im gay

Oh my God,

well,

I don't know why it ends the stream and

then I can't restart the stream unless I

shut down Streamlabs and reopen

Streamlabs.

I don't think it's an internet thing.

It's like a Streamlabs thing.

Ah, fucking hell.

Fucking annoying.

I've got like 6 stream VODs now all saying

I'm gay. No, you shut

up. I am gay. Now watch my fucking stream.

Oh my God, I nearly died.

What the hell?

What?

Why am I doing level 7? Oh, I am level 17.

Why are there so many now?

I can't even— I don't know what's

I don't even see where my character is.

You made an expose about you and it got

more views than your videos. Really? It

got more than 80,000 views on my Zelda

video? Didn't think so.

93,000. Oh yeah, okay. What's the

I'm bored, my tongue hurts, hard to talk,

girlfriend's upset with me.

Fair enough.

Do you actually not enjoy Diablo? It's

okay, I guess.

I don't know, it's not bad. Give it a

6.2 out of 10.

I wish you could sprint. I swear I've

been here before.

She thinks I accused her of wanting my

money or something. I never said that.

What's she talking about. I never

once said anything even close to that.

Well, I linked— Mother,

mother, please, can you hear me?

The way is open. We have to go.

You are the last visitor to my sick

dome. Though you come too late, just as

the others did before you.

Friends of my father, Ignarius,

are already the first. I don't think it is

my visions foretold.

Hungry, hurtling towards the prophecies

they made.

Um, mic battery died.

What time is it? Maybe 5.

It's 4:37.

7 in the morning— I mean, in the

afternoon.

Maybe I'll end at 5-ish.

Can you hear me now?

I really hope when I do a YouTube stream I

don't have all these damn problems.

No, the mic battery just dies after like 4

It's not a big problem because I have to

just switch it out. The annoying thing is

when the stream crashes and I have to end

Streamlabs— I mean, I have to close

Streamlabs and reopen it.

Destroy the tumors.

Where are they?

I think recently I prefer making videos

over streaming.

I feel like it's way less effort.

Streaming is tiring, stressful,

constantly have tech problems.

Having to talk for 5, 6 hours is hard and

tiring. I don't like— I don't know,

sometimes I like talking Sometimes I

don't.

Especially I don't like talking when it

hurts to talk.

I use Videoleap and also PowerDirector

for video editing. It's weird because

when I talk like this, it don't hurt

anymore. But when I talk normally, it

hurts. I've got a painful lump under my

tongue, in case you're wondering why I'm

talking weird.

But it's not so bad.

Imagine I just made videos talking like

that. Hi guys, welcome back to another

video. I'm Daniel.

People would realize I'm trolling straight

away. The only reason my channel got

anywhere was because people didn't realize

I was trolling. I think people

got bored of the channel when they

realized I'm trolling, because it's like,

what's the point of watching this guy when

everything he says— or well, I don't know

if it's everything, but how can you trust

anything he says when half the time he is

trolling? We only watch him because

we thought he was being real.

Yeah, well, I had to take some liberties.

Didn't I?

Creative liberties in

the name of entertainment.

SpongeBob AI, surely that would have

copyright problems. I can

imagine it getting DMCA taken down because

it's SpongeBob. I would not want to

use some kind of

IP like that. Now the guy doesn't care

because he's probably just doing it for

fun and has a day job.

Oh my God, dying to mobs.

Look at this shambling corpse, is gonna

I'm gonna die.

Oh, what stupid Windows Explorer just

randomly popped up?

Uh, those things look so gross.

They're like spider legs.

Nearly level 18.

Whoa, look at my new helmet, like a

Viking.

One more. How do I get over there?

Hmm, I guess I go around.

Oh, I can't believe it's nearly 5:00

PM. Oh,

will I ever have kids?

I don't know. Guess not. My sperm

doesn't work.

Oh, I need that.

What's a falchion? A falchion.

You're not afraid of growing old alone?

Um, I don't know.

Do you think it's really that bad?

Maybe it would be bad.

I feel like I could just get some cats and

I wouldn't be too unhappy.

Oh my God, they're not dying.

Haha, well, I'm really struggling

here. Do I have any points?

Ooh, what should I get?

Hmm.

I feel like Whirlwind could be useful.

That's a big talent tree.

Bash— bash the enemy with your weapon

dealing 56 damage. You bash

them 4 times to stun.

Okay. Oh wow, there's more abilities

down here.

Rupture: skewer enemies in front of you

dealing 29 damage, then rip your weapon

out, damaging enemies for the total

bleeding amount and remove all bleeding

from them. Bleeding effects slow

enemies.

3% increased damage to close enemies,

gain 2% distant damage reduction.

Death Blow. Hmm,

what would be the ultimate bleed build?

When's the guide upload? Hmm,

I need to get to high level to have enough

points to actually make a build, because

right now I'm only level 17.

I want to do a bleeding barbarian,

bleeding barbarian berserker build. I'm

gonna use AI to generate me an image of a

bleeding berserker warrior.

Rupture seems pretty good, but it takes

away the bleeding buff debuff and

damages them.

Hamstring leads to 6% increased damage.

I want to see how fast it takes to level

up to— what's max level? It's like 60 or

Maybe I'll get Rupture.

It's on— where is it? LT? No.

Um. Left trigger.

It's hard remembering which buttons do

what, what skill.

Oh. You're gonna

die.

Can I use a pike? Where is

it?

Hmm, 150 damage, not very good pike.

Executing pike, ooh, interesting.

I need to level up every single class to a

max level to be able to do builds. It's

gonna take ages.

What if I just pay someone to do it for

Maybe I'll do the bleeding build video

tomorrow. I don't even

know what to say. Oh look, a boss.

I can't read what it's saying.

What's it saying? It's talking shit about

me.

Oh my God, this is gonna

be annoying.

Look at all this stupid AOE it does.

I'm doing no damage. What the hell?

I need potions. Why do I only get 4

potions? It's not much.

Well, at least when you die you refill

your potions, I guess. How am I gonna do

Can't I help? Get help like on Elden Ring.

You can team up with other people online.

Social, local players. There's only

3 local players.

What?

2 Chinese and a Korean.

Invite to party.

I don't want voice chat.

Is there voice chat?

I don't want— it's sort of embarrassing

when there's voice chat. And you can

hear them. Oh no,

I hate

voice chat.

Whisper. How are there only 3 people

playing? What the hell?

Dead game. I guess all the Koreans and

Chinese are still working. Uh,

I hate that Fucking boss battles

are so annoying.

Doing no damage. Look at his health.

Oh, what the hell's that? Is he helping

me? Knight's Punishment.

Oh, he's helping me.

Oh my god.

Help me, I'm a

barbarian. Best class.

He looks pretty cool. What, he has like a

Ku Klux Klan hat, like a cone.

Pretty Funny, this helmet,

it's like a traffic cone. Oh, potions!

Gimme, gimme!

That rupture thing does nothing. What a

rubbish talent.

Hmm, I'm doing pretty well.

Oh, oh, I need potions.

Oh, give me, give me.

Ah, come on.

Taking a lot of damage. Why?

I think I'm gonna die.

Oh, my health is going up for some reason.

I don't know why it's

recharging itself. I just run away.

Oh my God.

Why am I dying so much?

Maybe I have a talent that actually heals

me that I didn't know I have.

Uh, are you on good terms with your mom?

Maybe my

opinion on TikTok's effect on the brains

of kids.

Um, I don't know, I guess it's bad.

But is it any worse than sugary drinks and

snacks, video games? There's a lot of bad

stuff out there targeted at kids.

God, this takes ages.

Nearly done it. I think I can get him

easy.

Haha, haha, see?

Pro gamer.

Wow, he looks pretty cool.

Is it back? So annoying, I have

to exit Streamlabs every time.

Didn't used to do this.

Why does this look like a Warhammer game?

Reminds me of Warhammer Fantasy. Why can't

I—

Epics. Wow, legendary gear.

Viggo's Protecting Amulet.

Magic bubble is summoned.

Rare pants. Life regeneration while not

damaged. Oh nice,

I already had life regeneration. Lord's

Runners. That's my name,

Lord's Runners. Or should I get the

Rumbling Bounders?

Willpower? I don't need willpower.

I'll keep my Lord's Runners

on. Oh, I got Ironblood Adventurer's

Tunic.

Legendary armor.

The game's okay, I guess. Boss battles

kind of boring. They take so long. You

have to be careful, otherwise you die.

Wow, look at my legendary epics!

And I got a ring.

He looks like he had a period,

pissed blood or something.

Okay, did I level up? No.

Level 18, nice.

Hmm. Oh, ripping your weapon out of

enemies during rupture. Causes an

explosion that deals 68 bleeding damage.

Interesting.

Where do I go?

I have to go out.

That's so far away.

Why'd it make me come into this room?

There's nothing in here.

Oh, weird.

Imagine building this. How would you even?

It's like that dwarf mine in Lord of the

Rings, just loads of pillars

stacked on top of each other.

Uh, can I teleport out?

I think we can.

5:20, time to go soon.

Hope I made some money from this stream.

Maybe $6 would

Maybe I'll put like a little widget saying

total loss $70, and then I'll add how

much I made from Diablo content to see if

I ever make any money. Can I

do that? How can I do that? I think that'd

be funny. Uh, text widget,

text.

How would I do that?

Total lost from

Diablo 4 currently $70,

but then the main channel

video, I think it made like 8 Let

me see how much I made. Total loss from

Diablo 4, $70. That's funny.

Let's see, I made $7.60.

Where's my calculator?

$69.99 minus $7.60

is $62.39.

There, that's how much I lost. I should

put a minus.

Does that look like a minus? Minus $62.

I have to check tomorrow, see if this

stream made any money.

I think we'll make like $6 ad revenue.

Fingers crossed the second channel video

does well. Put gain instead

of loss? No, because I lost. I haven't

gained anything yet. Once I've made $71,

then I'll have made $1 gain.

Why are so many Korean people?

This reminds me of Guild Wars.

Okay, first I want to repair my stuff.

Oh, I've got 46,000 gold.

I'm rich.

But these weapons are so expensive and the

stats are rubbish. What's the point?

Sell, sell, sell, sell, sell, sell, sell,

sell, sell.

Yeah, if I lost minus $60, does that mean

I gained it? I don't know.

Gonna have 100,000 gold soon. Wow, I've

got 70,000, 73,000 gold.

And what about repairs? Where do I repair?

Whatever, I need to go back to that guy.

Nay, Raul.

Wow, I'm looking pretty epic. Look at my

They should have made a Lord of the Rings

game like this. Would have been fitting.

Well, where'd that shield come from? Oh,

my armor thing gives me a shield. Wow,

well,

I can do like a blood explosion.

Oh my god.

The hell?

What's all this?

Whoa, what happened to its flesh?

Turned into a skeleton.

Oh, that blood explosion is pretty good.

Executed.

Whoa.

Oh, there's a boss here.

Oh, it's that same thing I did before.

Caravan under siege.

I think I failed. They all died.

Oh well.

I thought I said Zelensky Lowlands.

Zeleny.

You know, people keep going on about how

the Ukraine war is like being faked

on Twitter,

but hasn't war always been kind of faked?

Like, you had the British deploying

inflatable tanks so it looks like they're

tanks from the sky.

And then you would have one

side bragging about victories, making it

seem like they had this easy victory and

the enemies suffered this massive loss,

when in reality it's probably not that

bad.

It's like people think only now because of

Twitter and social media this war is

all fake and stuff.

Where am I going?

I feel like the most important thing about

war is the soldiers' morale.

If the morale is rock bottom, then you're

gonna lose, even if you have more troops.

Like, the British had 5 times more troops

than the Japanese did when they invaded

Singapore.

And they just surrendered because they

were so demoralized.

They had like 150,000 troops and the

Japanese only had like 15,000.

What? Where do I go? It says go here. I

can't— I

have to go all the way around.

Well, we're gonna end soon when I finish

this quest. Nearly 6 PM now.

I'm in trouble.

Oh,

whoa.

Oh, I nearly leveled to 19. Okay, I'll get

to level 19 and then say goodbye.

Uh, yeah, I tried Genshin Impact before.

It was boring.

I don't like it.

Not up to my standards.

Why did that chest disappear? Do you think

another player stole it? I think there's

other players, but you can't see them.

That's why my game's lagging so much.

They should have made an offline game.

I think there's other players on my

server, but you, you don't see them.

Look, 10 players local.

I'm hungry.