im gay

Hello? Hello?

Hello. I love that magnetic clip.

Click sound. Do it again.

Click. Okay.

Gonna stream today, maybe 5 hours.

My tongue still hurts, so it's gonna be

hard to speak, but gotta stream.

So if I sound weird, If I'm talking weird,

it's because my tongue hurts. Stupid

tongue thing again.

Keeps happening.

For some reason, I keep getting this

painful lump under the left side of my

tongue, and it takes like a week to heal,

and it's so painful to do anything

like eating, talking, brushing my teeth.

As a YouTuber, I need to talk.

Talking is like how I make money. So it's

not great because I haven't been able to

make videos like I would like to.

Feeling better about the Hostel thumbnail.

Oh yeah, I forgot about him. I was going

to do like super zoomed up crop of his

face for the stream thumbnail. Maybe next

time. The video is still up,

so YouTube didn't take it down. So I'm

wondering what would happen if I now

change the thumbnail back to his face.

Does he have to report it again?

I don't know what the rule is. So YouTube

says if we receive a privacy complaint,

then I have to blur the face within

48 hours, otherwise they'll take it down.

But they don't say anything about what if

I change the thumbnail back after the 48

hours. Sneaky,

sneaky.

Hmm, I could mess with him a bit. It could

be funny. Let's see if we can get a

reaction out of him for some drama.

I don't think he's— I mean, if I wanted

drama, maybe I shouldn't have blocked him,

because if I didn't block him, maybe he

would have messaged me angrily and been

like And then I could have made a second

video about it. Japanese manager rages

at me about GAY video.

Were you tempted to leave your whole

crying breakdown in the video? Yeah, I

was, but I look so stupid when I cry.

My face goes really weird, like And

then my voice goes, uh, like a girl. I do

not look good when I cry. Plus, people

think I'm faking it when I cry. A lot of

people were saying, oh, nice fake crying,

Daniel. Yeah, as if I can just summon

tears at will. I actually genuinely cried

because when I start talking about, you

know, how happy I was about becoming a

YouTuber and people around me

disapproving, I mean, that does actually

hurt me. Not, not trolling or anything. I

actually feel hurt that no one's

supportive of my dream and they're all

like, oh, don't film me. Oh, don't do

this. Don't talk about that. And then they

just message me because they're upset with

me. That really upsets me. Not trolling.

Hi, Daniel. Love your art. Oh, thanks,

Rosetta. Nice to see you again.

It's going to be a hard stream, but I

think if I talk like this, move my

tongue over to one side, it's not too bad.

Someone on Reddit posted screenshots of

Cami saying she was happy your YouTube got

banned from streaming and that she hopes

your channel gets banned. Well, my

channel's not banned from streaming, so I

don't know what she's talking about.

And I mean, she shouldn't be happy if my

channel got banned because I'm gonna go

home and become a leech, like homeless— I

mean, unemployed, jobless loser

living with his mum. So it's in the best

interest for her for me to carry on being

a YouTuber because what's the alternative?

What, am I going to get a job in Thailand

doing what? I can't even speak Thai.

Yeah, in case you haven't been watching,

I'm in Thailand. I live with my girlfriend

who is Thai. Yeah, I still talk with my

mum. I unblocked her a couple of weeks

ago. Yeah, I'm going back to England for

Christmas, hopefully, if I can save up

enough money. And I'm going to school next

week to learn Thai. So in case people

aren't watching and they want a quick

update. And I'm

34. And what else do you want to know?

No, I don't have any STDs. Got tested

recently. No, I'm not going to Japan

anytime soon. Any other questions?

Am I from London? No, I'm from Kent.

What will you pivot your content towards

to attract new viewers? Well, I want to do

gaming content, but I've given

up on the idea of growing an audience.

I'm just gonna like bait people now. It's

too hard. I don't get it. People don't

like me. It's either I say really dumb

stuff and be negative and critical about

something and everyone hates me, which is

the only way I can get views, or Or I try

and be neutral slash positive, and then no

one cares because it's not interesting.

I'm like, oh hey guys, Zelda is a good

game. Yeah, I'm really having fun with it,

and no one cares. We get 100 views. So I

have to be controversial and be like,

this game sucks, worst Zelda ever.

So I mean, in an ideal world, I would make

content that makes people laugh and they

love me and I get fans, but I don't know

how to do that.

No, I'm not doing that stuff anymore.

I'm a good boy now. Good title made

me click. Well, that is my job, I guess.

Gotta write the good titles, make people

click.

It's so difficult to grow an audience.

You need to make really good stuff.

And it's not easy making good stuff. How

would you make good stuff? I don't know.

Have, have like a good take on things.

That's how the really big YouTubers get

big, like Moist and Asmongold, because

they're known for having really good

takes. Well, I'll just be known for having

really bad takes.

I don't know how to grow an audience. I

just kind of randomly grew one out of luck

because people like my no friends video.

I don't even know what made that video so

good or special. I was just like, oh, hey

guys, I've got no friends. Do you think

Basically my whole channel grew from that.

If I— it was complete luck because if I

went into full troll mode and I said some

really dumb stuff, people wouldn't have

liked the video and they wouldn't have

become my viewers. Or if I had made the

video more likable and relatable, then I

would have had more fans, wouldn't I,

back then? But I was kind of lucky with

how— okay, the video was a bit creepy

and weird how I said, oh, I don't want to

meet guys because I don't want to sleep

with them. So I mean, a lot of people

didn't like the video because I said that.

If I didn't say that, I probably would

have converted more people into fans.

But I didn't know the video was gonna blow

up. I was just making it for fun. What

would you do if the guest house manager's

willy was waving in front of you? I don't

know, put it into my ex and then he'll get

chlamydia too.

It would be funny if the gay guy,

bisexual Japanese guy, messaged me and

said, hey Daniel, the manager contacted

me, said you blocked him. He said he wants

to apologize for making you cry. That

would be some funny drama actually, but I

doubt it would happen. Are you

okay, Daniel? Yeah, I'm okay. It's just my

tongue hurts. I keep— it happened last

month as well. Do you remember me moaning

about it? I started getting this.

It starts off as a tiny red lump, very

painful. It started about,

I think last Monday. Was it

last? Jesus Christ. Last time I streamed

was last Monday. No.

Oh no, it wasn't. It was last Friday.

Yeah, last— no, it wasn't. Last Friday I

made the People Suck video. I didn't

stream since last Monday. Oh my God,

that's nearly 2 weeks I didn't stream.

What have I been doing? Yeah, so the red

lump started on Monday because there was a

3-day weekend because of a Thai national

holiday. I get stressed out on long

weekends because of You know what?

Started on Monday. It takes like a week,

nearly 10 days for it to heal and recover.

But it starts off the first 2 days as a

tiny red lump and then a little white dot

appears and then white dot gets bigger and

bigger. Now the white dot is quite big

now. So now it's probably peak bigness

and now it's going to start shrinking and

it'll take another few days to heal. My

girlfriend said I'm not eating enough

fruit and that's true. I'm not eating any

fruit because she keeps bringing back

weird fruit like weird Thai fruit. She

never buys normal fruit like apple,

oranges, grapes. Okay, sometimes she buys

strawberries, but most of the time she

buys this weird Thai fruit like rambutan.

It looks like a red ball covered in spikes

or like really smelly fruits that I don't

want to eat. So I haven't been eating any

fruit, which probably means I'm vitamin C

deficient. So we're going to go shopping

tonight and I'll probably buy some fruit.

The problem with the fruit here is the

oranges are green. I used to eat 2

oranges a day back home in England and

never had this problem.

But whenever we go to the supermarket,

the fruit looks weird, like the bananas

all deformed and small. The oranges are

green, like half green, half orange, and

they've always got pips and seeds in it.

You have to go to the fancy high-end

supermarket to get normal oranges.

Sometimes I get apples, but just one apple

a day doesn't seem to be enough. I started

taking acerola vitamin C supplements.

I really have to pay attention to this

because it's such a pain in the backside.

I'm miserable. I can't talk very well. I

need to make videos and it's— I just don't

want to make videos because my tongue is

so painful. I don't know if you can see

Right at the back, always at the bottom

left under the tongue.

Really frustrating.

I don't know why it happens. Why on the

tongue of all places? Can't it just happen

somewhere else? Like on my lip, on my

chin. I don't know. Why my tongue? My

tongue is like the most important. You

know, I'd rather lose my hands than lose

my tongue. Because if I lost my tongue,

how am I going to make money? I just sit

here, be like, howa ka ka ka ka ma ku ku

ku bo howa lo makang. I can't do my

job if I lost my tongue. I can do my job

without hands.

Tongue's like my most important thing.

Have I watched GAYPORN? Not recently.

Recently I just watch Japanese girls again

when I'm out of ideas.

Did I paint those pictures? Yep. I haven't

done any painting recently. I got some oil

paints. It's just because it was so

annoying having to clean up the oil. You

need turpentine or some kind of distilling

paint thinner to wash the brushes.

Otherwise, it's such a mess trying to wash

the brushes. Syphilis again? No, I don't

have syphilis. It's just vitamin C

deficiency. I got

acrylic paint too. I don't know if you can

tell the difference. This one's acrylic

and this one's oil. This one looks way

better. I don't know why, it just does.

The acrylic also warps the paper. There's

just something weird about the acrylic.

Didn't have the same texture. But oil

painting is so frustrating. It gets

everywhere. You keep rinsing the brush and

all this paint is coming out, but it never

cleans the brush. It's like an infinite

spawn of unlimited paint just constantly

coming out of the brush and it never— like

the whole brush is covered in oily paint.

And you pour soap onto it and it takes

ages to rub out. Kind of got it a bit

clean. Ah, the brush is all stiff.

And it took like a week for this painting

to dry as well. So oil painting is such a

pain. It is fun, but then the cleanup is

so annoying. I don't want to do it again.

I need to get turpentine or some

kind of paint thinner to wash the brush.

Oil is weird, isn't it? The way it doesn't

mix with water. But I guess that's the

whole point of water— I mean, oil. It's

supposed to be like a waterproof coating

for animals that live in

the water, like ducks and otters.

So they have waterproof.

Oh, thanks, Yohan. If YouTube and

streaming were to suddenly disappear,

what do you think would be your second

option to make money? I don't know, maybe

get really serious about learning to day

trade. I didn't really concentrate

enough. I was just kind of randomly buying

and selling. Maybe if I really took it

seriously, I could actually make money. I

just hate it because you win some money,

but then you could just lose it next

trade. It's a really frustrating way of

making money.

Daniel, if YouTube and streaming were to

suddenly disappear, what do you think

would be your second option to make money?

I assume life would suck. Yeah, life would

really suck. Either trading— maybe

I'd try to get back into Day trading, but

I just really don't like it. It's so

stressful. At least when I'm— I don't know

if I can say that though. I was going to

say at least with making YouTube videos,

I don't lose money. But I spent $70 on

Diablo 4 to make content. So far, none of

the videos have popped off, so I've lost

money. But at least I've got a game and

I'm having fun playing the game.

It's not a huge amount of money, that's

the point though. Maybe I'd lose like

$30 or $40, but if I keep making Diablo 4

content, eventually I'll break even, I

guess. If I make $5 or

$10 a video, just need to make 5 or 6

videos about Diablo.

I don't know what else I could do. People

say use my art, but let's be honest, no

one's going to pay me to do any art and

I'm not going to want to do it because I

don't want to do artwork for someone else

that has to meet a standard because

they're going to use it for their products

and their projects. Like maybe they're

making a book and they need some artwork.

I need to do the artwork exactly how they

want it to be done. And if I can't, then

there's going to be problems. So I don't

really want to do artwork because that

just sounds boring. I only like doing art

when I get to do what I want to do. If

someone's like, oh, I'll pay you this

amount of money to draw a fox, I don't

know how to draw a fox. I've never drawn a

fox in my life, so it'd probably look

crap. I can draw like weird,

weird big-headed Kind of anime-looking,

weird-looking people having cereal.

Because that's like a fun thing I do

sometimes. Anyone else like to draw

themselves just having cereal with random

women? I do. I did that a few times

before. I put it on my Patreon.

Shame I can't put it on YouTube,

otherwise I'd get in trouble.

People don't buy stuff I've already done.

They usually want to pay you to draw

something for them that fits their needs,

and I don't want to do that. I did it

before. It was really annoying. I did some

artwork for George Trombly. It was so—

it's probably the most frustrating thing

I've ever done because he kept saying,

wow, Daniel, your art's so amazing. I love

your art. I want to give you— I want to

give you a job and hire you to do some

artwork for me. And I was so excited. I

was like, oh my God, I'm actually going to

make some money with my art. So I did. He

told me he wanted this schoolboy doing a

pose for his textbook. So I did it.

Thought it looks really good. I spent a

lot of time on it. And his business

partner kept saying that it wasn't good

enough. And maybe he had a point. I guess

he did have a point. Looking back at it

now. The artwork, I mean, the artwork

looked really amateurish and it

would have looked weird on his

professional looking textbook. And I would

have been kind of embarrassed if he

actually used it. His business partner

kept saying, oh, the hand is too small,

the leg looks stiff. And I was getting

triggered because he was kind of right.

Yeah, the hand was a bit small, the leg

Just looked like a straight leg. It didn't

look natural. The problem with my drawing

is I don't know how to draw people

naturally. My figures look very stiff and

wooden. I'm not good at injecting life

into my characters. I can draw a

decent looking face, but I really can't do

poses that look natural and energetic.

So my art kind of sucks, really. It's not

good enough for professional work.

And then after that happened, I felt

really bitter about the whole doing

illustrated work thing. Never want to

He gave me the money anyway. He paid me

like $300 for that one drawing, so I think

it was just like a pity pay. Like he felt

sorry for me. I was happy with it because

I got the money, but it was like a very

negative experience for me. No, I didn't

learn it from school or anything. I just—

so when I was in my weeb phase, I was

really into anime and I was obsessed with

anime girls and I just wanted to draw

really cute girls because I was obsessed

with girls. So, I mean, I was too scared

to talk to girls. So the next best

thing was to draw girls and create my own

girls. So I really wanted to become good

at drawing anime girls. So I spent a lot

of time watching anime and drawing anime.

Now my art looked so bad when I first

started. You should see some of my anime

girls. They've got really fat, chunky

arms, really big fat sausage fingers,

really big wide shoulders, like manly

looking shoulders. My original Initial

anime girl drawings look so bad, but you

got to start from somewhere. And it's

really hard to notice what mistakes you're

making and admit it and accept it. I'd

show my drawings to my dad and say, do you

think this is good? Because I thought it

was good. And then he would start

nitpicking things like, oh, the arm looks

weird. Her forearm is really fat.

Her chin's too big. And I'd get really

annoyed and upset because I was like,

what the hell? She's beautiful. What do

you mean? And then after looking at it

longer, I realized, yeah, he has a point.

It's really hard to, because I'm very

egotistical and have a lot of pride over

things I think I'm good at. When I get

criticized, I get butthurt. So I got, I

got really upset. Because I thought my art

was amazing. It was very hard to accept

that I was making these really stupid

mistakes. And that's why I don't like

doing art anymore, because I realized I

kind of suck and I can't

be bothered trying to learn how to fix it.

I can't do eyes. I can do one eye pretty

well, but then when it comes to drawing

the other eye, I draw them too far apart

or too close together, or one's too low

down. They look kind of wonky. So I have

to use a lasso tool to shape it and move

it so it looks better. But for some

reason, I just can't do eyes without a lot

of editing and trickery. So I'm

just fed up with art. Sometimes I get

bored and I do like a little doodle,

mountains and trees and stuff.

But I'm not passionate about it or

anything. Not talented.

It's boring. That's the problem. If you

want to get good at anything, I don't

believe anyone's really good at anything

because they're geniuses or super

talented. I believe they're good at it

because they spent hundreds of thousands

of hours doing it because they enjoy it.

If you don't enjoy it. You won't be able

to put in enough hours to become good at

it. Okay,

maybe some people are more talented

naturally than others, but I don't believe

it plays a massive part.

I think if you don't enjoy

doing it, you're not going to spend the

tens of thousands of hours doing it to get

good enough. And as someone who doesn't

enjoy doing anything, that's why I kind of

suck at everything.

There's not one thing that I really love

doing that I've done for tens of thousands

of hours and I can call myself a master.

I get bored and frustrated. I'll get like

noob gains and then I'll hit this wall

where the difficulty level went up a lot

and I just give up.

So I'll never be great at anything,

which kind of sucks, I guess, because to

make good money in this world, you have to

focus on being great at one or two things,

not sucking at everything.

I wanted to become good at playing the

banjo. Remember? Remember when I got the

banjo? Yeah, that didn't last long.

You reach N2 Nihongo. Yeah, but it's not

N1. My Japanese is not good enough to be

able to make like a course or to

be credible enough to teach people

Japanese and have them respect me. For my

Japanese skill. It's okay, but my

Japanese skill is okay, but it's not like

mastery level.

No one's going to sign up to my Patreon to

learn Japanese from me like Dogen.

Yeah, I still have the banjo back home in

England. Never going to touch it again.

So I don't know what I do for money. I

don't want to do

art. Um, could— I mean, I'll probably just

try and do Twitch or go on Kick. And have

like 2 viewers.

No one wants to see a guy just sit here

whining about his life. There's like zero

growth potential for my kind of content.

I might get lucky a few months now and

then with a video game review, but there's

basically no— there's zero growth

potential for what I do.

It's— I mean, I'm kind of miserable doing

YouTube because I realize there's no

growth potential. It's like being stuck in

a dead-end job. People get depressed

working in like a shop because they

realize there's not really any way to go

up from here. This is it. I mean, this is

it for the rest of my life.

I mean, best case scenario, this is it.

More likely scenario, this is the

best it's going to get and it's downhill

from now. It's just going to like shrink

and decay from here. That's why I'm

miserable doing YouTube, because I don't

see a way of growing.

I want to do something where I feel like

there's potential to grow, to grow, but I

don't know what that is.

That's why I don't enjoy making videos,

because nothing grows. I don't know how to

grow the channel.

I have an IT job. I suck at IT. Do you

think just because I have code on my

t-shirt and I'm like a nerd? I'm not an

IT guy. I hate coding and

technical stuff and software and all that

crap. It's so boring. I'm not— I'm

not like a technical person.

I tried coding before and it's weird.

It's like using numbers and symbols to

create something instead of just directly—

instead of using a pen to draw a circle,

it's like you're typing in /drawcircle.

This is so stupid. I don't like

coding.

IRL streaming crazy stuff on Kick. Well,

I can't do that because I've got a

girlfriend and I'm like settled down now.

I'm not, I'm not a young guy in his 20s,

single with a crazy lifestyle.

I'm a middle-aged, mid-30s guy who's got

an apartment. In a relationship.

I don't want to be out on the streets

doing weird stuff, hanging out with weird

doing subathons. That's not just— not what

I want to do in life.

I don't know. Hopefully the YouTube thing

works out for the rest of my life.

Who, who's gonna place bets that YouTube

lasts or my channel lasts for the next,

what, 40 years? I'll be 70 still

doing this.

How's the girlfriend doing? She's okay, I

guess. I got in some trouble a few days

ago when I streamed on Twitch because

I was moaning about money.

It's very hard to talk about money. She

gets very emotional about it.

So, I have to go to school next week to

pick up the application forms they

prepared for me, and then she's taking me

to immigration to apply for the education

visa.

So, that's gonna be fun.

Immigration again. I hate it. Sit there

all day waiting for your number to be

called. Yeah, I'm going

to a Thai language school next week. I'm

going to learn Thai Monday to Friday,

9 a.m. to 12. So it's only 3 hours,

but it takes like an hour to get there and

then an hour to come back. So 5 hours. I

have to wake up damn early. I think I'm

going to have to wake up at 6:30, have

coffee, shower, get dressed, leave at

7:30, get the train. I'll arrive around

8:30 or 8:40, hopefully start

class at 9, leave at 12, get back around

1 p.m.,

and then make videos, stream or whatever.

I don't know, because she quit her job,

so she's gonna be here, and then she has a

second job she goes to in the evening. So

I won't be able to do anything until she

leaves for the second job. So my streams

are gonna be late, around— probably

around 6

PM to 10 PM,

so this is not going to be great,

but I don't see what else I can do. She

has to quit her job because it's just—

it's not sustainable. Her, her job is so

far away, it takes her like an hour plus

on train to get to her job.

She's only living in Bangkok because I

kind of forced her to, because I refused

to live near her job. So it's kind of

weird how everything happened because she

was working at that job for 3 years and

then she just randomly met me. And then

that whole ex-boyfriend thing happened and

we came back to Bangkok and I was freaked

out and I refused to leave Bangkok. So she

kind of has to leave the job because

I'm not leaving Bangkok. No way.

So she had to quit the job and look for a

new one. In Bangkok, I guess.

I don't know if I should feel guilty. She

didn't really sound like she liked the job

anyway. I don't know,

maybe we could move— could have moved a

bit closer to the job.

I'm just trying to figure out how it's

going to affect my life because I

really like how things are now where I

wake up in the morning, get stuff done,

make videos, stream, And then she comes

back in the evening. It's going to be

weird because I can't— I won't be able to

do anything until the evening.

Well, we'll have to figure it out, I

guess. As long as I can stream, make

videos. I just need a few hours alone to

do my thing.

Going to school is gonna suck though. 5

days a week.

I could have done online classes, but I

don't want to do online classes because

it's weird.

It would be weird doing FaceTime video

phone call with the teacher. The thing

I'm worried about school is whether the

teacher is going to wear a mask. I think I

have to wear a mask in the classroom,

which is really dumb. I don't get it. You

don't have to wear a mask anywhere in

Thailand, on the trains, in taxis, but

then we're gonna have to wear a mask in

the classroom.

I don't mind. I guess I don't mind wearing

a mask, but if the teacher wears a mask,

it's going to be very hard to hear what

they're saying. Because it's all muffly

and mumbled.

But I don't see how— I think this is the

best course of action because I can't stay

in Thailand if I don't get a visa. And if

I try to come back in without a visa,

they're definitely going to deport me.

Because they already warned me at the

airport saying, next time you need a visa.

Don't want to mess around with

immigration.

Have fun learning, won't it? Won't

learning anything over 30 be difficult?

I'm not sure. I think learning languages

is— I'm not going to say easy.

But there's, there's a pattern to it.

I've already learned 2 languages. I'm just

going to apply the same method. So first

you learn the alphabet, then you learn the

base words like what, why, where. And then

you learn some simple grammar like I want,

I don't want, I like, I don't like. And

then you build those base foundations and

then just go from there.

I've been learning the alphabet. I haven't

really done it recently, but I spent a few

days learning some of the alphabet and I

can write quite a few words. Well, not

write. I can type it.

Thai grammar is pretty basic actually

compared to Japanese.

You know what I'm interested in? You know,

in English we have words like, you can

take one word and add -ly

or -ive, like distinctive. There's the

base word distinct, and then you can turn

it into distinctly or distinctive.

You know, we can change words a

lot in English. I wonder how you do that

Attractive. We have attract, attractive,

the attractiveness,

attractively. You know, so many ways we

can manipulate the word attractive or

attract. I wonder how you do that in Thai.

Fundamental, fundamentally,

fundamentive. No, that doesn't exist.

I am kind of curious about how the grammar

works. It's like a puzzle. Once you

understand how it works, it clicks.

Yeah. So what, why, where, the W's,

important to learn. And then basic words

like tasty, good.

Run, walk, fat, ugly.

These kind of basic words I need to learn

next.

You just have to spend a few hours and

actually concentrate and focus.

How did you approach kanji?

Hmm. I got a kanji book. I just

learned the basic ones like tree, sun,

day, very easy kanji.

And then I started chatting to Japanese

people and then I tried to use kanji and

I kept seeing the same kanji appear over

and over. And then I'd learn it, memorize

it, start using it myself. It wasn't that

difficult. The hard thing about kanji is

there's a lot of kanji that look the same,

but are only slightly different.

But even Japanese people forget. They call

it the radicals, kanji radicals. So a

kanji is made up of different radicals.

And some of them look very similar to

other ones. But if even— if even Japanese

people struggle to remember when they have

to write it, it's like English people

struggling to remember how to spell a

word. Japanese people struggle to remember

how to write complicated kanji if they're

not well-educated.

Now, every time Ice Poseidon keeps saying

this dumb thing where he says kanji is

stupid and Chinese characters are dumb

because in English, oh, you just have the

word and you spell it out. Yeah, but

people forget how to spell words, don't

they? It's the same thing. He was saying,

oh, how do Chinese people remember these

pictures? It's so much easier in English

because you just spell the word out,

character letter by letter. You know,

people forget the spellings of difficult

words all the time.

But I think it's agreed

by a lot of countries that just having an

alphabet is much more efficient than

having kanji. Like South Korea used to use

kanji, but they ditched it for Hangul

because it's faster to learn.

And you can get higher literacy rates of

your population if you just get rid of

kanji. Also, Vietnam also used to use very

complex kanji and they ditched it for like

a French-looking alphabet. And the

population's rates of literacy just shot

up by like 80% when they ditched kanji.

So kanji is kind of a— it's like

making it overly complicated when

there's more efficient ways of writing and

I think most Korean people can't read

kanji. Maybe they'll know a few basic

ones. They might have learned some kanji,

Chinese characters, at school if they took

the class. But they don't use it in daily

life. You'd have to be like a history

student or something, or someone who

studies classic literature. It's like us

trying to read Old English. Most of us are

going to struggle trying to understand

Learning Thai, the alphabet is really,

it's really hard because so many of the

characters look really similar to each

other.

And there's lots of little dots and dashes

that go on top of letters. And this is to

tell you the tone. Because there's 5 tones

in Thai. Some words are flat, some go up,

some go down, and the little dashes Tell

you how it's supposed to be said.

Oh, thanks. YouTube stream.

Wish you well. Ha ha ha! Don't give up.

I'm not not really quitting or anything.

I mean, technically, it's not clickbait

because I am kind of giving up making

content because you know my recent vlogs

in Phuket. They didn't do well and I was

really upset about it. I put a lot of

time, energy, love into those vlogs

hoping they would do well and they

completely flopped. Not even 4K,

3.2K views on my mockumentary and

then 4K views on my Phuket vlog, which I

made a very nice intro, put a lot of

effort into editing. The footage I got,

and it just completely flopped. So I'm

just going to give up. What's the point

trying anymore? I make a 12-minute video

ranting about the manager guy from the

guest house, and that got more views than

anything I've done recently.

And there was like no editing, no music or

anything. So I just, I don't see the point

anymore trying to make good stuff.

So I give up. I'm just going

to make lazy stuff. I don't know why the

People Who Suck video did so well. The

title was not a good title. It's just like

very random, ambiguous. The topic was just

me crying about some guy and people

not caring about me. Is that what you guys

want to see? That video had more views

than anything else I've done recently.

I'll just do like 10-minute FaceTime

crying about stuff, I guess.

Really disappointed the Phuket videos

didn't do well.

I feel like I'm just wasting my time. I

think people want emotional talks.

They want to see me talk about something,

get emotional, see raw emotion,

something I really feel passionate and

care about. People don't want to see me

walking around in Phuket is what I've

gathered. Maybe super vague titles

is the way to go because I've been doing

these very extremely specific,

extremely detailed

titles in the title. Maybe just being

ambiguous and vague would be a better way

of getting views. Like, I give up,

dot dot dot, or I can't believe this, dot

dot dot. People suck was a pretty— I think

it was a good title. I thought I could

have done something like, why I hate my

ex-girlfriend's ex-boyfriend. I was trying

to do the whole meme approach with the

meme titles, but I don't think they work

anymore because the

shock factor of the meme titles used to be

very effective. Back when I was a meme,

like why I hate my girlfriend, and people

were like, oh my God, I cannot believe

this guy made a video called Why I Hate

His Girlfriend. But that doesn't really

work anymore.

A meme title would have been something

absurd like my ex.

Girlfriend's ex-boyfriend confronted me.

I think People Suck was more effective.

Yeah, the autism video did well too. It's

so dumb. I'm saying a video got 8K views

did well. Back in the day, I would have

deleted a video that didn't even get 10K

But it's hard to do a title for a travel

vlog in Phuket. What am I going to title

it? Oh my God.

Best time ever.

It's like omitting Phuket and Thailand and

specific words from the title might

be better. Where's the autism video?

Yeah, 8.6K. It's okay,

I guess. And that's the best I can do

now with my current channel,

current channel situation. 8K is good,

5K is normal, and then 3K is bad. These

are the new, the new numbers.

And back in the day it was like 60k is

good, 30k is normal,

15k is bad.

Yeah, the new normal average

of around 4-5k, at best

8k, at worst 3k. I wonder

when it's going to drop again to like, oh

wow, 5K is good, 3K is normal, 1K is

bad. One day I'm not even going to get 1K

views. How long is it going to take until

I can't even get 1K views?

I'll just be laughing.

Not like a happy laugh.

A sad laugh.

There's, there's, um, studies that

show that telling people to click like and

subscribe doesn't work because most people

are not going to do something just because

you tell them to. I saw, um, Anthony

Padilla interview MatPat and he talked

about it. He said call to action doesn't

work because it's like telling

your viewers to do too many things will

lead them to not do any of them. Oh,

click like and follow and subscribe and

follow my Instagram and follow my Facebook

and blah, blah, blah. They will end up not

doing any of it. He said a more effective

strategy is to say something weird

like, if you enjoyed this video, then lick

the like button. And they'll find it funny

and they'll, they might do it.

MatPat is a genius. Anyone know MatPat

from Game Theory? He used to work for a

multi-network channel that helped big

YouTubers like Smosh back in the day do

SEO and optimization strategies to get

more engagement before becoming famous for

game theory and stuff. MatPat's a genius.

He's like valedictorian, PhD. I don't

know, went to Ivy League universities. He

recently sold all of his YouTube channels

for tens of millions of dollars. He knows

how the algorithm works. He knows how

people's minds work.

I would love— I hate how Anthony Padilla's

videos are like 20 minutes long. When they

have such interesting guests, you would

think this could be a 2-hour video and

then it's only 20 minutes. The hell? I

would happily watch MatPat talk about the

algorithm and engagement, all that stuff

for like 5 hours straight.

Thanks for watching the video, guys. If

you liked it, then nut on that like

button. I just find it so cringe. I can't

do it. I have tried it in the past and

yeah, I got more likes, but it didn't make

any difference.

Graham Stefan says, if you press the like

button, I'll show you this picture of a

cute cat. So dumb.

My tactic is I get the viewers to click on

the dislike button by pissing them off.

That seems to work too.

I swear, the more I piss people off and

get them to press the dislike button, the

better the video does. Like with my Steam

Deck video, I say really dumb stuff like,

oh, Steam Deck sucks because I can't one

finger lift it. And then I drop it on my

Switch. I drop the Switch on my Steam Deck

and it pissed, triggered people off so

much. They clicked the dislike button and

the video now has 500,000 views.

So I'm thinking, how can I piss people off

the most to get them to press that dislike

button? Because I think pressing the

dislike button has similar effects of

pressing the like button.

I find it interesting listening to these

people who know a lot about how it works,

talk about it.

MatPat's a really great YouTuber. He's got

that insane energy, really positive

energy. He speaks really quickly. His

voice sounds really optimistic and

positive and energetic. Hooks you in. I

just don't have that. I have a very

depressing sounding, boring voice.

I don't have that energy.

You can just imagine that guy probably is

thinking about 100 different things all at

the same time every second. No rest, no,

no stopping. I can't imagine how that

guy's brain is wired. Must be insane.

Like you're on coffee and Adderall all the

My mind is usually just dead, like zombie

brain. I'm like zoned out all the time.

Why do you think I'm thinking about sex

and masturbating and girls all the time?

Because there's nothing else going in my—

going on in my brain. My brain is just

empty. And when it goes empty, it just

thinks of the most appealing thing, which

is, well, to me is naked women. To some

people it might be food or drink.

My mind is just zoned out half the time.

I think video games destroyed my brain.

People wonder why. People say, oh, aren't

you sad you can't have deep conversations?

There's nothing deep going on in my brain.

Trust me. My brain is like,

uh, naked Japanese girl, uh, pussy, uh,

food. There's nothing deep happening in

there. It's funny because people used to

think I'm like this intelligent,

thoughtful guy. Uh, no, my brain is dead.

I'm, I'm existing on like an animal level

of thinking. It's just sex, brain, sex,

food, and pleasure-seeking activity.

Yeah. So it's hard to, to make thoughtful

videos when you got a brain like this.

I think if you did some kind of MRI scan

on my brain,

there, there would be very— it

would look bad. My brain would look bad

compared to the normal person, to the

average person.

Yeah. When my life is miserable and I'm

depressed and doing weird stuff, my

channel does well. And then when I'm

settled and I've got stability and

comfort, people, people get bored.

It's frustrating because I don't want to

have a bad life. I want to have a

comfy life. But then people don't find

that interesting anymore.

It's funny because sometimes I'll make a

video game video where I have a lot to

say, and in my mind I feel like I'm

talking really fast. But then when I play

the video back and listen to it, I'm not

actually talking that fast. Just in my

mind, I feel like I'm talking fast.

People want train wreck content. Most

people sub to me for train wreck stuff and

they stop watching because there's no more

train wreck. Or when there is train wreck

stuff, I don't really vlog it like I used

to, so they lost interest because I

don't want train wreck. I want to be

comfortable and have a nice place to live.

I decided it's not worth it just for

20-30k views. It's not worth having a

train wreck life. It's too

stressful. Plus, it's expensive paying

for hotels all the time.

I'm lazy. I would always choose the path

of least resistance. So I'm not going

to choose a style of content that's really

stressful and hard to make when I can just

do the easy thing and sit here whining.

I'm not going to go to Nepal and go to

Mount Everest. I'm not going to do IRL. I

hate IRL so much. I did have this thing in

my mind where I thought, yeah, I want to

be an IRL streamer like Ice. But then I

tried it and it's so tiring and boring

streaming all day long trying to find

things to do. You don't know how stressful

it is trying to, trying to find fun things

to do so the viewers don't get bored.

You can't just sit here doing nothing.

You've got to go out and talk to people

and do activities. Constantly thinking,

okay, what do we do next? What do we do

Constantly trying to entertain the

viewers. It's really hard work.

I honestly, I want to play video games,

but every time I play video game, people

just click off because I stop talking.

And no one cares about what I have to say

about a video game. I would love it if

people cared about my opinion on video

games and then we could play games.

But I need to talk. When I stop talking,

people stop watching. Like when I did the

painting, I zoned out and I stopped

talking and I dropped down to like 50

viewers.

So I can't stop talking. I need to keep

talking. Doing anything that stops me from

talking is bad.

And I find it really difficult to talk and

game at the same time. It's really hard.

I can't. I need to focus and stop talking.

I don't have that multitasking ability. I

need to either focus on talking or focus

That's why IRL doesn't really work either,

because It's hard to talk when you're

outside and there's traffic and wind and

people keep coming near to me,

interrupting me.

So I think this is the best where I can

just focus on talking.

According to the view counts and

analytics, that's what people are most

interested in— me talking.

Problem is, I don't know what to talk

about. We end up just talking about the

same thing over and over again. I don't

know what anhedonia is.

I was trying to teach my girlfriend how to

pronounce art, and it was so frustrating.

I don't understand how she can't do it.

She said the word parade. I didn't

understand because she was saying pa-lade.

So I thought, okay, I'm going to try and

teach her how to say parade. But I could

not for the life of me get her to stop

saying R like an L. I don't know why Asian

people just don't get it. They think R is

the same as L. I was

trying to explain to her what to do with

your tongue. I was saying,

do not move your tongue when you say

parade. When you say parade,

parade, your tongue doesn't

move, does it? It stays flat

at the bottom of your mouth. It doesn't

move, but she kept Saying

the L like, she kept flicking

her tongue out. And I kept saying, don't

move your tongue. Don't move your tongue.

Don't move your tongue. She cannot not

move her tongue. I don't understand why.

Just don't move your tongue and then

you'll say it. Parade. But she

kept saying like that, trying to flop her

tongue out. And I kept saying, don't move

it. Don't move it. And she kept moving it.

She just, I don't understand.

How can you not, not move your tongue?

Say it now. Parade. Your tongue doesn't

move, does it? But it's

like Asian, every Asian country, Japan,

Korea. I didn't realize it, but also

Thailand, I guess. Whenever they have a

word that says has R in it, they think

it's an L and they want to flick the

I said, okay, try saying red. And then she