Lunch With Daniel - Sausage Sandwiches

It's

a happy day today.

Another day.

Fix my hair.

3 Daniels here for you for

lunch.

Who remembers the orange grill? It's been

a long time. When was the last time I used

this grill? I think it was last year.

In November,

I think there's still gas left.

Should have bought an extra canister.

Why do they call gas canisters in Japan

bombays? Bombe.

Air bombe.

I had no idea these were called bombays.

It's not Not English. What language did

they steal that word from? Why don't they

just call it gas gas can, gas can?

Why they have to call it weird word? What

the hell's a bombay? Stupid.

I remember when I first got this, I was so

scared to put the gas in. I thought it was

going to explode. If it was so easy to

explode, I don't think it's, uh,

so dirty. I need to clean this yuck.

Uh, it's all covered in grease. Very

Couple of days on YouTube. For some

reason, everything's getting demonetized.

I made a video about bullying that got

demonetized. I made one about this

YouTuber called Apple Milk that got

demonetized, and I requested a manual

review and they, they approved it for

monetization, but I took it down again

because I want to make it a bit better. I

have no idea why it's getting demonetized.

There's nothing sexual in the video. I

never say sexual words. I don't swear.

I just talked about who she was and

what happened to her, and it keeps getting

demonetized. There's something in the

video that's triggering it, and I don't

know what it is. I must have said a word

that triggered the AI. Wouldn't it be nice

if they told you what's triggering the AI

so that if you said the word fuck, and

that's causing the video to get

demonetized. It'd be nice if it said that

the word fuck is making your video

demonetized so you could just edit it out.

Why don't they tell you? It would save so

much time. Now I have to wait

an entire day, 24 hours, for the YouTube—

the YouTube team to review it. It's so

noisy here. Uh, there's at least 2

construction sites going on. There's a

building being built that way and there's

another building being built over there.

Constant drilling sounds, all these big

heavy trucks coming in and out. And then

to make matters worse, we live underneath

a flight path, so every 10 minutes there's

a plane flying over. It's driving me

crazy. So noisy.

It's so hard to make a video when You

need to concentrate and you're trying to

get nice audio, and then every 10 minutes

there's a plane flying over interrupting

you, or there's a drill going on.

So annoying.

So I'm waiting for 2 videos to get

approved for monetization. My bullying

one, I think it's because I talked a bit

about depression. I mentioned earlier I

was a bit depressed, and I talked a bit

about depression in my bullying video.

Maybe that's what's triggering the

monetization thing. I have a 3rd video up,

so that can go up tonight.

The videos aren't doing very well

recently, struggling to get views. I'm not

sure why. It's just so weird because a

couple weeks ago I was getting really good

views. I was getting like 37K views every

time, and then all of a sudden people

just— about 20,000 people lost interest

all at once.

Maybe people aren't interested anymore

because I'm back with my wife. I don't

understand people. Why does that make them

not interested? What was so interesting

when I was single?

The only difference was I was meeting

girls. What's so fascinating about that?

It's a little bit annoying. I don't really

know what to do to get views now. Wife

stuff isn't getting views.

Maybe I'll go back to talking about

experiences. I want to make one talking

about prostitution, my experiences with

prostitution in Japan. I need to be very

careful with words though, I don't want to

get it demonetized. I think that might

get views. It's about Japan, it's about

sex. People like sex, don't they? Every

time I make a video about sex, it gets

views.

I'm thinking— well, I was thinking about

getting a proper sex doll, like a full

body one. That would definitely get views,

but it's so expensive. They cost at least

$1,000, up to $2,000 for

a good one, and I'm not gonna make $2,000

on a video unless it gets 2 million views,

which it probably won't.

Such a hassle though, having to get one.

I don't know how they would carry it up

the stairs. I would have to go down and

help them, and then I have to clean it.

Although it would be quite fun. They're

very realistic. It would be quite fun just

having a sex doll, like a proper full-size

one on my bed, so I

could use it whenever I wanted to. I get

pretty bored staying at home all day not

doing much. It'd be nice to have a sex

doll to have sex with now and then.

It's a lot of money. I don't really want

to spend a lot of money when my channel's

dying, and it might even get

demonetized even if I made the video.

I don't think it would. My last sex doll

video didn't get demonetized as long as I

don't show it naked.

The second channel's doing okay. I'm

making iPad videos now. Maybe I'll rename

it to The

iPad Guy and I'll just make videos about

my iPad. Maybe if I just put more videos

on the second channel to try and make

up for the loss in views on my main

channel. That should help.

What was that?

You have to think of it like this. Okay,

I'm getting less views now, but my cost

of living is insanely cheap compared to

when I was single and I was going to

Germany and stuff. Yeah, I was getting 4

times the views back then, but my expenses

were so expensive I wasn't even making any

money because I was spending it all on

hotels and planes and sex

dolls. So even though the views were more

a couple months ago, I'm making

more money now because My rent's so cheap

and I don't go anywhere. So always look on

the bright side, always look on the bright

side. Makes things easier, makes it easier

to fall asleep.

Leak my nudes for content? I already did

that. I made a video saying stop leaking

my nudes. I only got 22k views, but it did

very well for money. My recent videos have

done really badly for money, and my last—

my mukbang video only made $20. Jesus

Christ, I spent so much time and effort

making it. This makes you feel like,

what's the point of spending time and

putting effort into things when it

doesn't pay off? And you— and it— you get

more rewarded when you just do some shitty

rant in front of the mirror. Or you do

some stupid video called My Problem with

Rachel and Jun, which I put on my second

channel. That made $40, only has 10K

views. I might do one on the Anime Man and

then Aki Dearest,

make fun of how fat she is.

Well, hopefully my second channel— I'll

put more effort into my second channel.

I'll call it— what should I call it? I

want it to be all about the iPad, and I

can talk about the iPad and compare it to

other things, and then talk about updates

like the new iPadOS. I'm quite passionate

about my iPad. I've got a

lot of things I could say about the Anime

Man. Like how he's the 20-year-old man who

still watches anime. I can make fun of

him. It's not serious.

I don't really hate him. Couldn't care

less about him. But I need

money. I need views so I can buy food

so I don't starve.

And it's pretty funny trolling other

people's fan bases. They get so angry.

Have you seen the comments on my Rachel

and Jun video from all their fans?

They're so angry, it's hilarious. They get

so upset because I said bad things about 2

people they don't even know in real life.

Pathetic. The whole fandom thing

is just so sad.

They become all defensive over their

favorite YouTubers. Get a life.

So we spent 12 minutes cleaning this.

Be funny if there's no gas and then I just

wasted all this time cleaning it. It's

quite fun cleaning it actually. Maybe I'll

make this into a series, series.

Let me check my analytics.

Let me guess, this stupid apple milk video

got demonetized. Oh, it's monetized.

That's weird. I bet you anything as soon

as I set it to public, it'll get

demonetized. Maybe it's because I put the

word dead channels in thumbnail.

Look, I've got 3 videos ready to

go. One of them's waiting for review.

I ripped off the 3 types of foreigners I

don't like in Japan from Nobita. He got a

lot of views on that. He got nearly a

million views on that, so I thought, why

don't I give it a try? Maybe I can piss

more people off. It seems like the way to

get views is by pissing people off.

That's what's worked for me personally.

And Nobita was pretty good at pissing

people off, wasn't he?

Do you like my hair? I haven't cut my

hair since I left England. Do you remember

the video before I left England? I shaved

this bit off and it was really short.

It's still pretty short. I think it looks

good like this though. I might start

trimming it to keep this length. This

bit's getting really long.

I need to trim it. Can you please

just be a comic artist? Well, have you

seen how many views my illustrated stuff

got? If I got views on my illustrated

stuff, then yeah, I'd do more illustrated

stuff, but they aren't getting views. The

drawing my ex-girlfriend's video did okay

for views, but that's because it was About

girlfriends again. The mukbang video did

really badly, and the watch time on it is

terrible. People didn't even watch more

than a quarter of it. The average

retention for watch time on my mukbang

video is like 2 minutes. I spent all that

time doing all those drawings, and it just

feels like no one gave a shit. So I feel

like, why should I give a shit putting

effort into doing drawings when people

don't want to see it anyway?

Your fan base doesn't care about it.

Yeah, my fan base is shit. Not you guys,

you guys are great. But I'm gonna be

completely honest here, I fucking hate my

subscribers. 80% of

the people sub to me are complete cunts.

You guys are great, I'm not talking about

you guys. The 90% of

the people sub to me just want to see me

fail and want to see me suffer and be in

misery. They all don't want to see me do

anything good or anything cool. They don't

care when I put effort into things.

You guys are great though, I'm not talking

about you guys. Oh, thank you, Conshon.

Become a programmer? I tried. I learned

Objective-C and I made some iPad apps.

Didn't make any money though, made like

$4.

It's so annoying because I make negative

videos like why I hate my wife or my

wife is so annoying, and then I get all

this backlash. People telling me that I

shouldn't make videos like that, calling

me a weirdo, but then it gets 50k views.

And then when I make a positive-ish video

or I make a video that has some creativity

in it or I put effort into doing artwork,

it gets shit views. And then people wonder

why I make negative videos, like saying

horrible things about people. It's because

it gets views. If people watched— if I got

40K views on my drawing stuff or my more

creative stuff, then I'd make more of

that.

But no, all they want to— all they watch

are the negative stuff, and then they

complain when I keep making more negative

stuff. Isn't it so stupid? If people want

to see positive creative stuff, then why

don't they click on my creative positive

stuff? But no, all my negative stuff gets

all the views. That's what pisses me off

about people. They ask stupid questions

like, why would you make a video like

this? Um, because it gets views. Why else?

But there's plenty of videos I want to

make that I'm actually interested in

making because I'm interested in the

topic, but I don't make it because I don't

think it would get views. The Apple Milk

video, for example, I don't think it's

going to get views, but I made it anyway

because it was something I'm interested in

personally. I'm actually interested in

what happened to her. And talking about

her. So I made it anyway. I'm not getting

views now anyway, so I thought, oh, might

as well start making videos about things

I'm actually interested in.

What's the worst that's gonna happen? Am I

gonna stop? Am I gonna get less views?

I want to make one about Star Wars

Galaxies. That's not gonna get views

either. Uh,

I think the one about prostitution would

get views, and I am interested in talking

about it. I just have to avoid saying

the word prostitution or sex. I could say

paying for cereal, or I could say working

ladies. I think that should be safe.

Oh, it's so frustrating trying to get

views, you know.

Why is it so difficult for me? I feel

like it's really difficult for me to get

views. I have to go to such great lengths

to get views. Film my dad's funeral,

got divorced, made all my arguments

public. And then Ben Dean eats another

fucking pizza and gets 100K views.

I wish I could get 100K views from eating

a pizza. Why do I have to put so much

effort into coming up with titles and

interesting stuff to get people to click,

and then people like Ben Dean, they

barely— they get out of bed and order a

pizza, and that's all they have to do. It

pisses me off. I feel like it's not fair.

It's like I have to put in so much effort

just to get 20K views, and then people

like Zach Choi get 2 million just for

doing the same thing over and over and

over again. What's so special about them?

Why, why is everyone against me?

It feels like everyone hates me.

Is my content so bad? I don't know how

my— I don't know how content could be any

more boring than just watching a guy

eating a pizza.

It can't just because— it can't just be

because of, of the gear.

So I don't think me getting a fancy camera

would make any difference.

What's so interesting about pizza? I don't

get it. I'm not

saying my content is the most fascinating,

interesting stuff in the world. It's just

me and my life experiences. But how come

some guy eating a pizza is more

interesting to more people?

It just makes no sense what gets views and

what doesn't.

I don't think editing and the camera you

use— I don't think any of that matters.

It's all about what the video is about.

All, all the other things like editing and

having nice gear, they're just bonuses.

They don't— people don't watch stuff

because the editing's good or because the

gear's good. They watch it because the

core subject of the video interested them.

And then people like Ben Dean, they don't

even have edits. There's not even any jump

cuts. He just switches the camera on and

then switches it off after he's finished

eating. There's no editing on Ben Dean's

channel. I don't really know what editing

you want to see. I'm just talking. I edit

out the bits when I stutter or I

mispronounce things, or the bits when I go

blank.

You talk about visiting prostitutes. How

is that interesting? Because it's about

sex and women. People find sex and women

interesting. Nobita's videos on

prostitution in Japan got loads of views.

Millions. I bet mine won't even get 20K.

I think my channel's been blacklisted. If

Nobita's channel hasn't been blacklisted,

why would mine be? I think Nobita's

channel is way more controversial than

mine is.

He had that viral video saying that black

people are more violent or something that

got millions, got loads of dislikes.

I just feel very depressed about making

content right now. It's just not very—

doesn't— I don't jump out of bed feeling

excited to make stuff anymore. I used to,

maybe last year,

and people kept calling me names, kept

saying I was a jerk and stuff.

Oh, thank Thank you, Mark. Why'd you

disable TTS? Because I stopped using

Streamlabs and I'm just streaming off of

the YouTube app. Can't be bothered

anymore. People weren't donating anyway,

so I just felt like, what's the point of

streaming on Streamlabs if no one's

donating anyway? Might as well just stream

off YouTube. It's easier, the interface is

better. Streamlabs just looks like an ugly

app. Don't like the interface.

Include dimples in your videos. Even when

I put my wife in the videos now, they

don't get views. Got 20K for the USJ one,

20K for the cooking one. I guess people

don't care about my wife either now. Last

year when it was all a big secret and I

was hiding her face Everyone was

interested in seeing what she looked like,

so when I first started showing her, then

those videos were getting loads of views.

I guess they're bored of her. People just

get bored really quickly, but then when it

comes to Ben Dean, they don't get bored.

Really weird. People don't get bored of

Rachel and Jun either.

If you've seen Rachel and Jun's video,

the recent one, It's just called We Did

Stuff for a Day, and it has over 200k

views already. And they're doing the most

boring stuff ever. They did some

gardening, they did some weeding, and then

they talked about their cats again, and

then Jun did some cooking. That was it.

How come people don't get bored of all

that rubbish, but then all of a sudden

when it comes to my channel, people always

like, oh, you're boring now. Because you

got married, you're boring now because

you're not effing random girls in Germany,

you're not getting STDs, no more crazy

stories, boring.

How come it's okay for Rachel and Jun to

be boring as fuck, but when I'm boring no

one cares? Hey look, I'm boring as well,

I'm cleaning the table. Uh, Rachel— when

Jun cleans his pots, he gets 2 million

views.

So unfair.

As if Rachel and Jun are interesting.

They're the most bland, mundane people you

could ever imagine. There's nothing

interesting about Jun. Yeah, he can cook

well. So? So can a million chefs in

Japan. It's not something rare. It's not

really unique to be able to

cook. Loads of people can cook.

It's like 100 million sushi videos on

YouTube. He just slices things with a very

sharp knife. Wow, fascinating.

It's not interesting. I don't get it. Why

can't those people who watch their boring

channel watch my boring channel?

Oh, because I'm not likable. People don't

like me. Well, I'm so sorry that

I'm not likable.

Why are people so against rude people

nowadays? Back in the day, you know, rude

people They were popular, like Leafy,

Keemstar. Now people just

want a bunch of pussies like Rachel and

Jun because they're nice and they don't

offend anyone. They don't upset people.

And people are so afraid of everything,

afraid of being offended. But when

anyone's slightly rude, then they get

their panties in a twist and they go, oh,

you rude, I don't like you, like a little

baby. Little pussy baby.

Now back in the early days of the

internet, everyone was like this, you

know, calling each other pussies and

retards. Now the people of today, they

couldn't handle being on the internet back

when I was on the internet, back in the

days of Xbox. You wouldn't last a day,

you'd start crying to your mummy because

people being rude. Fuck off.

Stupid bunch of pussies. How dare you

talk like that! Shut up.

You wouldn't last a day where I come from.

So sick people complain about

me being broke. All the time.

Daniel's not nice. Wow, wow, wow.

Jun's nice. Go suck his

dick then.

The internet used to be fun, you kids.

You don't know what it was like back in

the day. The YouTube was— I mean, the

internet was wild and fun. People didn't

give a shit about being politically

correct. Those were the good old days.

Now you just get a bunch of bloody

pansies. My grandfather fought

in the war. He'd be rolling in the grave

to see what society has become today.

People crying about people being rude on

the internet. Go try fighting in the

trenches. Then we'll see who's crying.

This makes you sick. Millions of people

died in the Battle of the Somme fighting

in the trenches for what?

Now, 2019, bunch of people whinging and

crying because some people rude on the

internet. Should have just let,

let what's his name— not Hitler, the other

guy. The guy Bismarck should let him win.

What did we win? What did we fight for?

Bunch of pansies crying on the internet

because Daniel's a jerk. Get a life.

I'm so sick of it.

I hate when people say, oh, Daniel used to

be nice. I was just faking it. I was just

pretending to be nice. I can't fake it

anymore. It's driving me crazy. You know

what it's like faking it, trying to

pretend to be someone you're not? Drives

you crazy. Yeah,

I'm not Jun. I'm not a little

goody-two-shoes. I'm not politically

correct. I'm so sorry about that.

So sorry I'm not up to your standards.

Try my best.

I hate a lot of people say, oh, Daniel

used to be nice,

now he's a jerk.

I was supposed to go to immigration today,

but I got too lazy. Maybe I'll go next

I have to go to immigration to extend my

tourist visa,

then I can stay until December.

Oh, thank you, Margo. YouTube drama used

to be the shit. I know, 2016 Golden days

of YouTube. I loved all that drama stuff

between Leafy and Keemstar, iDubbbz.

Those were good days, you know. Now it's

just Rachel and Jun bullshit.

There's nothing good on YouTube anymore.

2016, best year ever.

Loved it.

I miss Leafy.

I wish she would come back.

I feel like I have the wrong audience,

you know? It's weird. It's like the

audience I built It doesn't match who I am

as a person. It's like I've somehow

gotten this audience of people who like

people like Rachel and Jun. Then why are

they watching me? I fail to attract

the type of audience that matches me as a

person. Really weird, isn't it? People

keep expecting me to be this person I'm

not.

Maybe it's because I started making like

really sappy,

girly, poofy videos like my experiences

with depression.

For example, Coach Red Pill made a video

recently about how women and men can't be

friends, and it has like 80K views. It

only has a couple hundred dislikes. I also

made a video called Why Men and Women

Can't Be Friends, and it got like a 50%

dislike ratio. For only 20K views.

Coach Phillip was great. I love him.

I wish he was my dad. Whoa,

fire!

Hopefully I've got

enough gas. Your audience,

SJWs. I know, I have so many SJWs and

feminist type people in my audience that

get outraged at everything I say. And then

it just makes you wonder, why are you

subbed to me? Why are you watching my

stuff if everything I say pisses you off

that much? Go watch Rachel and Jun.

Why are you watching me?

I really don't get it. I put out the type

of content I put out, but I've attracted

the audience, the type of audience who

don't like my content. Really weird.

I think people are questioning themselves

why they watch me, hence the low views.

They've given up. I think people wanted to

fix me, make me into a better person, and

then they kind of saw that I'm just

becoming worse in their eyes, so they,

they've given up trying to fix me and

trying to give me advice. But every time I

upload a video, I'd get hundreds of people

trying to give me advice when I never

asked for advice.

People writing essays in the comments

trying to help me.

And don't give me that whole, oh, because

your content's the same all the time. So

Ben Dean's video is the same every time.

Rachel and Jun's videos are the same same

every time. Zach Choi's videos are the

same every time. How come it's

okay for them to make the exact same

content every time, but for me, why am I

held up such a high standard? Why do

people think I should have to make such

groundbreaking— such a variety of

groundbreaking, amazing stuff every time,

or else I can't even get 20K views? Why

can't I make the same stuff over and over

I bet you anything if Ben Dean was doing

this, he would have 1,000 viewers in his

livestream, or if it was a

video, he'd have 200k views.

Are you jealous of Jun? Yeah, I am.

It's not fair. Everyone loves Jun

and everyone hates me.

I didn't do anything wrong.

Oh fuck, I burned it. Oh, it's moving!

Look, did you see that? It shriveled up.

I want to fry the bread.

Look, it's bending upwards like it's In

pain. Look, look, look, look!

It looks like a Latino girl's pussy.

Do you think it's cooked?

I think it's cooked.

Okay, get that bread. I've got some French

bread. It's called France pan.

Shio butter.

Jun cooks better than me? Oh please, Jun

cooks pussy food for pansies. I make real

man's food. Sausage and eggs,

bacon and eggs. Scrambled eggs on toast,

baked beans on toast. That's real man's

food. I don't make that little woman wussy

food like Jun does with his little flower

petals, carving his cucumber

into a little rose like a pufta.

I make real men— man's cooking.

This is real cooking, not that.

Artsy-fartsy stuff.

This is how a man cooks, and Jun— that's

not how a man cooks. Jun cooks like a

woman.

Okay, I think it's done.

Oh, thank you, Hiding in My Apartment,

for your generous contribution.

But that's a proper man's sandwich. You

know, no faffing around, no little petals,

no flowers, no carving things into bloody

roses. Just a sausage on some bloody

fried bread.

Don't do that fancy shit here.

This is Dan's kitchen.

Where's my knife?

Lost my knife. Oh,

it's over here.

If you

don't like sausage sandwiches, there's

something seriously wrong with you. How

could you not like a sausage sandwich?

It's delicious.

See, look at that, it's like a sushi.

But it actually tastes good, actually has

flavor.

Let me move the frying pan away.

Put the sausages to medium.

Ow, it's hot.

Okay,

YouTube,

do you know what I found out recently?

Apparently my wife's mum walks past this

area quite often.

She walked— there's a road outside the

building, obviously, and apparently my

wife's mum walks down it to go to the gym

or something. And her mum said to her,

how come you leave the windows open when

you go to work? It was actually me because

I'm here. I leave the windows open because

it's hot. I said to my wife, wouldn't it

be funny if she came up and rang the

doorbell thinking that you were here with,

with the windows open, and it's actually

me. I said, what should I do if your mum

comes and rings the door? Her mum has a

key as well to the place, so she could

just let herself in, and then she'll see

me here. She'll be like, what are you

doing back here? I thought you broke up.

I don't even know what her reaction would

be if we just randomly bumped into

her mum or her sister. Outside when we go

shopping. That'd be so awkward.

And apparently her sister's husband is

also 7 years younger than her. Isn't that

funny? It runs in the family. I thought

her husband was around the same age as

her. Her husband is 29 and her sister is

36, so there's a

7-year age difference between those 2,

and there's an 8-year Age difference

between me and my wife. Oh, thank you,

Oliver. I haven't tried it yet, should be

yummy. Uh, my wife is 38, I'm 30,

her sister is 36, and her husband's 29.

So I'm older than the policeman husband,

but he has 2 kids and he has a proper job.

Oh, Raone, thank you for the CRPs. I'm not

sure what that is. I think you're a

genius, can I make a video about you?

Sure you can. Videos about me usually gets

views. I'm not trying to brag, but every

time some little channel has made a video

about me, they've gotten thousands of

views. And Elvis the Alien got a million

views just talking about me.

Oh wow,

oh, that's a good sandwich.

Holy shit,

that's good!

The French bread is all buttery. I didn't

even need to put butter on it.

That is the best sausage sandwich I've

ever made.

Holy moly. Oh, I need ketchup.

I don't have ketchup because my wife

forgot to buy it again. You should take

the Myers-Briggs test. I took that last

time, took it ages ago, about 2 years ago.

I think I deleted the video.

Oh, it tastes so good. The bread, the

bread is fluffy and buttery and tastes

like French bread, and the sausages are

meaty And sausagey.

This is what proper food is, not that

fancy schmancy stuff. I need a beverage.

What should I make? I can make coffee.

No, I might have vegetable juice.

I'll make a vegetable juice whiskey

cocktail. There's,

there's vitamins in the vegetable juice,

but with the alcohol and the whiskey

destroy the vitamins.

Let me see if I have any toppings,

something to spice it up.

I have,

I have cheese, I have parsley,

I have a big fucking radish.

I don't have anything good. I would love

some kind of pickles. Branston pickles

would be good.

I need to get a new shirt. I want to get

this shirt again because this shirt's too

small. I thought I'm S size, but it just

feels tight. I don't like

it. It's too tight and restrictive. I want

to get the M size. I don't want to go back

to the shop. All my other shirts are wet

because my wife keeps washing my shirts

every 2 days. You don't need to wash

clothing every 2 days.

It's annoying because some of my shirts

are S size, so I thought I'm S size,

but this one feels too small for me.

I was reading Apple News today and there

was an article about a 46-year-old woman

who collapsed because she had influenza,

double pneumonia, and sepsis, and multiple

organ failure, just like my dad.

But she survived, and they had to amputate

her legs and her arms because they had

necrosis. This is funny,

she had the exact same things my dad had,

but she survived. I'm just wondering if my

dad would prefer to die than losing his

legs and arms. What about you guys?

Would, would you prefer to die or lose

your legs and arms? I should do a

community poll.

Maybe my dad would prefer to die. He

wouldn't be able to do anything. He

wouldn't be able to do gardening. He

wouldn't be able to do DIY. He wouldn't

even— that's so sad. My dad wouldn't be

able to do anything he likes if he lost

his hands. All of his engineering

and DIY know-how, how would he be

able to use that if he didn't have any

hands?

At least he'll still be alive. At least we

could still talk to him. I think he'd

rather be alive. I would rather be alive

even if I lost my hands and legs. It's not

like I do anything with them anyway.

Sepsis is scary, isn't it? It's like it

just randomly happens and then

it causes all of this stuff like multiple

organ failure, necrosis.

Most people who survive sepsis, I've heard

that they had to get some kind of limb

amputated.

My future plans, hmm.

How far in the future? If we're talking

about weeks, well, I have to go to

immigration to get my visa extended.

Don't really have any plans,

really.

My only goal is to keep my channel alive.

Stop it from losing views.

I wonder why that 46-year-old woman

survived but my dad didn't. What was the

difference? Would I rather lose a hand, a

finger, or a foot? A finger. Losing a

finger isn't really a big deal. I think

it's because my dad had a weakened immune

system. His immune system was weaker than

most people. I think,

I think it's because he didn't eat a very

wide variety of food. He had a very

limited diet.

My mom fed me breast milk until a very

late age. Which, according to research,

feeding your kid breast milk until a late

age actually makes the immune system

stronger because,

um, it's all about gut bacteria and

having your breast milk from having your

mom's breast milk increases the variety of

gut flora bacteria, which is good for your

immune system. I'm not sure if that's

I meant a finger and a hand or a foot.

So my hand or my feet? I guess I use my

hands more than I use my feet. I wouldn't

mind losing a foot. I need both my hands

for making videos and drawing.

And I did some Googling, and apparently

there is a link between sepsis and,

uh, the gut Bacteria microdome,

micro something.

Can't remember what I what I read.

It was something like the more

diverse your gut bacteria is, then your

immune system gets stronger.

Also, Victoria's dad got sepsis as

well. Coincidence? But he got it

because he cut his lip and he went to the

doctor straight away and he didn't die.

Oh, I also read this news article about

this girl who had her wisdom tooth

removed, and then she got sepsis because

of an infection. It's crazy.

And she was in intensive care for nearly a

Scary, isn't it? Any infection can trigger

sepsis, and it doesn't matter what age you

are. You can get it when you're young,

get it when you're old.

What is your biggest strength, biggest

I don't know. I guess my biggest weakness

is I'm lazy. My biggest strength is,

um, I don't

know. I don't really have a lot of

strengths. I'm good at complaining and

moaning.

It's so hot in Japan now, I want to get

naked. What I do is I get naked and I

splash water on myself and I let it

evaporate for Feels nice and cool.

It's really hot in this building as well

because the wind— the

wind doesn't blow into the room, it blows

against the wall.

Do all Brits complain as much? Not all of

them. Some of them do.

I have an aircon up there, but I don't

want to use it because it uses a lot

of electricity.

It uses a lot of electricity.

Uses a lot of electricity and

your electric bill gets very expensive if

you leave it on all day.

Who's noticed Dan and Phil recently making

I'm gay videos?

So lame. As if anyone didn't know

they weren't gay already.

Dan Howell made a video called Basically

I'm Gay. It has 10 million views.

After not making any videos for over a

year, he finally comes back with his I'm

gay video. And then Phil also makes an I'm

gay video. So they both went, oh, we're

becoming irrelevant. We're not getting as

many views as we used to. I know, let's

make we're gay videos.

As if no one already knew that they were

gay. They're like the most gay people on

all of YouTube. Who are they trying to

kid? It's not really much of a surprise.

Maybe I should make one. I'm gay.

I only got married so my gayness wouldn't

get revealed.

It's so weird telling people that you're

gay gets so many views. Why do people

What advice would you tell a 20-year-old

about love? Love doesn't exist.

I like that video by Paul Joseph Watson

called Love Is a Mental Illness. That was

great. It is kind of like a mental

illness, isn't it? He makes some good

points.

I've actually ripped off a couple Dan

Howell videos and no one even noticed. I

copied it word for word for word the

titles. I even copied the intro word for

word. I only did it a few times, but no

one noticed. It just shows that my

audience don't really know who Dan and

Phil are or don't watch their stuff.

Sneaky, sneaky, stealing people's content.

Yeah, well, they stole my virginity.

They deserve it. They get enough views.

They need to share, share, share some of

the ad rev around.

Advice for girls seeking Asian guys: go to

Asia.

I don't know,

come to Japan, stay in a guest house.

There's lots of Asian guys there.

I'm full up.

I had

a nice little whinge today. I feel

refreshed. It's always nice to rant

about things, isn't it?

What sausages are these? Oh, oh, there's

sausage juice coming out of it. Oh, it's

dripping everywhere.

Ah, I feel much better.

You know, you have all these things you're

thinking about and it's inside of you all

bottled up, and then you finally get to

release it. And then you just feel kind of

Now I can have a nice day.

Make an I'm gay video. I really want to

just make a clickbait I'm gay video, see

how many views I get, then everyone's

gonna call me a troll and they won't like

Maybe when my channel is completely dead

and I only get 500 views a video, I'll

just start making complete clickbait troll

stuff like, I'm gay, I'm transgender,

I'm getting a sex change.

That's what I have planned for when my

channel is completely dead. That'll be

That was a nice lunch. I feel pretty

satisfied. That luncheon.

My favorite Japanese porn star? I usually

don't have favorite porn stars, but I

recently found this one Japanese girl and

she's so cute. She's just like my ideal

type. I forgot her name. Her last name is

K-I-R-I-T-A-N-I.

Forgot her first name. I'm gonna use her

as the thumbnail of my Why I Only Date

Japanese Girls video, which I have

planned. I'm not sure if

I'll make one today. I was gonna make the

prostitution video today,

but I feel kind of lazy now. What's in

your wife that separates her from every

other woman?

Um, I don't know. She's not really

that different to every other woman.

There's nothing really unique or special

She's just your average bog-standard

Japanese woman. Nothing really sticks out

or stands out about her.

She's just normal, you know. She goes to

work, she has friends.

There's nothing weird about her.

Oh, we had this little argument at the

supermarket because it's

so annoying when she does this. So we

finish shopping and we're at the checkout

and they're beeping the items, and then

they finish beeping the items and we have

to pay, and then she just suddenly goes,

oh, I forgot the eggs, and she just runs

off leaving me there.

She runs off to get the eggs or whatever

she's forgotten, and then I had to stand

there waiting. And then the cashier was

saying something to me. I didn't

understand what she was saying, and I felt

so awkward. I just kind of ignored her.

I said yes, just randomly said yes. I felt

so stupid because she

was this old woman and she was speaking

very quietly. Japanese people speak very

quietly. Makes it hard to understand what

they're saying. And that they have that

stupid store music playing in the

background. I wasn't sure if she was— I

don't know what she was saying. I think

she was saying, should I put your stuff on

hold? Or I wasn't sure if she was saying,

is she coming back? I didn't know what to

say in response, and I felt so

embarrassed.

I hate it when people do that. If I forget

something, I'll just—

I'll pay for everything and then I'll go

back into the shop and then queue up

again. I won't hold everyone up and just

run off like that. But no, she just

runs off during the middle of checkout,

leaving me standing there. She didn't even

tell the sales assistant that she was

going to get eggs. You know what would

have been better? She should have told me

to go and get the eggs. She should have

said, Daniel, can you go and get the eggs?

Then I wouldn't stand there feeling all

awkward and shy.

Or, you know, she could actually remember

to get everything before we go into the

checkout area. Is it that hard to remember

what you're gonna buy? Every time we go

shopping, she always forgets something.

It's either eggs Or her yogurt or

ketchup. She's always forgetting

something. She's so forgetful.

Every time now, every time we go to

supermarket, before we go to line up for

the checkout, I always ask her, do you,

do you have everything? Have you forgotten

anything?

I felt so embarrassed standing there.

Luckily it wasn't really busy and there

wasn't a line of people. When I worked at

the petrol station, I hated it when you

were scanning people's items and they

would just suddenly run off to go and pick

something else up, and then there's a line

of people waiting, and then you're waiting

for the guy to come back with whatever

he's forgotten. So annoying. Can't people

just think a bit it, get their shit

together.

I was thinking of making this into a

video, call it something like, people that

don't understand social anxiety irritate

me. And I— she, she had a go at me saying,

oh, it's not a big deal, why are you

making such a fuss of it? And I said,

it's because I have social anxiety, I

don't like those situations. And then

she's like, oh, I don't understand how you

can have such social anxiety when you meet

up with random girls and fuck them. And I

said, that's completely different.

Meeting up with a girl on the internet and

then having sex is nothing like the

situation at the supermarket, is it? It's

a completely different situation.

What traits of hers do you admire?

Don't know, you're asking me difficult

Um,

don't really admire anything, to be

honest.

I hate it when people say, oh, how come

you can meet up with girls and have sex?

But you claim to have social anxiety.

Well, people think I'm lying about it.

It's a completely different situation.

Chatting to a girl online and then meeting

her is nothing like having

to interact with a stranger or being put

in, in an embarrassing situation. It's not

the same.

We had this little argument about it. I

said, if you're gonna do that again, then

I'm not gonna go shopping with you.

Because I have these little strategies and

techniques to avoid social interaction,

to make my life easier, to make it less

stressful. I have certain protocols that I

follow So I don't have my

social anxiety triggered, but she doesn't

know about them. And just dashing off

in the middle of checkout is something I

would never ever do. I would just finish

checkout, go back into the shop, and then

get the thing I forgot and then line up

again.

But then I get forced into these

situations. Because of her, and it just

irritates me.

I hate it when I get forced into

situations that I wouldn't usually get

myself into because of other people.

I'm very good at avoiding interaction with

people because, you know, I know what I

like, I know what I don't like doing, and

when I'm by myself, I don't really have a

problem. But when I'm with other people

They don't understand my mental illness,

like social anxiety. They do things that

cause me to get angry.

Another thing she does is sometimes she

tells me about work and then she'll start

doing these impersonations of my coworkers

and she'll put on this high, loud, high

voice, high-pitched voice impersonating

them. And we'll be walking down the street

and she'll just suddenly do this anime

kind of voice, and it's really