5k Subscriber Celebration Live Stream

Wait, I'm not ready. I'm not

ready yet.

Okay.

We're gonna go outside and then we're

gonna do some streaming.

The weather is very dark.

Um, what else do we need? I need my key.

I'm starving. I haven't had anything to

I can hear people outside of my room.

Do I have everything? I have money.

We're gonna go buy some food. It's 6

PM right now. I haven't eaten anything.

There's someone outside.

There's someone out there using the

washing machine. Should we just go?

I'm whispering because there's someone

outside of my room.

Oh, but he's outside of my room.

Save electricity.

It smells funny.

There's a guy over there. Oh shit,

there's people out there.

I said

hello, guys. Did you hear me?

I konbanwa'd them right in the face.

Was that girl cute? She sounded cute.

Okay,

let's go.

Yeah, Dr. Brain, I got your $2. Thanks.

My pocket's jangling.

I just want to get out of this area first.

It's too crowded, too many people.

I didn't see him there.

What's my PayPal email? It's

[email protected].

I hate it when you— when I go out of the

guest house and there's loads of people

sitting by the entrance smoking or

talking. It's kind of awkward.

How much is rent? It's ¥51,000.

Okay, here we go, the main road where

there's even more people. Great.

The video quality is horrible.

Really? I had to send back the high-speed

Wi-Fi, so I'm back on the slower Wi-Fi.

Ramen. Please say my name, I'll be so

happy. Boko Poko.

Is that your real name?

It's a bit quieter here.

Can I say your name? Pinhead Larry.

Why do people want me to say their names?

Am I going to continue with the gaming

channel? Not right now.

Maybe when I go home. I don't have a

gaming computer. Right now.

First,

I want to go to Lawson to get something to

eat. I need to cross this road.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's not

pre-recorded, it's a live stream. Look at

It's been such a long time since I last

did a livestream. So much has happened

over the past week. It's been a bit

Got some money.

Oh, it takes ages to cross the road. Come

on.

What do you mean it won't load? Try

refreshing it.

I think I'm going to mute it when I go

into Lawson, because last time I got

copyright flagged for the music.

I don't think there's music in here.

I just want to get a burger or something,

nice and simple.

Where are the burgers? Oh,

I didn't know Lawson had burgers. They

have cheeseburgers and fish

burgers.

A burger basic, a basic burger for basic

Is that a guy that's a foreigner?

That woman's a foreigner. Did you hear her

Japanese? She's not Japanese.

She heard me speaking English.

I don't like it when there's foreigners

because they can understand what I'm

Shit, there's music. I'm gonna mute it.

Okay,

we're out. We have burgers, or one burger.

Oh look, there's cuppa sushi here. I quite

like cuppa sushi. I'm not really a huge

fan of sushi though. It doesn't really

taste like much. It's just like rice with

fish on it, and then you put some soy

Okay. Na na

na na. Is the quality any good?

Do you know how much I'm paying every

month for this quality? I'm paying about

$80, $70 US dollars, maybe £60,

¥8,000.

Nokia 3210, that was one of my first

phones, I think. No, it was the Nokia

3310. I used

to love it. I used to play Snake

on it.

What should I do about the quality then?

Because this Wi-Fi is supposed to be— it's

supposed to be 25 megabits upload, but

it's— people keep complaining about the

quality of the stream. Maybe I should rent

that high-speed Wi-Fi again. Last time I

only rented it for a week and it cost me

about £20, so if I was going to rent it

for a month, it would cost like £50.

Get 4G. The high-speed pocket Wi-Fi is 4G.

It's a 4G— oh, look at this place!

It's glowing! I don't know how the

professional Twitch streamers do

it. I know Ice Poseidon, he walks around

with 6 modems or something in his

backpack. I don't really know what that

means. He has— what is

a modem, by the way? I don't know about

computers. He has that backpack full of

video stuff so he can stream everywhere.

It keeps saying very bad connection.

Look at these old cars.

I just wish I could see what the stream

looked like to you guys because I'm

looking at my camera and the quality is

really good, but this isn't actually what

you're seeing, is it? I'm seeing what my

camera is seeing, not what's being

uploaded. I bet it's all blocky,

pixelated. So what, does Ice Poseidon

have a modem box in his bag?

He said he had 6 modems.

I know, I looked it up on Amazon and it

costs about $4,000. For the whole modem

box stuff. He spends loads on it,

and he has a really nice camera, DSLR,

with the Rode microphone. And I'm just

here on my smartphone with a crappy pocket

Wi-Fi. Oh well, we have to start from

somewhere.

Do I walk everywhere? No, I take the train

sometimes. I walk to the train station and

then I walk to where I go.

I want to get my burger out my bag.

I'm reading the comments, if you wanted to

It's just that it's kind of hard to focus

on the chat and walk at the same time.

I don't have any data on my phone. I don't

have a Japanese SIM card.

Oh no, we just missed the green light.

I want to get

my burger, it's going to get cold.

It's all

cold now.

Did she even put this in the microwave?

It's not even warm.

Burger.

I feel so safe walking around in Japan at

nighttime.

I walk around at 1 AM at night and it

feels perfectly safe.

There's always lots of people around.

You can hear me eating.

I'm nearly finished.

Oh,

okay,

next mission, we need to get a drink.

Most exciting livestream ever.

I need a drink really badly.

We're gonna jaywalk.

Japanese people, they never cross the road

unless the light is green, even if there's

no cars. If it's a red light, they They'll

just wait for the green light. I just

cross. Oh, here's a drink machine.

There's bikes all in front of it.

Why'd they put their bikes right in front

of the vending machine? Idiots.

I want this one.

It looks like butt cheeks. Is it peach

flavor? I put too

Give me that nectar.

I'll just leave that ¥10 in

there. Too lazy to get it. The lucky

person who uses the vending machine next

will have my ¥10.

My first girlfriend always used to do that

at the traffic lights, she would just

stand there waiting for the red light to

go green even though there's no cars, and

then I would just cross the road anyway,

and then she wouldn't follow me. She would

just be stubborn and stand there waiting,

and then I'd be standing on the other side

of the road waiting for her, and she

looked like kind of irritated, fed up,

and I was fed up. I was thinking to

myself, why don't you just cross the road?

There's no cars, you idiot. Oh, I have to

Have to wait for a bloody green light to

tell you when to cross.

I need to open my drink now.

Oh look, I matched someone on, um, what,

what's I call it Tinder nectar.

Nectar.

Mm, that's some good peach juice.

If I switch to this camera, it has better

low-light capability. But if I switch to

this camera, then it's just 100%

fabulousness. Fabulousness, is that a

word?

It's not frozen, guys. I don't

think it is.

Another red

It's really hard to talk here. It's too

noisy. I need to go somewhere quiet.

Oh shit,

it's still

pretty warm. I think it's around 20

degrees Celsius.

My stomach hurts,

I'm getting a stitch.

Oh, there's a gap in my fringe. I need

to fix it.

I need to fix my hair.

Well, I hate it when there's this gap. In

my fringe. It looks weird. I don't

understand why it happens. It's because

one part of the fringe is curving to the

right and then the other part is curving

in the opposite direction, and then it

makes this gap. I hate it.

I guess I could tell you about— I haven't

told you guys about one Tinder hookup that

I had on the first week that I came here.

I'm not sure if I want to tell you it.

It's pretty weird.

I'm just walking in a straight line.

Smells really nice here.

You want to see the streets?

Okay,

I just

need to fix my hair first.

Okay,

so I'll tell you about my first Tinder

hookup a few weeks ago. And actually, it

wasn't on Tinder, it was on Japan Cupid.

And I met this Japanese woman, and she

messaged me first, and then she sent me a

bunch of her pictures, and she looks

pretty cute. And then she said she'd like

to meet up with me, so I said okay. And

then when I went to meet her, she was

standing there in the train station, and

she was so fat. She was huge.

She just looked like, like a blob.

Of flesh, but she had a, she had a nice

face. I thought her face was really cute.

And we went to Moss Burger, we bought a

burger, and we went to her workplace. She

owns a hair salon, a beauty salon, and it

was closed at the time. There were no

customers. And we went to her salon and we

sat there and we were eating the burger

and we were talking about relationships

and dating and stuff like that. And then

we were talking about kissing for some

reason, and then I just said, can I kiss

you? And then she said no, and I was like,

oh, okay. And it was really embarrassing

and awkward for about 10 minutes. And then

she asked me to show her pictures of my

family to her, and she sat next to me.

And then I just— I don't know what

happened, but I wasn't thinking, and I

grabbed her hand and I pulled her towards

me, and I just kissed her anyway.

So it's interesting, even if you ask a

girl if she wants to kiss and she says no,

it doesn't mean that she doesn't want to

kiss. I just kissed her anyway and she

didn't stop me. We continued kissing and

then I started touching her leg and then I

put my hand up her skirt and she was

really wet and

then we basically had We, um— oh yeah, I

need to use a new word when I talk about

these things, so I'm not going to use the

word that, that rhymes with FedEx.

I'm going to use a different word. Look at

that dog, that's a scary dog.

So we had cereal on the floor, if you get

what I mean, of her hair salon.

From now on, I think I'm going to use the

My little finger's starting to freeze up.

It was really strange though. I've never

had cereal on the floor of a hair salon

before. It was an interesting experience.

Guys, I'm pretty sure she's not even 41

though. She says she's 41, but can we

really trust anything she says now? You

know, once you start lying, it's kind of

hard to believe what you say afterwards.

There's so many new people today on the

stream. Someone needs to fill them in on

the backstory, on the lore. Oh look,

kickboxing! There's 2 people in there.

Hey,

look at this! It's a nice view.

Someone behind me.

So I'm gonna try to avoid talking about

cereal too much because my videos are

getting age-restricted by those idiots who

keep flagging me. There's a bunch of

people who keep saying, let's report his

videos.

And because I talk about cereal in my

videos, they're getting age-restricted,

and that means I, I don't get any money.

I don't understand why people are saying

I'm lying about being shy.

Why would I lie about being shy? What

would be the benefit? What would be the

point of me pretending to be a shy person.

Just because I seem fairly confident in

videos doesn't mean I'm like that in front

of people. When there's people around, I

don't— I completely change character.

And people are stupid. They keep saying,

how does he meet up with all these girls

if he has social anxiety? The two are

completely unrelated. It. I chat to these

girls for weeks online. I get to know

them, so when I do meet up with them,

it's not like meeting a stranger for the

Oh, people can be so annoying.

Either they don't believe you, and then

when I start putting proof in my videos,

they start saying, he puts— he secretly

films his girlfriends and puts it on

YouTube. But then if I don't film anything

and I don't make any proof, then they say,

he's lying, he doesn't really have a

girlfriend. You can't win.

Oh, there was like a lump in here.

There's like a solid piece of peach in

here. That's weird.

Okay, I want to tell you a bit about this

park. So this is the park that I used

to come to 7 years ago. With my first

Korean girlfriend. We used to ride around

here on our bikes down there.

There was this one time we had a barbecue

party with the house, the guest house,

and for some reason she thought it was her

responsibility to cook all the food. And

she was just sitting there grilling all of

the meat and stuff, and I wasn't really

helping her. I was playing badminton with

her friend And she got really upset. She

was, she was saying, you're not helping

me, you're just playing around badminton.

And then she started sulking. She gave me

the silent treatment. And I was like,

what the hell? It's not like it's your job

to cook all the food. You don't have to

cook all the food. No one said you must

cook all the food. She, she just decided

to cook all the food because she wanted to

for some reason. And then she just rode

off on her bike. To this park without

saying anything,

and I followed her on my bike. I trailed

behind her to see where she was going,

and she came here.

I would love to get a new pocket Wi-Fi.

It's just that it costs money. It's kind

of expensive to rent 2 pocket Wi-Fi when

you're in Japan. I guess I could,

I could rent one for a month, see how it

goes. You know, a separate high-speed

Wi-Fi just for live streaming.

I know the quality is shit on this.

Okay, let's go into the park.

I don't know why Tomoko keeps watching

though. She knows that I'm gonna talk

about girls and relationships and my

current girlfriend, but she insists on

watching everything because she's

obsessed. It's like she enjoys the pain or

something. Now we need to find a bin.

I'm getting stomach cramps.

The whole age restriction stuff really

sucks. To be honest, I was surprised that

my channel wasn't hit by all this

demonetization stuff earlier because 80%

of my videos are talking about serious

And I've still been able to monetize all

of my videos until recently. I think it

was about a week ago, around 15 of my

videos got the yellow dollar sign where it

says this video is not suitable for— it's

not ad-friendly. It still means I still

get some ad revenue, but I don't get 100%

ad revenue because it has said content.

Where's the bin? And loads of my videos

where I talked about race got hit by it.

The ones I talked about racial issues in

Britain, they got the yellow monetization

sign. And 2 of my videos got

age-restricted. The one titled I Like

Older Women— for some reason, the video

talking about older women got

age-restricted. And then my recent video,

what was it called? A few days ago, that

got age-restricted as well. But I did a

request to YouTube to get it reviewed

again. I need to wash my hands.

And they re— they put it back to normal.

Who left this tap on?

So I sent requests to get them manually

reviewed. I don't know how YouTube are

finding out that I'm talking about cereal

in my videos. It can't be some guy sitting

there watching all of them. It has to be

automated, right?

It must be automated. They must have some

kind of voice recognition that picks up

words like cereal. So I just need to stop

saying the word cereal and then hopefully

I won't get flagged by the automated

My little finger keeps freezing up.

The whole thing's rubbish, you know. Even

channels where they don't talk about

cereal, they're getting age-restricted and

flagged. Did you see Abroad in Japan's

video about him moaning about it? How is

Abroad in Japan getting age-restricted and

demonetized? His videos are so

family-friendly. All he does is talk about

Japan and traveling and the good aspects

of Japan. He doesn't talk about cereal or

girls or hooking up. I'm guessing it's the

swearing that's getting his videos in

trouble. He does swear sometimes.

I guess that's a good thing about me. I

never swear. Okay, maybe sometimes I say

the S-word or the F-word, but I'm not

saying it every 10 seconds.

Also, the Anime Man, he was complaining he

also had loads of videos age-restricted,

and he's just talking about anime. What's

wrong with talking about anime? I don't

see why that's not advertiser-friendly.

YouTube is going down the toilet.

I just wonder if my channel is going to be

okay. A lot of people have been saying

stuff like, if lots of people report your

channel, then you'll get banned. A lot of

the haters— you

can't— I'm pretty sure my channel's safe.

Okay, I talk about cereal a lot, but I'm

not talking about racist stuff or hateful

things or extremist things, not like

Eurasian Writer did. I'm not doing

anything against the rules of YouTube.

It's just that the larger my channel gets,

the more worried I get about it. If I only

had 100 subscribers, I wouldn't really

care if my channel got deleted, but it's

taken a long time to get to nearly 6K

subscribers, and if my channel suddenly

got terminated, I would be so depressed.

I would die inside. This is like my baby.

My baby.

Who's Lost Paws?

I know channels like I Hate Everything got

terminated several times because he uses a

lot of clips from movies and stuff like

I'm pretty sure my channel should be safe.

I just need to start— I need to stop

talking about cereal so much. What else

can I talk about?

My channel hasn't had any problems yet.

I'm pretty sure you can't get a YouTube

channel deleted just because a lot of

people don't like the person who's making

the videos. That doesn't make sense.

People, people are so stupid in the

comments. They think they know what

they're talking about when it comes to

YouTube when they know nothing. It's

talking out of their butt cheeks.

So where did that Lost Paws guy get

I wish— you know what I really want? I

wish I had some close friends who were

also doing YouTube and they knew about

YouTube from a content creator's point of

I've never passed 100 viewers on a live

stream. Maybe today will be the first time

ever.

I already collabed with several people,

kind of. I've had shoutouts from several

for fairly larger YouTubers.

Oh, we're at 95 viewers! 5— no,

97! 3 more viewers and we're gonna get

100. First time ever, guys, 100 viewers on

a live stream. Yeah,

exactly, that's what I said. I said if

channels like Sam Pepper or Onision or

LeafyIsHere didn't get deleted, then why

would my channel get deleted? And that

stupid person in the comments called

exactly my point, goes, no, your channel

is irrelevant. Your channel is just a tiny

6K subscriber channel. YouTube won't care

if you got deleted. Those are big YouTube.

What the hell does she know? She's just

some stupid 14-year-old kid. Piss off,

idiots.

Oh, we went down. We went from 97 viewers

to 89. Every time I get excited about

numbers, people just leave to make me

upset on purpose. Yeah, my channel's

kind of like David Bond's. Not that I'm

proud of it, but David Bond's channel's

still around and he does a lot of worse

things than I do. He secretly takes videos

of the girls, like their face,

and pretends they're videos for his mum,

and then he puts it on his website. I

don't take videos like that of my

girlfriends. The most I'll do is take a

sneaky video from behind just to show you

guys that she actually exists.

And yeah, I had a section on my Patreon

that said pictures of my ex-girlfriends

for $3, but they're not naked pictures,

they're not private pictures, they're just

photos of their faces that they use on

things like Facebook anyway. But then

They've made those photos public

themselves. I decided to take that away,

that reward away, replace it with

something else, because I guess it does

kind of make me look bad. Makes me look

like I'm exploiting my ex-girlfriends,

which I guess I kind of am. All the videos

that I talked about my ex-girlfriends,

they've gotten a lot of views, and I have

made some nice money off from talking

about those past relationships. What's

wrong with that?

Okay, let's switch.

Yeah, for some reason I got the last 700

subscribers really quickly. I hit 5K

subscribers and then in the following few

days it, it just jumped up to 5,700. 700.

I'm not sure where this boost is coming

from. No one shouted me out that I know

of. It seems like my recent videos about

Tomoko gave me a lot of views and

exposure.

My hand's hurting. I need a selfie stick

really, but I don't want to be too Weird

I'm on fourchan. Do fourchan still talk

about me? Must be one of those weird

websites like Kiwi Farms. Those websites

so weird.

Nothing really is gonna interesting

happen. Is that even English? Nothing

really interesting is going to happen on

the livestream, guys. I'm not gonna jump

out in front of a bus. I'm not gonna run

into a shop and start screaming. I'm just

chatting. We're just chatting.

This isn't Casey Neistat. I'm not Ice

Poseidon.

Yo dudes, what up dudes? Is that

how Ice Poseidon talks? Ice Poseidon's so

funny though. I love the little, like,

the arm thing he does when he swings his

arm everywhere and he starts waggling his

tongue. Does he do that on purpose?

I don't think I would like it though if I

kept getting arrested during a livestream.

Stream. It would make for interesting

content, but it would get irritating.

The hell was that?

Old people sound really weird when they

speak Japanese.

96 viewers. Can we get to 100? Come on,

guys, don't leave, don't leave me. Why

aren't I jogging? Because, because I don't

jog. It's funny though, it— what time is

it? It's Um, 7 PM, really dark. All these

old people are just out here walking

around, jogging, exercising. You would

never see this back home in England. Back

home in England, the old people, they

don't exercise. They just sit around

watching TV. That's something

that kind of shocked me when I first came

to Japan, seeing how active all the old

people are. They come to the park, they

start doing exercises. They start

stretching and stuff.

Oh, we just— 102 viewers! We hit 102

viewers just now. Oh, it went back down.

Why do people keep leaving? Stop leaving.

It's like when we nearly— it's like when

we nearly got to 3,000 subscribers, and

then people kept unsubscribing so it

wouldn't get to 3,000. Why are people so

immature? Finally, 100 viewers

in a livestream. Did anyone get the

screenshot?

What do you mean he's gone? Who's gone?

You know what I wish they had in Japan?

They have lots of drink vending machines,

but they don't seem to have food vending

machines. I would love to be able to just

buy a hot dog from one of these machines.

That'd be great.

That'd be great.

They have— oh, they have ice cream.

We can get an ice cream. Anyone want to

buy me an ice cream? I'll shout out your

name. I'll confess my love to you on

livestream. I really want choco mint. Do I

have enough money?

Why did I time you out? I didn't time you

What flavor should I get?

I don't want to get my hands Sticky

though. Ah, but I'm

really tempted to— oh, they have soda

sherbets. Is that how you say it?

Okay, let's get choco mint.

Do I have ¥100?

Yes. Where is it?

No change.

Hey, someone gave me 2 Thanks. Ice creams

on you, Dr. Brain. I love

you.

There's someone walking right behind me.

I can hear it. It's making me feel very

uncomfortable.

So, um, how do I— how do

I open this?

ここだけの笑顔アイス。The hell does that mean?

Smiley face ice cream? I saw him walking

right behind me, very loudly.

If I switch the camera around behind me,

he'll see himself in the camera.

I'm gonna make a left turn.

Oh, it's just an old lady. That's fine. I

don't mind if old ladies follow me. They

can follow me all the way back home,

baby.

How do I eat it?

Oh, you have to pull this part off.

I need a bin again. This is so irritating.

Oh, look at that. Did I

just litter? No. Did you see me? I didn't

What does he want me to do for $4?

Give me a Japanese girlfriend. You can

have Tomoko if you want, but she's already

been used by me, so if you don't mind

that. That'd be weird though if our

penises both go into the same place.

It's kind of like gay sex,

isn't it? I always find that weird. Oh

shit, I said— I said the S-word. I mean,

it's kind of like gay sex. Isn't it? I

can't help it.

I need to be more careful.

I remember when my ex from a few years ago

was saying that she used to be in a

relationship with the guest house manager,

and I was kind of friends with the guest

house manager, and I just felt— I just

found it really weird that the manager was

also having cereal with my ex-girlfriend

and that the manager's— we need a new word

for the male appendage. How about— how

about banana? I found

it really weird that the manager's banana

was also in the same place that my banana

was in.

I need to find a bin. There's no bins in

Japan.

Oh, Bin! I found Bin. There's a homeless

person.

Make sure you give some money to the

homeless person.

I just

splashed ice cream on my face. Oh, now

it's gonna get all sticky.

Look at this homeless guy. He's just

setting up his tent in the park.

I think I fixed my hair okay. The gap's

gone. I'm not balding. Look at the

homeless guy.

I'm gonna

sit down for a bit. Ah,

streaming is hard work, guys.

Mint flavor ice cream.

I haven't seen the Canadian guy for ages.

Why do I sit cross-legged? Because it

feels nice.

Because I'm British boy, innit? All

British. British boys sit like this.

What's that sound?

There's some— I don't know,

some Japanese person using a megaphone.

Oh, it's dripping. Oh shit, I'm leaking

ice cream. This is why I hate ice cream.

Oh, melkin.

Wait, I want

to finish my ice cream, then we're going

to find out who's talking.

Oh,

it's so

The real reason why I cross my legs is to

reduce sperm production so that I can have

cereal and not impregnate the woman.

It's working so far. I don't have any

bastards around.

I'm dripping everywhere.

Oh fuck, I'm making a mess.

Maybe I should do like you, Dr. Brain.

Maybe I should get vasectomy as well.

But then if girls find out that I can't

have kids, then they might not want to

date me if they want to have kids.

Now my hand's covered in ice cream.

That's my problem with a vasectomy. If I

say to the girlfriend, it's okay, I have a

vasectomy, I can, I can

finish inside you, then she might say,

oh, that means you can't have kids, let's

break up.

I don't know how many girls would get into

relationships with guys if they knew that

there was no possibility of having kids.

Depends if the girl wants kids or not.

And yeah, the guy could be lying. I could

just say, I had a vasectomy, it's okay,

don't worry. How do you know he actually

had a vasectomy though? The girl would

have to really trust him or be really

gullible.

Maybe I should say that next time.

I've had several ex-Japanese girlfriends

who wanted me to get them pregnant. 2014

girlfriend, she really wanted to get

pregnant. Same as the single mother

girlfriend, she was the same.

Who's playing a saxophone? I need to wash

my hands again. Let's go back to the

homeless guy. And put this in the bin.

So how's the— oh, he packed up his tent.

I thought he was setting it up. I guess he

was packing it up. Maybe he's moving.

That's the great thing about being

homeless, you can just move house anytime

you want. Oh, I dropped it on the floor.

I need to wash my hands really badly.

You should be homeless for one night. I

already tried that. I was kicked out by my

girlfriend a few years ago and I had to

spend the night on the street. Maybe I

should do it again for a livestream.

Spending the night homeless in Japan

Oh, please don't go. We're having such a

nice time together. It's like a date.

A date with Daniel. Everyone wants to know

what I'm like on dates. How do I— what are

my moves when it comes to the ladies?

Maybe you'll find out tonight.

Someone lick my fingers.

Can I see comments when I'm walking? Yes,

I can.

Hell no. Oh, hell no,

man. That's my American accent. Accent.

Did you like it? Did you like it? Is that

a toilet over there? It looks like a

really fancy toilet.

Guys, who would be interested in a

homeless livestream? We could do it

tonight, why not? It's nearly nighttime

anyway. Just stay in the park. We can get

one of those blue plastic sheets, live

like the homeless guys. We have internet,

we have Wi-Fi, we We have batteries, we

have ice cream vending machines. I don't

think this is a toilet. Is it a toilet?

It looks really posh. Look at this toilet.

Can you see this toilet? It looks like—

oh, look, it's a doggy. This toilet looks

better than most housing in England does.

It is a toilet.

My hands are all sticky with some kind of

trans— translucent fluid. Is that

the word? Sometimes I wish my English was

a bit better. Maybe we shouldn't film

inside of the toilets.

Is anyone here? There's no one here

anyway. Oh look, you can see my shirt.

Oh, it's automatic. Nice.

Oh, that's good.

Someone's coming. Japanese toilet.

My hand's all wet. Oh, it stinks

in here. Why do toilets always smell

so bad?

Phew, my hand is no longer sticky.

Oh, my finger keeps getting frozen. Look

at it. Oh,

that's weird.

You know, sometimes I feel a bit lonely.

I wish I had someone that I could

livestream with. I just haven't made

any effort to meet people in the guest

house. Yeah, hey Sato, thanks for the

fiver. I haven't seen you for a while.

Where have you been? You used to be on

Discord all the time, then you suddenly

disappeared for ages.

I've just completely given up on the guest

house. I don't even bother talking to

people anymore. All I do is I look for the

Canadian guy. If the Canadian guy is not

there, then I just go straight to my room.

Why am I wearing socks and sandals?

Because it's comfortable. Just slip

them on and go outside. Who's making that

freaking noise? Can you hear that?

I got a job, have no more time for

Discord. Oh, that sucks. Should we find

out what that noise is? Yeah, I have a

Discord. I usually link it in

the description of my videos. Someone's

playing a saxophone. It's not even a song,

it's just playing one tone.

These are slippers that I bought on Amazon

in the UK before I came here. They're

really nice. I wish I bought 2 pairs

because I don't change my slippers when I

go outside and then I come back in and I

wear them. I need outside slippers

and indoor slippers.

I don't know what the video quality is

like. That guy with the megaphone is still

I'm gonna

plug in my battery.

Oh, he's over there. Hold on,

I'm gonna plug my battery in first.

That's so creepy. It's just

a guy sitting there on the bench blowing

into his saxophone.

Okay, we have battery power.

Is it

charging? I think so.

Where is he? Is that a woman?

I don't think you can see him anyway.

He's right over there.

Sometimes I wish I was more like Ice

Poseidon. He can just walk into anywhere

and just go, hey, how's it going? I'm Ice

Poseidon. There's no way I could do that.

Sometimes I wish I could though, but he's

so obnoxious. You can tell the people

around him are really irritated, and he

just— he either doesn't realize it or he

doesn't care.

I can't do it. I'm too worried about

irritating people.

Wow, we have 111 viewers!

This is so cool.

I've never had over 100 viewers on a live

stream before.

Pardon me.

You know, people make fun of people that

have autism and stuff like that. They use

it as an insult. Do you have autism? But

autism is funny, you I mean, look at Mr.

Bean. Can you imagine if Mr. Bean did live

streaming? That would be hilarious.

I guess Ice Poseidon is kind of like the

modern-day Mr. Bean, but he has, he has a

live stream.

Mr. Bean must have severe autism.

Okay, what are we doing now? What are we

Even Einstein had autism. Nothing wrong

with having autism.

It's a little doggy.

Da da da da da da.

Did you see that woman jogging? Did you

see that Japanese woman who just jogged

past me? She had amazing boobs and they

were jiggling up and down like hell.

I wish I could just approach women and say

I think you're physically attractive.

Should I try now since I'm— well, I guess

I'm not single. I keep forgetting I have—

I kind of have a girlfriend, don't I? But

for some reason she doesn't feel like my

girlfriend. I guess she is my girlfriend.

I guess I could tell you guys a bit about

her. I don't really want to get her

involved with the channel though. I want

to keep her completely separate this time,

but we've already slept together. I stayed

off at her house. I stayed— I stayed up—

I stayed over at her house.

She's fairly nice. She's She's 36 years

old. Um, she's really short.

I guess you already know since I made a

video talking about her.

I've known her for about 10 days, nearly 2

weeks now, and I've met her for

about 3 days. The first day we went to

karaoke all night and we had dinner, and

then the second day We had dinner again

and I went back to her place. We slept

together and then we spent the next day

together just lying around in bed and

talking and stuff like that. She has

black hair. She has shoulder-length black

hair. For some reason, all the women who

are interested in me, they don't have long

hair. They have shoulder-length or above

shoulder-length. For some reason, I can't

get a girl girlfriend who has long hair.

It's like the feminine girls aren't

interested in me. Oh, what's this over

here? More saxophonage,

but this person's actually playing a tune

this time. I feel like

the feminine girls aren't interested in me

because feminine girls, when they want a

masculine guy to protect them so they can

act all feminine and little girly, and

because I come across as feminine as well,

I don't I don't seem like I have the

ability to protect a feminine girl. So the

kind of girl who's interested in me is a

girl who doesn't need someone to protect

them. A non-feminine girl. An independent

woman. Oh, to be

perfectly honest, I'm not interested in—

I'm not interested in feminine girls.

I prefer a mature lady who is independent.

Who has her own career, who has her job.

Okay, let's listen to this guy play really

depressing saxophone music.

Why is this

so depressing?

Maybe I should stop laughing.

Shit, he stopped playing. Did he— was it

because I was laughing at him? Oh, I

thought he heard me laughing.

So weird.

Live music.

I can't stop laughing.

This is so funny when people play

instruments really badly.

He wasn't playing it that badly, I guess.

It was— it sounded kind of tragic. Oh,

there's people practicing BMX.

BMX riders, yeah. I used to do BMX

when I was 14 years old. 14 years old.

Oh, this bit sounds pretty good.

This park is gigantic.

BMX dude is following me.

Why haven't I been beaten up by teenage

gangs yet? Because this is Japan,

not England. It's a civilized country.

The reason why I like Japan is because

there's so many old people, and old people

don't intimidate me. Young people

intimidate me. The thing I hate most about

England is all the gangs of chavs and

young kids roaming around. I prefer

old people. I don't like kids. I don't

like young people. All the

kids, they should just stay at school

until they grow up, and then they can be

released into the world.

Jeepers creepers.

Where'd those people go?

You know, if I was with a girlfriend right

now, we could enter this foresty area here

behind the bushes and we can have cereal.

But it's completely dark, secluded. I

don't think anyone would notice. My

current girlfriend, she really likes

hugging and kissing in public.

She just stands there looking at me like

she's waiting for me to kiss her. So I'm

like, okay, I'll kiss you in the train

station in front of all of these people.

This person's being really loud and

irritating.だから警察が喜ぶようなことを僕はやっているつもりだ。Bee

bee bee bee bee bee! Shut up!

Interrupting my livestream. Ah, now was I

saying? Um.

Old people sound so

funny.

Oh,なるほどなるほどわかった。I think if I keep using

the with cereal, people are eventually

going to catch on to what I mean.

My current girlfriend's face, is it

pretty? I think she has a nice face.

Aesthetically pleasing, her face is.

She doesn't have weird proportions. For

her features, she has a nice nose, her

eyes are nice, she has an average,

average-sized lips, nice chin.

Everything's fine. But the worst thing

about her face, the only complaint that I

have about her face is her skin isn't that

great. It's prone to getting pimples.

You can see the acne scars.

But when the lighting is a bit dark you

can't really notice it and she looks

really pretty.

My face gets a lot of pimples as well and

it's pretty freckly, but she doesn't mind.

She says my face is really pretty.

She just stares at my face and she says,

you have a really well-built face, you

have a really nice face. And I'm like,

okay, thanks. Japanese girls, they really

like the half-Asian, half-white face

because you have some Western features,

but it's not full-blown Western features,

so it's not too overpowering. If you had a

completely white boyfriend, then then he

would stand out a lot if he's in Asia. He

would just look so white. But because I'm

only half white, I can blend in with the

crowd, but at the same time I still have

those prominent Western features like the

high nose, the defined eyes,

the strong brow that Japanese people kind

What do you mean this isn't live?

123 viewers! Can we get to 200 viewers on

the livestream?

Well, I'm still losing battery even though

my battery bank's plugged in. That's

I'm not showing you her photo. I'm keeping

her completely private this time.

I don't want some weirdo finding out who

she is and then telling her about my

YouTube channel. It's completely pitch

black over there.

You don't get how it's a celebration? How

is this not a celebration?

We had, we had a burger, and then we had a

peach nectar drink, and then we had a

choco mint ice cream. This is the best

celebration of the year.

Ryan Boundless is the father I never had.

Can you imagine if Ryan Boundless was my

dad? My mum's really upset

about my YouTube channel. She keeps

messaging me saying stuff like, stop

making silly videos, stop talking about

cereal. She said she had a nightmare where

I got HIV and I was dying and my dad was

carrying me in his arms and then I died

and then they had to bury me. She was

really upset about it. I said, don't worry

about it, this is my job now, don't take

it seriously. I say I'm just exaggerating,

I'm playing a character, just doing it for

views. Don't worry about it,

Mum. My dad doesn't talk about it.

He says he stopped watching my YouTube

channel because it made him feel like he

failed me as a father,

which— that's kind of sad as well, isn't

My dad doesn't show any interest. I just

tell him it's like EastEnders, you know.

On EastEnders, everyone lives these crazy

overdramatic lives because it's

entertaining. What was that?

It's a cat. It's kind of like Facebook.

When you post stuff on Facebook, you only

post the most interesting things of your

life on Facebook. So from another person's

perspective, it looks like your life is

amazingly interesting, but it's not.

You're just posting the interesting parts

of your life. It's kind of the same with

YouTube. I'm not actually that

cereal-obsessed like you guys think. It's

just that I make a large number of videos

about relationships, and when it comes to

relationships, there is going to be talk

about cereal.

If you met me in real life, I'm nothing

like I am in videos.

I don't even talk about cereal.

My coworker at the petrol station, he

would talk about cereal all the time, and

I used to find it really irritating. He

would talk— he would tell me about all

these— let these idiots pass.

My coworker from the petrol station, he

used to tell me about all the girls he

slept with, and he used to tell me these

stories, and to be honest, I didn't care,

and I felt really awkward telling him

about my experiences. I don't feel awkward

at all talking about cereal on videos,

but I don't like talking about it to

people in real life.

My arm's killing me. Ah, the petrol

station job. I hated it so much. The first

few months, the Nepal guy, he used to talk

to me. We used to talk about stuff. And

then as time went on, I found him to be

more and more irritating, and then we just

stopped talking. We would both be standing

behind the till in complete silence

for hours.