Self therapy session-1003326628

account.

Hello, my Wi-Fi is back.

My Wi-Fi is back. My Wi-Fi is back.

My Wi-Fi's back.

Wow, I never had such a stressful stream.

Why is the internet so bad today? I just reset it and, um, seems to be working now.

That's

nice.

Press 1 if you can hear me. I'm not sure if you can hear me.

Okay, yeah, it's back.

Ah, I feel a bit better. Sorry, I was just really

irritated today. I feel like I'm just irritated every day now.

It just feels like there's not much to be happy about.

And recently I'm really finding it difficult to fall asleep. I keep just lying in bed staring at the ceiling, worrying about everything.

Can't get to sleep until about 5 AM usually, then I wake up at 2 PM.

Just like everything— nothing's doing well.

There's hardly any good news.

I guess my new video is doing well. That's good.

2 out of 10.

It's a bit encouraging.

I have to masturbate 2 times before I can fall asleep. I jerk off about— I jerk off straight away when I get into bed, and then I watch some YouTube stuff for a few hours, and then I just—

I can't fall asleep. And then a few hours pass, and then I'm horny again. And then I jerk off a second time, and then I can fall asleep.

And then all I do is I just play Rainbow Six all day, go out into the garden for about an hour, play football.

Oh, thank you, Anonymous. Very generous.

I don't know what to do with my life anymore.

If I listen to music, it just makes me feel even worse.

So usually I just watch Andy streaming walking around New York.

Looks like nothing to look forward to.

There's no girls I'm excited about. There's no prospects of traveling soon.

I, I don't even feel excited about the girls I've matched on Tinder.

It's like a chore to have to chat to them.

And the stocks barely do anything.

I was so excited to come back home in January from Rotterdam. I hated living there. I felt all excited about being able to save money and then I could buy all this cool stuff, and I ended up not buying anything because I realized it's a waste of money.

I was happy to leave Rotterdam because I thought, yes, I don't have to spend $2,000 every month living here. Now I can buy stuff again. I guess it's good I didn't buy anything.

I don't really want to buy anything. There's nothing that I really want to get. I don't need a phone, don't need a camera. Computer's fine.

I wish there was something to look forward to.

Don't you look forward to going to Japan? Yeah, but that's gonna be ages. I might not even be able to go this year.

People saying it won't even be open until next year.

I think I'm gonna go

Just don't really feel great.

Can't even get viewers because it keeps lagging and disconnecting.

Uh, maybe I'll stream tomorrow. Do a fake job stream.

New job celebration. Try not to laugh. Try not to laugh challenge.

Fake job celebration stream. Maybe I just won't show my face. I'll do it like my birthday stream. I'll put it on the tripod so you can't see my face.

Oh, thank you. Find something new to obsess over like you did with the stock market. Yeah, I need a new obsession. You will eventually. It was so great when I was obsessed with the stock market. I didn't even care about my channel anymore. But why would you care about your YouTube channel anymore when you're making like $2,000

in a week on stocks? I was so obsessed with it.

But now I haven't made any money on the stock market in 2 months. I'm not sure what to obsess over next.

It's doing a bit better, so I'm only down about £6,000 now. Before, I was down about £8,000 last week. Last week was bad. This week's a lot better. But the thing is, it gets better and then it gets bad again. So it hasn't made any progress.

It'll recover a little bit and then the next week it'll just crash again and it'll take another week or two to recover again. It's just like crash, recover, crash, recover, crash, recover. It's not going anywhere.

It's kind of like the whole world right now. So nothing's happening, everything's frozen, there's no progress.

Everything's just stagnated.

Yeah, I know you don't lose until you sell.

I haven't sold, I've still got it, it's just down.

The annoying thing is, you know, Microvision— Microvision was one of the stocks I panic sold when everything crashed. Now Microvision is up like 150%. It's nearly at $30. I sold it at $14. I bought it at $18, sold it at $14, and now it's gone back up to $28, nearly $30. If I just didn't sell, I would

actually be up. I wouldn't be down so much.

If I had just done nothing instead of trying to minimize my losses, I wouldn't actually have lost anything. It would have been scary though because Microvision went all the way down to $10, but then it just shot straight up to $28. I can't believe it.

But I sold all my Microvision, I put it into Bitcoin stuff, and now Bitcoin is not doing

Amazingly, it's like nothing is doing well. The YouTube front is not doing well, the stock front not doing well, the gold front nothing.

Bitcoin's at $55K. Yeah, but I got my Bitcoin stuff when Bitcoin was at like $58K and Bitcoin just dropped down to $48K. I need Bitcoin over $60K.

I need it over $70K really.

Did everything wrong. I bought when things went up and I sold when they went down.

Right now I'm just trying not to do anything, just waiting for it to go back up again. Otherwise I'm just gonna lose more and more.

I just need some good news soon, or else I'm gonna die.

Something, anything.

Come on, Bitcoin,

just get back to 60K.

I'm still down £6,000.

I need either BNGO or Bitcoin to go up by about 40% before I can make my money back. I need it to go up like 30 or 40% so I can recover my losses.

If you had to pick one of the major social media sites like YTIG, Twitch, FB, etc. to turn into a girl and have cereal with, which one would you pick?

What if they were girls? YouTube would be a redhead, wouldn't she? And then Twitch would have purple hair, be like a purple-haired freak.

I think Twitch— I can imagine Facebook girl would be like a MILF or Granny Karen. Instagram would probably be like an underage girl. Twitch would probably be like a hot mentally ill dyed hair elf girl doing streaming. I think Twitch would be the hottest.

How do I dispose my jizz? I have tissue paper.

Good evening, milady.

Good evening.

The problem with the fake stuff is if girls like me Because they think—

wait.

Go delete some of these stupid videos.

I've got like a million stream VODs now because I disconnected so many times.

Self-therapy. Delete, delete, delete.

Yes.

Might change my Twitch settings.

I don't know if I should change it. I might change it so it's sub only.

Stop these stupid idiots reporting my videos, my streams.

Yeah, might as well. It's not like I'm gonna blow up on Twitch.

Where is it? How do I do it? Subscriber-only mode. Only subs can make clips. Yes. And then Only subs can see.

Subscriber-only archive.

Yeah, that should keep things locked down.

Yeah, stupid retards on subreddit reporting me now because the N-word was on a donation. They don't even understand how Twitch works. I only got the ban last time because I didn't moderate it. It was pretty obvious and clear that I moderated it and I got rid of the n-word when it was being announced.

They think they're so bloody clever, don't they? They know fuck all about the rules. Oh, report Daniel with the n-word. Yeah, and I clearly moderated it and stopped it from saying it. It's not the same as last time.

What was I saying? Yeah, the problem with the fake stuff is if there's girls messaging me now who like me because they think all my content is real, and then they ask me if I actually have a job and I say no, that's fake, what if they don't like me anymore?

That's a bit of a risk.

Oh, maybe I don't want to be with them anyway. If they think— if they like me because they think it's all real or whatever, they're probably just another meaner.

I need someone who knows it's not all real and it's kind of fake and they find it funny and then they're in on the joke with me.

Late night and beer chat.

What if I date another YouTuber?

I don't know, I feel like most YouTubers don't want to do what I want to do. Fake content will kill channel long term. I feel like fake content is the only thing that stops it from dying. And without all the fake marriage drama stuff, it would have died a long time ago.

It would have died in 2018 if I never did the fake stuff.

I think your ideal person's not realistic unless she's a bit of a weirdo. Yeah, I need like a girl who, who's a bit of a freak

and she doesn't mind what I do

because I don't really want to change. I tried changing for Mila and I was just miserable.

At least Mila let me do OnlyFans. Some girls I chatted to, they even asked me if I would stop doing OnlyFans if we were together. I don't know, I still get a lot of money on OnlyFans. It really helps.

Am I really going on a trip? Eventually, I hope so.

Oh, stupid losers. Stop trying to report me all the time. Can they get a life? Let's report Daniel. Daniel did this. Daniel said naughty word.

Grow the fuck up, please. For the love of God, when are you gonna grow up? Trying to report people all the time.

How do I know people reporting you? Because they're saying it on the stupid subreddit,

saying they're reporting me for the N-word again.

They're so desperate to try and get me banned, it's just pathetic.

No, I'm not looking at it. It's just someone messaged me a screenshot. I don't usually look at it.

I don't understand why people watch you to hate you. Yeah, it's weird, but not only do they hate me, they're, they're also desperate to try and get me banned.

It's just like

stupid cyber ops, isn't it? Because they can't use violence, they go— they try and— they try and take away my sources of income. So there's 2 ways to destroy a person. You either use violence and physically destroy them, or you take away their sources of income. By attacking their businesses. It's just a really shitty thing to do.

Can you imagine if, if their parents had like a business or a shop? How would they feel if like some freaks on the internet started trying to get their parents' business or shop shut down?

It's just a sick thing to think of. To even want to do, to try and get someone's source of income taken away from them just because they're jealous or something.

How petty and spiteful must you be to want someone to lose their sources of income?

I can't imagine anyone I hate so much that I wish they lost their job or I wish their business failed.

Do you, do you have someone that you really hate so much that you're like praying that they lose their sources of income? That's just sick.

They've obviously never built anything for themselves, otherwise they wouldn't even think of doing it to someone else.

Has anyone here built their own business or like set up some kind of shop or store?

You know how hard and difficult it is. You wouldn't do it. You wouldn't try and get someone else's online business shut down, would you? Such a dick thing to do.

That's what people do.

You know, now we're not living in caveman times. You can't just club your rival or the person you dislike over the head with an iron bar because we have laws and stuff now.

Now we live in the digital age, that's how people attack people now, by smearing their name,

going for the paycheck. It's disgusting. It just shows you The human species are just sick. You think, oh, we're all humans. I'm human, you're human. Let's help each other to prosper. No, people do stuff like trying to screw over other people

and they don't even gain or benefit from it. It's like the people on subreddits reporting me. How exactly do they gain? How do their lives improve by making me lose a source of income? It doesn't even help them in any way, but they're still motivated and driven to do it.

It just shows you human Humans, just disgusting species.

They would rather destroy and piss on other people instead of trying to help people.

It's a sad world we live in.

I have little hope for people. That's why I just don't like people. Now, if there were no laws and there were no police, do you think people would just behave and be good people? No, there'd be murder and rape and pillage.

Pillaging. People's houses would be burning down. There'd be violent criminals everywhere like there used to be. The fact that we need laws and police to have a civilized society just shows that

humans are not intrinsically good.

As if you wouldn't take pleasure in destroying someone you hate yourself.

It depends how much I hate them,

but I only hate people if they've done something directly to me.

I haven't done anything to these weirdos on the internet who hate me. How have I affected them? I don't even know who they are.

So I can understand Chihiro hating me because I cheated. I can understand Mida hating me because I said bad things about her. But these random strangers on the internet seem to hate me so much even though I have done nothing to them personally.

So I don't even know what they look like. I don't even know their names.

It's just weird how you can hate someone so much you want to take away their source of income when they haven't even done anything to you.

Who the fuck does that?

It's just mentally ill people on the internet, got nothing else to do.

Stupid kids, trolls, edgelords, mentally ill idiots, losers. Wasting their lives hating on some random guy who streams on Twitch and YouTube. A waste of sperm.

I just really wonder who these people are.

They must be kids. There's no way that— if they're adults, that's just embarrassing.

Imagine you're 20+ and you're doing that kind of stuff.

If they're kids, then I don't know, maybe

it's not that unbelievable. You know, kids are stupid, they do dumb stuff, they don't have maturity.

But I have a feeling these people are not kids.

That's what makes it even more pathetic.

It's like, for example, you know how much I hate the Hong Kong guy. Yeah, I hate the Hong Kong guy a lot, but I'm not sitting there watching all of his content and trying to report him to YouTube every day and making a dedicated subreddit, Why I Hate Hong Kong Guy. Hong Kong Guy, January 12th, he picked

his nose and scratched his bum. Haha, what a loser. Hong Kong Guy. So sad.

Mental illness also. Yeah, whatever.

Imagine me sitting there watching Hong Kong Guy's live streams and all his videos just so I could clip like a 5-second moment of him picking his nose so I could put it on subreddit. And then I've got all these threads of the Hong Kong Guy picking his nose or scratching his bumhole.

How stupid would that be?

Yeah, this idiot keeps sending donations. He puts a paragraph or sentence and then he sneaks in the N-word in the middle of the sentence, thinking he's clever.

You're a fucking loser. Get a life.

Spend your money on therapy.

Well, that's the problem when you're on the internet. There's mentally ill people of all ages all over the world, and then

when you're on the internet, you might attract at least a couple.

I just wonder if they, they realize that by doing all this stuff, it makes them even more sad and pathetic than me. There's no way they must think they're better than me when they do stuff like that.

Imagine being a worse person than me and then having the nerve to complain about how bad of a person I am. And then you do stuff even worse than the stuff I do. It's just so dumb. If you actually think you're a better person than me, then prove it.

All the stuff they do, I don't do any of that. I don't dox people. I don't go onto people's streams spamming the N-word trying to get them banned. I don't waste my money spamming the N-word in donations. I don't start talking about how ugly so-and-so's girlfriend is.

Of all the loser things you can do,

It's all on my subreddit and I don't do any of that stuff. And then they claim that I'm such a terrible person when they're doing stuff that is 10 times worse than any of the stuff I do.

It's just such a weird way of thinking.

So they're saying, look at Daniel, he's such a bad person, let's all do stuff that makes us all even worse than he is.

Got 50% watch time on that new video.

Wow. So my new experiment is making the video shorter.

Making— if you make the video shorter but you get more people to watch more of it, is that better than having a longer video and that has, has less people watching more of it. I don't know.

So is it better to have

everyone watching 50% of an 8-minute video or 30% of a 12-minute video?

I wonder how much of a difference it would make.

Because wouldn't that be better if people— more people watched more of the video on average, even if it means the video is shorter?

Not sure,

it's just hard to talk for 12 minutes or 15 minutes when it's not really a genuine topic and it's like a fake thing. How could I talk about the fake job for 15 minutes?

People say the live streams are bad for the algorithm because most people don't watch most of the stream. Most people just watch about 15 minutes. If most people are just watching 15 minutes out of 5 hours, that looks bad. This is like people are only watching 10% of it.

Even though it is more watch time,

it's only 10% of the total stream.

I don't know, I feel like YouTube should, should make it very clear how the algorithm works. Why is it so secretive?

I think even they don't know how it works.

The

algorithm It's like an AI, isn't it? It has machine learning. When the algorithm was first introduced, it was just terrible. It was banning videos and taking videos down for no reason, demonetizing stuff. It was really sensitive. They've made it a bit less sensitive.

But it was pretty bad after the Logan Paul thing. Everyone was whining about getting demonetized, even Anime Man.

I think they've recently changed it so

you can, you can swear again and you can still stay monetized and you can talk about adult topics. They changed it on the dashboard thing, it says here. I don't know how to get back to it now.

So maybe people will start swearing again.

I remember back when everyone just swore all the time, and then the Logan Paul thing happened, and everyone started bleeping out their swears.

I might go to bed.

Who's clipping my stream?

Maybe I'll stream tomorrow.

New job celebration. Try not to laugh. Try not to laugh challenge.

The biggest try not to laugh challenge is me when I do my fake content. People like— the writer can use thee as the first one of a short niggie, our story. Ah, stupid. N-word. Who's clipping the n-word donations? Piss off.

I better delete all the stupid clips.

I don't know if I like or dislike the clip thing. Sometimes people clip funny things,

but it seems like most of the time people just clipping things that's trying to get me into trouble.

Disable the clips.

I guess if they're willing to donate all this money to say the N-word, then they're also willing to become subs.

Enable clips? Nah, I'm just gonna disable clips. Does anyone care about the clips?

I feel like it's more of a, a risk than a positive.

I feel a bit sad I had to delete all my clips from 4 years ago. I had some clips of Chihiro.

I like the fish and chip clips when I made fish and chips, and there were some James clips, all gone now thanks to the stupid trolls. I wasn't gonna go through 500 clips to check to see if they were n-words. It's just too much.

Why do the trolls have to ruin everything? Why can't you just get fucking life? Trying to ruin it. Thanks to stupid trolls,

people like Ice Poseidon, they all died.

IRL died. You can't have any fun. Everything has to be super moderated now. Those stupid loser trolls have to ruin the whole internet, don't

they? And probably SJW culture and PC culture became a thing because of stupid trolls

ruining it for everyone. What's wrong with you?

Don't you realize you keep doing this stuff, it's just gonna ruin it for everyone?

Yeah, I had 2019 Chihiro clips as well when I was cutting her hair.

Remember the cutting the hair stream? That was funny. She looks so scared. Imagine letting me cut your hair.

I think it's kind of pointless having the streams anyway. I mean, the saved streams on Twitch. No one watches it.

I've just got these 2 random Resident Evil 2 streams from 2019 saved.

Well, tomorrow's another day. See if the YouTube stream does any better.

I think I'll just do it from my phone, no text-to-speech,

and I'll sit on the floor again like last stream, crack open my last beer for my new job celebration. It's just sad I have to fake stuff to get views now. Because I'm too boring. My life's too boring. My actual real life is too boring to be viewable.

I have to fake stuff like getting a job.

Is TKO Sam trolling? TKO Sam said, good job, good video, Daniel. Congrats on the job. Hope you still get to make videos. I think having this job will reignite your passion for videos. Did Sam fall for it or was he trolling?

Am I playing the new Resident Evil when it comes out? No, I hate Resident Evil. It's so stressful. Somehow I managed to play Resident Evil 1 on the Switch and I finished it. I got stuck a few times. Resident Evil 1 wasn't too scary. The graphics are damn good, but that's because everything's like a pre-rendered illustration. The

background's all just drawings, aren't they? Pre-rendered, and they add lighting effects on top. It just looks really good though.

I quite like the story and the atmosphere of Resident Evil 1, the whole spooky mansion. The secret lab underneath, and then you find out what happened to the staff. It's quite nice. Resident Evil 2 is just too scary. I can't play that. The police station is just— it's just wrong because you think the police station is like

the, the strongest last bastion of security and law.

And peace and order. The policemen all armed to the teeth with guns. That's like the last place you'd expect to be taken over and fallen. It's just wrong seeing a police station like that destroyed. The cops are dead.

No, it's just so unsettling.

It's like a military base. You think military base is supposed to be all strong and well-armed, impenetrable, and you see an army base and it's just all destroyed. It's just weird.

I could not play Resident Evil 2. The zombies chase you, they follow you around. At least in the originals you could enter a room, they couldn't follow you into the room. You hear the footsteps. Oh my god, I hate it. I don't know how people enjoy it. How do you enjoy Resident Evil?

It's so stress-inducing.

I'm interested in the story, so I just watched people play it. I watched other people play it. I can't play it myself.

Hopefully

tomorrow's better. Tomorrow we will do an amazing

new job celebration livestream. I'll try not to go on and on about it, try and keep it just a couple hours long.

I wonder, I'm really curious if I'll have more viewers on it because it's about— because people seem to be interested in me getting a job. Would me streaming about the job mean I'll have more livestream viewers? It'll be interesting

because there's definitely people in the comment section to that video that are not casual viewers, regular viewers, so I reckon they're only watching like the self-improvement stuff.

I'll do the stream on YouTube tomorrow.

I think these self-improvement videos tap into a different kind of audience that I have. They're like the normal people. That are subbed to me that watch that stuff. My audience is so segregated. You've got the weirdos who like the, the incel topics, like why women suck or why women hate me. And then you've got the

people who want to give me life advice. And then you've got the people who are rooting for me to get a job and stuff like that, and they probably all click on different types of videos.

That's my theory.

Who do I like the most? I like the normal people the most.

I'd rather have a normal audience than a bunch of Reddit, 4chan toxic CX Network kind of ice beside an audience.

Who doesn't want a nice audience instead of a horrible one?

I know most people are mainly interested in the channel because they want to see what happens with me, what happens with my life.

And I would love to be doing stuff that actually makes my life different,

but I just can't be bothered, you know, to learn how to drive and actually get a job and actually go back to school.

People can say, why don't you do this? Why don't you try that? And then I can come back at you and just give you all these reasons why I don't want to, or I don't have to. So I don't want to drive because I don't want to go anywhere. I don't want to learn anything because I'm not

interested. What would I learn if I was seriously gonna go back to school?

Learn graphic design.

Learn science. Become a scientist, Daniel. Why don't you become a scientist?

Scientists always have jobs.

I know it was interesting when I was in Japan because stuff was happening. I was moving to Japan. Getting a visa, getting married. It was like stuff was happening, and then it all just stopped. Because after I got married, after I moved, then I'm just back to doing this. This is exactly what I was doing after I

got married, sitting at home all day playing Rainbow Six and streaming. That's just what's always gonna happen. That's always— it's always just gonna revert back to this, what I'm doing now.

Even if I won the lottery tomorrow, I'm probably just gonna be in my bedroom playing Rainbow Six anyway.

I'll just be back to streaming.

This is like the default setting that I keep reverting back to.

I don't know what people want me to do or become.

I already tried learning coding 6 years ago.

I made a few iPad, iPhone games.

I made this kind of Space Invaders game.

I made a couple dollars, I think, probably not even $10.

Ah, but if I could make the game now and then advertise it to my YouTube audience, I bet I could get some people to buy it. Who wouldn't want to buy a game made by me for just $2 or something? I could probably get 100 people to buy it.

Maybe I should learn it again, make some extra money. I could say, hey guys, if you want to support me, please buy my video game that I made myself, original artwork. People would be so impressed, wouldn't they?

Maybe I should pay for my Apple Developer membership again and get it back up.

I bet it's full of bugs now, and I've completely forgot how to code.

If I wasn't so lazy, it would be an extra source of income.

When you were a teenager, did you think you would have a regular job? I never thought I would not be a teenager anymore. I just thought I'd be a teenager, my mum and dad would live forever, and I'd live here forever, and everything would just stay the same. I had no idea my dad would die, and then

I'd get old, and then I would need money, and then I'd become lonely and depressed. I didn't know that was gonna happen when I was a teenager. I had no idea what was gonna happen. I couldn't even imagine it. I couldn't even imagine the possibility of getting old.

Then my parents dying, it's just— it was just so unimaginable. Didn't even enter my mind. I was like a dog, you know, like a dog doesn't even know that he's gonna die eventually.

I was so self-unaware.

I thought I'd just be in my bedroom playing video games. Well, I guess I am. I did end up just staying in my bedroom playing video games 15 years later. Nothing changed,

which is sad, isn't it?

I don't know. Now I just keep thinking, one day I'll meet a girl and we'll live together and I'll play video games and she will go to work and I'll stream and we have sex afterwards. That's like my ideal dream girl now.

So basically just finding another Chihiro.

We have our own apartment. Maybe we have some pets and then I do streaming and we travel.

Yeah, I really had the perfect life in Japan. If only I just wasn't so horny and distracted by fangirls sending me nudes.

Ah, those damn fangirls. They're just so hot and sexy, but they don't care about me.

I just couldn't resist. They were so hot and sexy.

Like, this one girl sending me nudes now, she's so hot. She's slim, she's got big boobs, she calls me daddy. And I keep thinking, oh, if only I could go back to Chihiro, I wouldn't make the same mistake again. But would I? I'm getting these hot nudes even now, and I'm like, wow.

I like this, but then I'm also sad and lonely.

It's why Chihiro probably shouldn't take me back. I don't think I can change.

There's always some kind of temptation.

I don't even know if this girl now is real, but she's so hot.

She says she wants me to breed her pussy.

You didn't cheat on Mira. No, I didn't. Why didn't I cheat on Mira? I don't know.

I did think about getting a hooker. I could have easily gotten a hooker, just message them and then they knock on the door and they come in, and it would have been cheap. Netherlands is pretty cheap for hookers, like $80, isn't it? I didn't even want to do it.

Number one, I didn't want to risk losing Mila. Number two, I was pretty happy with Mila, satisfied with Mila. I didn't really feel like I wanted another woman,

and I guess I had genuine emotions and feelings for Mila that made me not interested in other women.

Are you sure you were happy with Mina? Yeah, I was, but I wasn't happy with everything else. I wasn't happy with where I was living. I wasn't happy with being restricted when it came to YouTube content. I wasn't happy living there. I wasn't happy with how she didn't want to live with me and travel.

There were life circumstances I was not happy with.

It's just like the complete opposite. Oh my god, it is. So when I was with Chihiro, I was completely happy with the life circumstances but not really happy with the person physically. But then I was happy with Mina physically and unhappy with the life circumstances. It was like the complete opposite.

Did she say why she didn't want to live with you? Because she said she wanted alone time and she felt like she couldn't do her, her hobbies if I was around, which I disagree. She could have used the other room. I had 2 rooms in that apartment. She could have got a little table and then done her

card stuff, her tarot cards or her reading there. I wouldn't have bothered her.

Don't know why she thought—

I don't know, maybe she just wants to be alone completely.

But I guess I also needed to be alone to stream. I wouldn't be able to stream if she was there every day.

I want to stream, do some cooking, chat, talk about stuff.

She would cry. She would start crying if we were together too long. We were together every day for about—

yeah, when I was living at her grandmother's place with her, at the end of the second week, she literally burst into tears and she was crying because she was so stressed out. And I felt so bad because I felt like it was all my fault, like I wasn't wanted around.

It was when we were going to Amsterdam to meet her friends, she started crying because she got so stressed out. I said, why are you crying? She said that she feels all this pressure, like she has to entertain her friends and then she has to worry about me And then she has to worry about her friends liking

me and me liking her friends.

You don't have to cry about it. It's just meeting your bloody friends.

So I quickly moved out and booked myself into a hotel.

I felt so sad that she was crying and stressed out so much just because I was staying with her.

Because I would like a partner who actually wants to be with me. Not— this is so sad that your partner can't stand being with you for more than a few weeks and then ends up crying.

How are you supposed to live together then?

You can't. You can't live together with a girlfriend like Mila.

She wouldn't want to, and then if you tried to make her, she would start crying.

I don't want a girlfriend where we don't live together.

The whole point of being a couple is you're together and you're sharing your lives together, not you have separate lives and then some days you meet up.

Why is my back itchy?

I liked the marriage cuz it's like we were, we were living together and we had a life together. It wasn't like 2 separate lives. And then sometimes we met up. Look, this is what me and Mila were like— not together, but separate, and then sometimes coming together, then separate again, then together. And then me and Chihiro were

like this parallel line.

Ideally, I'd like the parallel line where we're heading in the same direction together. Not like that.

I need to poop. I brushed my teeth as well.

I

was quite happy with the audio quality on my new video. Don't you think it was good?

I used that tiny little clip-on mic. It sounds good, and it was only cheap, and it's not like this huge massive metal thing.

Hi, I'm back.

Let me get

water.

The choke to my water.

Yeah, hopefully I can use that, um, clip-on mic with a laptop so if I traveled I don't have to bring this heavy Blue Yeti, and then I could stream from the laptop and still have good quality audio. Why don't you ban the N-word? I did! I banned the 6 different variations of the N-word. Somehow they still get

it past. Look, I can go on Streamlabs right now. Excuse me.

Streamlabs.

Log out. Log in.

Twitch,

ban them from donating, but then I don't get the money. I want the money.

And then alert box, I put donations. Where is it?

It says custom bad words and I put all the n-words on it.

Yeah, I just have to check the donation message more carefully before I accept it.

They weren't doing that before. Now they're doing this new thing where they put a long paragraph and I think it looks okay And then they sneakily put the N-word in the middle of it. Stupid idiots. Didn't expect the N-word to be in the middle.

Yeah, mic sounds really good. I like the way it clips on the end of my pen.

My ABBA and Preach video made $11. Can you believe that?

So bad.

$11.

Remember when I made hundreds of dollars every video.

How I have fallen.

Oh look, my new girlfriend video finally got over 11K videos— I mean, 11K views.

Seems like the views are taking time now.

I think it will take time for the Abba and Preach video to get views. It will take time for people to find it. It's like the Chris Broad video has 160k views now. It took a few years

because all of his viewers are eventually finding it. 166,000 views. Chris Broad.

It got 5,000 views this month. So every month it's still getting like 5 or 10K views since 2019. Pretty good. If I just had like 10 Chris Broad videos, my problem with Rachel and Jun, my problem with Sharla, my problem with Anime Man over 2 years, all racking up 5K views a month. That's like 50k views a

month on top. I should make more. Oh, anime man said he would meet me and get a drink, and then he ghosted me. I'll just copy and paste the exact same story, just replace the names.

I found out I went to the same school as the anime man, and then he messaged me saying that he was going to come to Osaka and we could get a drink. And I waited and he never messaged me.

Do you think it would work again? The Simon and Martina video is working. I'm getting search result views, which is what I want.

I wonder how much— how many views it would get. Simon and Martina is quite a big channel. So although it's kind of deadish now, they went back to Canada. I really wonder what they're gonna do for content. Everyone subbed to them because they want to see life in Japan or Korea, not life in Canada.

Did I get to smash Mira? What do you mean? I was with her

for nearly a year. Of course we smashed every day.

How many viewers did I sleep with? There was first— the first viewer I ever slept with was Tomoko. Was she a viewer? I don't know if she counts as a viewer because I met her on HelloTalk.

No, I don't think Tomoko counts.

Yeah, the first time I slept with a viewer was probably the Hong Kong girl.

I think most— I don't know, have you— do you know the Hong Kong girl story? I made a video about it, but then she messaged me asking me to take it down.

It was after we came back from Malaysia, she started messaging me, and then I slept with her a few times. It wasn't great, to be honest. She had a really hairy vagina. Like, the pubic hair was really long. Not really hairy. Like, some girls are really hairy where the hairs— even the pubic hair grows as far out

as the thighs or the inner thighs. She wasn't like really hairy, but the hairs that were there were very, very long and straight.

She was the first viewer, I think.

I think you know the rest. Don't need to go through the list. There was that German girl as well from last year.

Let me count them.

Turkish girl.

I think 5,

5 viewers.

Not bad. I wonder how many— no,

5. Maybe 5 is already too much. How I slept with 5 of my viewers. Why I regret sleeping with my viewers.

How I caught gonorrhea from my viewer. I should go back to making up weird stuff like that.

Oh, I miss those days. Just thinking of some weird topic to talk about.

Why I don't use condoms. Why I

was attracted— why I was sexually attracted to my cousin. Just weird stuff I used to make, and I wasn't worried or scared or anything. I just put it up.

I don't think YouTube would ban me for that. Why is it wrong to be sexually attracted to your cousin? The thing I'm worried about is the cousin finds out, but the cousin won't know which one it is. Which cousin do you think I'm talking about? Do you think it's even real?

I wouldn't say it's a complete lie. Some of my cousins are pretty hot.

Not really, I'm just joking. Or am I? No, I should pretend I'm joking because that sounds bad.

Someone might send it to them. Don't send it to them.

I would never. I'm definitely not gripping my penis right now.

I'm joking,

but I wouldn't say no if they offered.

I'd be like, that's weird but also hot.

How much genetic makeup do you share with a cousin anyway? Isn't it like 10%? Less than 10%?

25%? What?

How much DNA do you share with your cousin?

I found this on the web.

Oh

yeah, 25%. It says 23andMe believes cousins are half-siblings.

Wow, you'd make some freaky kids.

Mutated children.

Why I want to smash my cousin, next video.

And then I put a picture of their face on the thumbnail.

Uh, I so want to make that.

Can you imagine how many couples are out there that are probably very closely related and they don't know, and it was just by random chance they met, when actually they're probably like second cousins or something and they're just doing it.

What would you do if you found out your girlfriend or boyfriend was actually your second cousin?

Would you be grossed out and stop dating them, or would it turn you on?

I already did the DNA test 4 years ago. I'm 7.7% Vietnamese.

So I'm not just Chinese. I'm about 40% Chinese, Han Chinese, and then 7.7% Vietnamese, and then a couple percent here and there, random stuff. And then I'm about 49% European. I think it said 26% British and about 14% German/French.

Check it again. I think I checked it last week.

It says I do not have this— the 3 genetic variants we tested that are associated with an increased risk of developing certain cancer.

Wow. The test includes 3 genetic variants in the BRCA1 and 2 genes that are most common in people of Ashkenazi Jewish descent, and I don't have those genes.

0 variants detected. I'm not gonna get cancer.

Have I ever fancied a black girl?

I never met a black girl. There was only one time, but I didn't even talk to her. She was at the guest house, but I've never met a real black girl in person. I met 2 black men, but that was it.

There's no black women that come to mind that I think are really hot or anything.

Ability to match musical pitch. Are they saying I'm pitch perfect?

Yeah, I just never really had much exposure to black women.

Who do I fancy?

I quite fancy this girl who's sending me nudes on Instagram. She's quite hot.

There's no famous people I really fancy right now.

I never really fancied famous people anyway.

Is she a viewer? Yes,

she is, but I'm not sure if she's real, and I'm a bit scared to ask for proof because if I ask for proof and then she ghosts me because she's fake, then I'll feel sad, and then the illusion goes. Right now I'm just like tricking myself into believing she's real because it's hot.

I don't think she's fake.

All of the pictures look consistent. It's the same person,

and I recognize her profile picture. I'm pretty sure I used to chat to her. Before, but she said her Instagram got deleted, so she made a new one.

I don't know, I don't really want to try and find out if she's real because she might be fake and then I'll be sad. Right now it's good jerk-off material.

Couple stupid girls trolled me. They messaged me on Instagram saying that they want to apply for the girlfriend thing, and then I said, oh really, can you show me a picture? And then they just roasted me instead, told me to get help before looking for a relationship. One of them's quite cute. Should I dox her face? No,

I won't. That's bad.

Might be a fake picture.

I don't know why girls bother messaging me if they're not interested. People should know by now that I'm not interested in talking to people if nothing is going to happen between us.

I don't really want to waste time chatting to someone where there's zero chance of anything happening.

Unless I just really like talking to you, which is rare. I hate it when people message me

and

straight away they say they're not interested in me romantically. Then don't message me.

They want to help me and they start giving me advice like, I don't think it's a good idea to share your

Why are you messaging me saying stuff like, I don't think it's a good idea to do the thing that you do that makes everyone interested in your channel? Okay, I'll just stop talking about my personal life then, talk about finance. Thanks for the great idea.

She just messaged me on Instagram saying she doesn't think it's a good idea to make my life public, as if I never thought of that before.

What does she expect me to say? Oh yeah, I never thought of that. Now I think of it, it is a really bad idea to share my private life on YouTube. I'm gonna delete my channel now.

Thanks for that amazing suggestion.

Hope she's not here.

She'd be offended.

What's the best website for meeting girls?

YouTube. Make a channel and go viral. You get hundreds of girls sending you nudes and then ruining your marriage and then disappearing when your channel dies and then leaving you alone.

And then you're sad and lonely. You've got no one, but you got your nude pics still,

all in my secret file.

My new SD card. No, I've got a USB stick now. Do you want to see my USB stick?

I can't reach it, it's too far.

I

got it, I got it! My USB stick, very hot stuff on it.

Will I wear camera glasses? What? I'm getting cold.

Low viewers tonight. Yeah, I don't know why I can't get viewers. I had about 90, then the stream kept disconnecting and lagging, and then people got, got fed up and left. Even with my link on YouTube saying I'm streaming, people aren't coming.

It is pretty late. Wow, it's 4 AM. I should go to bed. 4 AM means I'm not getting any European viewers because they're probably sleeping.

Most of my audience is actually European. It's about 25% American and then like 30% European.

I think I'll just sleep now.

Right now is— what time is it in Japan?

Time in Japan, it's 11:56 in Tokyo, Japan.

I don't think I ever streamed at 11:56 when I was in Japan. I probably started streaming at 2 PM, slightly after lunch in Japan.

I don't know, I think maybe I used to start streaming around now in Japan because I had to stream before Chihiro came home.

Yeah, if I want people to see my community posts on my channel, I'll probably have to start the post with, I got a new job, by the way, streaming on Twitch now. The community posts are also algorithm-driven.

It's also weird, sometimes I get comments saying, welcome back, or, I missed you, when I haven't gone anywhere. I haven't stopped uploading, but they think I have because they probably didn't get any notifications because the algorithm stopped telling them.

You would stream when it was really late in America.

Yeah, yeah, so I'd probably start streaming now when I was in Japan, and then it was— I don't know what time it is in America now,

but I never struggled to get viewers back then. That was my peak. I used to get like 600 viewers. Even when I was doing nothing.

I think I had about 400 viewers when I came back from Rotterdam. There was a bit of interest. There's always a bit of interest every time I move. So if I move now, there'd probably be extra viewers, but then they'd get bored again, won't they?

Yeah, I have to keep moving, don't I? If I want people to stay interested, I've got to constantly keep moving to different places, constantly keep moving into new buildings and then getting kicked out and then moving again and then coming home and getting a new girlfriend and getting a fake job again.

I have to have a fake girlfriend. Why don't I just make up a fake girlfriend and go to London and then actually just get hookers?

I'm going to London to meet my fake girlfriend, my new girlfriend. She's from London and she's 18 and she's homeless. Just make up something weird.

I want to make up something funny that's fun, fun to scheme

and create like a story maybe, because let's face it, nothing interesting is actually gonna happen, is it? Unless by magic some girl messages me who actually wants to meet up and actually lets me film it and lets me upload it and doesn't mind me bitching about her on stream.

If that happened, then yeah, I wouldn't have to fake anything. I'd have actual real content. But let's face reality,

no one's gonna volunteer to sacrifice themselves to the channel of Daniel. Who— which girl wants to take one for the team? Not only do you have to sleep with me, you also have to let me complain about how annoying you were on stream without getting upset.

What am I looking for? I am looking for a new Chihiro that I can move in with. Live with and have a happy relationship with until I get bored and cheat and then get kicked out.

I gifted Pia a sub, she doesn't even watch the stream. Pia's being weird. She keeps warning me, like sending me messages

warning me not to talk about her because her life's in danger or something. I don't know what she's on about.

And then she keeps saying, if you want me to explain, I can. I said, if you don't want me to talk about it, it's best not to tell me anything.

I don't know why her life would be in danger or something.

Why would I be causing her danger just by mentioning her? It's weird.

I still can't believe they drove all the way here from Somerset and then drove all the way back. What a weirdo. Who does that?

It's like 2 hours plus by car and then 2 hours plus back. It's like a 5-hour journey in total.

They're all weird.

Are they both autistic? I think they're all autistic. Either they're really stupid or they're trolling or they're actually autistic,

thinking I broke them up or whatever.

Maybe we're all autistic.

Channel of autistic people led by the autistic Daniel.

Isn't Cesium a well-off computer programmer? Well, apparently having a good job still doesn't stop you from being a massive weirdo.

Turns out you can have a job and still be a weirdo.

Everyone's always saying to me, oh, get a job and be normal,

as if there aren't weird people who have jobs.

Better prepare for bed.

Well, it wasn't a great stream, to be honest, but the ending got a bit better. Very stressful in the beginning, a lot of disconnects and annoying people, but I think we ended it on a good note. That's the most important thing.

Got a New Job video just dropped down to number 3. Got beat out by Why I Hate Making Videos on YouTube. Ah, can't even get number 2.

Hopefully it doesn't slip down to number 4. Number 2 was hard to beat though. Why I Hate Making Videos on YouTube. That was quite a good one.

I need to think of a topic I can talk about for 20 minutes.

Yeah, it's 4 AM. I should go to sleep. Hopefully I can sleep well tonight. I feel quite exhausted now.

Last night was tough. I feel like it's hard to sleep if I don't stream. If I stream, I talk myself— I talk so much it wears me out.

Usually I fall asleep around 5 or And then I wake up at 2, so that's

5 plus 7 is 12 plus 2, about 9 hours. I sleep 9 hours. Wow.

It's impressive how you can do hours, 6-hour stream without games or reacting to videos. Yeah, it is kind of weird. I can just talk and talk and talk for nearly 7 hours straight. I actually streamed for 14 hours just non-stop talking once.

I get bored if I start playing a game.

For some reason I can't stream myself doing anything. I can chop vegetables, that's usually quite therapeutic, but I don't like playing games on stream.

Oh yeah, the moon was really bright yesterday. It was really bright outside and it was the middle of the night.

Everything looked spooky.

I'm not sure if I could enjoy a Rainbow Six stream. Maybe I could try. Maybe I'd really get into it, and then people would be amazed at my Rainbow Six skill.

Maybe the internet would just be too laggy to handle it.

Yeah, I miss the vegetable chopping streams too. My favorite vegetable to chop was...

Um, maybe onions. Broccoli was a bit of a mess. Celery, onions,

that kind of stuff.

No, I just eat freezer food. I just put a frozen burger, frozen chips into the oven and then just turn the oven on. There's not really much preparation going into it. Yeah, green peppers are fun. You can carve out the seeds.

Okay, I'm gonna go to bed now.

Good night.