she blocked me...it's really over now

Testing,

testing.

Um, testing.

Um, testing.

Hello.

Welcome back again.

Has Sunny talked to you yet? She actually

messaged me last night at 9:20 p.m. I

guess I didn't notice because I was

streaming and she blocked me.

I guess she was watching the streams. She

probably was watching the stream. I have

this suspicion that she said she'll come

on Monday to pick her stuff up instead of

the weekend because she wanted the weekend

to watch me stream to check what I was

saying. And then I guess I didn't

say the right things.

It wasn't that long. It was just like a

paragraph. So what was— I

thought it was because she wanted to get

her stuff back. So she

doesn't care about her stuff. So then what

does she want to come on Monday and, and

talk or what?

Um, so basically she said she's not gonna

come on Monday to pick her stuff up. I can

bin it. I'll read the message

in a minute.

I thought she just really wanted her stuff

back, but then I did think it was a bit

weird. That she was so desperate to get

back a bunch of shampoo and moisturizing

cream. It's worth like £10, probably.

Just buy new stuff. But I don't think

that was the point. I think the point was

to see me, and then she used the, can I

pick my stuff up, as an excuse to see me.

But then see me and do what? What are we

going to talk about? We already finished

talking. I want to do YouTube. You don't

want me to do YouTube. So unless you

change your mind, nothing's going to

change because I'm not changing my mind.

So I don't know what she thought she was

going to talk about, what we were going to

talk about. I'm not begging

her to come back anymore. Done with that.

I made loads of changes. I've completely

changed my whole life.

She's gotta make some change. What changes

has she made? She's gotta make some

I'm done making changes. If you don't want

to date a YouTuber, then don't date a

YouTuber.

So basically she said, mm-hmm,

I'm blocked as well because her picture

disappeared. Sent yesterday at 9:20.

I didn't realize. I think I had my

notifications turned off. So it says,

hey, just to let you know, I don't think

I'll come Monday to pick up my stuff now.

You can just throw it away, and I don't

think there's much anyway. I just want my

last memory of you to be a happy one, not

sad and angry and awkward, which it

probably would be if we meet again. So

sorry we couldn't make it work, Daniel. I

truly wish you all the best. And I said,

okay, goodbye, Sunny, but it didn't send.

It's got one tick.

Yeah, so I don't really know what her plan

was. What, she was gonna come and pick up

her stuff and what?

I mean, I don't think it would be angry if

we met because I'm not angry at

her. I'm disappointed, I guess, and I

guess she's disappointed in me.

Yeah, I thought it was kind of weird that

she would want her stuff back when it's

all just worthless. Not much value.

Probably like £20, £30 max.

And if she left it here in the first

place, it must mean it's not very

important. Otherwise she wouldn't have

left it here. It's like secondary stuff.

So that she didn't have to keep bringing

stuff from her mum's house.

Yeah, so it makes me wonder a few— about a

few things. Like, if I had just carried on

making— if I just said I'm gonna make

gaming videos but I didn't bring back the

main channel and I didn't stream, there

probably could have been a good chance we

would not break up. But because I, I

brought back everything basically and

ranted about her and said a lot of stuff I

shouldn't have said, like the stuff about

Mila and then getting mad at her family.

I don't know, I don't really think when I

get mad about her family she doesn't

really seem that bothered. I thought she'd

be angry if I like started whining about

her family. But I've whined about her

family basically every breakup stream,

and she doesn't seem that mad about it.

What did I say about Mila? I basically

just said I've been carrying around a

little, um, piece of paper

that Mila wrote for my—

I think— I can't remember, it was like a

Christmas present or something. I've been

carrying that in my wallet for 5 years. I

don't know if that would bother her. It's

not— it's not like sexual or anything.

It's just sentimental. I think she also

said she had sentimental things of her

exes, so I guess she would understand.

I was a bit scared she would find it and

then get mad at me, so I hid it.

She probably thinks I'm still in love with

Milo or something.

No, I just— I don't know. That little

piece of paper, for some reason, is kind

of special for me.

I'm sure I'll keep little mementos from

Sunny as well, like her underwear.

Yeah, I wasn't expecting her to send that

message. To be honest, I was kind of not

really expecting her to come anyway. She

changes her mind all the time. It's like

one minute, oh, I'm coming on Tuesday.

Oh, actually, I don't want to come

anymore. Oh, it's okay if you make videos.

Oh, I didn't think you were gonna make

videos. She flip-flops like crazy. I'm

coming on Monday to pick up my stuff.

Actually, I'm not coming on Monday anymore

to pick up my stuff. Jesus, make up your

mind. I've never known someone to not be

able to make up their mind so much. It's

like you can't trust anything she says. I

said I didn't really know if I could take

anything you say seriously because you

keep changing your mind. And then she

said, you should. Well, obviously I

shouldn't take anything you say seriously

because you never stick to what you say.

So what's the point?

The cards Sunny got you? Yeah, they were

sweet. I'll probably keep those. I put all

the stuff she gave me into a bag for now

because they'll make me sad if I see it.

She got me this pot noodle cup and a

humidifying Japanese cup ramen pot.

I think this is just junk she brought back

with her from Japan. She gave it to me as

a gift. It just seems like she already had

this stuff and thought, oh, Donnie might

like this. Yeah, I don't really know what

to do with a fake plastic cup noodle pot

that humidifies the room. Why would

I want to humidify the room? I don't feel

like the air is dry.

No, I gotta pay rent tomorrow. £900.

Is she coming over tomorrow or not? Nope.

And she blocks me. Why does she always

block me? This is what I don't get.

So we talked last Wednesday,

um, about this whole thing, and I said I'm

not gonna not do YouTube. And she said, I

guess we're not compatible. And I said, I

guess not. And I took that

as, okay, we've broken up now, it's over.

But then after we had that long

conversation, she then goes, what's your

Ubisoft Connect login? I want to play

Assassin's Creed. Like, we just didn't

have a relationship-ending conversation a

day ago. She goes, oh, can I play

Assassin's Creed? What's the password? So

I give her the password and she just says,

thanks, smiley face. Really weird.

And then

she blocked me yesterday. So what I've

noticed, the pattern. So what happens is

we have a fight, we have a serious talk

where we say it's over. It's not working,

is it? Because you're the shittest

boyfriend I've ever known. So then it's

like, oh, we have the it's over talk. But

it's not really over. She hasn't blocked

me yet. And then she's either waiting for

me to text her or she's

like thinking or observing. She observes

my stream to decide on her next move. And

then I'll do my stream where I get all

angry and I rant, which probably leads her

to thinking, okay, I'm done. It's over for

good now. And then she blocks me.

And then she leaves like a dramatic

goodbye message and then blocks me. She

always blocks me. I don't get it. Like,

why block me? I don't want to message you

anyway. I've got nothing left. I said

everything I want to say. What's the point

blocking me? What, do you think I'm going

to start getting angry at you over text?

I just don't care anymore. So then she

blocks me, and then what happened before

was I get really sad and down, and then I

get all crazy, and then I start spamming

her phone because blocking me really

annoys me. But this time I'm done. I don't

Like, imagine as if I'm gonna start

spamming her phone with my 5 different SIM

cards again. Can't be bothered.

Yeah, and then we get back together and

then make promises, and then we don't keep

any of the promises. Like, she said she

would try stop getting so upset that I

don't text much or I don't compliment

much, but she didn't. Still gets upset

about it.

So guess it's over if I don't

keep up the chase. I'm not falling for

this getting blocked thing again like

before. I'm not even bothered.

Fearful avoidant. Yeah, I kind of wanted

to block her too because I was scared she

was gonna try and persuade me out of going

back to YouTube. I was a bit scared she'd

be like, oh, please don't go back to

YouTube. I'll do this and I'll do that.

And then I'll be like, nah.

She's trying at least. But I really wanted

to come back to YouTube, so I did. I did

actually delete WhatsApp twice and

reinstalled it twice. I thought I better

reinstall it just in case she does message

me. I can't be a hypocrite

and block her when I moaned so much that

she blocked me. I don't block, I just

delete the whole app.

So yeah, I kind of didn't want to talk

because I was scared I would chicken out

of trying to come back to YouTube. But I

really just had to, like, do it.

Otherwise, I actually was kind of scared

to come back to YouTube and start

streaming again because I guess I kind of

promised her that I would stop doing

YouTube. For our relationship to survive.

And I went— I completely went back on it.

So that was my fault. Although I wouldn't

have done that if she didn't get mad at me

for making gaming and tech videos, which

she said I was allowed to do. So that was

her fault for triggering the whole thing.

Like, if she didn't get mad at me last

Tuesday,

She said she was building resentment

towards me because I was making videos

every day on my second channel thinking

she wouldn't notice. Obviously, I knew she

noticed because I made them in front of

her. What's she talking about? So if she

didn't get mad at me about that, then I

wouldn't have gotten fed up and thought,

oh, screw this, I'm going back to YouTube.

So it's kind of her fault. All because

I was dry texting because I was down, not

very chatty. I said I'm not very chatty,

and then she got mad at me for not being

very chatty. She was like,

I'm sick and tired of putting so much

effort into this one-sided conversation

and you can't even be bothered to write

more than a sentence. Yeah, because I'm

not very chatty. I just told you, leave me

alone. We're going to see each other

tomorrow anyway, and then we will talk the

whole time. Why can't I just not text you

at this very moment? Was my thinking. My

thinking was, it's like 9 p.m. I want to

go to bed. I'm not very talkative at the

moment. And we're seeing each other anyway

tomorrow. Why do I need to spend all this

time texting you? And then if I spend all

my time texting you now, when I see you

tomorrow, I won't have anything to say

because I would have said it all over

text. So I was saving. I like

it when stuff happens between us seeing

each other. So when we do see each other,

I've got a lot to talk about because if

nothing happened or I already talked about

everything and then we see each other, I

don't know what to talk about really

because nothing happened of interest.

So that's my logic behind it. But she

thinks she feels unvalued and like

I don't care about her because I'm not

texting much.

Why would she want you to quit YouTube?

Because she gets hate in the comments and

it upsets her. That is literally the only

reason. And she said some of the stuff

upsets her, like when I make ex-wife

videos, apparently that really annoys her,

which I didn't realize. You know,

recently I made a video called Why I Miss

My Ex-Wife or something, or Why I Regret

Getting Divorced. Apparently that upset

her. I didn't even know.

What's the point blocking you? I don't

know, maybe she's I'm gonna try and get

her back. I don't know, every time we have

fights she blocks me. It's really weird.

And she blocked her ex as well. She said,

she said because she just didn't want to

talk to him anymore ever again.

If Sunny made a video about how she misses

her ex-boyfriend, um,

well, if she explained that it was for

content and she didn't really miss him,

then I would understand. Like, obviously I

don't miss Chihiro. I just missed 2018

when I was making a lot of money and my

channel was doing really well and I was

young And life always just seemed so

great. I miss those times, but I don't—

it's not because of Chihiro. It's because

of a bunch of other stuff. Also, the whole

marriage topic was like an

attempt to get some views.

It's not heartfelt or from the heart or

genuine. It's just clickbait. I mean,

I could make a case for missing everyone.

Oh, I miss Mila. Oh, I miss

XYZ girlfriend. Miss Turkish girl. I could

make a video talking about how I miss

anyone. Doesn't mean anything though.

Why I miss Hong Kong guys' fat cheeks.

Faster was the best girl you ever had.

Yeah, looking back, she was very nice.

She never got angry at me apart from a

couple times. I mean, she did cry a lot

over stuff, like when I made a video

called Why I Miss Living in England, she

cried about it. And then she got upset

when I painted Chihiro. She thought I was

like doing this romantic gesture,

painting Chihiro, and I'm going to send it

to her for her birthday. When actually I

was just painting a woman and then it

started to look like Chihiro. So I

thought, oh, why don't I just paint

Chihiro? That'd be funny. And then someone

offered to buy it for like $200.

And then, yeah, I was, I was packing it.

I was, um, preparing to ship it and then

she came home from work and I couldn't

hide it and she thought I was gonna ship

it to Chihiro for her birthday. Yeah,

because it was Chihiro's birthday and I

did a stream called Happy Birthday Chihiro

and I was painting her. Yeah, that looked

pretty bad. She got upset about that. Oh,

thanks. Sunny gets off on being able to

control you. Do you think she does? She

said she has no interest in controlling

me, but then she keeps doing stuff.

I think she's just— she's trying to

control me to protect herself. She does

everything out of self-protection and

preservation.

So she'll also make a case saying that

quitting YouTube is for my best interests

as well. So she was like, she was like

selling me the idea of quitting YouTube

when we got back together last time. She

was saying, um, oh, you only make £1,000,

you could easily replace that with some

more work. It's not even that much money.

It's ruining your life, it's ruining your

relationships. I mean, she's got a point.

It's not a huge amount of money. But it's

easy. I can't get fired apart—

I mean, I could get banned if I'm not

careful. I'd much rather do YouTube than

work a proper job, and I can combine

YouTube with a part-time job, so it gives

me more flexibility. Yeah, and I can do it

anywhere. That's like an incredible

superpower, to be able to make money

anywhere as long as you've got internet.

Having to work full-time in the area you

live, it chains you down to the area you

live. You can't move freely anymore.

You now have to consider your job and what

job you're gonna get next if you move.

YouTube is great. I just wish I could make

a bit more money out of it. You know, I'm

trying, I'm trying. I'm making video games

on my second channel. Video game videos.

Never give up.

Yeah, I can't hold down a real job anyway.

I think I'm about to get fired from my

current job. I have this feeling that at

any moment I'm about to get let go because

I kind of suck at my job because I don't

do it properly and I get lazy and I don't

follow the rules and then I get in trouble

and I think If I had to choose between

following the rules and not following the

rules and getting fired, I think I'd just

rather get fired. I'd just rather not

follow the rules because the rules are

stupid. The rules are so dumb. Like,

you've got to take a photo every time you

deliver the stupid parcel. What's the

point? I mean, they want a photo of you

handing the parcel to the customer. I used

to do it in the beginning when I first

started. I did it properly. And I was

like, ding dong, wait there for like 10

seconds. I open the door and then I say,

I just got to take a quick photo. And it

just feels so stupid. Like they just want

the parcel. They don't want to stand there

getting their photo taken. Sometimes women

come out and they're like wearing their

underwear and then I got to take a photo

with their legs in it and it just feels

wrong. But the stupid

company wants me to take a photo. With the

customer receiving the parcel, and the

phone sometimes lags. So I'm pressing the

take photo button, and it will say failed,

or it will just delay and lag. And I'm

standing there for like five seconds

trying to take a stupid photo.

I don't understand why they want a photo

so much. So now I just take a photo of the

parcel in front of the door, and then I.

Sometimes knock the door. I usually just

take a photo of the parcel at the door and

then leave it there, although that's not

really what you're supposed to do. But who

cares? The customer got the parcel,

probably.

It's just a lot of these people are old

people and they take forever to get to the

door, or they're disabled. I hate it when

they're disabled and they take forever to

And then they want you to come into the

house and help put the parcel in. I used

to deliver to this one house. The woman

was bedridden and she would just say,

come in. And she's got like a full-blown

hospital bed with, I don't know, you know,

the equipment. So she'll just go, come in.

I'd knock on the door. She'd say, come in,

I'll put the parcel down. I haven't

delivered to her In almost a month.

I wonder if she died. She was very old.

She would— she would order stuff all the

time, and almost every shift I would have—

not every, but maybe every 2 shifts, I

would go into her house to deliver it.

It's been like a month. I haven't had

any deliveries for her house. I kind of

want to look in the window to see if her

bed thing's still there. But if she died,

I'm pretty sure I would know because I go

there every day. So wouldn't the ambulance

and stuff be outside unless she died in

the night?

Very sad.

Maybe she moved, but when she's bedridden

in her bed?

Yeah, it felt kind of weird going into

Didn't really like it. A lot of people's

houses smell really bad as well,

especially if they got dogs.

There's one house I deliver to, every time

they open the door it smells like weed,

and they come out looking stoned.

Like dazed by the sunlight. All the

curtains are shut. They're definitely just

stoned all the time,

just sitting around getting stoned. Got

nothing better to do. What's the point? I

don't see the point just sitting there

getting stoned. They say, oh, it makes me

not think. How is that a good thing?

It makes me just not think about anything.

Become a vegetable.

That's lame. Why would you not want to— I

mean, if you got painful memories, maybe.

When am I leaving Devon? I don't know now.

It's really tough.

Where am I gonna go? How am

I going to get a new place? My income's

not high enough. I don't have an extra 10K

lying around to boost my income to pass

the income check.

What was that noise?

So if I left this place, I don't know how

I'd get another place unless I room shared

and got like a 400 a month room share

thing or go back to my mum's place.

So to get a place like this that costs

£900 a month, they want proof that you

earn £26,000 a year. Do you think Sunny

will come tomorrow? If she does, will you

try to talk to her? BTW, it's Cheyenne

Williams, but I changed me name, mate.

Oh, hi Cheyenne Williams. Um, really doubt

she's coming. She, she never comes

unannounced. She'll always say she's

coming if she's gonna come. Unless she

changes her mind at the very last minute,

then I really doubt it.

I don't really know what there is to talk

about. There's nothing to talk about.

The hell is that noise?

I thought you're supposed to put her stuff

on the pole. Yeah, she messaged me last

night when I was streaming around 9

o'clock. She said she's not gonna come.

She said she wants her last memory of me

to be a happy one, and if we met, it would

be awkward. Yeah, it would be

pretty awkward, I guess.

She said, I want my last memory of you to

be a happy one, not sad and angry and

awkward, which it probably would be if we

You only use 10% of your house.

It's not about using all of the space,

it's about having the space and

not having to share a house with anyone.

I mean, I guess it kind of feels like I've

got roommates because I've got neighbors.

It's just that they don't come into my

house. Well, I don't want to share a

kitchen and a bathroom. It's just weird.

I want to be able to jerk off whenever I

want to and stream and make videos.

I restarted my OnlyFans today. I went on

to OnlyFans. I logged in after not logging

in for a while. And there was $80 in the,

um, in the built-up in the balance.

So someone's been paying my OnlyFans all

this time. So I withdrew that and

I posted some stuff to it, but I haven't

promoted it anywhere. I'm not sure where.

I thought maybe Instagram could reach a

Yeah, so if I room-shared, I just would

not be able to do YouTube because I need

isolation to do YouTube. So then I would

not be able to do YouTube anymore. And

then if I was not gonna do YouTube

anymore, I could have just stayed with

Sunny. So it would have made the whole

thing pointless unless

I stayed at home whilst they went to work.

No, I wouldn't be able to room share. I

just— I can't do it.

So I need a house, I need a driveway, I

need peace and quiet. I really like this

place because it's got all those things

and it's really peaceful.

So yeah, I would need— I think they said I

needed $26,000 in either income or

savings. And they said I can combine my

income with savings to prove I have

enough. So either I've got to prove that I

made 26,000 in a year, which is not going

Well, how much do you think I could make?

900 plus 1,100, maybe 2,000.

Maybe I can make like 20, 22, 21,000.

Then I would just need 5k in savings to

top it up. I think it's doable. I'm just

thinking in case, I don't know, I get

kicked out or the guy raises the rent or I

don't know, some reason I've got to move

out. I just, I want to know or feel like I

could get another place. And I guess he

would have to give me notice so I would be

able to look for a new place whilst still

being here.

I just really don't want to have to go

back to my mum or ask my mum to borrow

So my number one priority is, after— as

well as paying off the debt, is to like

build up an emergency fund in case

that happens. I mean, I do have an

emergency fund. It's in the stock market.

It's just that I was gonna use that to pay

off the Amazon credit card. So I'm

just like planning a safety net.

Yeah, my gold stock went down with the

whole market. I mean, everything did apart

from bonds.

And who knows how long until it all goes

back up again. Hopefully I don't need the

money anytime soon.

Am I filming new content for OnlyFans?

No, for now I'm just, um, I've been

Googling myself to find leaks. There's

like a gay forum that leaked my stuff and

they were saying how nice my dick was, so

I just went on there and I downloaded it

and then put it back on my OnlyFans.

So I'm just looking for leaks because I

lost all my stuff. Maybe the subreddit has

some leaks. Yeah, Kiwi Farms probably

has some leaks, but I can't seem to find

it. Yeah, the forum's

called something like LSGP. I don't know,

LGSP. It's like a gay forum.

That could be a good way to advertise it.

Go onto gay forums and say, hey, I found

this guy, he's really hot.

Gotta target the gays. Marketing strategy.

It costs nothing to pull out phone and

take pictures. I can't be bothered.

Also, my pubes look greyer than they did

before. I've gotta dye my pubes.

Also, I've gotta shave my butt, and I

can't be bothered. My bum is so hairy,

and then if you shave it, it goes all

prickly like a cactus, and I keep

scratching it. But it looks kind of bad

when I don't shave it. The gay guys don't

like how hairy my bum is. I don't know why

my bum's so hairy.

Trim it? Mm, maybe that

would make it less visible. Also,

I wouldn't really want to take any

pictures with my 50-megapixel phone

camera, so I'm waiting for my S10+ because

that camera is lower resolution. And it's

got skin filter.

Yeah, so don't

know if people are going to come back to

the OnlyFans if I don't promote it,

because there's still 4 people subscribed

And I don't think YouTube lets you link

adult content anymore, so I'm not gonna

risk it and link it on my channel. I'm not

sure if Instagram allows it. I, I notice a

lot of girls, what they do is They, they

put a link to some link website where it's

got a list of their links. Linktree or

something like that. Maybe I'll do that.

Yeah, I could probably post it on Discord.

And, uh, maybe I'll get some outfits.

Girl panties. I'll set— I'll make like an

OnlyFans studio in my other bedroom.

It's so funny that one of Sunny's first

messages to me when I was in Japan was,

we could make OnlyFans together. Yeah,

okay, sure you would. You don't even

want to come on camera because you're

scared people are saying you look fat.

How are you thinking you're going to be

naked on camera getting banged?

Yeah, as if she would be able to do that.

Why did she say this? There's no way I

would even entertain the idea of doing

OnlyFans with her because I know she

wouldn't be able to handle the heat

because it will leak and then the

subreddit people are gonna be like, oh,

she's so fat, or whatever. Oh, she looks

weird. And then she'd get all upset,

wouldn't she? And then she'd be like,

Daniel, delete everything. Yeah, well, I

told you, unless you have a perfect

body, people are going to criticize you.

How many of us here have perfect bodies?

Probably none, I'm guessing.

Otherwise you'd be like, a celebrity

fashion model not watching my boring

stream on a Sunday. Yeah,

the stuff Sunny said in the beginning was

so nice, and I thought, wow,

she's so cool. She wants to stream, she's

up to do OnlyFans. She doesn't mind me

showing her face on camera. She interacts

with the viewers. I thought she was great.

And then all that went down the toilet

because people didn't like her.

Did anyone like her? I kept trying to tell

her, not everyone hates you. A lot of

people do like you. Maybe we do a poll.

I bet she'd love that.

Do you like Sunny?

Imagine if I did this when we were

together. She'd be so mad.

We should do a poll. Who do you like the

most? Sunny, Blood Bucket, Faster?

Now we can't add Chihiro because that's

not fair. Everyone would choose Chihiro.

Sunny watching this poll. Oh my God,

70%. 70% said

no. I kept trying to tell her, not

everyone hates you. Who do you hate more,

me or Sunny? Should I do a do you

like me poll? Because I did that before

when my channel was popular. I got about

50%. I made a video about it.

70%. Oh my God.

Who else should we do? Do you like Mila?

Popularity content.

The first video, she seemed fun.

Yeah, she was really cool in the first

stream. She was like, hey,

I'm Sunny, I teach English, I watch

Daniel's channel.

I don't really know why people turn

against her. On the second stream, the

Hanami one, I felt like she was starting

to get the mean comments already.

I noticed she got all quiet, um,

when we did the Hanami stream. I remember

walking down that road alongside the lake,

and I thought, this is weird, she's not

talking at all. I felt really awkward,

and then it turned out she was getting

really upset about the homewrecker

And then we kept doing that friendship

challenge joke, and We're on a date, it's

not a date thing. I don't think people

found that very funny.

Yeah, she's a very strange person.

Very contradictory.

Well, a lot of people have been

homewreckers. Like Pia. What about Pia?

Pia was a massive homewrecker. No one

called Pia a homewrecker. People bullied

Pia about what? Because Pia got a lot of

bullying, but for some reason she stuck

around. Like, Pia is on my Discord still

and chats to people. I'm surprised

sometimes, you know, I'm surprised that

Pia got bullied so much and then she

didn't disappear and she still sticks

around and engages with everyone. What

does that mean? But people don't bully Pia

Pia literally ruined my marriage. Pia was

the first girl that I slept with as soon

as Chihiro went back to Japan.

And then I was gonna sneak Pia into Japan

when I was married. That's why I booked

that Airbnb. But she didn't even have a

passport. And then the texts got leaked,

and then Chihiro found out. That's why I

got stuck at that Airbnb for nearly— I

don't know, several weeks.

Yeah, I'm a bit— I

regret a bit that I didn't dramatize the

whole thing when she came to my house

because I was in my phase of I've changed.

I'm not doing drama content anymore. I'm a

new man. So I was trying to not do drama.

That's why I didn't film it or anything.

I should have taken advantage. After I

broke up with Mida, I was on this

spiritual path of redemption.

Yeah, it is weird how unpopular Sunny was.

Do you think she's disliked in real life

as well? I don't think she is.

I think people do like her in real life.

I don't know why you guys don't like her,

cuz she's fake.

Is it because she says stuff that she

doesn't mean? I don't know what you mean

by fake.

Yeah, she— it was a bit like she had a

mask on.

She's very clever with language. Yeah,

she does do the whole lying thing very

well. Like the corporate speak.

I remember when we were at the Airbnb when

I just got here and we were looking for

places for me to live, she volunteered to

phone up the estate agents for me and then

she would say this big fake story like,

hello, I'm calling on behalf of Daniel

Lord. Is the property still available? Oh

yes, he, he works as a stockbroker for a

hedge fund company. And I was just sitting

there going, oh my God, just tell them I'm

a delivery driver. Why are you telling

them I'm a stockbroker? They're gonna

think we're just taking the piss. Yeah,

I'm calling on behalf of Daniel Lord,

famous hedge fund multimillionaire stock

market futures trader. It was

so embarrassing. Because it sounded so

unbelievable. Oh, stock trader. Why is he

looking for places that cost £800 a month?

But she does the whole, I don't know,

fake lying speech

stuff very well.

The problem is she does that to me as

well. The whole fake thing.

Like, she'll say one thing, but she

doesn't mean it. So she'll say, oh, it's

okay if you don't want to pick me up.

I'll be okay with it. I'm completely fine.

And then I say— and then I ignore her and

I say, I'm not coming. And then she

literally rages. Or she says, it's okay if

you need time alone, just tell me, okay?

And I say, yeah, I'm not very chatty

today. Tonight. And then she goes, well,

I don't want to come tomorrow anymore.

And then she gets all mad. So she'll say

something that she doesn't mean, like,

oh, I don't mind if you make video game

videos on your second channel. She never

means anything she says. It's really

annoying. And then she gets angry at me.

I don't know why she does that. It's like

she just can't not say what she really

means. She always says what she doesn't

mean, and then she expects you to

understand what she wants,

and then she'll rage at me.

Oh, well, I thought you would have the

fucking intelligence to know that I

wouldn't be happy with it like that.

She turns into this— I don't know. Angry

person.

It's really weird.

I kept saying, just tell me directly what

you want because it's so annoying.

If you just told me, then we wouldn't have

these arguments, would we?

But she even said her sister also says

that she is a bad communicator.

So at least she admits it, unlike my mum.

My mum triggers me because she never

admits anything. She'll just get defensive

and be like, well, I gave you money.

I've looked after you your whole life.

That doesn't invalidate what I'm saying.

Like,

my mom would never admit any flaws or

anything. It's really irritating.

I went to the dump today.

My rubbish got inspected, was a bit

annoying. I don't really want people

looking in my rubbish. It's a bit, you

know, it's my private stuff. What if there

were cum rags in it? They were like, oh,

can I have a quick look? And then they

check what's in your rubbish. Don't like

Maybe I can go at night. No, I think they

shut the gates at night.

I took loads of cardboard to the dump.

Imagine I get a love doll and I chop it

up, put it in a plastic bag, and I dump it

there and they look through it.

Yeah, I went to dump and then I drove

home. 20-minute nice drive.

Nice weather.

I really like the drive to the dump.

You go through like a wooded mountain and

then you go over this river, and then on

the way back to my house it's like a big

long straight line through farmers fields

and you can do like 80 miles per hour.

Not that I do, just saying some people do.

It's just wide open, nice straight road.

Nice views of the valleys and stuff.

Really nice driving here. No police.

But then you get to the town bit on the

way. Every time I come home, I do my last

delivery and I have to go through the town

to get home. And it's so annoying because

there's so many old people trying to cross

the street. And they just walk out into

the street. There's like

4 roundabouts you gotta go through with

zebra crossings everywhere and

other crossings which aren't zebra

crossings, but they treat it like it's a

zebra crossing, so they just walk into the

road. I hate that bit. And then

every time I exit the town, I drive past

the restaurant that me and Sunny went to

on my birthday. That was a

really nice evening, I have to say. We

went to a nice restaurant, my birthday,

got good food,

came home, watched some Handmaid's Tale.

It was a great day. I just had

it all, didn't I? At one point I was able

to do YouTube, I had my delivery job, I

had a girlfriend. We hung out. It just

felt like I had everything I wanted in

life, and then I had to pick and

lose one of those things.

It's so hard getting everything, isn't it?

All I want is I want to do some part-time

work, and then I want to do my YouTube

thing, and then I want to have a

girlfriend where we hang out and And eat

food and go places and have sex and

cuddle. And I wake up and I do my delivery

job, and then I come home and do my

trading, my YouTube. That's like my

perfect life. It's so

hard to get all those things. I either get

the girlfriend, but then I've got to

sacrifice the YouTube, or I get the

YouTube, but then I can't get a

girlfriend.

You want to do YouTube? Your content

sucks. Yeah, I mean, I like doing YouTube.

I like streaming,

although sometimes it does get a bit

boring if I've got nothing going on,

nothing to talk about.

Nothing exciting. Fast to let you do

YouTube. Yeah, but the sex was really bad.

I wasn't satisfied with the sex life.

And also I wanted to do something else,

not just YouTube. I do want to work. I

just don't want to work full-time. I like

variety. So in Thailand, I was

only able to do YouTube and I was getting

sick and tired of it and I wanted to

do something else alongside YouTube and

I can't do anything else in Thailand. I

can't get a job in Thailand, can I? I

wouldn't want to. The pay would be

rubbish. I don't speak Thai.

What was wrong with Zero with Fasta? I

don't know. It's just her body didn't turn

me on at all.

Just the shape of her body, I guess,

didn't do anything for me.

No, she wasn't fat. She was really skinny,

and she would scream when she, she

C-U-M'd, which was a bit weird.

I didn't like that. Sounded like I was

murdering her or something.

Yeah, I never heard a woman scream when

orgasming before.

Who does that? Didn't like

it. It was a really big turn-off.

It's a shallow reason. Well,

if you can't get it up, you can't get it

It was a real shame. 'Cause I thought

her body looked fine. Like, when we went

out, I wasn't embarrassed of her body or

anything. Like, if I dated a massive fat,

really fat woman, I'd be embarrassed going

outside. So I wasn't embarrassed with

Vasta. Her body looked fine. It's just it

didn't turn me on. I don't know if it's

'cause of her face. Like, what if

her face was replaced with a really

beautiful face? Would it change? How

turned on I get. Maybe I just wasn't

turned on. Maybe I just wasn't attracted

to her face, and that was why. Do you

think you can not be attracted to the face

but be attracted to the body?

She had a smushed nose. Yeah, Pharsa's

nose was a bit weird. Like, it was

very— like,

you know, the nostril bits. Hers were very

wide.

From the side profile, it looked fine,

but from the front, her nose was very

wide. That's the reason why I don't really

like Thai girls is because they got very

wide noses. I'm not really into the wide

I don't really like my nose. It's kind of

wide. My mum's nose is very wide as well,

which is why mine is— mine is like in

between my mum's and my dad's. My dad had

a very typical white man's nose, but

mine's not like that. It's more like my

Yeah, I think Thai women, a lot of them

got weird noses.

Unless it's Chinese Thai, then they

basically just look like a Chinese person.

But Farsa was half Chinese, half Thai,

but she, she inherited a lot of the Thai

features. She didn't get the dark skin,

but she got like the wide nose. Her eyes

and lips were fine. Her teeth were really

good. Faster's teeth were really good,

like very straight, not a single

crooked tooth, and not all yellow.

Chihiro also had really good teeth.

Sunny's teeth were good as well,

actually. The thing I noticed is all my

exes, they all got really good teeth.

Sunny's teeth were like long,

like fangs almost. Amelia's teeth

were a little bit yellow, but also

very straight.

Yeah, I've never been with a girl who's

got really bad teeth.

I always thought Vasta's teeth were really

nice. I don't like my teeth. They look

crooked at the bottom.

The upper row is fine,

but the bottom 2 teeth look crooked.

I don't think I could date a girl who's

got really bad teeth, like those Japanese

teeth. It would freak me out.

Have I ever smoked? Well, a cigarette, I

have tried it, but I don't Usually smoke.

I didn't like it. You just puff

it in and then smoke goes in your mouth

and then you cough. I feel like, what's

the point? Seems pointless.

You need to be thinking about how to stack

more money. What about OnlyFans?

Join my OnlyFans, guys.

I can't link it though. I might get in

Didn't you vape? Um, yeah, just because it

looks funny on stream. I didn't do it off

stream. And that was just— I didn't

inhale it. I just sucked it and puffed it

around. And then blew it out.

And I've been playing Monster Hunter

Wilds. Gonna spam out some videos about

it. It's quite fun, I guess. You run

around, kill monsters, make armor. You can

do cooking in it as well. I think the

cooking system is quite cool because you

can choose the ingredients and make your

own meal, and then she actually puts the

ingredients in the pan and cooks it.

You can actually see the ingredients going

into the pan, so that's pretty cool. Kind

of like the Zelda Breath of the Wild

cooking.

I really need a better computer. All these

modern games are just lagging so much.

I would love to get a desktop,

maybe £2,000 budget.

What kind of specs could I get?

RTX 4 Series.

I've got everything else, I've got the

monitor, I've got the keyboard, mouse.

Maybe I get it on finance, it's a business

investment.

I just want to be able to play modern

games and screen record it and it doesn't

lag. My laptop, I don't know,

if you fiddle with the settings And I play

it on the laptop screen, not on the

monitor screen. It's like the monitor uses

a lot of VRAM, I think, and I don't think

my laptop graphics card has enough VRAM.

It's only got 6GB of VRAM and I max it out

really easily. So I've got to play the

games on my laptop screen, put everything

to low, and also having Bandicam open

lags it. If I don't have Bandicam open,

it's not as laggy.

I really want a new computer. This

laptop's just— use

OBS.

Wouldn't that lag it too?

I mean, I guess I could. It's just I'm so

used to using Bandicam. I like Bandicam's

interface. I don't really like Streamlabs'

interface.

Yeah, I got really pissed. I was getting

more and more pissed thinking how Sunny

just— Sunny was a viewer and then she just

came out of nowhere and then she shut down

my channel. The hell?

Even the subredditors couldn't dream of

doing that. That's like the subredditors'

wet dream. Sometimes I thought, is Sunny

actually like a secret subredditor who

came into my life with the goal to shut me

down? And she nearly did what the haters

could never do.

Sometimes when she was saying I should

delete my channel, I kept thinking, are

you sent from the Reddit? The hell?

Did the devil send you into my life to

ruin it or something?

Who does that? Like, imagine Victoria

Beckham goes and marries David Beckham,

tells him to quit football and says, you

gotta amputate your feet, you'll never be

able to play football again, but it's for

the best, Dave.

If Reddit doesn't want you to delete your

channel, you're very mistaken about Sonny.

Yeah, but sometimes it feels like that.

Yeah, I don't actually think that's true.

It's just a crazy theory. And I do

believe Sunny just wanted us to have a

peaceful relationship without trolls and

stuff ruining it. But they didn't ruin the

relationship, she did.

The trolls didn't ruin our relationship,

Sunny ruined it. By not having control of

her emotions, getting upset over

everything. Chihiro got— imagine

being Chihiro, your husband on YouTube

insulting you, cheating. Chihiro didn't

say, oh, quit YouTube.

Chihiro had balls of steel.

And people said all kinds of stuff when I

was married, like, oh, He's like your son.

Are you his mother?

She just laughed it off and had a sense of

humor about it. That's why people like

Chihiro, because she, she didn't take it

all personally. She didn't demand that I

stop doing YouTube.

Like, Chihiro could have easily said, oh,

you got to stop doing YouTube or else.

We're getting divorced and you're gonna