

this fever or flu. I don't know, maybe

it's just like a very severe cold. She

said, that's okay, don't worry about it.

And then the next day I asked her if she's

feeling okay, and she said she felt fine.

She felt like she was getting better, and

I feel perfectly fine as well. So maybe it

was just like a bit of a cold. I don't

think it was flu or influenza, otherwise I

think we would know if we had the flu.

Anyway, she seems fine, so that's great.

I'm going to see her on Sunday night. She

said that she'll have Monday off all day,

so I said, can I see you? Can I come over

on Sunday evening and then spend the

night? And she said she'll be drinking

with a friend. On Sunday evening, so can I

come and see her then? And I was a bit

confused. I was— I wasn't sure if she

meant, did you want me to come and see you

after you finish drinking with your

friend, or do you want me to come and

drink with your friend? That's the problem

with Japanese sometimes. It can be a very

vague language. In English, we use the

words like I or you or we all the time,

but in Japanese, they, they don't use I,

we, and you a lot of the time, and you

just kind of have to guess what they're

talking about or who they're talking about

based on context. So I got a bit nervous.

I was wondering if she wanted to introduce

me to her friends, and I don't have any

problems with that. It's just that it

feels like it's getting a bit serious when

your girlfriend starts introducing you to

her friends. So I asked her, do you want

me to meet you after you finish drinking,

or do you want to go drinking with me with

your friend? And she said that she'll be

drinking until 11 PM, and that's when she

wants me to come and meet her so I don't

have to see her friend. And I felt a

little bit hurt by that and relieved at

the same time because I thought she wanted

to introduce me to her friend, but

apparently not. Usually when I talk to

my girlfriend using messages, we aren't

very sexual. I try and be loving and cute,

and I, I say things like, I miss you, but

I'm not very pervy or sexual when I

message her. Until today, we had a very

sexualized conversation, which was kind of

fun. It was a new thing for us to do,

which is weird because we've had sex a lot

of times now, but we don't really talk

about sex when we're messaging each other.

She just asked me out of the blue How many

times can I have sex in a day? And I said,

I'm not sure. I'm pretty sure I can have

sex all day. Um, I just

need like breaks in between to recharge,

to refill my tanks, if you know what

I mean. So I said, I'm not sure. I've

never really tried having sex all day

long. And I said, do you want to give it a

try? Should we experiment and see how many

times we can do it in a day? And she said,

okay. And she said that she really enjoys

having sex with me and she likes my body.

And she said she's gonna go on the pill

after her next period so I can finish

inside of her how many times— as many

times as I want to. And I said, great,

I'm gonna fill you up until— no, I can't

remember what I said. Maybe I shouldn't

say that. I'm going into too much detail

now. She also said that she really enjoyed

sleeping naked with me. And I make her

feel like she's a teenager again. She said

that it reminds her of her teenage days or

when she was in her 20s and she would just

spend all day in her apartment with her

boyfriend having sex all day. And I said,

really? Do you, do you enjoy that? And she

said yes. I was kind of surprised by her

answer. I didn't— I wasn't expecting that

she was this much of a sexual person,

this much of a pervy person, I was kind of

trying to hold back on my own perviness,

my own sexualness.

I don't know what the word is. She said

that she got a new job teaching English to

kids, and she said that one of her dreams

in the future is to open up her own

language school, her own English school.

And then I said, that sounds nice. If you

do, can you hire me as a teacher? And she

said, sure, that would be great. And I

said, yeah, that would be great because

then I get to have sex with the boss. And

she said she would like that, and she said

we could do it in the classroom. And I was

kind of surprised that she said that. I

didn't realize that she was such a pervy

person. Don't get me wrong, I was very— I

was very pleasantly surprised. I was very

happy to find out that she was this sexual

because Because I was a little bit worried

that she might not have a very strong sex

drive and she was just having sex with me

to please me. And I was worried that she

wasn't that interested in having a lot of

sex, but seems like I was wrong. I feel a

bit nervous right now because there's a

police car. It's kind of patrolling around

the blocks, around the apartment blocks,

around the streets, and I feel like it's

following me. It went that way, So I made

a 180-degree turn and I came back this

way, and then I just saw it drive past on

my right, and I think it's behind me now.

I guess I shouldn't really be this

surprised that she has this much of a sex

drive because she did say that one of the

reasons why she got divorced from her

ex-husband was because he couldn't make it

stand and he wasn't really interested in

having sex nearly all of the time.

And maybe it makes her feel happy because

I want to have sex with her all the time.

It makes her feel like she's desired. It

makes her feel like a woman. I think that

if she also has a fairly strong sex drive

to match mine, then I can be— I can be

quite happy with her. She was telling me

that she has a thing for young guys. She

said even her ex-husband was around the

same age as me, 28 or 27. And she said

that she prefers young guys, and I said to

her that I also have like a thing for

older women, kind of like a fetish. So

that's kind of good, isn't it? She has a

fetish for young guys, I have a fetish for

older women. We both have fairly strong

sex drives.

I think, I think she's a good one. For

some reason, I was kind of scared to talk

dirty to her, to talk about sexual things

with her. I was scared that she would

think that I'm— that I just wanted to have

sex with her, that I wasn't interested in

her for anything else, or that I was like

a playboy. So I was trying to suppress it.

I was trying to hide my perviness. But I

think from now on, I want to be more— I

want to talk to her in a more like

sexualized way and say dirty things.

One of the main reasons why I decided to

break up with my Korean girlfriend was

because It was very boring. She was never

very pervy or sexual with me. We never

talked dirty. She never wanted to have sex

with me. It was always me that was kind of

like begging her to have sex with me.

I didn't feel desired or that she wanted

me in like a physical or sexual way. I

felt like our sex life had died in the

relationship and we were just living

together like brother and sister. We would

have sex maybe 2 times a month, and I was

getting so sexually frustrated with this.

Why are there so many bloody people around

tonight? I feel like I'm playing Pac-Man.

I'm walking up and down these streets,

and every time I see someone, I go in the

opposite direction. And I'm just trying to

avoid people, but it's so difficult. It's

nearly 1 AM now, and there's so many

people out tonight. It's weird. Oh, and I

finally paid the rent today. I was looking

for the manager for such a long time, and

when I came out tonight, he was sitting

He was sitting there outside of the door,

and I nearly walked straight past him,

and then I looked at him in the face and

he looked at And I said, "Oh, can I pay

rent now?" And he said he seemed kind of

angry. He was like, "Dozo, dozo," which

means like, "Okay, okay." He wasn't

smiling. He looked kind of pissed off. So

I quickly went back to my room, got my

money, came back down, gave him the money.

He counted it, and he said, "Thanks." And

then I said, "Sorry, sorry it took me so

long." It was so awkward. For some reason,

the manager here—he really intimidates me.

I find him a bit scary. I thought he was

going to scold me or tell me off.

I was actually supposed to pay the rent

around 12 days ago, so I was a bit

surprised he didn't tell me off. I thought

he would say something like, next time,

can you pay the rent on time? Or, next

time, don't be so late paying rent. But he

didn't say anything. He just said thanks.

In like a— he seemed like he was

disappointed, like I let him down.

That's the frustrating thing about

Japanese people sometimes. They don't tell

you what they're actually thinking. They,

they hold it all in, they bottle it in

until they can't hold it in anymore, and

then it just kind of explodes out. And

it's hard to— it's hard to know what

they're actually thinking.