[2019-01-02] Taking my wife shopping with my mum [4kCm0OfsEmU]

Stupid mum had a big go at me because there were some hairs in the sink. I didn't know there were hairs in the sink. I washed the sink. I didn't check the entire sink. Where? Where are the little hairs? Okay, there's quite a few. You see, the problem is even if you wash, wash the hairs away, they get stuck to the sink. So I didn't notice they were stuck to the sink. I washed the hair. Happy now?

Thank you, Daddy. I love you very much.

It was because it was stuck to the sink.

No, on top, there's that there, that tiny, tiny hair.

Because at the end of the hair, it's sticky.

Take a tissue.

And I thought it rinsed down the sink, but it was stuck to the sink. Not a big deal.

Nice to keep place clean.

Don't have to shout about it.

Next person can use it clean and nice.

Yeah, yeah.

What the fuck?

It's not my fault. I didn't notice. Yes, I'm waiting for you.

Put your shoes on.

Hey Google, how old am I? You are 40 years old. I'm not 40! She said I'm 40 years old. Swell with blood can help men with physical erection problems maintain a healthy penis. She just said, oh, me and Sabrina, before you came, we did so much cleaning, and then you just came here and messed it all up. I didn't mess it up on purpose. Where are we going?

Designer outlet.

Uh-huh.

Buy petrol.

No, don't go to the petrol station.

There's nobody there.

They'll notice me.

Put your head down.

They'll recognize me.

No, they don't.

That stupid Nepal guy still there.

He's not there open night.

Yeah, I think he's working day, day shift.

They don't let him.

He'll see me. I said a lot of bad things about him on YouTube.

She don't understand.

I called him stupid.

You save eight thousand, remember this petrol station?

Don't drive too near to the shop.

Okay.

Use a far away, far away pump. I used to work here.

Yeah.

I used to go in and out that door.

Which door?

Nine months. This one here. Look. Can you see who's there? I can't see because the window's dark. Used to be a subway here, and this used to be a— what did it used to be? It used to be a spa. Now it's M&S. Look inside. Why'd you drive right next to the window? I said drive— I said park at the far away pump, not the one right next. She looked at me. I don't know that woman.

Yeah, all new. How about here?

She looked at me right in the face.

How about here?

I don't recognize that woman. She had she had a ponytail.

My son don't like me when she asked me excuse me you park wrong up wrong way around. I say it's my son say do not do not park there.

Can you buy pot noodle?

My son play with mobile phone when the petrol stand.

So.

Put away.

No. Let it catch on fire then. This is where I used to work last year. Looks very different. And the poor guy still works here. This is where I used to work.ここで働いてたよ。知ってるよ。来たもん。 I can't believe I used to stand here in this stupid place for 8 hours every single night for nearly a whole year. What a nightmare.

Ah, wrong way round. The car is another way round.

We're facing the wrong way. Yeah, it says no, no exit, no entry. We're going out the wrong way.

Yeah, it's like your father face.

Look at his face.

Daniel, open the bloody thing!

I can't, I'm filming.

Oh, she hear? Please open. Thank you. You're not supposed on your camera.

Why not? There's no such thing.

Explosion.

There's no explosion. Load of rubbish.

Now she's so upset. Do you know his grandmother hit by a car by crossing?

Yeah, you told me a hundred times.

Are they nice? Not enough souvenir thing.

It's all clothing.

Nobody buy. Place rubbish.

It's all just expensive overpriced clothing.

That's why it's called Designer Outlet.

I don't know, I thought they had lots of different things. They might have souvenir and Asda.

That's why I say walk in, you push me back out. You utter scum.

Here.

Where's the entrance? Spit your ass out.

We're going round and round, you're making me feel sick.

I don't know where's the entrance.

Oh, that way.

Where? I don't know.

Oh, now we go around again.

See, we've got a queue waiting out there.

Go left.

What did you get?

Sausage casserole. Pot noodle. Let's find where Mum is. Look, sausage, sausage pot noodle.

How much is that?

Look at this one, sausage.

How much is one?

And beef and tomato. Daniel, look, you're gonna buy more knives? I already got you some.

Look, what do you think of this?

It's just coffee latte.

You need to use machine.

Put it in then, quick. Supermarkets in England so different. There's no music playing. There's no staff, sales staff screaming their heads off, and they sell normal food. Look, they sell proper sausages, proper bacon. For some reason, they don't sell proper sausages in Japan. They only sell those frankfurter wiener things. No, I didn't think it'd come today. Got my parcel. Use your new knife.

No!

Open my box! Why didn't you use the new knife? This one's so— this one's so ugly.

Be quiet.

Put it in the bin. What?

I'll make cheesecake for you today.

Oh, so funny.

Oh my God, look at my yogurt! Head facing Daniel.

What? I didn't do anything wrong. So sharp.

Pick up yogurt, put in the fridge before they go bad. Oh, she wanted to take home. Oh, you use my new knife to open this?

It's very sharp.

Oh my God. Daniel always buys things from the— from Amazon.

This isn't mine. Who bought this?

It's Robert.

That's why I can't—

Oh, look at the name first.

Someone sent me a pillow.

It's not someone.

Someone sent me an email saying if— asking me if I wanted a free pillow. She said she watches my YouTube channel.

But how do you know your address?

I gave it to them.

You shouldn't give my address to them.

She asked me, she asked me if I wanted a free pillow from the company, and I said yes please.

So what did you order actually?

Bamboo memory flake pillow. Thank you. It's my dad's present. Present for dad.

Daniel, are you sure your YouTube people send you?

Oops, I cut it. I cut the case by accident with the knife. I cut it. I cut the box open. I cut the pillow by accident. Mom, look, it's your present.

No, why they send him? Is it that order?

No, someone watched my YouTube channel and they asked me if I wanted A pillow.

Why they offer you a pillow for?

I don't know. They they like my channel.

They might just want your address and then attack us.

No.

Okay, hold here.

It's not a Christmas cracker.

It's not a pillow. It's just a towel.

Yeah, it's a pillow.

Why a pillow can let in like this? Look, it's not a pillow. You want to take to Japan?

No, it's your Christmas present for you.

But how's it get open?

Show me the pillow. It's this one, £100. This is not— I think it's a good quality pillow.

But you already give people my address.

They already know it.

They don't know.

Oh, they do now. I think it's this pillow from Quiesta, uh, memory, memory flake pillow. And it says on the little note that came with it that when you take it out of the packaging, it's very flat and it takes 24 hours to fully expand. It feels like it's expanding. Thanks a lot for sending it. I'll give it to my dad. Look, it's getting bigger. I thought you found Nemo. No. What did you find? I only found one.

A box of coffee in my back.

Looks bigger now.

You say 24-hour?

It's gonna get bigger and bigger like a cake. It's a high-quality pillow, Mum.

Push EFT. Make it like a pillow.

Be patient.

That pillow, throw it away. All the feather. And now somebody give you a pillow.

Mhm.

Ask her why don't she give a pair.

Don't be greedy.

People don't give one.

Why not? Give it to me, Mo. Do you like it?

Wait, I'm going to put a pillowcase.

Put your head on it. It's really fat now.

What you doing? Oh, look, let's go. My sister is not calling. She's 60 years old. That one take us to train station. You met her. Now that old. Yeah. Bang, bang, and put in your bag.