Celebrating my NEW Job

Wait,

oh my God.

Change.

Why does the thumbnail look so bad?

Is it just me, or is the thumbnail all

pixelated?

What?

See if I can change it.

Save. Oh, it shouldn't be all pixelated.

Why is it all pixelated?

Hold on,

what?

I mean, if you go onto my channel, you can

see it says live, but the thumbnail is all

low-res.

I don't understand.

I'm not talking about the stream

resolution, I'm talking about the

thumbnail.

Look.

It's like all Minecraft looking.

Why does everything go wrong?

Welcome to my job celebration.

Thanks so much for attending.

Sorry, Kerry, I had to unmod you because a

lot of people were getting banned last

time for not really doing anything wrong.

So I don't like having mods. It's very

tricky. People just end up getting banned

for weird reasons that I wouldn't

ban them for.

Yeah,

I don't know why, but I can't get the

thumbnail to look good. Let me try a

different picture, see if it's better.

Change.

The problem is I can't edit the photo on

my computer, so I had to send the photo

to my phone to edit on Instagram because

Instagram has the sharpening tool which I

needed because my webcam is always blurry,

and then I had to send it back to my

computer. 'Cause this stupid Instagram

doesn't let you upload from a computer,

and I'm not sure what photo editing

software there is on the computer because

I'm always on my phone.

See if it's better.

Oh, it's better now. What?

But it's not the picture I chose. Oh, I

don't understand.

I'll fix

it later. Hopefully this time I don't end

up deleting this stream by accident.

Accidentally deleted the birthday stream.

Which was a bit annoying. I was hoping to

get some views on it.

Spent like an hour taking pictures in my

new work uniform. Do you like it?

Ah, stupid wire.

Yeah, it looks pretty good.

Fix my hair.

I got this tie for £10.

It's funny, I can still remember how to

tie a tie. I guess you don't forget. And

then I got this shirt for £15,

and I can put my hair clip in the pocket.

Pretty good investment for my YouTube

channel so I look more professional. I

want to make some more professional videos

like what it's like being a Japanese

salaryman.

Being Japanese salaryman is

very hard.

People will believe it, won't they?

Because I look like a Japanese man.

What?

Thumbnail things very weird. So now

it's changed to the new thumbnail, but the

previous one looks better. Let me change

it again. Downloads,

pictures, this one, save,

public.

Da da da da da da da. Okay, read some

comments. How are stocks? They are down

again. Yesterday they were up, today

they're down. Tomorrow they'll be up, and

then next day they'll probably be down.

Stupid stocks.

Waste of time. Can't believe I wasted

how many months? Since October. I wasted

7 months to lose £7,000,

$10,000.

Took me 7 months to lose all that money.

Good job.

Start my new job Next Monday, very

exciting. I'm so happy,

that's why I'm smiling.

You look like you work at John Lewis. No,

don't dox my new job, it's secret retail

Or else the haters gonna find out where I

work and get me fired.

Oops. How much will I earn? I'm gonna make

So much money. Minimum wage.

Oh, thank you, Mr. Teabag. You got too

much time on your hands. Pretend a job.

Excuse me? Are you

insinuating that I would pretend to have a

job? What kind of loser do you think I am?

Lol, you've got too much time on your

hands. Pretend job.

It is a 100% genuine job,

my good sir.

I'm just so happy I finally got a job.

Are views that low that you have to

pretend now? Lol. I don't care about views

anymore because I've got a real job,

unlike you.

Why would I care about views now? I've got

a proper job, 9 to 5, Monday to Friday.

That you can all just stop watching now

because I don't need YouTube anymore.

Imagine needing views.

Imagine being a

YouTube view slave,

a view cuck. Oh, please watch my videos,

I'm so desperate for views. I've got

myself a real job now.

Fuck YouTube.

No, it's not in the sandwich factory

industry. It's in retail.

I wouldn't have this kind of work uniform

if it was just a factory job. So maybe you

can tell from my attire What kind of job

it may be?

How is your Russian girlfriend doing? Oh,

thank you, Rio. We had to break up because

long distance was just not really working

out. Your real job is only.

Well, I'll still do OnlyFans. I mean, why

would you stop doing it? It's still good

money.

This is the 3rd shirt and tie I had to

buy. I bought one last year, I ditched it

in Germany, and I bought another one when

I was in Rotterdam and I ditched it there

as well. Why am

I wearing a dress shirt? This is my new

work uniform.

Going into my new job next Monday, so I

thought I'd just crack out my new outfit,

wear it in a little bit. You don't want to

get a new work outfit and then wear it on

your very first day because it's just

going to be all, you You know, there's all

creases when you buy new clothing because

it's new. You want to wear it in a bit

before the big day.

Crack out the bubbly in a minute. This is

Daniel at his lowest. Oh, Mr.

Teabag, you're just jealous because you

can't get a real job.

Just finished my mulled wine, very

delicious. Now we'll crack out some of the

So I've got some lovely Hemisphere

Session.

4.2% alcohol.

Still a bit early.

His real job is annoying his mom and

getting kicked out. No.

Okay,

not sure what kind of drink this is.

Smells weird. Ah,

I'm dripping it.

I spilled it.

Spilt my drink. Ugh, it's all wet.

Oh, fuck's sake. Why does it

drip down the end?

What's my mum shouting outside like an

idiot?

Well,

it's quite good.

How much money am I making at my new job?

Well, first they said they'll start me off

at £8.20. I'm so

happy, that's why I just cannot

stop smiling.

I hope you're not a waiter. Yeah, I

wouldn't be very good. I would drop it

everywhere, all over your face.

Let me check this.

Yes, thumbnail is not pixelated.

It took me 1 hour to make that thumbnail.

Oh, thank you, Mr. Teabag.

No, stop that.

This is my last beer from my birthday

celebration.

Listen.

It's my new job at the cereal factory.

No, it's not a factory job, it's a very

professional job where I'm going to be

interacting with clients on a daily basis,

and I needed some smart— I needed a smart

office kind of clothing.

Oh, for God's sake, Mr. Teabag, stop

annoying me. Now let's order him lots of

pizza. I'm not at home. This is a

pre-recorded video right now. I'm actually

in London on a business

trip. Thought it was in retail. Yeah,

it's in retail, but it's in a

sophisticated place where

they, they need smart-looking staff.

It's not like a cheap Shithole like

Primark.

It's serving customers on a daily basis.

That's all I can say.

Oh, thank you, Tech Learner. Very

generous. It's going to help pay for my

new uniform.

I need to get some work shoes as well

because my only shoes I have now are the

ones Chihiro got me in Japan,

which are nice, but they're not really

suitable for my work environment. I need

shoes that show professionalism.

Guys, mail his mum his OnlyFans photos to

that address.

Yeah, maybe I'll get some nice brown

leather work shoes, or maybe black ones.

I like black ones.

I like how the black ones are shiny. It

looks more fancy.

Do I get minimum wage? Uh, it's slightly

above minimum wage, but they said that

they will offer me more if everything goes

well.

What will you do if we recognize you at

the store? Well, I'll treat you in a

professional manner, just like I treat all

my customers. Fuck me.

He's home right now.

I just shouted fuck me really loudly. My

sister's outside.

I shouted fuck me a bit too loud.

Oh,

fucking hair,

why won't you stay there?

Oh, Mr. Teabag really getting annoying

now.

I'm going to have to ban Mr. Teabag. He

keeps trying to write my address in the

Super Chat.

I can't tell if you really got a job or

not. I did, that's why I'm so happy.

And I got my new work uniform.

I would never lie to my lovely

YouTube audience. That's just

such a bad thing to do.

I could never.

Do I love being a productive member of a

beautiful thriving society? Yes, it's so

great to be able to work and pay my taxes

and contribute to society and help people.

I love helping people. It's one of my

favorite things to do.

Helping people is so fantastic.

Who would hire you? Well, you're just

jealous, Bill J, because you can't get a

job. Stop being jealous and

start sending those CVs out there.

Then you wouldn't be an unemployed loser.

In my next video, I'll show you how I

craft my CV, and I'll show you interview

skills. That I used to get

my new job.

So first you want nice tie like this,

cuz first impressions go a very long way.

And you want a nice shirt buttoned up,

and you want firm handshakes.

In the beginning.

How is your wife doing? Does she still

miss me? Oh, fuck off,

Australian guy. Why don't you play

some rugby?

Hmm, well, this drink's quite powerful.

It's not a bad drink.

Congratulations. Where should I cheers it

Camera.

Congratulations.

Only one shirt. Are you looking forward to

fired because of Hydrine?

Hydrine? I'm going to wash it. I'm

satisfying her like you never could.

Shut up. Like Hold on, what kind of names

lack— Only one shirt. Are you looking

forward to fired BC hygiene?

You only need one shirt, you can wash it

over the weekend. Oh, thank you, Tech

Learner.

Chug the drink. No, I've only got one. I

don't want to waste it, I want to enjoy

it.

What else should I get? Maybe I should get

like a nice jacket blazer to finish

the look.

Need to dress the part if you want to be

taken seriously.

Become a

boss overnight. I think it

will take a bit of time before I get

promoted.

What's the job he has? It's a secret job,

but it's in the retail industry.

I specifically chose the retail industry

because I believe that I have plenty to

offer and I've got plenty of experience

and I've got amazing customer service

skills.

Good afternoon, madam. How may I

help you? See?

I thought you hated people. No, I love

people so much.

People are the best thing in the world.

Did I ever get really drunk with Chihiro?

No, sometimes we had a beer, but usually

it was just one beer, or we'd get the big

beer and then share it, but we never got

wasted. Don't believe this fraud,

he is a con artist. Unsub.

Excuse me, how dare you accuse me

of being a con artist. Sabrina's farts?

No, just my own.

I look a bit like Nobita now, don't I?

Japanese people.

Nobita cosplay.

Why there is many black people

How much for you to ruin it for everyone

in the store?

Ruin what? What do you mean?

Nobita, always profiting off of

minorities, isn't he? First he profited

off black people in Japan, and then

prostitutes, and then now he's profiting

off homeless girls in Japan.

What next? Disabled people and

wheelchair people? Why disabled

people in Japan are homeless, 2 million

views. Bloody Nobita.

Making ad ref off of these poor,

helpless minority groups.

And then when I do it, everyone's all

angry saying, Daniel's making fun

of poor people, he's making money off

poor people. When Nobita does

it, everyone's like, oh Nobita, you're

such a great guy bringing attention

to this subject.

No, I'm not gonna leave YouTube when I

start getting paid. From my real job. Did

Chihiro have class? Also lost all my

money.

I'm still gonna make lots of YouTube

content about my new job and how much

money I'm making from my real job and why

I love my real job so much and why it's

amazing to have a real job.

Did Chihiro have class? Yeah, I think she

had class. More than me, la.

No, I wouldn't ever leave YouTube. Even if

I became a billionaire, I'd still make

videos. I'd just talk about how great it

is being a billionaire,

but I'd probably start putting in less

effort into my videos, and I'd start,

um, paying less attention to high-quality

editing, and I'd probably not bother Uh,

using my pro YouTuber gear,

because what's the point? What's the

point trying really hard when you don't

have to?

This camera quality is trash. What do you

mean? It's a $100 wide-angle webcam

specifically made for

Uh, conference meetings.

Your camera is 360p. Yeah, it's not the

camera's problem, it's the stupid

It's the stupid countryside here.

Oh, I got some seaweed. Nearly forgot.

Oh, I got beef jerky too.

I've got some Korean seaweed and I've

got some beef

jerky. Wow, this beer is starting

to affect me.

Extra tender and soft.

Like your mama.

Oh,

that's fragrant.

Look at that succulent

piece of meat.

Please stop talking about New York streams

and videos. Oh wow, is that the real Rion

Ishida, the legend,

up-and-coming new Chris Broad of Japan?

Where is the Japanese Chris Broad? All

these gaijin making videos in their

country, becoming rich, and there's no

Japanese people profiting. All you got is

Nobita.

Rion Ishida makes rubbish content.

Just a Chris Broad wannabe.

But this is seaweed from the seas

of Japan.

I don't want you talking about me and my

fans. Please stop.

Mm,

so good. Has anyone here not had seaweed

It's pretty good.

It's not like normal sushi seaweed cuz

they roast it with sesame oil.

What was my favorite subject at school?

I quite liked physical education, PE.

You get to run around outside and kick,

kick stuff.

How was my day at work? I haven't actually

started my work yet. I just thought

I'd prepare my uniform,

make sure I know how to do a tie properly.

It's been a while since I had a tie.

But I might need to get like a suit,

a jacket suit.

I need some black trousers.

Does the seaweed smell? It smells

like seaweed.

Surprisingly, no, actually it smells more

like sesame oil.

Finished.

Cheers. Good luck on your new job.

Wow, it's getting hot in here. Turn off my

Good luck on your new job. And your new

endeavors.

Where's my robe? Ah, it's over there.

It's a bit too hot. I'm totally

believing you have a new job. What do you

mean? Are you saying that

I'm pretending to have a new job? What

kind of weirdo would pretend to have a

job? That's just stupid.

Imagine what kind of sad loser you have to

be to pretend you have a job and then make

a video telling everyone you got a job

when you didn't actually.

That's just weird.

Will I get a corporate cell phone?

Actually, they already posted me one. Do

you want to see it? It's pretty cool.

It's a little bit retro, but it gets the

job done. So this is the company phone

they sent to me.

See that?

Pretty nice.

It's got an antenna as well, look,

so you can have Zoom call meetings

anywhere outside.

Hello, yes, I'm on my way now. I'll be

there in 10 minutes. Goodbye.

Look at this signal. It's a signal

booster. Boost signal

strength connectivity by 12.2%.

You can also watch TV on it.

Pretty good,

fits right in your pocket.

But it's a company phone, so they won't

let me keep it after I get— I mean, after

I decide to leave.

I won't be able to take it with me.

Oh, thank you, Kate.

No, it's not Persona, it's my new work.

My new job just got me so happy now.

How many hours do you work per week?

Maybe 40 hours at first,

but that could go up

or down.

Do I wash my armpits? I use shampoo.

Shampoo's for hair, and there's quite a

lot of hair in that area.

How does it feel to turn 30? I'm actually

32, not 30.

There's no feeling really.

You just feel the same. Well, I feel the

There's no, like, magical feeling

afterwards.

He's punishing viewers with lazy content.

What do you mean? The viewers have always

wanted me to get a job, so I got a job.

How can they complain now?

People keep saying, why don't I get a job?

So I got one. So hopefully that shuts them

If they're still unhappy even after I got

a job, then I don't really know how to

satisfy them.

Maybe they're the problem and it's not me

that is the problem.

Finish my beer. Okay, what else do we

have? I think that's it.

What else do viewers want me to do? Get

therapy? Yeah, I could get therapy next,

like I got in Germany. Dr. Glenys was very

good at his job and helped me through

many of my mental problems.

What's my job? That's top secret. I can't

let the haters find out where my new job

is. Or else they'll start doxxing me.

It's very dangerous to be an online

personality when you have such

polarizing opinions. Lots of people

out there just won't like you and

they'll try and ruin your life,

but that's just what the world is like.

Am I a businessman? I don't know about

business, but I'm in the retail industry,

which I guess is a kind of business.

What country am I in now? I'm in England.

Came back to England in January.

Trying to think which country to go to

next. Maybe Spain,

but people say Spain is racist. Is Spain

really racist? I don't want to go to Spain

if people hate half-Asian guys.

Japan doesn't seem to be reopening anytime

soon, so maybe Korea.

I heard Korea is letting people in, but

you have to do a 2-week self-quarantine in

a hotel, and you have to pay

$2,000 to do the 2-week quarantine. So

you're stuck in a hotel like a prison,

and they send you food. They'll leave food

outside your door, and it might just be

rice and kimchi every day. You don't get

to decide what you get for food.

So what if they just keep sending you fish

and rice every day? Lunch, breakfast, and

dinner. That'd be so

depressing. Stop that,

it keeps spamming my address.

Why Spain? Well, I've never been to Spain

before, and I'm pretty sure I have some

Spanish viewers that would meet up.

And Spain's also cheap.

I'd probably go to Madrid or Barcelona.

Daniel's so pissed. Do you mean pissed as

in drunk or angry? I'm not angry,

I just feel a little bit— wow, that drink

was quite powerful.

Can't be 4% alcohol.

Yeah, 4%. Definitely feels like 10%.

Yeah, Spain could be interesting because

I've never been there before, and they

might let English people travel there

again soon. And then

Korea, maybe. Later in the year.

I don't know about Japan. Japan doesn't

seem like they want to reopen at all.

They've got no interest in reopening.

No one in England seems to want to meet

up, and the ones that do don't want me to

talk about it.

And then I'm a bit worried about going to

London. I heard Asian people getting

attacked.

Hold on, I've got to ban this guy.

Getting annoying.

Keeps putting my address in the chat room.

Why do people keep spamming my address?

Don't know, it's because they're losers

and they're jealous I got a job and

jealous of all the money I'm gonna make

whilst they sit in their mum's basement.

We'll have to see until later in the

summer to see if there's any European

countries that are going to let English

people in. I can't get the vaccine because

I'm too young and attractive, but the

vaccine for my age group I think is going

to come become available,

maybe September. First they're doing old

people, so 60+, 50+,

they may have been vaccinated already.

But 30+, I'm not sure when they're

vaccinating my age group.

I don't really want to get the vaccine,

but if it's going to be a requirement to

travel, then I guess I'm going to have to

get it.

Someone nice messaged me.

Do I think the troll is McLovin? Maybe.

Why can't he leave me alone? He's getting

annoying.

My friend, 30 years old, got vaccinated

yesterday. Where is he from? Is it

England?

I guess it'd be interesting for content if

I could get vaccinated. I could stream.

Title would be, I got the virus— I mean,

I got the vaccination. I'm dying.

I feel sick.

My urine is green. England will

do 30s next month. Really? Wow, I could

travel then. When will 30s

Get vaccine UK.

It says 40 to 44s expected next week,

so 30s might be in a few months' time.

Dull content. What kind of content do you

want?

There's not a lot I can do content-wise.

No one wants to meet up, no one wants to

do stuff with me publicly.

When am I gonna tap Gianni Lee's booty?

She's quite pretty. She's okay looking.

Her body is nice. I wouldn't

say no.

Why do you have 2 separate Streamlabs

accounts for YT and Twitch?

Um, I don't know. I thought you

had to have 2 separate ones. Because if

you use the Twitch one, then it will go to

my Twitch thing, and I'm not streaming on

Twitch now. I'm not really sure how

Is Pia pregnant? Why are people saying Pia

is pregnant? I'm pretty sure she's not

pregnant.

I have never gotten a girl pregnant

before, so why would Pia suddenly be the

special girl that my seed worked on?

And I thought she had the hook thing that

stops pregnancy.

I'm pretty sure my sperm doesn't work,

because I've never gotten a girl pregnant

Do do do do do.

Yeah, I guess it is a good thing. It'd be

kind of annoying. Imagine if I

accidentally got Mida pregnant, or

actually got one of my exes pregnant and

they wanted the baby.

That would be a bit inconvenient.

Well, it depends if they wanted me

involved or not. If they don't want me

involved, then sure, whatever. Can have my

baby, but I can't— I don't really have

much to offer if you do get pregnant.

I can give you £100 a month, maybe.

Pregnancy isn't a girl issue? Then how

come I've never gotten any of my exes

pregnant? And I only used protection with

a few of them.

Most of my exes, we just did it raw.

No protection, no nothing.

Maybe because you're infertile.

Hopefully. I'd rather be infertile than

have really powerful sperm that got

everyone pregnant.

How did Pierre and Cesium get involved so

closely? W, did you know them IRL or did

they intrude? SMTH.

I don't know. I met Pia 2019

because she messaged me on Discord.

I didn't know them in real life.

They're just very persistent people. They

don't take no for an answer. You tell them

don't come to my house, they come anyway.

How about you take responsibility? How

about you fuck off, Kareem? Pissing me off

now. Who do you think you are?

Do you want to get banned?

Fucking idiot, telling me to take

responsibility. Why don't you take this

and shove it up your ass, bitch?

Take responsibility.

Only one ex-girlfriend was on the pill.

And she was always on the pill because

she's a humble woman.

Do food reviews, YTW1NK.

Yeah, I would do food reviews if I was

back in Japan. I would have done a whole

Japanese convenience store food review

series. I should have done that when I was

there. I would do Japanese convenience

store Fried chicken part 1. Japanese

convenience store. Whatever.

Let me

think. So Korean ex always made me

use a condom. French girlfriend was

already on the pill because she's a

Frenchie. And then chlamydia girlfriend

had nothing. That's why she got chlamydia

and gave it to me. I mean, if she used

something, then I wouldn't have gotten

chlamydia from her. Um, single mother,

we didn't use anything because she wanted

my babies. She wanted to get pregnant,

she said, but because my sperm doesn't

work, nothing happened. I asked

her if she was on protection. She said no.

She said She didn't mind if she got

pregnant. I was like, wow, wow, okay.

And, um, yeah, Chihiro went on the pill

after we started dating.

Can you hear that bloody music?

Jesus Christ, how do they drive around

with music that loud?

Don't they go deaf? I can hear it so

clearly from here, and I'm inside a room

with closed windows, closed doors,

really far away. Risk crumbed skies cancel

family main kiddo Justin Dawn IDKI if you

get to Il def is still on still.

What? Don't understand a word.

You ever considered becoming a male

escort? Some would pay top dollar dollar

dollar dollar. I did think about it, but

I'd be too scared. How powerful is

Chihiro? I'd be scared that the guy's

dick's really big and then he might be

crazy or something. What do you mean, how

powerful? She's pretty weak. I could beat

her up pretty easily. I think I could beat

up all my exes. They're just weak women.

I'd so win in a fight if I had to fight

Chihiro. Do you think she could beat me

No. Mira would knock you out. No, Mira's

weak. She couldn't even do one push-up.

I can do like 30 push-ups. She couldn't

even do one. There's no way she could lift

my 25-pound dumbbell.

Women are pretty weak. They— I bet they

can't even do one bicep curl on my

weights.

Why do you ban everyone on Discord?

I don't ban everyone. I just ban people

when they irritate me. People who irritate

me, they keep spamming the N-word when I

say don't spam the bloody N-word because

it's gonna get me in trouble. And stop

spamming your stupid ugly selfies. No one

wants to see your face. And then they keep

interrupting me when I'm trying to talk.

If you interrupt me and ignore me whilst

I'm trying to say stuff, I'm gonna ban

you. I hate it when people interrupt

me and talk over me and just ignore what

I'm saying. That's why I don't talk to

people in real life. So I tried— when I

was in the guest house, I tried

socializing, and it's like every time I

tried to say something, someone just spoke

at the exact same time I spoke and then

just spoke over me.

I can't stand it when that happens.

There's like silence and you think, oh,

now's a good time to say something. You

open your mouth and then the stupid

loudmouth American starts talking as soon

as you do.

Oh, thank you, Underground.

Congratulations on the new job.

Very exciting.

Start on Monday.

Danny, congratulations on the new job,

man.

I got a nice message. You're more

entertaining with alcohol. If I send

alcohol to your house, will you stream

drinking or not? Yeah, I'd drink it if you

sent it.

Um,

I would buy more, it's just these beers

are a bit expensive. It was about £18 just

for 5. But they also give you a glass.

He never reads the comment. I just read a

comment. What are you talking about?

Do I like sardines? Yeah. Quite like oily

fish. I like kipper, mackerel.

You can get better beer at shops. Yeah, I

guess so. It's a bit overpriced and it

just tastes like normal beer. I don't

really like these fruity, zesty beers. I

prefer those meaty beers,

lagers, but I don't like the really bitter

Oh, they have bacon curing sets on Amazon.

I was wondering if it would be interesting

to make my own bacon, but I need to buy

pork belly and then apply the curing

salts to it and then hang it for like a

week in the fridge. Sounds like a bit of a

hassle. You get the curing salts

and you gotta rub it into the meat and

apply the nitrates and nitrites, and then

you gotta hang it up. I think you hang it

in the fridge.

Could be interesting.

Did I buy Amazon stock? No, but I bought a

bit of Tesla today for about $670.

Bought a couple hundred dollars of Tesla.

$670 seems like a good entry point.

Which politician would I have cereal with?

That Priti Patel looks pretty sexy.

She looks like she would tie me up and

whip me and give me a prostate massage and

then piss on my face.

Did I buy Ethereum? No, I bought it at

$500, now it's at $2,700 and I sold it.

Nice cosplay. What do you mean? It's my

work uniform.

Do do do do do do do do.

I'm working in retail.

I've got to look the part.

Take off my shirt? No, I'm not taking

it off.

Did your mum Iron it. You don't need to

iron a shirt. It looks fine like this.

I think it looks good.

Oh, it's getting dark now.

Tuck in or tuck out? I have it tucked out

now.

Tuck it in. Let me see what it looks like

when it's tucked in.

That's too tucked in.

It looks weird when it's tucked in.

Can you say hammy mac in a Liverpool

accent? No, I cannot.

What is a hammy mac?

You have abs. I don't think I have abs.

My stomach's getting a bit fat, actually.

No,

there's nothing there.

It's just flab.

Am I planning on getting married?

No.

Might go for dinner soon, and then I have

to get ready for work. Got a busy day

ahead.

Busy day at the shop.

Am I gonna vlog at work? No, I would get

fired.

Haters. The haters just jealous because

they can't get a job like me.

Oh, my vape tastes like smoke now. I need

to put some liquid.

Isn't there an easy way to put the liquid

Maybe it goes in here.

Oh no, no, no, it doesn't. Okay,

now it's spinning. You have to unscrew the

whole thing to put the liquid in,

and you gotta squirt it in using these

little things.

Am I moving to Spain? No,

but if they open up for tourism, I might

go for a couple months, maybe.

I always make a mess with this.

Do I miss the Scottish bus? No, I hated

him. He was such a horrible person. He

kept saying I was slow, kept swearing at

me as well. And then when I quit,

he said that I was the worst kitchen

porter he's ever had. And then he asked me

what, what my new job was gonna be. I said

office, and then he just started saying

that I'm gonna be terrible at my new job.

Because communication is not one of my

strong points.

What a loser. It just shows all these

scumbag people out in the world.

Instead of, good luck on your new job,

Daniel, he says stuff like,

oh, you know, you need good communication

skills to work in an office. It's not

really what you're good at. Like,

why are you insulting me? I'm already

leaving. It's like he was

all upset because I quit on him and he

didn't get to fire me. Maybe he wanted to

fire me.

It was annoying because I quite liked that

job. It was very relaxed and laid-back.

With the old boss, and then the old boss

left, and then he came to take over, and

he was just a massive prick.

He kept complaining I was too slow when

there was hardly any customers there

anyway. There were like 5 customers coming

during the day.

If I washed everything really quickly, I

could have finished all of the work in 10

minutes, and then I'd just be standing

there because there's nothing else to do.

And then one morning I went into work and

there was some kid standing doing my job.

I went into work and there was just a kid

standing there doing my job, washing the

dishes. So I didn't know what to do.

So I just stood next to him. And then the

Scottish boss comes in and starts shouting

at me again because I wasn't doing

anything. Obviously I'm not doing anything

because you got some new person to do my

job for me. What am I supposed to do?

And then he, he sent me to his

house to clean his house, and I had to

spend all day cleaning his house because

it was, it was a special house for the

manager of the pub, and he moved in there

after the previous people moved out.

One time he started boiling potatoes in a

pot and then he walked out the kitchen to

do something and then the potatoes were

boiling over and bubbling a lot and I just

ignored it. I thought that's what he

wanted them to do. He came back into the

kitchen and started screaming at me,

saying that

I should have been watching his potatoes

and why did I let it boil over. He was

really shouting at me, like seriously,

like effing this and effing that. Why the

fuck did you turn down the fucking water?

Why'd you just let it fucking boil over?

Like he was having a mental breakdown over

some potatoes. I didn't know.

You're the one cooking the potatoes.

Why did you walk out the kitchen if you're

cooking potatoes, idiot?

And then if I turned off the fire, he

could have come in and said, why the fuck

did you turn off my potato fire? Don't

fucking touch my cooking. If I'm

cooking, don't fucking touch. He might

have said something like that if I touched

it. I didn't know what to do.

I thought he was coming back.

Worst boss I ever had.

My, my previous boss never complained

about anything when I worked there. She

was completely happy with my performance,

so I thought I'll just carry on like I

usually did. She never said

I was too slow. She never started shouting

at me. It's not— I

worked there for nearly 2 years, a year

and a half and a bit,

and everything was fine until that stupid

new Scottish guy came.

He ended up leaving as well because the

business just wasn't making

any money, so he couldn't even save the

business with his Gordon Ramsay style.

Of shouting at people.

What's the Scottish guy's name? I actually

forgot. It was probably something really

common like John. I don't

Yes, refilled my vape.

Have you ever killed someone, Daniel?

No, why would you ever think that?

Is it weird to say thanks babe? Do you

think it's really cringe?

Thanks babe, and then kiss emoji.

Uh, too late, I sent it.

I think I'm watching too much Andy. Andy

Milonakis keeps saying that as well.

Why am I green? Where's the green coming

from?

There's a green light on the stream, but I

don't see where it's coming from.

It's from my vape. No, I think it's from

my RGB keyboard.

Any luck finding a black girlfriend? I

don't know any black girls.

Look at

these morons donating $2 just to say like

50 characters when you can use Streamlabs

for $1. $1.

Yeah, there's a green light, you can see

That's weird.

Working 40 hours a week, he says, lasers

around his room every day. What do you

mean? I'm going to work after I finish the

stream. How dare you.

How dare you insinuate that I

lay around doing nothing.

A lot of these messages are getting

moderated. Held for review.

Sex with black woman. Yeah, I wouldn't say

no. But I don't know if I'd date

one unless she's really cute looking.

Recently I like watching Tiny Man F's Big

Woman, and there's some Japanese stuff.

The Japanese girl's really cute, but she's

like 6 foot tall and the guy's like 5 foot

2. It's really weird,

but it's pretty cool. And hot.

There's this one really tall Japanese

girl. She's so cute. She's got like the

really straight, sleek black hair that I

find attractive.

Don't ruin any more girls' lives. What do

you mean? Currently chatting to

a nice English girl.

She said she wants to meet up, but We

haven't arranged like a date to meet

I guess we have to wait until London

reopens. Right now I can't really arrange

anything, but I hope she's

not going to change her mind. Wow, a

professional retail job that starts at

night. You found a unicorn.

What time do you start? S. Starting at

about half past 9 PM in the evening.

I've got to get ready, my lunchbox and my

sandwich. It's just a quarter shift

because I'm training now. It's not going

to be a full shift until my training is

finished.

How do I make sure people message you

aren't trolls? I just, I kind of trust

them if they've got a legitimate-looking

Instagram page that doesn't look like it

was made 2 days ago. If it was made, if

it's got like 500 followers and it's got

loads of pictures taken years ago,

then it's It's likely that it's a

real account and not just like a fake one.

You can tell if they've got zero followers

and they've got no photos, then I'd be a

bit suspicious.

Are you coming back to Cooking with

Daniel? No, not whilst I'm at home.

It's really difficult. I need to be living

alone to do that. I don't know what I'm

gonna have for dinner. Hopefully there's

food downstairs.

I can't remember the last time I had a

good dinner. It's just really boring every

day. What did I have yesterday?

Oh, yesterday I had sushi. My mum bought

some sushi. It was good.

Why is sushi here so much better than

Japanese sushi? Here they give you avocado

and lemon. They've got avocado salmon

rolls and they give you a slice of lemon

you can squeeze onto it. Japanese people

never have lemon on their sushi. But it

tastes so good. Lemon on the raw salmon

with a bit of avocado. Japanese people

don't know how to eat sushi. What happened

to the weird girl that messaged you on

Facebook during streams? Will you

cereal her? I don't know, she's weird.

She's just spammed like a load of

nonsense. At me. She started

spamming the N-word at me, and then she

started spamming random letters.

Really weird. I don't even know who she

is. I don't know why I accepted her on

Facebook. I don't even know if she's

a real person.

What pipe is that? I should put an Amazon

link so I get money if you buy it.

It's called Kamry, K-A-M-R-Y,

made in China. It's pretty nice.

Hi Daniel, congrats on the new job.

Really happy for you. Oh, thanks so much.

I'm so happy I got a job finally.

Now I can start saving for my pension and

my future.

So amazing.

The problem is, um,

I buy stuff on the UK Amazon and a lot of

this stuff is not on the US Amazon, and I

think most people here are US people.

And my Amazon Affiliates is signed up

using the US Amazon, and when I change to

UK Amazon, um,

I don't think I even have an Amazon

Affiliates on the UK Amazon, so I'd have

to sign up for a brand new Amazon

Affiliates. I don't know if it does

cross-platform.

Yeah, there's probably more Europeans than

Americans actually. I think Americans make

up about 26%, but then all of

Europe plus England probably makes about

30%. England alone makes

up about 16 or 17%, and then all the other

European countries are like 5%, 6%.

2%, 3%.

Wait, I've got more pics. In my shirt,

my shirt and tie.

I wonder if I should send this one.

Do you like my tie?

I put it on my Instagram, the picture.

Do you like it? It seems

like a lot of people like it when I wear a

shirt and tie.

I feel like a lot of the reasons why I

managed to get Mila back was because I

posted that picture in the shirt and tie.

And then that's when she unmatched— I

mean, she unfriended me on Instagram

around the time I put the shirt and tie

picture up. I think she saw that picture

and she was like, wow, Daniel's hot. And

then she unfriended me because she didn't

want to change her mind and meet me again.

So she unfriended me to resist temptation.

That's my theory.

I look pretty good in a shirt and tie,

don't I?

Don't you think?

What's the point of the job gag? What do

you mean gag? I got a job.

I thought that's what you wanted. I can't

win, can I? When I don't get a job,

everyone's like, Daniel, why don't you get

a job? You're such a loser. And then when

I do get a job, everyone's like, oh, why

are you pretending you got a job?

Can't win, can I?

What's the job? I am a sales assistant

at a very high-prestiged retail

shop in downtown

Harrietsham,

and I also got a Company work phone.

Hello, Daniel here.

Shouldn't you be working here? Shouldn't