Why I hate Dating

Hello and welcome back to a new video. So

today I want to talk about dating and why

I don't really like dating. I don't enjoy

dating, and the only reason why I do

dating at all is because I want some

cheesecake. And as a 32-year-old man,

I've had quite a lot of dates in my

lifetime. I had my first ever date in 2010

with a Japanese girl that I met on

japancupid.com. I flew to Osaka, I met her

at the airport, and we went on some dates.

We did dating for maybe 4 weeks until she

ghosted me, and then I never saw or heard

from her ever again. And out of all of

these dates I've had, I've probably had

nearly 100 dates. I don't know, I haven't

counted them individually, but over the

course of 11 or 10 years, I've had quite a

lot of dates, and I can honestly say 95%

of them were really, really boring.

Even though some of them resulted in

cheesecake, most of them are really

boring. I didn't enjoy the actual dates,

and the only date I ever really had a good

time was when I met Mira and we went to a

trampoline park and the restaurant and

karaoke. That just really felt like the

perfect date, and that, that represents

what would be the perfect dates for me.

But in most cases, most of the dates I

went on, they were nothing like that. It

was just really boring, really awkward. I

didn't have any interest in the girl I was

meeting. It was really boring to talk to

her, and it was just a really horrible

time. You see, the problem with dating is,

well, for me personally, I only enjoy the

date if I'm attracted to the girl. And 9

times out of 10, I'm not usually attracted

to the girl. It's really difficult to tell

if you're gonna feel attracted to the

girl, even if you've seen videos and even

if you've seen photos. People always look

different in real life. Usually they look

worse. Very rarely they look better in

real life than they do in photos and

videos. But in my personal experiences,

most of the time people People look worse

in their photos and videos. And I can

instantly tell if I feel attracted to

someone straight away, just in the first 5

seconds, just by looking at them. I can

usually tell and decide if I'm attracted

to them or not. And if in the first 5 or

10 seconds I don't feel any attraction,

then I can just tell. I just know that the

date is gonna be boring and I just feel

dread because I can't just say, oh sorry,

I've actually got some kind of

appointment, I have to go home now. I

don't have the guts or the courage to say

that, and I feel— I would feel guilty if I

just met her and then in the first minute

I made up some kind of excuse to leave.

And what happens is I meet these girls on

dates, and then I feel like I'm stuck with

them all day, or for at least 5 or 6

hours, because I feel very— I find it very

difficult to end the date. I usually let

the date drag out until it's late, or the

girl says something like, oh, she has to

go, or she has some kind of appointment.

I'm usually not the person who ends the

dates. There's only been one time when I

actually ditched the girl on the date,

and that's just because I felt so

unattracted to her. And I put my moves on

her. I took her to karaoke. I put my arm

around her and asked if she wanted to go

to a hotel. She said no. And it was just a

really boring date. And I couldn't stand

waiting it out for another who knows how

many hours. So I pretended to go to the

toilet and I just snuck out. Of the

karaoke building, and I didn't even say

anything to her, then I blocked her. But

the thing is, even if I'm attracted to the

girl, usually I don't even enjoy the dates

then. The other dates I really enjoyed

apart from the Mila date was this date I

went on with this Korean girl in Korea,

and she was really attractive and I felt

really attracted to her. Nothing happened

between us, but the date we went on was

quite good. We went to— what did we do?

Well, at first it was a bit boring. We

went to some kind of art museum, and then

afterwards we went to like a VR gaming

center, and then we went to this barbecue

lamb restaurant, and then we went to

karaoke. So I like dates where, first of

all, there's some kind of activity to

break the ice, you know, some kind of

physical activity where you're doing

something together and you're new to the

activity and it's, it's interesting, you

know, it's interesting to talk about. And

then afterwards you go to a cool

restaurant where they have good food,

where you can relax and maybe talk a bit

more, and then maybe another fun activity

like karaoke. We also went to Uh, that

shisha place afterwards. That was quite

nice. But 9 times out of 10, usually the

dates are really boring. So usually what

happens was that we would meet up and then

I had no idea what to do because I didn't

plan or research anything, which I guess

that's kind of my fault. If you want to

fund dates, then I guess you should plan

and research stuff and suggest things to

do. For some reason, I never took the

initiative to say or suggest, hey, let's—

why don't we do this? Why don't we do

that? Why don't we go rock climbing? Why

don't we go to this adventure place? I

don't know. And what happens is there's no

plan. We meet up, it's really awkward,

and we just end up walking around

aimlessly for about an hour around like

shopping areas or restaurant areas. And

then we're trying to find where to eat.

And then most of the date takes place in

the restaurant, which is really

uncomfortable for me. I find it really

difficult to be in a restaurant where

you're sitting opposite each other and you

don't really have anything to do. One of

the biggest things I'm afraid of when I go

on a date is when you're stuck in a

restaurant and you don't really have much

to fiddle with and you're waiting for your

food to come. Once the food comes, then

you've kind of got something to do and you

can talk about the food. But that awkward

silence and that awkward period of time

between choosing the food and looking at

the menu and waiting for the food to

arrive is really uncomfortable. It's very

difficult just making conversation when

you're sat at a table and there's not

really things around you that you could

comment on. There's not really any kind of

activity. You're just sitting at a table

and you've got to think of topics. And

usually most of the dates I went on, if I

didn't think of a topic or if I didn't ask

questions, then the girl wouldn't really

say much. She would just be sitting there

waiting for me to start a conversation.

And I'm really, really bad at making

conversations. Usually I just ask really

basic questions like,

so what do you do for a living?

Where do you live? Do you live alone?

What are your hobbies? What countries have

you traveled to? Did you like them? It's

just really boring conversation topics and

I have no idea what to talk about. I don't

feel comfortable talking about what I'm

into, like Rainbow Six or YouTube or

streaming or the YouTubers I watch,

because come on, they're not going to have

any idea or any interest about those

things. I've actually had dates when we

were just sitting at the table waiting for

the food to come and we weren't even

talking. I had no idea what to say. She

wasn't saying anything either. And we

literally just sat there in complete

silence. And then when the food came, we

said a few things about each other's food,

like, oh, that looks nice. Oh, I like that

too. Oh, I wonder how they made this. And

then we just start eating in silence

again. It was so uncomfortable. I couldn't

wait to get out of the restaurant.

Restaurants kind of give me anxiety now

just from all of these awkward date

experiences I've had in the past. And the

worst thing is, after you've waited hours

and hours and hours through all of this

boredom and boring conversation, walking

around doing nothing, the worst thing is

after all that and you don't even get

cheesecake, and then you just feel like,

what was the point of all of that? That

was just a massive waste of time. Wasted

my money on the restaurant, wasted my

money on the cinema. I could have just

used the money and gotten myself— gotten

myself a seagull, and then I would have

gotten cheesecake. So maybe it's not that

I don't enjoy dating. Maybe it's just I

don't enjoy the company of a girl that I

don't feel attracted to and I don't have

anything in common with. And that just

makes everything else just seem kind of

boring. I'd rather just go home and be by

myself and play Rainbow Six, do some

streams. Than being stuck on a date with

someone I have no interest in. But

unfortunately, if you want a girlfriend,

you kind of have to do the dating process

in the beginning unless she's willing to

just hop straight into bed, which most

girls are not willing to. And if they are

willing to, then maybe that's a bit of a

red flag. But most, most of the time

you're gonna have to just force yourself

to go on a few dates before the whole

girlfriend relationship can begin. My

favorite thing to do would be to just go

straight to the hotel if we're attracted

to each other, and then, you know, get all

of the physical stuff out of the way so

you feel comfortable with each other. And

once, you know, the pressure of trying to

get cheesecake is out of the way because

you've just had it, and then you can start

thinking about things to do together

outside, like going, going on dates or

traveling somewhere, going on a trip.

Then I feel like I can enjoy the actual

dating process. But doing the dating

process stuff before becoming boyfriend

and girlfriend, it's a bit of a chore for

me. I don't really look forward to doing

it. I don't really want to do it. I'd

rather just see if we're compatible

physically. Maybe if you're like really

logical, cold-hearted people, you could

discuss this with each other and come up

with like a rule saying if in the first 5

or 10 minutes we don't feel attracted to

each other, we should say that we don't

feel attracted to each other, and then

instead of wasting each other's time, we

can just go home without any feelings

hurt. That would be a more logical and

efficient way of doing it, but I don't

really have the guts to suggest that

because it sounds a bit rude.