Cooking with Daniel LIVE - broccoli soup

Okay, let's go.

Another day,

another stream.

Today will be good.

Today will be good.

Today will be good.

Today will be good.

Today will be a good day.

Today will be a good day.

Today will be good.

Today will be good.

Today will be good.

Why is it blocked?

Why is what blocked?

Please be more specific.

Today will be good.

Today

will be good.

Today will be good.

Today will be good.

Why you censored the food?

I have no idea what you're talking about.

I have not censored anything.

Look, today is gonna be a good day.

I'm using positive willpower

for today's soup.

Huh, today

will be good.

Today I'm very busy.

I've got cooking, and then I have to make

a new video for the main channel and

second channel.

And then, I don't know.

I'm not sure what's happening to my

channel, but it seems to be dying.

I don't know where everyone went.

I feel like YouTube is trying to sabotage

my channel.

I can't believe so many people would just

stop watching all at once.

It'll be understandable if it was like a

slow trickle, slowly getting less and less

views, but how can I go from getting views

and then losing so many all at the same

time?

It just seems kind of suspicious, don't

you think?

My last video only got 1,000 views in 4

hours.

I decided delete the video because I was

so embarrassed.

1,000 views in 4 hours?

Usually I get at least 1,000 in the, in

the first hour.

4 hours, usually I'd have about 5,000

views.

I'm pretty worried, to be honest.

It's just really weird because last week—

it was only a week ago— I was still

getting 20K, 30K views.

And then this week, my last video got 1K,

and then the one before that doesn't even

have 10K, and it's been over a day.

And then even on livestreams, look, I've

only got 80 people.

Before, when I did a livestream, I'd have

at least 400 or 500 easy.

Now I can't even get 100, and it's been 5

minutes.

Apparently there's some kind of bug on

YouTube.

When you go into analytics, there's a

warning sign.

It says YouTube is experiencing some kind

of problem where The view counts aren't

being displayed properly, so that might be

part of it.

Even the recent cruise trip didn't even

get 15K.

And I thought people liked the traveling

with wife stuff.

People say stuff like it's summer and

people are busy, but last year this time—

it's August now— last year this time, what

was I doing in August?

August last year.

Summer break is ending, but I don't even

think I have that many kids watching.

I thought most of my audience were adults.

Who remembers what I was doing last year

this time?

You're talking to Japanese man didn't get

as many views because people saw it in the

second channel.

Only 3,000 people saw it in the second

channel.

3,000 isn't that many.

What month comes before October?

September.

Last year this time I was getting good

views.

I was doing the Why I Hate Living in

England, How to Survive a Typhoon, First

Time at Japanese Rockin', My Wife Buys Me

New Clothes.

It's not like my content a year ago this

time was that fascinating.

It was just going shopping and then going

to some Japanese inn,

but I was getting 50k, 40k views back

then.

I don't think it being summer has anything

to do with it.

I think I I don't know, maybe YouTube's

sabotaging my channel, maybe people just

got bored.

I just feel so depressed

about the whole thing.

Sometimes I feel like getting a job so I

don't have to worry.

Do you know how stressful it is having to

be 100% dependent on YouTube for money?

If I had a job and I was getting money

elsewhere, I couldn't give a shit about

YouTube.

I'll just say fuck it, doesn't matter if I

don't get views because I have my job.

It's like nothing I do works.

I try different things like going out

more, meeting people,

and it still gets not very good views.

And then I tried doing the same things

what I was doing before doesn't really get

good views.

So anything I do or try doesn't get good

views.

I think I'm just going to go back to being

really negative,

start complaining about things more.

I was trying to be more positive.

I was trying to do, you know, fun travel

stuff, but it seems like people don't care

about that.

I just feel kind of sad that people only

cared because of the drama.

The only thing that kept people, most

people coming back was the stupid drama.

Not because they liked my videos or they

liked me or my channel, just because there

was some stupid drama going on.

I don't even know if putting more effort

into making the videos interesting would

make any difference.

Like the drawing video, I put a lot of

effort into that and it didn't even get

20k.

Even when I put effort into a video and do

a lot of drawings, try and make them look

good,

still doesn't work.

Not all your viewers are that way.

I know there's a small group of people who

aren't like that, but the vast majority

They won't watch unless there's drama.

So what am I supposed to do?

Just make up some drama, I guess, or let

my channel die?

I thought the traveling stuff would

interest people because, you know, I'm

getting out into the world, showing you

new things.

To be honest, I feel kind of fed up making

videos, but I have to.

Otherwise, we won't have money.

It's just kind of depressing when

you feel like everyone hates you.

So imagine going to work and then everyone

hates you at work.

You're not really going to want to go to

work, are you?

That's how I feel with YouTube.

In the beginning, I was really

enthusiastic about it.

I wanted to make good videos.

I wanted to make people laugh.

I wanted to say, you know, funny things,

but now I just feel like everyone's

against me, and I feel like just saying,

oh, fuck you then, you hate me anyway,

what's the point?

You hate me, I hate you.

Honestly speaking, I just feel kind of fed

up.

Everything I do, I just get criticized

for.

I can't even tell a story about my life

story without getting loads of comments,

people saying that I need to grow up and I

need to stop blaming people and all this

bullshit, just because I tell a story

about bullying.

I could just say one word and then people

start insulting me over it.

What's complaining gonna do about it?

Well, it'll make me feel better for a

start.

Not complaining about it isn't really

helping.

I suppose complaining about it will just

make it worse.

Yeah, I have 91K subs and I can't even get

15,000 of them to watch.

The negative trolls are wearing on you.

Yeah, they are.

All of the insults and name-calling It is

kind of getting to me.

It's just making me angry.

I just feel angry all the time.

I don't feel

fun.

I don't feel like

I can have fun making videos anymore.

I just feel anger all the time.

I don't feel like trying to be

entertaining or trying to be funny, or I

don't feel like trying to make good stuff

because I just feel angry.

Tell stories from your childhood.

When I tell stories about my childhood,

people just say I'm blaming my past or I

need to stop thinking about my past.

You used to have fun.

Yeah, I used to have fun making videos.

If you looked at my videos from last year,

I had, I had energy

and I had fun, you know, coming up with

points and doing it in kind of like a

comedic way, coming up with funny titles.

Take a break.

I can't even take a break because if I

take a break, the channel will just die

even more.

I don't know, complaining about it doesn't

help.

I know that.

But I can't help—

I can't help it.

I just don't feel motivated to do

anything.

I don't want to leave my wife.

People keep saying I should leave my wife

or my channel's gonna die.

I don't wanna leave my wife,

and that wouldn't help anyway.

Yeah, I'd get more views, but then I have

to spend so much money traveling.

It's much more cost-effective to stay in

one place.

Even if I'm getting lower views.

The whole Germany stuff was fun because I

was getting way more views, but I didn't

make any money because I spent all of it

on hotels, planes.

So I keep telling that to myself to try

and make myself feel better about the

situation.

I keep saying Oh, my channel's dying, but

at least my living expense is so low now.

At least I'm saving money.

Wasn't saving any money during the German

stuff.

And then if I left her, I would just feel

even more depressed because I'd be lonely.

And sad.

So I don't really know what to do

with my life anymore.

I'm scared of making controversial videos

because I'm scared of losing subs and

getting strikes or getting demonetized.

I can't even put the word hate into the

title now without it getting demonetized.

Even putting negative words like boring or

sucks into a title will get it

demonetized.

I'm planning on making a video about

Kanaito again

since he reported my video for privacy.

I might do a bit of a rant about him and

then just add some broccoli soup onto the

end of the video.

It's drama, it's beef.

Usually works before.

I'm just trying to process all this in my

mind.

It's a lot to deal with.

Just try and imagine it yourself.

Imagine you run a shop and then one week

everything's going well, and then the next

week You stop getting customers, and then

you get like one customer

in a day, and then you start thinking that

your business is gonna fail and you might

have to give up your shop that you've

always dreamed of doing.

Just try and imagine what that feels like.

It's the worst feeling in the world.

Why are none of your knives steel or

metal?

It's a ceramic knife.

Ceramic is so much better than steel

knives.

They don't go blunt.

Been using this for over a year and it's

still just as sharp.

People keep saying it's a plastic knife.

It's not plastic, it's ceramic.

There's no such thing as a plastic knife.

How do people not know about ceramic

knives?

They don't go blunt.

You don't have to sharpen them.

Whereas steel knives, they do go blunt.

Shop costs money to run, YouTube doesn't

cost much.

Well, it does if you want to get good

content.

I had to pay so much money to get the

German content, and for the sex doll, I

had to spend money to get the sex doll.

It costs money to make— to get content, to

get stuff, or go places.

The cruise trip cost me $40, but I only

made $60, so in total I only made $20.

It's gonna cost me $300 to go camping,

probably get shit views from that as well.

Read the comments, there's some good

advice here.

I don't know, people keep giving me advice

or video ideas, but I just don't think

they're good ideas.

People said, why don't you go out, do

traveling, that'll get you views.

Tried that, didn't get views, got less

than 20k.

Tried making men— male friends, I guess it

kind of worked, but only got 20k, nothing

amazing.

I went and met Ice Poseidon, that only got

Didn't even get 30K.

It's like everything I try fails.

I tried people's ideas, didn't work.

Nothing has worked.

The only thing that worked was the My

Problem with Chris Broad video, my sex

doll video.

And the whole leaving my wife and then

going back to her again.

So, so far what works is leaving my wife,

then going back to her, and then

complaining about other bigger YouTubers.

That's what's worked every time.

And then having beef and arguments with

random people.

The people don't even have to be famous

people.

It can be a nobody like Connor.

Or my cousin, my 15-year-old cousin.

So what I've learned is

complaining about other people, talking

about sex, leaving and going back to my

wife is what works.

What doesn't work?

Talking about mental illnesses,

going on cruise trips.

Well, if you guys have such great ideas,

why don't you make a channel and try it

yourself?

Well, anyway, I have to do the cooking

now.

Today we're making broccoli soup.

You need a broccoli and a potato

and some bacon.

And what you do is

you just cut the broccoli, trim it, trim

off these bits first,

and then cut this bit off.

You might be able to grow a new broccoli

if you put this in water.

Then you don't have to buy broccoli

anymore.

And then you cut off the stems.

We don't need this bit either.

This bit's all hard and bitter.

Um, what next?

We need to peel the potato.

How much do you make for 20K views?

Make about $100 usually.

It depends what the subject is.

If it's a family-friendly subject, then

usually 100, but if it's kind of sexual,

then less than 100, maybe 50.

You don't have to peel the potato, but if

I don't— if I don't peel the potato, the

soup will be all gritty.

It would have bits of skin in it.

What happened to the video that was up

before?

I took it down because it was getting

really, really bad views.

Got 1,000 views in 4 hours.

Was it that uninteresting?

I thought people would be interested

because it did pretty well on the second

channel, so I thought it would do well on

the main channel as well.

Maybe it got more than 1,000.

YouTube is just bugged.

I don't know, but it's just depressing.

4 hours later and you've only got 1,000

views.

You know what I want to go back to?

I want to go back to that time when I was

making commentary videos on people like

Nobita, Rachel and Jun.

I don't know if anyone remembers that

time.

That was when I was actually having fun

making videos.

I was making fun— I was making fun— having

fun making fun of Jun, calling him a robot

and stuff.

Edited the video,

had some funny jokes.

People thought it was funny when I

uploaded the Jun video.

People were saying stuff like, this is

what you should be doing on your channel.

Commentary.

This is really good.

But then I got scared because I didn't

want to use other people's content.

They might copyright strike me.

I enjoyed making the Nobita video as well.

Had to take it down because he would have

copyright striked me.

Good thing I took it down.

I just feel very confused.

I don't know, one minute I feel like I

hate my viewers, and then next minute

I want to please them, and then the next

minute I hate doing YouTube, then next

minute

I feel like I want to make a good video.

I want to make good videos.

I want people to like my videos, to enjoy

them,

laugh at me or with me.

I don't really mind.

I don't know when

I stopped caring about that.

I don't know when I stopped caring about

making good videos.

I used to really care.

I used to think very carefully about how

to make the video, how to edit it, what to

say, trying to make it interesting.

And then about a few months ago,

for some reason, something changed inside

of my brain.

I just felt like, oh, fuck it.

They don't like me anyway.

Why should I care?

Doing YouTube just completely messes with

you mentally.

It's like a massive mindfuck.

It's extremely confusing.

There's just so many contradicting

feelings that you get from doing it.

I guess the thing I hate most about it is

that I'm just 100% dependent on people

liking me and liking my content.

I need the viewers

way, way, way more than they— well, they

don't even need me at all because there's

like 100 different YouTube channels.

But I need— I depend, literally depend on

the viewers.

The viewers don't depend on me for

anything apart from, you know, a laugh

here and there.

That feeling of being completely dependent

on

people kind of sucks, really.

Makes you feel like a slave.

Like you're a slave to them because you

need them.

That's what I hate about being a human.

As humans, we're so dependent on each

other.

Why can't I be like an eagle, just fly

around, eat rats?

Humans are so dependent on their society

and being part of this society.

My wife's coming home late because she's

meeting a friend.

She doesn't want me to meet her friends

anymore because I film them, then I talk

about them, then they get upset.

My wife's lesbian friend blocked her.

She said she doesn't want to be involved

with her anymore.

Because I made a video and they were in it

after they gave me permission.

Yeah, blame my wife after you gave me

permission to film you.

Good logic.

So what I want to do is I want to make

good videos and I'm going to make my next—

I'm going to try and make my next one a

good video

with good points, maybe some humor, and

then topped off with a broccoli potato

soup with some good upbeat piano music.

And then I'm gonna make a video for my

second channel.

I think I want to do trending topics for

my second channel.

Do you guys know that channel called

Optimus?

He has 400k subs and he just talks about

trending topics whilst playing a game.

For about 10 minutes.

He has Minecraft footage or Call of Duty

footage in the background, and he just

talks about a trending topic.

First, he'll describe it.

He'll say, so recently so-and-so did this,

and then this happened.

He'll explain it, and then he'll give his

opinion.

He'll say, I think this is bad, you should

never blah blah blah.

And he gets great views because it's a

trending topic.

I might try and do that.

I might talk about that girl who beat her

dog.

What's her name?

Brooke.

Brooke Houtt.

She's trending right now, so I might hop

onto that bandwagon.

The second channel, I think I'm gonna do

experimental stuff on it,

and then I'll try and make stuff on the

main channel that I think you guys would

like.

It's not really about what I like anymore.

I need to make stuff that I think you guys

like, not what I like.

If I made a video about things I like, I

don't even like anything, so how would I

even do that?

Didn't you already try that news?

Don't think so.

I tried jumping onto the James Charles

bandwagon, didn't really work.

Still got 20K, but I think those are just

the 20K from the people who watch me

anyway, not from new people.

I know what people want.

They want drama, but I just I don't really

have much drama.

Everything's pretty peaceful right now.

Me and my wife, we're good.

The only drama was the lesbian friends

thing

and that stupid Connor guy who keeps

harassing me.

He's so petty.

I'm pretty pissed off with him actually.

I might make a rant video about the whole

thing.

You're a very talented illustrator.

Make more illustrated productions.

I would like to if they got more views,

but the problem is— ouch— it takes a very

long time to do,

and it's a lot of work trying to think of

of the drawings in the first place, and

they don't really even get any more views

than my normal videos do.

If they got way more views, then I'd

probably focus on that.

What about my visa?

I can stay in Japan as a tourist until

December.

My wife hasn't said anything about the

spouse visa.

We haven't talked about it.

I miss the days when I had funny titles,

stuff like, let's talk about my dick

cheese, my, my foreskin,

but it would get demonetized straight

away.

That's why I have to change everything to

things like 5 skin or 5 play.

My titles used to be pretty funny.

My recent titles are just kind of boring.

I don't know what happened.

I tried making generic titles, but years

ago I used to have very weird titles.

I think those were the best ones.

The problem is I got scared.

I got scared of losing subs.

Back then I didn't care because I barely

had any subs anyway, so it didn't matter.

And I wasn't relying on YouTube for

income, I was working in a petrol station.

So I didn't care, I would just make crazy

stuff like my girlfriend's the most boring

person in the world.

Now I have to be careful because I don't

want to destroy my channel or lose

viewers.

Should I blend everything first?

And then boil it, or boil it first and

then blend it.

By the way, Tomoko keeps coming to my

Twitch streams and then saying all this

crazy stuff.

I think she's having a mental breakdown.

She was saying stuff like, I'm gonna tell

everyone that he tried to meet me for sex

again, when I didn't, didn't try and meet

her for sex again.

And then she kept saying she was going to

come and find us when we were streaming at

the cruise ship and then confront me and

my wife.

I'm pretty sure it's her because the

Japanese was native level,

unless it was some Japanese viewer who was

pretending to be her.

I don't have Japanese viewers.

I'm pretty sure I don't have Japanese

trolls who do stuff like that.

Blend first, boil first, boil then blend.

Okay, I'm going to— I think I'm gonna boil

and then blend.

Tomoko's mental, completely obsessed.

She rants on Twitter saying she'll go to

the castle to meet my mum.

Really?

I haven't seen her Twitter for ages

because she blocked me on it, but she does

rant.

She rants on Twitter every day.

She writes loads of rubbish.

No one's even reading it, but she writes

it all in Japanese.

Ranting about random things.

She's completely nuts.

I kind of feel sorry for her.

She said she lied to me about being

married because she was embarrassed about

being over 40 and not being married,

which I guess makes sense now.

Maybe she's still in love with me.

She wants my baby.

Why do I attract all these crazy women?

Oh, my wife said her mum walks past our

house, our apartment, every day.

That's crazy.

What if I just pop out and then she walks

past?

I don't know if she knows what I look

like.

So my wife said don't go out onto the

balcony around 5 PM because her mum might

be walking past.

Imagine if her mum found out about us.

What would happen?

My wife's sister said— my wife said her

sister asked her if we've gotten divorced

yet, and she said no.

And then her sister said, why?

My wife said she hasn't gotten around to

it.

They don't know we're back together.

Isn't that funny?

I think it's kind of funny.

That's content.

Well, I already made a video called My

Wife's Family Don't Know We're Back

Together.

Put the water in to boil everything.

Well, now we wait.

This is what cooking's like.

It's not really exciting.

You just chop stuff and then you boil it.

50 minutes later, we're finally cooking.

It's nice because I don't have to meet her

family now.

Don't have to go for family events, so I

think it worked out pretty nicely.

Who here hates meeting their in-laws?

I'm pretty sure most married men don't

really enjoy meeting their in-laws.

I managed to get out of it, plus I had got

to have sex with a bunch of young girls in

between.

It's like all, all pros, all benefits for

me.

Got to have sex with a bunch of young

girls, don't have to meet my in-laws,

still got back with my wife.

It's like I got everything I wanted,

bought my cake and I ate it.

I'm thinking about making one called Why I

Don't Feel Bad About Cheating on My Wife.

It's a bit of a copy from TerryTV's new

video called I Keep Cheating on My

Boyfriend or Girlfriend and I Don't Feel

Bad About It.

I don't really feel bad about it.

I got to have sex with other girls, why

would I feel bad about that?

But I think if I make a video like that,

everyone will call me psycho or they'll

not like me anymore.

Do I regret doing it?

Would I not do it if I could do it again?

Probably not.

I don't regret doing it.

I'm glad I had sex with other girls.

It was fun

for me, not for her.

I might do an apology to black women

video.

Novice's apology to black people video did

well.

We already don't like you, but some people

like me.

Who here likes me?

The problem is I can't tell the people who

don't like me to fuck off because I don't

want them to fuck off.

I want them to keep watching.

I need them.

I need everyone, even if I hate you.

We're like a dysfunctional family.

You hate me, I hate you, but I need you.

Have I gone to the doctor for my right

nut?

I'm surprised anyone remembers that.

No, haven't.

My dad told me I should, but then he died.

I don't think it's cancer.

I think it's just like a cyst or

something, or maybe—

I don't know.

It's the same size.

I can feel it.

It's easier to feel now.

I don't know if that's because it's gotten

bigger or because I just got better at

finding it.

When I touched the bottom of my right

testicle,

I can definitely feel a lump.

Also, I get these weird chest pains.

It feels like a stabbing prick in my lung.

Most of the time it's not there, but when

I lie on my side

and I breathe in deeply, I get this

stabbing pain in

my

lung.

You don't owe them an apology, you'd be

admitting defeat.

I know, but I think it'll get views.

Is it wrong to fake an apology?

To get money when I don't really mean it.

I'm not sure when I first noticed a lump.

I think it was.

When I was about 20-ish.

That was about 10 years ago.

It would be a good video though.

I have cancer.

People wouldn't believe me

because people know by now that I'm pretty

desperate for views.

They probably just think I'm making it up

even if I had cancer.

You sold your soul to the internet.

Yeah, sold my soul for views.

Well, I'm gonna make the second channel

into a trending topics news channel, and

that's gonna overtake my main channel.

I'm gonna talk about The dog-beating

woman, and I'll do commentary.

I'm

sorry, but my life is just going really

well right now.

I know you guys like the train wreck, but

there isn't much of a train wreck.

The train wreck has happened and it's been

cleared up, and now we're sailing

smoothly, which is great for me.

I love it.

My life's calm and peaceful.

Not good for the channel, and that's

making me depressed.

If it was cancer, you'd rapidly lose

weight and cough every day.

I think if it was cancer, it would have

killed me by now.

I don't know.

Apparently testicular cancer is extremely

slow.

To progress.

I like it better when your life is going

well.

Thanks, so do I.

But videos about my life going well don't

get views.

Oh no, I'm running out of gas!

I've run out of gas!

You see, nothing goes well.

It's okay, I have a spare gas canister.

Sometimes I wish I would get cancer so I

can get money.

I would find it so boring meeting my

in-laws.

Number one, I couldn't film any of them

because they wouldn't like it.

I would love to film their kids,

but they wouldn't let me.

It'll be really boring.

What am I going to talk about?

All I talk about is YouTube and sex.

It won't go in.

Ugh, I'm scared.

What the hell?

Oh, I have to turn it off first.

There you go.

Gas.

There's only 2 things I talk about: sex

and YouTube.

That's my whole life, basically.

I'm the most boring person to talk to

because no one gives a shit about YouTube,

and no one really wants to hear me talking

about how much sex I had, how great the

sex was with some fat girl.

The potato is still a bit hard.

It takes such a long time to cook a

potato.

Maybe I should add the bacon now.

Japanese bacon.

Wait, wait, wait.

No, I shouldn't add the bacon because I'm

gonna blend everything.

If I add the bacon now, the bacon will get

blended.

Don't want blended bacon.

I'm going to blend it so it's like a soup

instead of chunks of broccoli.

Oh, I got a new vape flavor, coffee

flavor.

It hasn't come yet, it's coming tomorrow,

but it's going to be weird.

Can you imagine vaping coffee?

So interesting.

I got tobacco menthol flavor, coffee

flavor, lemon flavor, mango ice flavor.

Pretty excited about it.

I want to try the tobacco flavor.

Maybe I'll just become a smoking addict.

We might go to the zoo tomorrow and

livestream it if you want to watch that.

Hope— I'm hoping to have some funny

moments at the zoo.

And then make a video out of the stream

and then call it visiting the worst zoo in

Japan because it has pretty bad reviews.

It's a really old zoo.

A lot of people complain that the animals

are mistreated and the cages too small.

So I could go there kind of like being an

investigator, do it as like an exposé

video, dramatic music.

Exposing the truth behind Tennoji Zoo.

Shit, I just revealed what zoo it is.

No, don't come.

I'm not asking people to come to the zoo.

It's not a meetup.

And then we're gonna watch Lion King.

I think that's kind of funny.

We're gonna see the real-life lions at the

zoo, and then we're gonna watch a CGI Lion

King movie.

So tomorrow should be full of activities

that people won't care about because it's

not drama.

Try not to call the zoo boring, but that's

my catchphrase— boring

and not up to my standards.

Zoos are pretty boring though.

So you just go there and there's a bunch

of animals looking miserable in a cage.

It's kind of depressing actually.

Can you imagine being a bird and you have

the ability to fly anywhere but you're

stuck in a cage?

What a shit life.

But at least they're being provided for.

I think everything's cooked.

It's pretty soft.

I enjoyed your Draw My Life.

Thanks.

I'm not sure what else I could do as an

illustrated video.

Maybe I'll release the animals like on the

Jurassic— Jurassic World?

Jurassic Park film?

When they sneak into InGen's camp, they

release all the dinosaurs and everyone

dies.

Okay, so next we have to take the boiled

potato and broccoli and then put it into

the blender.

Why doesn't it work?

Don't tell me the blender's— oh, the

Blender's fine.

Who remembers when I bought this blender?

I bought it in the second apartment, and

actually I made a broccoli soup then as

well.

And then my dad got ill,

and then we left.

I kind of want to put my finger in there.

Very tempting.

We're gonna blend it.

I'm not sure how to get the broccoli into

the blender though.

Have a spoon.

Ow, it's hot.

Fuck.

Why don't I film myself having sex?

I already did that,

but it's private.

It's not for sale.

I should do what TerryTV does.

Pay someone to do the drawings and then

just do the voiceover.

But how much would I have to pay?

If I have to pay $50 to make $50, it's not

very good.

TerryTV gets loads of views, so I guess

it's easier for him to just pay $100.

I'm too lazy to do the drawing myself.

Pay someone else.

Can anyone here draw?

I'll pay you

50% of the ad revenue.

So if I make $50, I'll give you $25.

If it makes $1,000, I'll give you $500.

Deal?

But then you might copyright strike me.

You could be a dick, and then you could

trick me, get my money, and then

afterwards you might copyright strike my

channel because you hate me.

Because technically you did the artwork,

you would, you would own it.

I think.

I'm not sure.

It doesn't have to be amazing art, you

know, just kind of like anime style.

And it doesn't have to be all animated,

just a few frames so there's kind of

movement happening.

It can just be blinking or movement of the

mouth.

We'll rip off TerryTV

if it's work— working for him.

I can just illustrate my old stories,

retell them

but illustrated.

But I get the feeling YouTube would just

strike me and not listen to my complaints.

I don't trust YouTube.

I don't trust YouTube to be on my side.

YouTube suck.

Gave me a strike for killing a cockroach

when Chris Broad shows footage of someone

butchering a tuna, pulling it out the sea

with blood flowing out of its gills, and

then it's still, still advertised.

How's that fair?

I don't get it.

So it's okay to yank a massive tuna out

the sea with blood flowing out of it, but

you're not allowed to put some poison on a

cockroach?

Doesn't make any sense.

People complaining, saying it was cruel.

To the cockroach.

Well, it's pretty cruel to the tuna as

well.

At least I didn't eat the cockroach.

That's what irritates me about YouTube.

It's just so unfair, so biased.

People get special treatment.

I promise my next video will be good.

I'm gonna do editing, I'll have good

points,

and I'll add some jokes.

Maybe I'll do it naked.

Half naked mosaic my crotch.

Does Osaka have aquariums?

Yeah, there's one pretty famous one, but

we already went there last year.

We could go again, but this time

livestream it instead.

I didn't vlog it last time because at the

time I was making quality content and I

didn't think travel vlogs would interest

people.

And last year I was right.

Last year

I had a better understanding of what

people wanted, but now I'm just trying to

make travel vlogs as my main videos and

it's not working really.

Last year I had the right idea of just

doing travel vlogs but shoving it on the

end of ranting stuff.

How about this?

I record the voiceover and then you just

illustrate to the voiceover.

I'll send you the video with the voiceover

of me telling some story,

and then all you have to do is do the

drawings to go with it.

And I'll give you— how about 40% of the ad

revenue?

If it goes viral and I make $1,000, then

you'd make a lot.

But if it barely gets any views, only

makes $20, then I'll just give you $4.

So it's a bit of a gamble

for both of us, I

guess.

Okay, the blender is full.

We can start blending.

Let me set up the blending cam.

I love your art style.

Thanks, but I'm so lazy I can't even

motivate myself to do the drawings myself.

That's what I just said.

Sorry, I wasn't paying attention.

Oh, we could season.

I should add some water because it's going

to be really thick.

We need to season the soup before we blend

it, so when it blends, it seasons.

I feel like I'm doing this wrong,

but then the seasoning won't be cooked.

We're using chicken stock for seasoning.

Put some chicken stock—

I think that's enough.

And we have some basil.

Some

parsley,

some black pepper.

That's the soup right there.

Look at that, you can drink that as soup.

Let's give it a swirl, swirl around.

This is the seasoning cup, and then just

pour it into the blender.

That will add flavor.

Oh, it's all stuck in the cup.

Get more water.

Okay, I think we're ready to blend.

We still have to cook the bacon.

I might put the bacon away actually.

Can't be bothered.

I'm not sure which way the lid goes on.

Oh,

before I blend, I want to clear up some of

the rubbish.

Okay, here we go.

Who's ready?

I'm a bit worried it'll go everywhere.

It's not moving.

Everything's stuck inside.

Everything's stuck.

Oh, there we go, we've got movement.

Do we need more water?

It looks a bit thick.

It's more like a paste at the moment, not

a soup.

Let me give it a try.

It's okay, it just tastes like salty

broccoli.

I'll add more water.

It's not bad, nothing special.

I think that's enough blending.

I don't want it to be too smooth.

Okay, now we need to get a bowl.

It looks like sauce.

Yeah, it looks like Some kind of sauce you

put on a steak.

I have milk.

Actually, I do have cream.

Good idea.

Cream this baby up.

I've got— see if it smells.

No, it smells okay.

Got some fresh cream.

Cream of broccoli soup.

Anyone?

I think that's enough.

Okay, I've blended it way too much now.

Okay, let's try it again, see if the cream

helped.

Hopefully it's creamy.

Oh, that's actually good.

The cream has made it taste good for some

reason.