How to make Pizza Toast

Mrs. Mimo, hello.

Why is she so noisy?

Mimo, why are you making that weird sound?

What is that sound?

Come back.

Meow, meow, meow. Hmm, I'm not sure what's

wrong with my cat, but today we're going

to be making toasted pizzas using

bread, a tomato, bacon, and grated cheese.

Cheddar. Okay,

so the first thing you want to do is get

your scissors. I got some new scissors.

Hopefully they are pretty good at cutting

things. It's my first time using them. So

first of all, we want to cut the bread

into circles because you don't have square

pizza, do you? So cut these corners off so

it's a bit round, a bit rounded.

And if you lose some bread, you know,

it's okay. There's plenty more bread where

it came from. Get rid of the crusts as

well. I don't think we need crusts. Pizza

doesn't usually have crusts.

So just cut the corners off.

Okay, that should be good enough. Take the

crusts and get rid of them.

So the first step when making a pizza is

you want to have layers, so you have the

tomato layer and then the cheese layer,

and then on top of that you have other

toppings like meat. So get rid of this

black bit on the tomato.

That's gross. Okay,

so the trick is we want to get rid of the

wet mushy bit that's in the middle,

because if we don't, then it'll make the

bread all soggy. So, um, yeah, cut the

tomato in half

and then get out that middle bit with

all the seeds and the liquid.

That's, that's the disgusting bit. Get rid

of the juice as well.

I'm not getting any tomato seeds inside of

me. The tomato thinks it can impregnate

me. You see, this is the weird thing about

fruit. You know why the fruit has seeds in

it, don't you? They're trying to

impregnate us, trying to trick us into

helping them spread their seed around.

I'm not falling for that. You know,

fruits, they think they're so clever.

They make a juicy, delicious piece of

fruit that we want to eat, and then they

put loads of seeds in it, trying to get us

to do their dirty work. Not me. I take the

seeds out. You see, um, things like apples

with the pips in the middle? I'm not

eating that. Get someone else to do your

dirty work. I just want the sweet flesh.

From the apple. Same thing with

strawberries and kiwi. You see all those

seeds on the outside and the inside?

Those plants, they think they're so clever

getting us to work for

them. But not me. I take the seeds out,

put them straight into the bin where they

belong. Okay, we're nearly finished with

the tomato. Really, you would

prefer to have— it'd be better to have

tomato puree. I don't think we have any.

This will do because when it starts

cooking, it'll go soft and it'll basically

turn into puree all by itself.

Actually, I found some tomato and basil

pasta sauce, so I might just put some of

that on. Okay, so put on the tomato and

basil sauce just

so it fills the gaps in between the chunks

of tomato. Too much tomato is never really

a bad thing because tomato is very good

for you. It's full of antioxidants and

vitamins, and even when it's in sauce

form, even ketchup, still good for

you. Still tomato.

Okay, that should be enough.

Next step is very

important. Now we want to take

our cheese. From the cheese bag

and then just sprinkle a thick layer on

top.

And then finally, you take your bacon.

I can never open packages using these

little tabs. They're too short. I can't

grip onto it. Wow, these scissors

are good. Did you see how easily I cut

into it? See, this is proper bacon, not

like that rubbish bacon I had yesterday,

which was weird tasting. Fresh bacon

should look like this. Look at that,

that is a beautiful piece of bacon. So we

take our scissors and we just want to snip

off slices of it

onto the top.

See, easy peasy. And then just rearrange

it so it looks beautiful.

And then we can sprinkle some basil onto

the top to make it more pizzery.

And that's it really. We need to put it

straight into the oven.

I feel a bit worried about the, the

you-know-what. I actually have a bit of a

cough. I've been coughing since yesterday.

Not, not a really bad cough. It's a bit of

a dry cough, but I definitely do have a

cough. So I've been using this alcoholic

hand gel that I bought last year after my

dad passed away. I got a bit worried about

the flu back then as well, so I got a few

tubs of these hand

gel things. It says— it says it's

effective against bacteria and viruses.

So I started cleaning down the surfaces

and the door handles and things like the

taps with the hand gel because my mum

won't wash her hands. She keeps saying,

oh, there's no point washing my hands,

using hand sanitizer. If I get it, then I

get it. Yeah, well, if you get it, then I

might also get it. So, and she

keeps nagging me about cleaning, cleaning

the house. She keeps saying, Daniel, can

you help me? Please help me tidy the

house. When I do tidy the house— I did the

vacuuming, I tidied up the cat food

plates, I tidied up the counter, which was

a complete mess. It's always a complete

mess every single day. All of these jars

and bottles are scattered everywhere, and

there's coffee granules and sugar granules

all over the counter that I have to tidy

up, and it's not me that's doing that. I

also washed the dishes and tidied up this

sink area, so I don't understand why she

keeps moaning at me for not cleaning when

I do clean and I do tidy up. So

irritating. Sometimes I wish I stayed in

Korea. I feel like I've just escaped one

nagging woman in Japan constantly nagging

me because I was on Discord chatting to

people too much, or I livestreamed for too

much, or Oh, sorry, I was just doing my

job. You know, livestreaming is kind of

part of what I do to make a living. I

don't know why she was nagging me about

doing 8-hour-long livestreams. It's pretty

much the same as her sitting in a call

center for 8 hours talking to strangers

selling products. I sit in my bedroom for

8 hours plus talking to strangers on

YouTube. It's pretty much the same thing.

But she would come home after work and

then start having a go at me because I

livestreamed for 8 hours straight. So I

just escaped one nagging Asian woman in

Japan, and I came back home to another

nagging Asian woman, didn't I? I should

have just stayed in Korea with the

you-know-what. At least no one nagged me

there. I feel like— I feel like I'm

constantly surrounded by people nagging

me. Either my dad nagging me because I

just left a coffee cup lying around, or

ex-girlfriends, my wife, my mum, even my

sister would nag me because I used to

leave a bowl on the kitchen counter.

Why do people like to nag me so much?

Even my YouTube audience are constantly

nagging me about getting a job and

changing my clothing and washing

myself. I don't understand why people are

so obsessed with nagging me. I don't nag

anyone. I don't think I've ever nagged

anyone for anything. If they're messy,

then I don't really care as long as it

doesn't disturb me. My dream in life is

just to one day be able to live in peace

and quiet without being nagged. Is that so

much to ask for? I just want to live a

peaceful life with no bloody nagging.

Okay, so it should be finished. Let's have

a look at what we've created.

Whoa, it's really hot. The thing I hate

about the oven is when you open the door

You can't get close to it because it's so

hot and it blows out the heat right into

Oh, it's looking good! Wow,

those are some pretty pizzas.

Trying to zoom in. I want to get some new

oven trays because these look disgusting.

Look, there's all this Black stuff caked

onto it. You can't scrub it off either.

Do do do do. One pizza for me,

and one for you,

and one for me.

Need to get a good thumbnail. How should I

make the thumbnail? How about this?

Okay, let's give the pizza a try.

Main problem is the bread is a bit,

bit hard, isn't it?

The bread got a bit roasted,

over-roasted. Oh, look at that tomato,

it's just Got squashed.

Okay,

the bread is a bit overcooked,

maybe. Okay, I'm going in for

a bite.

Hmm.

Hmm,

well, it's not bad. I mean,

the flavor is okay, it tastes good, but

the texture— the bread is just way too

hard around the edges. It's just, it's too

brittle. It's like biting into a biscuit.

As you start chewing it, it does start to

taste better, but the initial bite and the

first contact into your mouth is just not

very— not too great.

Hmm, it's okay. I'd give

it a 5 out of 10.

I think the problem is the bread.

Ideally, you want a burger bun,

or you want to cook the bread for less

time.

But it's not bad, I guess. It's okay,

it's edible.

Just making me very thirsty.

I actually ordered one of those halogen

ovens. It's like a glass bowl and

it uses a halogen light bulb to cook

the food. Seems quite interesting. That

way, if my mum complains about the oven

being dirty, I can say I didn't even use

it, I'm using my halogen light bulb.

Oven. If you make the mess, you clean it

up, not my mess.

Sometimes I wonder if I made the right

decision coming back home. I feel kind of

sad because, um,

none of the people I met in Korea, none of

the girls, none of them messaged me. It's

been a week now, and even out of the 5

or so girls that I met, not even one

messaged me. All of the matches I got on

Tinder as well, I got about 30 matches,

got quite a lot of matches. I tried

talking to most of them, and I was talking

to a few of them quite regularly. None of

them messaged me.

Feels kind of sad. Well,

I guess leaving wasn't really a mistake

then if no one even cares that I left.

They don't even know that I left. One— I

told one of them that I was going back to

England, you know, the The girl that I met

twice and she was in one of my videos,

the one that I put the love heart over her

face. I was talking to her quite often and

we were supposed to meet up a third time,

but then she just cancelled saying that

she was too tired. I told her I was going

home and then after that she

hasn't messaged me or anything. Just goes

to show, really, people don't care about

you, don't they?

No one cares about

your existence.

They pretend like they do. They'll say,

oh yeah, we'll be friends, we'll meet up

and hang out. Really, they couldn't care

less about you.

One minute they say, I'll introduce you to

my friend, we can hang out again. Contact

you later, and then an hour later they've

unmatched you. People are so two-faced.

I really wonder why that Japanese girl

unmatched me on Tinder. I thought we

had a pretty good date. I thought I did

pretty well making conversation.

I guess she wasn't impressed.

It's just kind of annoying, actually. She

kept asking people where things were in

the shopping center. There's a map, just

look at the map. It was like she's trying

to show off her language skills.

I find people who like to show off their

language skills kind of annoying. I met

this other Korean girl. I think it was the

first week I arrived in Korea. There was

this Korean girl who watches my channel.

Well, she doesn't really watch my channel.

She said she watched about 2 videos and

she asked me if I wanted to hang out and I

said yes. And then she kept switching

between different languages. First she

started talking to me in English and then

she started talking to me in Korean. And

then she starts talking to me in Japanese,

and it was like she wanted to show off how

good she was at all the languages. It was

just annoying. Just speak in English, for

Christ's sake. I'm not Japanese, I'm not

Korean, I'm English.

I don't know why, but I get irritated.

And people try and show off how good they

are at languages all the time. Yeah,

well, well done, you can speak a second

language, good for you.

Anyway, that Japanese girl that I met, I

think it was, it was 2 days before I left

Korea. I had one last date, so I thought,

well, my last date, hopefully it goes

well, then maybe I'll cancel my flight

ticket if it does go well. I was actually

thinking of canceling my flight ticket

because I thought it went really well. At

least she made it easy for me by

unmatching me.

She was annoying because— I

found her annoying because I was talking

to her about the Galaxy Fold. I said,

have you seen the Galaxy Fold flip phone

thing? And then I

asked her if she wants to go to a shop and

have a look, and she said yes, but we

couldn't find a Samsung shop or a phone

shop even when we looked at the map. And

then she kept nagging me, saying that I

should ask someone. You know what I'm

like, I don't like asking strangers

things. I don't like talking to strangers,

and And she dragged me into this phone

case shop, and then she kept saying, why

don't you ask? Come on, just ask them.

Come on, ask them. We're here, you might

as well ask them. And I kept saying no,

and eventually she asked for me. It was so

embarrassing. I said, look, I can just

look on Google Maps to look for a Samsung

shop. I don't really care that much.

Maybe she thought I was a loser because I

didn't want to ask a stranger for

directions. I don't know why she

was so insistent. I said no, I don't want

to ask this person in a shop where a

Samsung shop is. I don't care that much.

She kept going on and on about it.

I don't like it when people keep trying to

push me to do something I don't want to

do. Asking strangers for directions is

something I absolutely hate.

I've got internet. Why would I ask someone

for directions when I just open Google

Maps and then look up where I want to go?

I think it's like a woman thing, isn't it?

They're so obsessed with asking people for

directions, even when it's a lot easier

and a lot more efficient to just open

Google Maps. I don't understand women

sometimes. It's like they make no logical

sense. Anyway, I guess I should stop

complaining about women, otherwise people

are going to start calling me misogynist

again. It's like you can't complain about

women about anything without someone

accusing you of being a misogynist,

but it's perfectly okay for people to

complain about men, isn't it?

Stupid double standards. So my plan is I'm

going to try my best to not

fight with my mum. It's getting really

hard. My tactic currently is to try and be

tidy as much as I can and then just try

and avoid her as much as I can because I

need to be here for at least a month to be

able to make back the

money that I wasted on that Galaxy Fold.

If I go to London, it'll cost me at least

$1,500 for an Airbnb,

and I don't really fancy going to Europe

yet because of the you-know-what getting

pretty serious in Italy. But I would like

to go to Spain or Sweden, um, as soon as I

can because I have very

good reasons. To go there.

I guess I should stay at home for at least

a month to save up. I really spent

too much money in Korea.

I think I'll go to Spain for a week. I'm

not sure about this Spanish girl though.

We don't really talk to each other that

much. Makes me wonder if she's actually

interested in me. But I talk to the

Finnish girl a lot. She's nice. I like

the way she asks me a lot of questions,

and I feel like she cares about me.

She kind of reminds me of the— of how the

Essex girl used to treat me before she

stopped talking to me. Well, we still

talk, but we don't talk as much as we used

I feel like that's because she's not

interested in me anymore like she was last

Maybe I should skip Spain and go straight

Yeah, there's so many things I want to do.

This stupid you-know-what spreading

everywhere, it's just Making me worried.

I'm scared. I don't want to go outside.

The thing I hate about my house is there's

so much junk everywhere. Look at this.

Why do we need all of those animals

staring at me? Why do we need all of this?

I mean, what is this anyway? Why do we

need all of these teapots? Look, there's

4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 teapots

over there. But why do we need 10 teapots

that no one even uses? Look, there's even

more teapots here. I've only just noticed

I'm surrounded by teapots.

Do you think my mum has some kind of

obsession with teetops— teapots? Look,

there's 1, 2, 3, 4, 5— 5 teapots here.

10 over there. And the funny thing

is no one even drinks tea because we drink

coffee. There's even more over here.

Look, there's 2,

3— was this the one I got in Taiwan?

I think the Taiwanese girl's dad gave me

this one actually.

4— this is like a Japanese-style teapot.

I've just counted nearly 20 teapots in

this area alone. There's probably more.

Oh, there's more up there as well! Oh my

God. 1, 2, 3,

4, 5, 6, 7, 8. There's one here.

9, 10. This is like a coffee

pot. 10.

And then there's 10 over there. That's 20.

Jesus Christ.