[2021-05-29] My Youtube Channel is Ruining my Life... [E5Rrsay37g8]

So it's been a while since my last video,

and that's because I've been busy trying

to think about what I want to do with my

life, and I've come to the conclusion that

I still have no idea. And I'm

also kind of having difficulties in

deciding which direction I want to take

the channel in. I kind of have a problem,

or where I need to choose between either

my channel and its weird content, which is

the kind of content I like making and the

kind of content I think you guys like

seeing. I have to choose between that and

having a girlfriend or being able to find

a girlfriend. The problem is,

if I— The

problem is, even though I like making the

weird content because I like seeing

people's reaction to it, it kind of makes

me look like a massive twat and very

undateable and borderline— And

the problem is, I feel like if I keep

making that kind of content, I'm gonna end

up being alone for the rest of my life.

And even if I use dating websites or

dating apps and I try and keep the channel

a secret and I don't say anything about

the channel, they usually end up finding

out about the channel anyway, because

surprisingly, even though I'm

not really that famous, my channel is

still kind of small. I've had several

experiences, maybe about 4 times it's

happened before, where I matched someone,

I didn't tell them about the channel, and

they found out anyway, either because

just, just by coincidence they found out,

or because they showed my picture to one

of their friends and one of their friends

recognized me. And I'm surprisingly

more famous than you may realize, and

people do recognize me. Maybe because of

the Elvis the Alien interview that got

millions of views. Didn't really help my

situation. But yeah, I've come to the

realization that I don't feel confident in

being able to keep my channel a secret.

And when they find my channel, the

reaction most girls have is they get a bit

freaked out. They've got a lot of

questions. Most of the time they block me

or unmatch me, or they don't want to meet

me anymore because they're scared that

they'll end up on the channel. So in

order to make my channel less creepy and

reduce the chances of freaking girls out,

I would have to just take down half the

videos on the channel. I would have to

stop making the weird content that I kind

of like making. I don't like making boring

stuff. You know, non, non-weird content.

You might say, Daniel, why don't you just

make normal content like everyone else on

YouTube does? It's because it doesn't

interest me. I find that boring. I don't

want to make videos like 5 top things I

love about Japan or day in the life of my

introverted life. That's just not what I'm

interested in making. As a content

creator, I like to push the boundaries on

what is socially acceptable and not

acceptable. And as a result, uh, that has

resulted in a lot of people hating me,

and it's resulted in people not wanting to

have anything to do with me. And it's also

resulted in me losing a girlfriend in the

past, last year. You probably know who I'm

talking about. But this is the price you

pay for being a weirdo on the internet, I

guess. And to be honest, I can't really

decide what I want. I want both, but you

know the phrase, you can't eat your cake

and have it, is kind of true. It applies

to many things in life, and I guess I

can't be a weirdo on the internet and

expect to have a normal relationship with

a normal girl who's understanding and

accepts that I want to be a weirdo on the

internet. So I feel like I don't have many

options. I either give up on the channel,

which I really don't want to do because I

do kind of enjoy doing this, or I have to

give up on girls and dating, which also

kind of sucks because I like girls too,

and I don't like being alone.

And, um, recently not many girls who know

my channel message me anymore. I don't

know why. Maybe it's because they found

out that I'm too much of a weirdo. And I

don't even know if I want to travel

anymore. I, I was really wanting to travel

earlier in the year, but now I'm just

feeling really lazy and feeling like

traveling would just be really expensive.

I don't have any girls that are interested

in meeting, and even if I try and use

dating websites, I probably won't have

much success. And then even if I have

success, they'll find out about my channel

sooner or later, and then I'll get dumped

or rejected again. So yeah, it's a pretty

tricky time in my life right now. I'm at

this crossroads where I feel like I have

to decide which is more important, my love

life or my channel,

which has a lot of weird content on it,

which is just going to reduce my chances

in the dating marketplace by quite a lot.

Any girl who finds my channel or Googles

me is gonna be pretty creeped out,

probably, based off of my past

experiences. But then at the same time, I

don't want to lose this because this is

what I like doing. This is what I'm

interested in doing, and I don't want to

just make videos that I'm not interested

in making because then I'll probably get

bored of making videos and then I'll stop

making them. Because you need to be

interested and you need to be having fun

in making the types of videos you want to

make. Otherwise, It just becomes like,

like a job, I guess, and then you don't

want to do it anymore. You may have

noticed that I keep privating videos and

then setting them back to public and then

setting them back to private again, only

to set them back to public again. And

that's a pretty good indication that I

just can't make up my mind. Do I want to

clean up my channel? Do I want to clean up

my online image? So I can improve my

chances in the dating marketplace, or do I

just want to not care about girls anymore

and just put that weird stuff back to

public, put that kind of self-sabotaging,

self-destructive content back up on—

onto my channel, set it back to public? I

just— I can't decide. I keep flip-flopping

backwards and forwards. Based off of what

emotion I have. And I guess the emotion I

have right now is maybe I should give up

on the dating thing and just focus on my

channel and focus on what I love doing.

And maybe that will work out better than

trying to focus on girls and then stopping

myself from what I love doing and then

becoming miserable, which is what happened

last year when I was with my ex, Mila.

And that's probably why I was so miserable

when I was with her, because I had to stop

being such a weirdo on my channel. So as

you can imagine, I don't really feel that

amazing these days because I feel like

either option I take, I'm doomed to

misery. If I focus on my channel, make

that a priority, then I'm probably not

going to do very well at the whole dating

thing, and I'm just gonna have to be

single and accept, accept that fact. Or if

I try and focus on improving my chances

dating, then I have to give up on making

the kind of videos I want to make and

keeping my mouth shut on certain topics

and certain private things in my life.

And then I'll just be miserable like I was

back in Rotterdam. So yeah, very difficult

decisions I have to make.

Hello and welcome back to another Cooking

with Daniel. Today we're going to be

making this self-heating ration pack.

Very cool. Meatballs and pasta. And it

came with a whole bunch of stuff like a

cream bar, chocolate cake, some sweeties,

but I don't really care about that stuff.

Also has some tea with it.

I want to look at this. This is the

meatballs and pasta and tomato sauce in a

bag, and they give you this self-heating

pouch. Which I think is like those

Japanese pocket warmer things you shake

up. But I'm not sure how to make this.

Seems kind of complicated.

Heater sleeve, insert unopened meal pouch.

Oh, so I put this whole meal pouch inside

of this plastic bag and then what?

This is way too complicated. I can't be

bothered reading all these instructions.

Look how many instructions there are.

It's like building a model kit. I'm just

gonna pour it out, see what it looks like.

Better be good.

Smells okay. Okay, here it comes.

Are you ready?

Meal in a bag. That looks delicious.

There's barely anything in here. It's like

a child's portion.

Smells like tomato pasta sauce.

Oh, it's on my finger.

Get a close-up.

Doesn't that look appetizing?

I'll just put it in for 30 seconds.

Don't need a heating pack, got a

microwave.

Voilà! Is it done?

Let me lick it. No, it's still a bit cold.

Bit longer. Okay, so here we

are, meatballs and pasta from a bag.

Looks yummy. Let me try a meatball, get a

close-up. Ooh,

look at that. Okay,

I'll give it a try now.

Hmm, not too bad.

It's a bit like aeroplane food. Try a bit

of the pasta.

I don't like it. Oh,

it tastes weird. Oh, I don't know.

I don't know why it's weird.

Oh, I don't like it. The meatballs are

fine, but the pasta makes me gag.

Yeah, not the best meal I've ever had.

Definitely not worth the money. It was

about £12 for this whole kit.

But look, you get chocolate cake too with

Bolo de chocolate.

Amazing.