[2018-04-09] I'm a jealous and insecure person [nIL37luRcJw]

I get jealous really, really easily over

tiny little things that wouldn't make a

normal person jealous. And I also have a

very active imagination, and these 2

things don't make for a great combination.

What do I get jealous about? I get jealous

over tiny little things. For example, if I

see my girlfriend or my partner's phone

and I see they have a notification from

some guy, some guy sending them a message,

I start getting very suspicious. I start

thinking to myself, who's this guy? Why is

he sending my girlfriend a message? Why?

Why? I start thinking to myself, how come?

Why can't— why can't I see the message

contents on the lock screen? How come she

has a notification saying she has a new

message? But she's hidden— she's hidden

the message contents from appearing on the

lock screen. I used to have this French

girlfriend about 7 years ago. I met her at

the guest house in Japan, and she

had a lot of friends, a lot of male

friends. She was very close and physical

with her male friends, and I used to get

extremely jealous about this. I didn't

like it when the other guys touched her.

There used to be this American, this Black

American guy. He used to give her massages

and tickle her. And sometimes he would try

to come into her room to give her a

massage. She told me about this once and I

said, why did you let him into your room

in the first place? You should have

stopped him from coming into your room.

And she said, he's my friend. I can do

what I want. This French girlfriend also

used to get a lot of messages from the

guys at the guesthouse and other guys.

And she was always very secretive with her

phone. Every time I tried to look at her

phone, she would quickly hide it away.

She would always take her phone to the

toilet with her. She would never let me

see her phone or even touch her phone. I

started to get very suspicious about it.

I really wanted to find out what she was

talking about to this, this guy at the

guesthouse. So one day when she was out,

I snuck into her room. She used to leave

the door unlocked, so I just went into her

room, opened up her laptop, and I opened

up her Facebook and I checked her

messages. She was talking to this Spanish

guy who also lived at guest house, and I

checked all of their messages, and I

couldn't find any signs that they were

cheating or that she was cheating on me.

It was just mostly her complaining about

me to him. She was saying things like, I

had another argument with Daniel today. I

don't know what to do about Daniel.

Things aren't going well with Daniel.

Sometimes she would go to a friend's room

in the guest house, and then she wouldn't

come back for hours. And then when she

finally came back to our room, I would ask

her, where were you? And she would say, I

was in my friend's room. And I would say,

what were you doing in your friend's room?

She said, we were just talking. And then

before I could get angry or before I could

start another argument, she would get

naked and then get into the bed. One

morning we woke up in the morning and I

saw her phone vibrating. She got a new

message from the Spanish guy. And I

quickly grabbed the phone to try and see

what the message said. And she quickly

grabbed the phone as well. And we were

kind of fighting, grappling, wrestling for

the phone. And I just, I kind of flipped.

I lost it. I said, if you don't show me

this message, I'm going to chuck your

phone out of the fucking window. And I

couldn't believe I said that. I'm not an

aggressive or violent person, but I just,

I couldn't control myself anymore. And we

wrestled for the phone for several minutes

and her nails, her fingernails were very

long. She accidentally scratched my neck

and I gave up. I stopped trying to grab

her phone and she stopped trying to grab

it from me. And I said, I think it'd be

best if we break up. And I went back to my

room. She followed me with some tissue

paper and she tried to clean the blood off

my neck. And then she started

crying. I still wanted to break

up with her because I couldn't handle all

of this, all of these jealous emotions

anymore. It was driving me crazy slowly.

And even, even though I wanted to break

up, after we broke up, she still kept

coming to my room. She kept banging on my

door and she wouldn't stop banging on my

door until I opened it. And then she would

drag me out of my room back to her room to

sleep with me. And then this continued for

about 2 weeks. And 2 weeks after we broke

up, we were still sleeping together for

about 2 weeks. I hated the way she made me

feel like I was invisible outside of the

bedroom. She never spent any time with me.

She never paid any attention to me. She

was always with her friends. I felt like

her friends were more important than me.

I saw other couples in the guesthouse and

they always— they were always together.

They ate together, they spent time

together, and she would just treat

me like I wasn't there, like I didn't

exist. There was one time we had this

Christmas party and I felt so depressed

and alone. She was just laughing and

having a good time with her friends.

There was this Japanese guy who got really

drunk and he started vomiting. And then

she just— she was hovering around him and

fussing over him the whole time. And I was

just sitting in the corner of the room by

myself, getting more and more angry. I

said, do I need to get drunk and vomit in

front of you for you to pay any attention

to me? She said, Daniel, I spend all night

with you. I want to spend the day with my

friends. I think the main reason why I

lost interest in dating younger girls is

because Younger people tend to have more

of an active social life, and as people

get older, they have less of an active

social life. They have fewer friends. And

I didn't want a girlfriend who had loads

of friends and was always going to parties

and social events. I didn't want to have a

girlfriend who was so busy clubbing and

going out that she didn't have any time to

spend with me. I wanted, I wanted her to

focus all of her attention on me. I didn't

want to have to compete with her friends

or her social life. I think that in

general, as women get older, They start to

focus less on socializing and friends,

and they start to focus more on

relationships and family. And I think

that's one of the main reasons why I

started to prefer dating older women. The

reason why I was so obsessed about the

Australian guy was because I just felt

really jealous. I felt jealous about the

fact that he was naturally able to do

things that satisfied her without her

having to ask him to do them. And I don't

mind doing those things as well, it's just

that that's not what I'm like in bed.

Doing those things doesn't come natural to

me, and I just felt really jealous because

it seemed like he was more of a compatible

sex partner than I am. I know this

sounds really strange, but even though I

felt jealous about the Australian guy,

the idea of my wife cheating on me, or the

idea of the sex being better with the

Australian guy, kind of turns me on.

Obviously, I don't want my wife to cheat

on me. That'll just make me really upset.

But the reason why I kept asking her for

detailed explanations of what the sex was

like was because, honestly speaking, it

gave me an erection. I bought

this grill on Amazon a few days ago and it

arrived yesterday. My wife said she wanted

a grill like this so we can do

yakiniku-style grilling on the table when

we have dinner, and I said, okay, I'll buy

one on Amazon. So I decided to buy this

one because it says smokeless yakiniku

grill. It's smokeless because it has these

holes, so you grill the meat in the middle

and then the fat runs down these grooves

into the holes, and then it collects under

underneath the grill plate and the fat

doesn't drip onto the fire, so there's

supposed to be no smoke. You get this

little hook thing that goes on the grill

and you can lift it up and then the fat

just gathers in this trench.

I don't know what it's called, like a

space for the fat.

When I bought it, I didn't realize it was

a gas grill. All right, there we go. So if

you open this bit The gas can goes in

here, and I didn't buy a gas can with

this, so I had to go to the supermarket

and I bought that gas can.

And you just, you slot it in and it clicks

in place with this magnet, and then you

switch this on and it ignites,

ignites the gas. My wife said you're

supposed to take the can out when you're

not using the grill, otherwise it's

dangerous. I didn't know, I thought you're

supposed to just leave it in there

forever. So yeah, we're going to try this

out for tonight's dinner. We're going to

buy some pork and I'll let you know what

it's like afterwards. So I

have the new grill set up on the table and

we have lettuce, kimchi, pork.

This is the pork we're going to have

today. And, um,

spring onions, lettuce,

kimchi, and the

Hey, so I finished using the stove and I

wanted to tell you what it's like. Um,

it's pretty good. It heats up really

quickly because it's gas-powered, not

electric-powered, and food

cooks really quickly on it. My only

complaint is it's not really smokeless

because we cooked pork on it yesterday and

there was a lot of fat and there was a lot

of smoke. We had to open the door to air

out the room because the room was just

filling up with smoke from the pork fat.

Also, there was a lot of fat spraying

everywhere. The entire table had to be

wiped down because it was just— it was

sprayed with fat, and the whole grill

machine was all oily. It really depends on

what you're cooking. If you're cooking

something that isn't really fatty, then

you won't have any problems with spraying

fat or smoke coming out. It's just that

yesterday we were cooking really fatty

pork and there was a lot of fat. So apart

from that, I think it's a pretty good

device, a pretty good grill. I give it a 7

out of 10. It cost about $60,

which is quite cheap, I think. So, um,

yeah, I'm pretty happy with this. I think

it's a good purchase.