wow i got recognised outside today

Hello. Am I

gonna move my stuff from my home to my

apartment? What stuff? No,

because then when I leave this place,

I've got to sort out all my stuff again.

Oh my God, I got recognized 3 times going

to Aldi today. What the hell?

That means I've been recognized 4 times

now in Manchester.

So the first one who recognized me, I was

crossing the street and then he just said,

hello, are you Daniel? And then we had a

little chat and then I nearly got run over

because I was standing in the road. I was

so shocked. Because it's not really

something you expect. He said he saw me

back in 2018 in Japan. He said he said hi

to me then. I don't remember unless he

just said hi and he didn't stop and he

carried on walking and I didn't realize he

was saying hi to me. I really don't

remember seeing him before, but he was

nice. And then the other

2 people I didn't see, but when I came

home, I got 2 comments on my new video

saying, Oh my God, I just saw you,

Daniel. Were you in the city center?

And yeah, I was in the city center. I just

got back from Aldi, so I don't think

they were lying. It would be a pretty

funny coincidence that they decided to

make a troll comment about seeing me

straight after I was just outside.

One comment said, I just saw you in the

center, you looked really unhappy or

something. That's just what I look like.

I've just got a very unhappy looking face.

I don't go around with like a big smile.

Yeah, kind of weird, but then if you think

about it, maybe it's not that weird

because I think about 15 to 20% of my

audience are English people. And then

Manchester is like the 3rd or 2nd biggest

city in the whole country. I never had

this happen before in other cities. I

walked around, around in Berlin. No one

recognized me. I walked around, around in

Osaka. No one ever recognized me in Osaka.

I swear, not even one time I was

recognized in Japan, apart from when I

went to the immigration center.

Very strange. Imagine if I went to

America. Maybe— I don't know, America is

very big,

so it would be less likely, maybe. Wow,

the clouds look weird. It's just a little

bit worrying because what if I'm on a date

and then suddenly someone comes up to me

And then my date's gonna be like, what the

hell was that? Why are people recognizing

you on the street? And then my cover will

be blown and I can't tell them about my

channel because then they'll say, oh,

what's your channel? Or they'll look me up

and then they'll find out I do OnlyFans

and then they'll be like, uh, that's

weird, goodbye. So I don't

know, I think I'm gonna have to give up on

dating here because I just Number one, I

don't get many matches, and then the ones

I do match, I feel really paranoid now

that they're gonna find out about my

channel. Because so far, 100% of the girls

who find out about my channel end up

unmatching me. Not a single girl has been

like, oh cool, that's cool, you do

YouTube. Nope, they will unmatch, they

ghost, they don't want anything to do with

me once they find out.

You secretly like the fame. Yeah, I do.

It's nice when people come up and say hi,

but girls

don't like my channel.

They see it and then they're like freaked

out straight away.

And then the OnlyFans stuff just makes it

even worse.

So I don't know how I'm gonna get a

girlfriend now. I have to tell them

upfront about it or risk,

risk it, because then there's, you know,

a chance that I might get away with it.

But I probably get recognized every time I

go to Aldi. I don't know how many people

see me and don't say hi.

I don't get it. Why do so many people

recognize me?

I guess it makes sense I don't really get

recognized much in Japan because I don't

really have a Japanese audience, and then

most people watching my channel were

probably not in Japan. It's probably just

a few. I don't mind being a famous

YouTuber. It's just it's it's not really

helping me with Tinder and dating apps.

And now one girl wants to meet me, and she

lives in Brighton. Great. So I just moved

away from the south, and now I'm all the

way in the north. And then and she's

really cute as well. So now I'm thinking

about going to Brighton, but that's like

either a 9-hour bus trip or 5-hour

train trip. I can't be bothered.

I moved to Manchester and then no girls

want to meet, and then girls in the south

want to meet. I go back home and then no

one in the south wants to meet, and then

people in the north want to meet. Oh my

God, why can't people want to meet when

I'm in the area.

It's like I'm a magnet, but I keep

repelling. Everything gets pushed away.

It's opposite, opposite ends. Everywhere I

go, it ends up pushing everything away.

I don't know what to do.

And then the other problem is people who

have the same interests as me, there's

going to be a higher chance that they know

my channel. So if you're interested in

Japan, you probably watch Japan content

like Chris Broad and the J-vloggers, and

then you'd probably know my channel, or

there's a very high chance my channel is

going to pop up on your recommended. And

then even people who are into stocks,

because I've made videos about stocks,

there's a chance that my channel is going

to pop up. So if I match

any girl who has anything in common with

me, there's a danger that my channel

is going to get recommended to her. So any

girl who's like into gaming or stocks or

Japan, ah, there's a very high chance

they're going to find my channel and I

can't keep it a secret.

What am I going to do? All the years of

being a dickhead on YouTube. Coming back

to bite me in the ass.

Maybe I should just put in my dating

profile my channel name, so if they

match me, then that means I've already

checked it out, and then they're fine with

that. But then I'm gonna get no matches.

I'm gonna get like none, nothing.

What girl's gonna see my channel and then

still want to meet me? They'll think I'm

like a weirdo psychopath.

When I go on Tinder in Japan, this never

happens. No one— no Japanese girls ever

go, oh my god, are you Daniel?

I need to get back to Japan.

When's Japan gonna open? I asked—

I'm talking to that other Japanese woman.

I asked her to be my girlfriend today, so

I don't know what she's gonna say to that.

But then the girl in Brighton said she's

moving to Germany, so I was already

thinking about having a trip to Germany

because there's another girl there. So

that means 2 reasons to go to Germany. I

could meet— I can actually get to Germany

faster than I can get to Brighton.

Apparently Greece is on fire, so I don't

know if it's good to go there. Maybe when

it stops catching on fire.

So yeah, maybe I could go to Germany when

that Brighton girl goes there. So I don't

really want to go all the way to Brighton.

When's the bloody world gonna reopen?

Sick and tired of this stupid virus.

Can't it fuck off? Jesus, how long is it

gonna be? So boring, can't travel

Can I make VODs for everyone? I don't

I wonder if I'd make more money if I make

the VODs open to everyone. Maybe I'd get

more ad revenue.

I think I just have to give up on the idea

of traveling this year. I'm so

bored though, I don't know what to do.

If they aren't subbed, they won't sub

anyways. Well, I thought they might be

more tempted to sub if they get some bonus

things as a reward.

He was a nice guy. He said we could hang

out. Maybe I will. He's around my age.

Just makes me worry a bit. How can I go on

a date incognito when there's like

a constant risk of being recognized and my

Cover being blown.

Why? I don't get it. I'm not even that

famous. So many people recognize me.

I guess millions of people have seen me.

Unless the girl would be impressed by me

secretly being famous,

because then she'll go— she'll— I don't

If she gets to know me in person first,

then she'll know what I'm like in real

life. Whereas if you get to know me from

my channel, I look— I come off really bad

because my videos are like all trolling

and clickbait and drama and negative

stuff. I'm not actually like that in real

life. I give off a very bad impression

from my channel.

Maybe if we met and then she got to know

how I was like in real life first, and

then I showed her the channel, she would

be less freaked out by it.

No, I wasn't wearing a mask. No one's

wearing a mask anymore. You don't have to

wear a mask anymore.

I got recognized probably over there on

that street. Crossing the road.

I think I'm pretty nice in real life. I

don't say rude things to people, and I'm

very well-mannered. None of

the problems that people have with me on

my channel exist in real life.

I don't really know what my problems are.

Why do people have such a big problem with

me? Because I cheated a few times.

Is it really that bad? I bet

half the city's had cheating experience.

And I don't trash everyone in public.

There's plenty of people I talked about

and only said nice things. George,

Eugene, Elvis Alien,

that guy I met today.

Um, unless you annoy me, I won't say

Not everyone annoys me.

The Irish guy, who's that?

Who never annoys you? I just said Just

said George, Eugene,

the guy I met today, uh, the guy I met at

It wasn't an Irish guy, it was a Scottish

guy, but he was a dickhead.

He was really verbally abusive, and then

he just moaned at me all the time, and

then he was playing Xbox in his bedroom in

the hotel room.

Don't know.

I wonder if I walked past any people who

don't like me and they're like, oh,

that's that stupid idiot Daniel.

Everyone I met so far, they've been really

nice. All the people who came up and said

hi,

even, even some haters.

I met one hater in real life, and in real

life he was really nice. But before I met

him in real life, he was a massive

dickhead. We were having a big argument in

the comments section. Remember that

Canadian guy? I started having

an argument with him after a livestream in

the live chat before I told Chihiro that I

was doing YouTube. He was saying stuff

like, oh, if I ever see you in Osaka with

your girlfriend, I'm going to expose you

and make sure she knows all about you.

And then I bumped into him by chance at

immigration, and he was like the

friendliest person I ever met.

Are you trying to convince us you're a

nice person? Well, I think I am a nice

There's a lot worse out there.

I'm nice to some people and not nice to

other people. If you annoy me, which you

are doing now, then I will not be nice to

Idiot. Fucking ban you, Sensei Rain, if

you don't shut the fuck up. Then we'll see

who's nice or not nice. I don't owe you

niceness if you're being rude to me.

Okay, get the ban out.

Calling me not nice? Show you who's not

nice, you stupid fuck.

Ban. Yeah, who's not nice now?

Stupid bitch. Call me not nice,

fucking ban you for life.

I'm not nice to everyone. If you gave me a

reason not to be nice to you, then I'll

not be nice to you, idiot.

Treat people how you want to be treated.

You treat people badly, I'll treat you

back badly.

Okay, what was I saying?

Um,

yeah, I was

gonna make a video about the girl who

unmatched me because of OnlyFans, but now

I'm not sure. I feel a bit embarrassed

making weird content. If I keep getting

recognized in the street, I start to

think, oh, maybe I should tone it down a

bit. It's not that weird, is it? Just

saying, oh, I got unmatched because I do

OnlyFans. I don't think that's

a problem. I do want to make some money

off of the situation.

What was I gonna say? Oh yeah, I was gonna

say, yeah, this is the point, uh, a funny

point I realized. So my last video, I

literally say in the video I'm a bit

worried that girls will find out I do

OnlyFans and then reject me, so it's kind

of awkward when they ask what I do for a

living. And then literally a few days

after, I get rejected by a girl for doing

OnlyFans. What the fuck?

If that's not proof that law of attraction

exists, then I don't know what is. So,

so I was sending out an energy to the

universe, an energy of fear of being

rejected because of OnlyFans. So I sent

that out and then it sent it back to me by

making it come true. I basically

manifested that into existence. Jesus

Christ. So I,

I want to make that as like part of the

video. That's a pretty good point. So I

literally said in the video that I was

worried that that would happen, and then

it happened. And now I'm starting to

notice a trend where I say I'm worried

about something happening and then it

actually happens, or I make a fake video

about something and then it actually

happens. Remember I was saying Oh, I'm

worried Chihiro will find my videos and

then she's gonna make like her own channel

to— and then make revenge videos at me.

And then that actually happened, didn't

it, a few years later? And then another

time, you know, I was making fake videos

about, uh, breaking up with my girlfriend

who was Mida at the time, and then she

actually broke up with me. And then

I made a fake video about getting kicked

out my Airbnb, and then I actually got

banned on Airbnb. That's so weird. Why

can't I make a fake video about winning

the lottery? Then I might actually win it.

Kind of weird, don't you think?

Very weird. People get

into mysticism stuff when they're getting

desperate. Yeah, it's a bit like religion,

I guess. When you feel so— you don't know

where to turn, so you turn to something

that gives you hope.

Hmm,

so I really don't know what to do for a

video, but now I feel kind of scared to

make the stuff I would have originally

made because now I'm worried it's gonna

like come back to bite me. I guess there's

no harm making the one about The

OnlyFans thing. I don't really have

anything else to talk about.

It's like all my stories always revolve

around girls, meeting them, and then

either getting rejected or we sleep

together and then something else happens.

When has my content ever not been about

girls? And then if I'm not meeting about

girls and talking about it, I've got no

content. But then if my whole

channel is just talking about girls, any

girl that sees the channel is going to be

freaked out by it because they'll think,

oh, he's just going to talk about me.

People are so scared of being talked

about, aren't they? Like, that German girl

made me sign a contract promising I

wouldn't talk about her.

I wonder if that even works because I did

talk about her. So what happens? Am I

gonna get sued if I go to Germany again?

But I didn't say anything like personal

info kind of stuff.

I don't really know how contracts work.

So if I made you sign a contract saying,

contract saying, I will not call Daniel an

idiot, and then you sign it, but then you

call me an idiot, can I legally sue you?

Because we've got a contract saying that

you promised not to call me an idiot.

I didn't actually read the contract

because I just wanted her to go away as

soon as possible.

So stupid. We were at that triangle-shaped

Airbnb and then she said she's gonna go to

her grandmother's to do some studying and

then she left and I was like, oh, thank

God she's gone. And then she came back

about an hour ago. She just barged into

the Airbnb. I was like, what the hell,

why is she back? And And then she thrust

this piece of paper at me, asked me to

sign it. Completely nuts.

And then I signed it, and then she left

again. And then she messaged me saying,

so when are we meeting on Saturday? I

said, I don't want to meet you again. I

don't really like you.

She still wanted to meet me.

I don't even know why she suddenly did

that. She said she was

getting worried, and then, you know, just

in case, I want you to sign this because

things were getting weird between us. It

was getting very awkward. I don't know if

she sensed it, but I was getting very

annoyed with her.

We'd only known each other for like 5 days

and already just

little things she would say were like

red flags.

She just wasn't very nice.

Is this the German girl that ditched you?

No, this is a second German girl.

Yeah, I do attract a lot

of people who are like me, and then I

don't like them because, because they have

all the bad qualities that I have.

I don't really want to be with a person

who is like me because I wouldn't want to

be with myself actually because I'm

pretty boring.

Imagine if I got with a girl who's just

like me, we'd end up just sitting at home

all day bored because we've got no

interest in doing anything.

And then after a while, the sex would get

boring, and then we'd just be like sitting

around, don't know what to do. And then

I'd get bored, and then I'd probably want

to go and travel and meet someone new.

And then I got a dumper.

I thought you liked being bored with

Chihiro at home. No, I was so bored when I

was married because I couldn't meet

anyone. I couldn't go anywhere.

And then staying at home all day every day

was just really boring. The only thing I

like doing that gives me excitement is

going to a new place and meeting a girl.

Otherwise, I just end up staying at home

all day playing games, and that gets

pretty dull.

Yeah,

very tricky. I don't know.

There's this one girl I'm chatting to.

She actually lives in this building.

Maybe she's above me, but she's kind

of— I don't know. Our conversations never

go anywhere. It's always just, what are

you having for dinner? What did you do

today?

Maybe she lives above me. Maybe she's

below me. I don't know.

What if I bump into her in the elevator?

That would be so awkward. I don't even— I

actually forgot what she looks like

because I added her on a different

chatting app, but then she unmatched me on

Tinder. A few girls

did that. That black girl did it as well.

After we exchanged phone numbers, she

unmatched me on Tinder, but we would carry

on talking.

I wonder why they do that.

Is it so I can't see what

they're doing on Tinder?

So I can't see what they're changing on

their bio.

Hmm, ask open-ended

follow-up questions. I don't know what to

ask, so difficult.

Maybe I need a new Tinder profile because

I'm not getting any matches, and people

say you can get shadow banned by spamming

like, which is really stupid. Doesn't

Tinder know that most men are

just going swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe,

swipe on everyone.

Why ban your customers? Why shadow ban

your customers for doing something that

nearly everyone's doing? What I think

really, they should change it so men

don't have to swipe. Only the women

have to swipe, and then men just

automatically like everyone.

Because I'm only going to swipe left if

they look really, really bad.

So I'm not, I'm not flicking through the

profiles, reading everyone's profile and

going, oh, she seems like someone I have

lots in common with. Oh, she likes

football, swipe left. No,

I'm not really paying attention.

I'll just swipe right, right, right until

someone matches with me.

And then if they match me, then I'll check

out their profile and decide,

because sometimes I match people that I

didn't actually like. 'Cause I didn't

actually look at the profile.

But then I have to get a new SIM card and

get a new phone number, get like a, a

burner phone just for Tinder.

Could get a new phone. That new Samsung

Flip phone looks pretty cool. Flip Z3 and

the Fold 3 is out now.

I always liked the Flip phone. Looks

pretty cool. Why did I get banned from

Tinder? Because I kept pretending to be

different people. I was experimenting,

pretending to be a white guy, and then I

pretended to be a black guy. And then I

guess Tinder found out and then banned me

I've actually had more luck on Bumble. I

get more matches on Bumble for some

I can't be bothered anymore.

They're just gonna find my channel.

I'm doomed.

Doomed.

Some girls have in their profile, if

you're conservative, swipe left.

What's wrong with being conservative?

I don't even know what it means,

actually. If you support Boris Johnson, I

guess, and stuff like Brexit.

They say they're liberal, but then they

seem so close-minded. Oh, no OnlyFans.

Oh, no conservatives. No this and no that.

But I'm open-minded.

No, you're not. You're like the complete

opposite of what open-minded is.

Everyone seems to have liberal in their

profile, or I don't know.

Some weird political term. I hate how

everything's politicized now, even bloody

Tinder. They should make like a Tinder

for left people and Tinder for right

Japan never had this problem. Women in

Japan don't put their political

affiliation in their Tinder profile. Most

women in Japan don't give a shit about

politics. They probably don't even know

who their prime minister is.

That's the great thing about Japan. None

of these problems exist there.

Most people don't want to be in a

relationship with people who don't share

their political beliefs. I wonder what my

political beliefs are. I feel like I don't

have any, any political beliefs. I just

don't really care as long as it doesn't

affect me. I don't like Brexit because it

means I can't go and just stay in Germany

for a whole year.

Gotta get a stupid visa now. Otherwise I

could have gone to Germany 2 months,

Spain 5 months. Now I can't go

anywhere for longer than 3 months.

Do people who are really into politics,

do they like sit at the table talking

about politics? It sounds really boring.

Just, I guess you would just be trashing

the people in the other parties. Oh,

Boris Johnson, you're such a twat.

I actually kind of like Boris Johnson.

He's funny.

I like him because he's funny, like I like

Trump because he's funny, but I have no

idea what their policies are. I just like

people because they make me laugh, not

because of what they stand— I have— I

still have no idea what Trump stood for.

Apparently he doesn't like China.

Biden's boring.

Oh, he's pretty funny when he was talking

about some kids touching his legs when he

was in the swimming pool and stroking his

leg hair. What the hell is he going on

about? Why would you say that?

You're the president and you're giving

some speech and now you're talking about

kids rubbing your legs. What the hell?

Even I'm not that stupid.

That was pretty funny. Imagine his PR team

going, oh no, stop him, stop him!

And then there's these clips of him

stroking girls' heads. That's kind of

He's getting pretty old, isn't he? Like

nearly 80 now.

I started playing more of Assassin's Creed

on Switch. In the beginning I didn't like

it, but I gave it a chance and I'm quite

into it now, and it's quite interesting.

Learning about the history.

Some quite insightful things you

learn about the British and the colonists.

So according to the game, the British

spent insane amounts of money to

fight off the French and keep hold of the

colonies. And in order to pay all this

money all the debts, they raised the

taxes. They wanted to tax the colonists,

and then the colonists started whining

about too much taxes and then rebelled.

Seems kind of weird how

it starts off British and then it just

becomes American.

And the story is quite cool, how you start

off as the white guy and then he bangs a

native woman, and then the rest of the

game you're playing as the kid. I feel

like I've seen that plotline somewhere

else where there was a half-native guy.

But it's kind of depressing, the whole

natives getting kicked out and

the conquered stuff. It's a bit sad,

isn't it?

It's Assassin's Creed 3. I didn't realize

it was so old. It's like 9 years old, and

there's loads more new Assassin's Creed

games that I had never even heard of. So

there's at least 2 new ones that I didn't

realize existed. There was one called

Odyssey. It's like in Sparta, Greece,

Greek Empire times. And then there's

another new one, Viking one, in the Viking

times. Are they going to do a Roman times

one? They should do like a caveman time

Assassin's Creed, 2000 BC,

and then you're like a caveman with a

club. Just do every era.

They're gonna end up just running out of

eras to make games out of.

There's been so many Assassin's Creed

games that I had no idea because I just— I

don't keep up with Assassin's Creed. I

lost interest after Assassin's Creed 1.

Yeah, it's not a bad game. Quite enjoy

playing it.

Okay, I've gotta make dinner. Gonna make a

new Cooking with Daniel.

Oh, I don't know what to do for videos

anymore.

Really, I want to do my incel rage videos

like I used to. Oh my God, she's so

stupid. She unmatched me. What a bitch.

But now I can't do that because I feel

like I should be careful. Because you

can't just say anything you want on the

internet without consequences. That's

something I've started to realize.

Everything you say has a consequence,

doesn't it?

And then if I just rage about that one

girl, that just makes me look really bad,

and then other girls won't want— won't be

interested. They're probably not

interested anymore anyway.

Oh, uh, made some soup.

I've got loads of mushrooms today.

Don't post stuff that attracts weirdos.

Yeah, that's something I've been thinking

about now. The more of these kind

of incel rage type videos you make, the

more of these incel type losers you

attract. And all these like Elliot Rodger

fan people.

You put out weird content, you just

attract weird people.

It's like, look at Chris-Chan. I don't

want to attract Chris-Chan viewers because

they all seem really toxic and horrible.

Just put out boring stock market videos,

then all the weirdos will stop watching

and lose interest.

That's why I don't, I don't really want to

make drama content. I didn't make a video

about when Pia came up.

It just attracts the worst kinds of

people. What do I think of Chris-Chan?

I think it's just kind of sad.

The whole thing is just depressing.

I guess it's what happens when you give

mentally ill people access to YouTube.

Or I don't know what he's on. Is he even

on YouTube? I've never come across his

content.

I thought he was like someone from ages

ago who just kind of faded away, like Ray

William Johnson or whatever.

Yeah, I don't know why I never realized

that if you put out toxic content,

you attract toxic people. I guess it makes

sense. Ah, just like law of attraction,

you get back what you put out.

But I always thought of it as, I don't

care, I just want to get views. But then

if you think about it, do you really want

to go viral and be known as this like

incel loser weirdo?

That's not really what you want to go

viral for. Imagine I made

a video called Why I Hate Manchester and

it went viral, 5 million views, and then

everyone in Manchester recognized me and

were like, oh, you're that guy who hates

Manchester, why don't you fuck off?

Now I feel like maybe I shouldn't have

made that Why I Hate Korea video. What if

I go back to Korea and I'm walking around

the street and I get beaten up by Korean

men? Because they recognized me.

That video has like 111k views now.

One one one.

I changed the title to Things I Dislike

About Korea. Now I've got loads of Dutch

people hating on me too because of my Why

I Hate Living in the Netherlands video. I

don't know why they get so angry though.

All I said was it smells like weed and

it's expensive and I got beaten up. Why

are they getting mad at me?

They were like, oh, you only went to

Amsterdam. How dare you

complain about the whole country when you

only went to 2 cities?

Look at this big tub

of mushrooms. That's way too many

mushrooms. But they don't sell a smaller

box and it was only £1, so,

um, got a lot of mushrooms to eat.

Gonna make mushroom soupy.

This time I'm gonna boil the potatoes and

then mash them and then make— add

the rest of the soup to it. I've got

bacon, I'm gonna make bacon and mushroom

Creamy soup. Got carbonara

pasta sauce.

Oh, I forgot to buy leek. Leek would have

been nice.

What else do I have? I didn't get much

food today. What the hell?

Got haddock for tomorrow's dinner.

And I got— oh, I got garlic bread.

Carlos garlic bread.

Maybe I can make enough mushroom soup for

2 dinners with garlic bread. That's 2

dinners, uh, had 3 dinners. That'll last

me tonight, Thursday, Friday, and

Saturday. I got to go shopping So

I'll run out of food on Sunday, and then

Aldi's closed on Sunday.

Maybe Sainsbury's is open. I needed

one more dinner to last me until Monday.

Do I have one more dinner? Oh, I got

sausages. Yeah, I'm fine. Hey, this would

be two dinners. How many?

Six, I think. Yeah, six sausages. 3

sausages would be enough because 1 sausage

is 200 calories, so 3 would be 600

calories. Wow, that should be enough for 2

dinners. Yeah, we're fine. Don't have to

leave house for another week.

Okay, get to the soup making.

You only have one meal a day? No, I have

one dinner a day and then lunch. I've got

lunch stuff. I've got bread, I've got ham,

I got salad, and I've got these pies.

I have 2 lunches. I have a sandwich with

crisps and then I have my second lunch,

one of these pies and some

yogurt. I've got more yogurts,

this time for eating. Not up

my bum. And I got this

detox with selenium,

helps protect from oxidative stress. I

don't know if that was going to make any

difference. Maybe I

have lots of oxidative stress recently.

Can I get more hule? I guess

I could. I got my dildo today, came in the

post. I just went down, I said, "Do you

have parcel for me?" And then he went and

got it and gave it to me. It's not hard

getting parcels. It's just um bit

annoying. Have to talk to someone to get

my parcel.

Why— they should have like a locker where

they leave it.

Could get some Huel, I guess, get it

delivered.

I just don't really miss eating Huel.

I've got a whole bag of it still at home

that I didn't bring with me.

No, the dildo came in a discreet box.

It's quite a good dildo. Finally, I got

one that can actually fit. It's got 2

ends. One end is pretty slim, and then the

other end's like normal-ish size, but I

can't get the big one in. That's why I

don't think I'd ever do gay sex because it

would be painful unless they've got a

really small dick. It was

okay. I don't know, I think I prefer using

my finger. It just

seems like a lot of work to do the dildo.

Use lube? Even with lube, it won't go in

because my hole isn't, isn't that wide.

It won't stretch that wide.

So I don't know how people be gay.

White guys have pretty big dicks. There's

no way I'd let like an 8-inch, 9-inch dick

go up there. That would be scary. There'd

be definite ripping. Yeah,

it's weird because my poo is probably the

size of a dildo, but that comes out with

no problem. I guess going in the other

way is different.

Well, the poo starts off slim at

the end and then it comes out,

probably stretches it as it comes out.

I don't know, I never really looked at my

poo that closely. I think poo is

spearheaded because poo doesn't come out

when— with the end like a big mushroom

shape. Anyway,

stop talking about poo, gotta make my

Cooking with Daniel segment. Hello,

welcome back to a new episode of Cooking

with Daniel. Daniel, today I'm gonna make

mushroom soup with

this stuff. Okay,

that should do. Roll music.

Do do do do do do do

do do.

Also got to angle it so the donation bar

doesn't get in the way.

Uh, okay, first we got to make the mashed

potato. This will be the soup thickener.

Thicken up the soup, cuz who would want

runny mushroom soup?

I should have bought pasta for the sauce.

I don't want pasta, I want potato.

I think it could be quite tasty. My

expectations on— potato

escaped. I'm expecting it to be creamy,

salty,

Potatoey. I still can't find where I can

buy a knife, so scissors will

have to do.

Oh, you know, I could have just bought

mashed potato. You know, they sell frozen

mashed potato. Why didn't I just buy that?

I would have made it so much easier.

Okay, next time I'll get pre-made

frozen mashed potato.

Make roux with flour and butter.

Hmm, could do. We'll try that next time.

But I've always liked using potato because

it makes it all starchy,

plus it's got carbohydrates.

Maybe flour does.

I should have stole the knife from the

last apartment. They don't sell knives

anywhere. I went to the supermarket, I

couldn't find any.

But I actually prefer scissors because you

don't need a cutting board. If I had a

knife, I'd have to put it on the table and

then I have to buy a cutting board. I

would like to have slightly bigger

scissors with a bigger grip because this

kind of hurts my finger.

Okay, I think that's enough potatoes.

One more.

The problem with buying a knife is they

don't have the knives on display, so you

got to ask them to go and get the knife

out the back. And I don't like

buying stuff if I have to talk to someone.

That's why I don't buy beer. Only thing

stopping me from buying beer is having to

Show them ID. Oh, I've got 111

viewers! Amazing. Isn't it funny, the—

because the Streamlabs viewer count, it

isn't real time, it doesn't like go up and

down with increments of 1 or 2 people, it

just kind of randomly jumps up and jumps

down, jumps up, but it always seems to

stop at 111.

Very weird. People say, oh, it's just

because you're looking out for the number

111 everywhere that you keep seeing it

everywhere. Then how come just completely

random things like the viewer count

coincidentally stops at 111?

Don't think it's gonna be a coincidence

every time.

I avoid doing a lot of things to

avoid talking to people. I don't go

to the hairdresser, I don't go to the

optician, I don't

buy shoes because you go into a shoe shop,

they always come up to you and annoy you.

Oh my God, 1:11:11! I've been streaming

for 1 hour, 1 minute, and 11 seconds just

now. Did you see that? I'm not making this

up. It was just, uh,

1:01:11 as soon as I looked at the timer

thing. Damn,

someone's getting back with Mila.

For one second just then, it literally

said one one one one one one one.

Wow! If that's not a sign of good things

to come, then I don't even know what is.

Oh, we got kidney beans too. I think that

would be good. Why is it chili?

Oh no, chili sauce! Oh, I didn't see it

said spicy. Fuck's sake,

I don't want spicy. I don't even know if

kidney beans would go well with mushroom

Is Sabrina single now? No, I don't

think she is. Why, did you hear something?

How do you know more than I do

about my own family? I haven't even talked

to my family in like months. They don't

even give a shit about me.

Okay, I don't

want too much water because we're just

gonna boil it.

Benford's Law: 1s appear more often than

other numbers. Really? I wonder

why. I am seeing a lot of 1s everywhere,

but then there's also a lot of 2s.

Maybe I should like write up a chart and

then every time I see a number I put one

tally and then see which number I've seen

the most. That sounds like something

really fun.

So I finished making my yogurt video. I

wonder how much money I'll make. I think I

made like $500 off my sausage video.

Damn, $500. I'd have to make— I'd have to

get 200K views or 100K.

No, probably 200K views on YouTube to make

$500. Even my sex doll

videos that got like 250K views didn't not

make $500. I think even my girlfriend

is ugly video that has quarter of a

million views didn't make $500.

And then my sausage one, only about 20

people saw it, or maybe less, maybe 15.

Why can I smell burning?

A bit worried.

I think it's the underside of the pot.

I'm just wondering how many of the guys

would like the yogurt one because it's a

bit messy,

and then it might be a bit gross for some

people because I squirt the yogurt up

there and then I squeeze it out and then I

push it back in and then squeeze it out

again. Maybe it's

hot because it's— look, it looks creamy,

like it's C-U-M.

See you next Monday. Oh, I was chatting to

one girl and then she said she's

gonna go to bed, and then I replied with,

okay, see you next time. I didn't realize

I spelled out cunt. Now I'm worried she

might have realized and thought, wait, is

Daniel calling me a cunt? I put C like the

letter C. See you next time. I didn't

realize. I didn't even realize I

accidentally spelled out cunt,

and now she doesn't message me anymore.

It looks really bad. It looks like I

called her a cunt.

See you next time. It's a pretty normal

thing to say. See you next time.

Because I thought the cunt one would see

you next Thursday, but then time also

begins with a T.

Maybe I'll

do it on Tinder. See you next time,

cunt.

Smells a bit weird. Like melting plastic.

Remember back in the days when fire used

to come out these stoves? Can't say I

miss operating fire.

Feels a lot safer just having these

induction hobs.

Very high-tech.

Very strange how hot they can get. Ow!

Fuck! No, I was just joking. That one's

off. That's just another one of my

practical jokes that

you fell for.

Hahaha. Yeah,

even the oven doesn't have fire. It's just

a fan blowing hot air out.

The caveman times of fire usage are no

more.

Using gas and fire just seems so

primitive.

Primitative.

Fires, yeah, it's very relaxing to look

into when you're at a campfire or a

fireplace. You stare into it, it's so

soothing.

So soothing.

I should walk around Manchester during the

day with my GoPro on, see how many people

recognize me. Because I'm so famous.

Imagine if I did a livestream out there,

how many people would turn up?

Something Ice Poseidon would have done.

And then a bunch of weirdos show up, and

then it's like weirdo train with Ice

at the front followed by a bunch of weird

people. I don't really want that. It's

kind of embarrassing.

Yeah, only guys recognized me for some

reason. Out of the 8 or 9 times I got

recognized, only one was a woman. Where

are the girls? Why weren't the girls

coming up to say hi to me? I feel like I'm

being picked up, like approached.

This must be what girls feel like when

guys try and pick them up.

Girls are scared of me. Scared I'm gonna

whip out my push-ups on them.

Imagine being physically scared of me, as

if I could actually beat anyone up.

I'm like the weakest, frailest looking guy

Ever. I'm like the most unintimidating guy

ever. Most women could probably overpower

me.

Most your viewers are guys? Yeah, I'd say

about 75%, 70% are guys.

I used to have more female viewers, but I

lost a lot of them.

Because apparently I treat women so badly

just because I had one or two bad

experiences. Let's just ignore

the 8 out of 10 women that I treated well.

We'll focus on the, the 2 girls I treated

badly. Oh no, I treat all women so badly

according to their logic. Oh wow, I've

been streaming for 1 hour. It's 11 minutes

and 11 seconds. Look now, look how

long I've been streaming. Oh no, you guys

can't see how long I've been streaming,

can you? It's not like YouTube, is it,

where you can see how long it is? No, I

don't think you can.

You cheated on your wife? Yeah, but she's

like one woman. I've dated over

10 women. And I only cheated on one of

them, so that's a pretty good ratio,

don't you think?

Ah, I need one more viewer, then it would

be 1111111.

I treated lots of my girlfriends well.

What about the French girlfriend? I never

cheated on her. I never talked bad about

her until she started fraternizing with

the Spanish guy. Betrayed me.

I treated chlamydia girlfriend well.

Never cheated on her.

Uh, have I ever talked bad about chlamydia

girlfriend? Have I ever talked bad about

single mother golf apart from calling her

unattractive? Have I ever talked

bad about Korean ex-girlfriend?

No, no,

no, no. Do you like my Palpatine

impression? No,

no.

That scene when Mace Windu is about to

kill him, that's the worst acting I've

ever seen. He's lying on the floor

going, no! That's so cringe.

Anakin, Anakin, he's going to kill me.

Please don't let him kill me. The prequels

had some cringe lines in it.

Oh no, Anakin is going to kill

me. That guy is a funny actor.

What's his name? Ian something.

And then Episode 3 when Darth Vader goes,

noooooo!

That film's like unintentional comedy.

No, not Ian McKellen. The guy who acts as

Palpatine. Mr. Palpatino.

Yeah, movie's pretty funny now.

They've— the memes have just ruined it.

Calling her chlamydia girlfriend is an

insult. Well, I need something to identify

her. And that was the most— that's the

thing that stood out most about the

relationship. My first ever STD.

Oh, memories.

Okay, I have to ban Labina Sword now for

being racist and See, Twitch, I am

moderating my chat,

so where is it?

Okay. Oh, thanks, Kerry, because I gotta

ban people who are saying the N-word in

the chat. Otherwise I get a ban and

then Twitch says I'm not moderating my

chat properly. So sorry about that.

I've got to show Twitch— that's

hot, ow— gotta show Twitch

that I'm a good streamer.

I'm a good boy streamer.

It's the same guy. He keeps using names of