I bought a vaping thing

This

is broken, actually. Fuck.

Disconnect.

Oh yeah. Reconnect G.

Okay, I think connection's good

now.

Testing, testing.

Look what I got,

look what I got at the shop.

Yes, I mean just now.

That's good juice. Okay, so I

just got myself a vaping starter

kit. Hopefully this is the right thing. I

was a bit confused at the shop because

they had different types of vapes and one

of them only, only lets you use nicotine

stuff, but this one is nicotine-free

green apple flavor.

Green apple flavor sounds quite nice.

Never tried a vape.

My blue starter

I'm sweating.

User manual, it's all in Japanese,

too lazy to read it. And we have a member—

new member registration flavor

pod present, whatever, don't need that.

Huh, it's quite, quite slim.

And we have— I don't know what this is.

I guess it goes onto the end of it. A

little black box. Maybe this is

the charging Charging

USB-C, just as I predicted.

That's it really, that's all that's in the

I think this bit is what you suck on. Oh

look, there's liquid inside of it. It says

M Light.

Smells like mint. It smells like,

uh, Kendall mint cake or mint ice cream.

What's in here? 2 liquid pods.

Dropped. Oh, it's the same, so I have

different liquid pods. Oh, this is apple,

green apple.

Whoa, it smells like apple! It smells

really nice. Mint smells quite nice too,

but I like the apple smell. Apple smells

quite good to me. So how do I do it? I

guess I just put it in here.

Then what?

Is it on the right way? Which way does it

go? Does it matter?

How do I turn it on?

I'm scared. What if it blows up in

my face? I'm sweating.

Sweating.

I'm not going to get addicted, don't

worry. I'm just going to try it, see what

How do you turn it on? Is it already on?

Eugh. Do I have to turn it

on? Maybe it's already on.

Ah! It came out my mouth! Did you see

that? That's weird.

Tastes like apple.

It tastes like apple.

Watch, watch.

It popped inside my mouth,

and it's warm when I breathe. When I suck

it in, it's warm inside my mouth.

It just tastes like apple. I don't see the

point of it. Why? If you want to taste

apples, just eat an apple.

This is funny. It's like smoke.

Give us a close-up. Okay.

Do I look cool?

I'm a cool kid now.

Do I look cool?

So guess, guess why I suddenly decided to

get a vape? Because my hero Ice Poseidon,

he always vapes, and I thought he looked

cool doing it.

It's not smoking, there's no nicotine in

it, it's just apple. It's like an apple

mist. You know, you go into shops and they

have those air purifiers, they're blowing

out steam. It's just like that, but it

tastes like apple.

It makes a funny crackling sound when I

suck it. Inhale it into your

lungs. No, that's scary.

It's pretty funny.

It just, it just flows out of your mouth.

Okay, I'll try inhaling it.

I'm a bit scared though.

I don't like it. Doesn't feel good.

It feels weird. It's like someone put

their finger into my throat. What's the

point of inhaling it?

Okay, I'm not gonna inhale it anymore.

I'm just gonna suck it.

I'm not sure. I feel like I wasted my

money. Costs about $30,

about ¥3,000. I don't

see the point of it.

Can make it come out my nose.

Try rings. How do I do a ring?

I don't want nicotine. I don't want to get

addicted.

Well, that was fun, I guess.

Now it's all steamy. Make an

O with your mouth and exhale. Okay.

Try again.

It's not working.

Excuse me.

It's not smoke, it's steam.

Oh, I did it! I made a ring. Did you see

it? I did it. Watch.

How does it taste like? It tastes like

apple.

I want to try the mint one. Where's the

mint?

Oh, I don't like

this one.

It's weird. It tastes like my

armpit. It has that aftertaste like my

armpit does.

Okay, what should we do now? That was a

waste of money.

Tastes like I licked my armpit.

Did I

smoke before? I tried Cigarettes when I

was about 16. Didn't like it.

Okay, so what should I do now?

I like the apple one better. This one

doesn't taste good. It smells like mint,

but it tastes like armpit.

Am I taking it back in my lungs? No, it

doesn't feel good. I don't like it in my

lungs. It's getting a bit smoky.

Turn on the fan.

Watch.

Oh, it's just blowing it away.

So do you think I'm cool now?

Daniel, I thought you hated drugs. It's

not a drug, it's just vapor.

It's pretty nice. Device, isn't it?

I like the Apple one better. Apple tastes

Oh, I dropped it.

How come this one's so small, but you see

some people, they have those massive big

chunky block ones? Why are those so big

and this one's so small?

Haha. I look cool.

You're just jealous because you don't have

a blue vape. Blue boy.

Why have a big one when you can get a

small one?

I was gonna do cooking today. I'm not sure

now. I was gonna do, uh,

pork— deep-fried pork chops.

I feel lazy though. I can't be bothered.

He's copying Ice. No, Ice copied me.

I was alive way before Ice was.

Oh, it's going up my nose.

Are you allowed to vape outside in Japan,

or do you have to find a smoking place?

I don't know, I don't see

the point of it. It's kind of fun blowing

clouds out, but then it gets boring.

So what do you want to do now? Oh, my, my

channel is trending on some kind of

subreddit now called r/FunnyAndSad,

and it has 11,000 upvotes. So I gained

nearly 400 new subs last night, so that's

pretty cool. In case you're wondering why

my subs have suddenly started going up,

no, I did not buy them.

I just got memed on a subreddit and it has

11,000 upvotes. Can you believe that?

Oh, thank you, Anonymous. You need to do a

workout, Ark. You look like a soy boy. I

do work out. I do 50 push-ups every day,

and sometimes I go for walks.

They keep sharing the same picture of all

my silly video titles.

You know, I don't know if you've seen the

picture. It's like a picture of my

thumbnails and the titles, and it goes, I

found a girlfriend, my girlfriend left me

for a white guy,

I broke up with my girlfriend, I'm never

dating Asian women again, I got a new

girlfriend, Japanese girlfriend, I'm

getting married to my girlfriend, I may

have impregnated my girlfriend. And then

it says, I left, we got married, and my

wife kicked me out, blah blah blah blah.

I've got muscle, look.

See that bulge? If I had no muscle, it

would just be flat. I've got a bulge.

Don't think just because I'm skinny I'm

weak. Chimpanzees, they look skinny, but

they'll rip your arm off.

Ha! I'm getting good at it. I'm a

pro vaper.

You look at chimpanzees and baboons, they

look really skinny, but they're probably

10 times stronger than any human.

What do I do that builds muscle? I do

push-ups.

I feel cool. I feel like I'm in with the

cool kids now. I might

do some Japanese cooking. Who knows

what tonkatsu is? It's a deep-fried pork

chop covered in breadcrumbs, but it's a

lot of work. I need to get eggs and I

need— what else do I need? I need eggs,

flour, breadcrumbs, and then what's the

order? Is it flour first and

then eggs? And then the breadcrumbs.

I think it's flour, eggs, breadcrumbs,

and then deep fry.

What flavor is the vape? I've got apple

and I've got mint. I don't like the mint

one. It smells nice, but it tastes like

armpit. But I like the taste of my armpit.

It's very nice smelling.

Do you want to smell it? Sometimes I

rub my armpit and then I put my fingers in

my wife's face. She doesn't like smelling

it.

Me and my wife, we're meeting 2 lesbians

tomorrow. I'm not sure if I'm allowed to

make a video about it. So I think she

said it's a 40-year-old Japanese woman and

a 20-year-old— a Filipino girl in her 20s.

Isn't that weird? That's kind

of weird, and I don't think they're going

to be happy with me filming them. My wife

says something about being, being a

lesbian in the Philippines is illegal or

something. If they found out that she's a

lesbian, she might get in trouble, or they

might get in trouble at work. I don't

know. Uh, but what's

the point of doing things if I can't make

content out of it? I've only got 2

motivations in life, and that's sex and

content. Now I'm married,

I can't use sex as motivation anymore, so

my only motivation to do anything is for

content. So tomorrow I'm gonna meet these

lesbians. It would make pretty interesting

content, but I don't think they'll be okay

with being filmed. Maybe I'll film them

I inhaled it and I didn't cough.

Doesn't really feel like anything though,

it's just Gives me this weird sensation in

the back of my throat. What content?

Excuse me, meeting the Hong Kong guy,

meeting Ice Poseidon, cat cafes, going to

restaurants. There's plenty of content on

my channel, just open your eyes.

I do lots of things, but people don't seem

to care. And then they complain that I

just sit inside my house all day when

that's not true. I went to— I went— I did

a stream outside Osaka, rode the Ferris

Just search hiding in my room cat cafe and

it will come up. My cat cafe experience.

I might go to another one, but this time I

could livestream it.

I don't like it. It feels like I'm

choking. How do people enjoy doing that?

I pushed myself out of my comfort zone

quite a lot recently, meeting guys. I

don't usually meet guys.

It's more fun to suck it and blow it out.

I don't want to inhale it, doesn't feel

good.

Can I explain why bitches love me?

Because in Japan, slim,

feminine, kind of boyish-looking guys are

what's considered to be attractive. And as

a slim, boyish, feminine-looking guy, the

ladies quite like me. They like me more

than Western ladies do.

I'm not gonna vape properly. I just bought

it, you know, for fun. Do it on the

stream, see what happens. After I finish

these ones, I'm not gonna buy anymore. I

just don't really see the point of it.

I've actually been told by several

Japanese women that they prefer my type,

my kind of body over

those big muscular guys because Japanese

women feel intimidated by those big

muscular tall Western guys. They don't

want to feel intimidated, they want to

feel safe, and you don't make a woman feel

safe by having a ripped 6-pack and being 6

foot tall. That's just going to scare her

and make her feel intimidated. I don't

intimidate women, I make them feel

comfortable. That's why they like me.

Tiny little Japanese women, they find

muscles and big beast-like men to be

scary. I've been told by several Japanese

women.

Look at Japanese boy bands. The most

popular Japanese boy bands and idols,

they look like me. They're not ripped,

they're masculine. They have

feminine-looking faces and

feminine-looking hairstyles because that's

what Japanese women like. Just look up

Japanese boy band on Google. They, they

look feminine.

Meet Kanae and have a debate with him.

About what? That would be like debating

with a brick wall.

My look isn't unattractive. A lot of women

find my look to be attractive. Why do

you think I had sex with over 20 women?

Who here can honestly say they had sex

with over 20 women? I don't think a lot of

you can say that, but I can.

Oh, it looks magical. Look at that.

Debating with me wouldn't be like debating

with a brick wall. No, because I'm smart.

Hahaha, look, it's in the glass.

It's trapped in the glass.

You like that? Do you like that vapor in

your face?

So sad, bragging about 20. I'm not

bragging, I'm saying that if women didn't

find me attractive, I wouldn't be able to

say that I've slept with over 20 women.

If you're a guy, then how are you going to

understand what women like? Are you a

woman? No. So how do you know what a woman

likes or dislikes?

There's no battery indicator on this, so I

don't know how long it's going to last.

Only cost, uh,

¥2,200, about $20. And then the,

the apple flavor costs about $10.

It's zero nicotine. I'm not,

not interested in getting addicted to

nicotine, but I

feel pretty cool.

Am I

acting? No, just relaxing,

being myself.

Why do I taste my armpits? Because I like

the smell and I like the way it tastes.

I think it smells nice. It's very bitter.

Like a lager.

If you're gonna do something, you should

do it right, maybe.

Would I lick a girl's armpit? I do.

I sniff my wife's armpit, but it smells

like nothing. My wife

has no smell. Even if she's sweating,

there's no smell. It's weird. I'm barely

sweating now, but my armpits already

starting to smell, and I had a shower a

few hours ago.

So it's been 45 minutes. What should I do

now? Should I bring out the cooking stuff?

Are you bored with me vaping yet?

I need to make lunch.

I might make, make it and then not eat it,

save it for my wife.

How do

they smoke? They do 2 fingers, don't they?

Like this.

Sounds like it's raining. It is. It's been

raining for about 2 weeks straight now.

It's crazy. I'm not complaining because

it's brought the heat right down. If it

doesn't rain, it's so hot. Today it's not

hot at all. It's pretty nice today.

You are disgusting. That's not very nice.

And you're not disgusting? I mean, you

probably shit and piss and cum as well.

We're all disgusting, really.

I was watching Pornhub today. I was

watching men having sex with their love

dolls, and it was pretty hot. It's pretty

realistic, actually.

You'd think, well, a love doll looks quite

realistic, but there's no way it would

actually turn you on. But I was watching

this guy screw his love doll, and it's

pretty arousing.

I'm, I'm still not sure about getting one.

It's just so expensive and

such a hassle having to clean it. I'd have

to carry it to the shower to clean it off.

I'm not sure why I was aroused though.

Was I aroused by the sex doll or by the

guy's dick? Starting to show an interest

in guys' dicks for some reason.

I'm not gay. I'm just saying that other

guys' penises, some of them have nice

penises.

Do I miss England? Not really. There's

nothing about England I miss. Okay,

that's not true. I miss the bacon, I miss

the pot noodle, I miss things like quiche,

Scotch eggs, pork pies. You can't really

get those here in Japan. It's so weird,

Japanese people don't eat pie.

They don't eat pie at all. In England, we

have beef pie, steak and kidney pie,

chicken pie, shepherd's pie,

pork pies. Everything is a pie in

England. In Japan, there's nothing that's

made out of pastry.

Maybe you can get apple pies, but that's

it. No mince pies.

I'm thinking about getting a box of

English food again like I did last time.

Get some Pot Noodle, Monster Munch.

I don't understand how an entire country

doesn't eat pie. It's delicious.

You have the, the savoriness, the

flakiness of the pastry, the juiciness

of the meat, the gravy, the vegetables.

It's just delicious. It's like one nice

little package full of flavor.

Would I go back to Germany? I would never

ever go back to Germany ever again. So

Where's my phone?

Okay, let me get my, my pork chop out.

We'll get cracking. I need breadcrumbs.

I need flour.

Is this flour? Komugi ko. Yeah, it's

flour.

Oh, this is going to be such a lot of

work. Do you know how much washing up

I would buy his wife's feet pics. Well, I

would sell them to you if you're

I've got one request from this person to

make foot videos. He paid me

a couple hundred— no,

just 100. For some foot videos, I said

sure, why not? My channel's dying, I need

money. Why the fuck not?

Why not? Money is money.

I don't care anymore.

I just don't care anymore.

I'm going to teach you how to make

authentic Japanese tonkatsu.

Okay, so first of all, we need some flour.

And breadcrumbs.

First, pour your breadcrumbs into a

plate like this.

Try not to spill it.

And just make it flat.

And then get your egg,

put it into a bowl. I feel

a bit sick. I think that vaping stuff is

making me feel sick. I just feel kind of

carsick. You know

that feeling when you feel carsick?

Oh, and get your flour for this bowl and

then have a vape.

Gives it some added flavor.

Oh, mystical.

Just makes it look more magical. Okay,

then we need to get the pork chop.

Where's my pork chop?

And we need to whisk the egg so it goes—

so it gets mixed

up, mixed together like this.

Okay, uh, next step, get the pork chops.

Watch, watch this. If you make a tiny

incision to the pork chop

container like that,

and then you take a vape.

You can blow the vape inside of the

plastic packaging. It's pretty cool. It's

just a party trick I learned just now.

And then you press it, it puffs out.

Look, the pork chop package is vaping.

It's pretty funny. You can try that if

you go to a party, impress your friends.

Okay, get your pork chops.

Now you could just pour the flour directly

onto the pork chops. You could just mix it

all in into this plastic Polystyrene

container saves washing up.

We might need a bit more.

I think it's flour, egg, and then

breadcrumbs. That is the order.

Order.

It's quite, quite nice touching the meat

with the flour. The flour is so soft. And

the meat's so squidgy. Just rub it on like

this. Make sure you cover every part.

We don't want any exposed pieces of pork.

We want the whole thing to be covered.

I feel sick. I don't think vaping's for

Oh wait, I need salt, don't I? Do I need

to season it? I should have mixed salt

into the flour.

I don't think I need salt because I'll

just get some sauce and then dip it into

the sauce and eat it. So don't worry about

sauce— I mean, don't worry about salt.

Okay, next step, we need to dip it into

the egg.

It's going to get a bit messy, so if you

don't like mess, you might not want to

Oh, thank you, Caleb. What am I cooking?

I'm cooking tonkatsu,

Japanese deep-fried pork.

Okay, next put it into the egg.

Dip it into the egg like this.

It looks like a big fat piece of bacon.

Dip it into the egg and then straight into

the breadcrumbs like that.

Might need more breadcrumbs.

Don't worry about seasoning because I'm

going to use sauce and then dip, dip it

into sauce. After it's cooked.

And that is one prepared.

Whoa, look at my fingers.

More breadcrumbs, and then put the next

one into the egg.

It's not difficult, it's just messy.

There's no way to do this without making a

mess. It's just messy.

Can't really avoid it.

Ew, it's going to taste like nothing. It

won't because I'll dip it into sauce.

Uh, it's all caked on my fingers.

Ew, yuck, it's like a sticky glue.

Am I going to eat all 3? Um, I'll probably

just eat one and then save the other 2 for

me and my wife for dinner.

It's quite fitting.

And that's, that's everything finished

basically. Let's clear this up now.

Clear this up.

I refuse to believe Daniel is a good cook.

I am a good cook. I can make tasty food.

When you go down to the woods today,

you're in for a big surprise.

First, we need to clean our cooking

surface.

Okay, let's bring out the deep fat fryer.

Should I do it on the table or should I

move over to the floor?

I think I'm going to move over to the

floor because there's more space.

Let's go.

Plug it

in. Now we need some oil.

We need some oil.

I'm so hot right now.

I have to turn the air conditioning on.

I've used nearly the whole bottle just for

this. It's a lot of oil.

I think that's enough.

Now we need our cooking chopsticks.

And next, just need to turn it on and wait

for it to heat up. It's not really

complicated.

I don't reuse the oil. That's That's

disgusting. That's unhealthy. Do you

know how much cancer you get from reusing

the same oil? Because when you deep fry

it, all the cancer components get into the

oil, and then you're just reheating it,

and then you just increase the amount of

cancer when you fry the next piece.

I don't need to season it.

It's going to be full of flavor just with

the pork fat and the egg and then some

sauce. It'll be fine.

We need to wait until it's very, very hot.

No, it's still not hot enough.

Do I do requests with TTS? I do anything

for TTS.

You can test the oil by putting some

crumbs, see what happens. If nothing

happens, this means it's not hot enough.

I can hear it popping. It's getting hot.

Good.

I could just put the pork into the

basket so it's ready to go. That'll be a

It's a nice size, the basket. It's a nice

size for the pork chop.

Don't worry about bacteria, you know, the

whole cooking process kills off all the

bacteria. Bacteria isn't going to survive

in boiling oil.

Come on guys, it's called science.

Everyone knows this stuff.

Cooking kills off 99.9% bacteria.

That's why we cook. We cook because our

stomachs aren't strong enough like proper

meat eaters. Proper meat eaters like

tigers or vultures, they have stomach acid

strong enough to be able to kill off

viruses and bacteria. But our stomachs

aren't strong enough. That's why we can't—

well, we can eat raw meat, but it's not

recommended. It's dangerous. Cooking just

makes food safe to eat and tasty.

Humans' digestive system isn't really

designed for meat consumption.

Most carnivores have short, short

digestion tracts compared to us. We have

very, very long large intestines,

small intestines, because we're designed

to digest fruit and vegetables.

If you look at dogs' intestines, they'll

be very short, so it passes the meat out

of the body as quickly as possible after

the nutrients have been absorbed.

Otherwise the meat stays in the body for

too long, starts to rot.

Vultures, they can eat rotting meat and

they're completely fine because the

stomach acid in a vulture's stomach is 10

times stronger than the humans.

And we just deep fry it until it goes

golden brown, and that's it really.

Pretty simple.

That's a very nice sound.

Whoa, it's kind of orangey. I want it to

go browner. It's the sound of cooking.

Ouch, the oil's burning me.

Uh-huh, I think that's,

that's enough. It's quite brown.

We don't want it too brown. When things

are too brown, it's never good. The

browner things are, it means it's more

cancerous. Basically, when the food goes—

when the food gets burnt, the black bits

are carcinogenic. You don't want

to eat the black bits. It's just pure

cancer. Now you see that? That is a nice

brown, light brown, crisp crunchy.

I need to get another plate. Oh, thank you

for the whatever that was,

uh, the Super Chat, Reese Madden. Thanks.

Okay, let me get a plate.

I need to take my shirt off,

but I want to keep this stream

family-friendly.

It's raw inside? No. Okay, I'll put it in

Whoa,

bit longer.

Okay, that's enough. Take that out, give

it a bit of a tap. You want to drain the

oil. The more oil you can drain off it,

then the less cancerous it'll be.

Okay, we can prepare the next one.

Would you like to do the honors?

Here, pork chop number 2 going in.

Who dares me to put my hand into it? If I

can hold it in there for 5 seconds You

have to give me money.

Lower the temperature. I guess I could.

But it recommends tempura 200 degrees.

That's one very pretty looking pork chop.

Dip my penis inside for 5 seconds.

If I did, would my penis snap off?

If I was in charge of interrogating

people, I'd do so much weird stuff. Like I

would deep fry the prisoners' penises and

stuff and make make them eat it,

or I would drug them so they fall asleep,

and then whilst they're unconscious, deep

fry their dick. And then when they wake

up, feed it to them. They won't even know

Is it fully cooked inside? Let me see.

Who wants to bet that it's cooked inside?

Okay, let's get a close-up.

See, it's cooked. Can you see the middle?

That's cooked. It's all white. When it's

white, it means it's good to eat. Yeah,

that's fine,

it's fine.

What would I do if I one day woke up as a

Japanese woman? Well, I would furiously

finger myself first, and then I'd make

some naughty videos, sell them to

desperate men, go on Tinder. See what it

feels like getting fucked by a man.

Oh, thank you, Kawaii Bass,

for the $2.

Very generous.

Gonna go beat my meat. Keep up the random

content.

I think this is good wholesome content,

better than the drama stuff.

Most of you people won't know this, but

one of my dreams when I was younger was to

become a cook, to become good at cooking,

to work in a restaurant.

So this is kind of, kind of like my dream

coming true, making food for a bunch of

people, but you won't get to eat it, so

you won't know if it tastes bad or not.

Okay, last one.

Who's ready? The last one.

In the fryer. It's a

lovely golden brown. Look at that.

You'll never be a good cook if you don't

salt your food. Salt is bad for

Do you know how much cancer-causing

components are in salt? Nitrates.

Nitrate is one of the main carcinogens.

Less salt is good.

I'll get the seasoning sauce out since you

people are moaning about it. Where is it?

Got the variety of sauces. Got honey and

let's see what's in

here. What's this?

Worcester sauce.

Oh, that's pretty nice smelling. I'm going

to put some Worcester sauce onto

Worcester, from Worcestershire.

Who here is from Worcestershire?

Oh.

Oh, thank you. You're— W-H-E-R-E-S, the

lamb sauce? Exclamation mark.

W-X-W-X-W-X-W-X-W-X-W-X-W-X-W-X.

What's WX? Oh,

we're getting a bit of oil splashback onto

the floor, but that's okay. I'll mop it up

later. This one's for my wife.

Watch this, it's Worcester sauce.

Oh, I left a ring.

Put some Worcester sauce onto it.

And I want to get some salad, got some

cabbage,

got some lovely tomatoes.

And some cabbage.

WXWXWX. Sorry, no refunds.

Can't pick it up.

It's quite, quite a good lunch, I think.

Save this for dinner. Me and my wife will

have that for dinner. And that's it,

really. Finito.

Finito. Bon appetito.

Bring it

back over to the table.

Oh, I'm tired.

And I've got some Korean leaves.

It's called 우리 엄마 메공한

켜니프. Don't know what that means. I've got

some Korean leaves in a metal I'm gonna

crack that open in a minute.

Oh, there's breadcrumbs here.

Breadcrumbs everywhere.

Oh, thank you, Yurik. Skin or skinless?

What is skinless?

Might have to turn my fan on. It's just

That's a pretty good-looking lunch.

I don't want to sound like I'm bragging,

but, uh, I think I did a pretty good job

at cooking the tonkatsu.

Oh,

it's very

Oh,

I want

to see what's in this red, red tin can.

See if it tastes any good.

Oh, there's juice coming out of it.

Oh, it smells weird.

I don't know if I like that smell.

Oh, there's a lot of liquid in there. I'm

gonna have to drain it. Give me a second.

Tastes quite nice,

actually.

It tastes like chili.

I want to get some of these leaves out.

Grab it by the stem.

It's quite hard to get out. Might just use

I can't get it out. Come on, I have a

leaf. Put one here.

Quite good.

It's like a wet leaf, basically. That's

all it is.

It's a Japanese meal with a bit

of Korean influence.

Hmm,

it's pretty good. It actually

tastes very nice.

Try the leaf with it.

Oh,

that's pretty good.

That's a good leaf.

I want to try the deep-fried tomato.

Not bad, not bad.

Very nice.

These leaves are very nice.

You have to try it. Go to your Asian

supermarket. They'll have it, definitely.

It's either in a red tin can or a green

tin can, and then you just wrap it around

some meat.

This is the best lunch I've ever had.

I want another one. Tastes good.

Huh.

Where's my vape?

Finish off pork chop with a nice green

apple.

Very nice.

Daniel, can you say hi to me? Hello.

Can I fuck your wife? How much can you

You can fuck me for $100.

Put the leaves back in for next time.

So the leaves might look a bit strange if

you've never seen it before, but trust me,

it tastes delicious, especially when

you've got oily meats, fatty oily meats.

It just really adds some spunk.

It just freshens it up.

It's like a pickled leaf,

and it just cancels out the oiliness.

Very nice.

Can you not promote smoking to your

followers? It's not smoking, it's vaping.

It's very different.

If you want to be cool like Daniel, you

have to quit Quit school, quit your job,

and then start vaping.

Come to Japan, get on Tinder, get married,

and then you'll be living like a king like

This is life. I just cooked my own meal,

enjoyed deep-fried pork chops. Now I'm

having a little with

my dear friends on YouTube. And then later

I'm gonna play some Rainbow Six. Might

stream it on Twitch. If you want to see me

stream games, I stream games on Twitch.

Look for Daniel HMR.

I stream lunchtime on YouTube and then I

stream gaming on Twitch.

It's like I'm vomiting smoke.

Show abs. Okay.

It's not smoke, it's just green apple

moisture.

I really want another pork chop. Oh, but I

wanted to give it to my wife.

Should I save it, give it to my wife, or

should I be greedy and eat it myself?

Decisions. I think I'm gonna put

it in the fridge. I love my wife, boo.

She's hardworking. Put it in the fridge.

Love my waifu very

much.

I've got some popcorn if you want to eat

some popcorn. We could eat that together.

I'm not sure what flavor this is. Might be

weird.

Did you know popcorn is the strongest

antioxidant? It's actually a superfood.

A lot of people think popcorn is like junk

food because you get it at the super— at

the cinema. It's actually very healthy.

Hmm, it's a very strong antioxidant which,

which, um, stops cancer compounds from

forming.

Good source of fiber.

If you're having problems in the toilet,

get some popcorn. I've been eating popcorn

every day for about a week and I've never

had diarrhea ever since. I was having a

lot of diarrhea problems because I eat a

lot of fried food Ever since I started

eating popcorn, no more diarrhea.

It's great.

Where's my phone? I lost my phone. But if

you search up for popcorn, it's actually

one of the world's most powerful

superfoods.

It's, it's more effective than,

um, grapes or wine.

Grapes are supposed to be a very good

antioxidant. Popcorn is like 100 times

more powerful.

Tastes really good. Can't stop

eating it.

This is living. When you're in your

teens and your early 20s, life is like a

big struggle. You don't know what to do in

life, you're not making much money, you

hate your life, and then you get A bit

older, and then everything starts falling

together,

and then you can

start enjoying life.

You can barely take care of yourself.

Excuse me, what do you mean? I can cook

for myself, I can travel by myself,

I do my own dishes.

I'm a very capable person.

Actually, travel the world by myself.

Tastes like

I'm eating popcorn. With a hint of apple.

The trick is you put some popcorn in your

mouth, chew it, and then suck it,

and then breathe it out of your nose

whilst you carry on chewing the popcorn.

Oh, thank you, Bobby.

If you start vaping, I'm unsubbing. I'm

only vaping today. I'm not going to turn

it into a habit. I just wanted to try it.

And now that I have it, I might as well

use it.

I want to try new things.

I feel like I haven't tried a lot of

things, and at my age I should

have tried more things.

What should I try next?

Do I have leg hair? Yeah.

Oh,

sorry.

Thank you, Bobby. $1 for

my wife. That's very kind of you.

Oh, thank you. Where do babies come from?

Babies come from the vaginal area of

the lady.

I came out of my mum's vagina. Isn't that

weird? I was inside my mum.

I basically got squirted out of my dad's

dick. So gross when you think about it

like that. The only reason I exist is

because my dad fucks my mum.

That's weird. It was just

like a white blob of goo that came out of

him.

And that resulted in me.

What a crazy world.

I won the race. Yeah, out of all my dad's

sperm, I was the strongest.

I was the most competent sperm out of all

of them. Me. Isn't that strange

to think I was the most competent sperm?

Do you want

more popcorn? Okay.

That's all of it.

Have I ever eaten my girl's ass? A few

times. She's very shy about her anus.

Sometimes I try and spread her cheeks to

get a look, but then she quickly clenches.

I think she's kind of insecure about

what it looks like.

Ah,

don't you hate it when you drink too much,

you swallow too much at once, and it hurts

when it goes down?

I have to lift my shirt up because I've

got a little fan down here and it's

ventilating me.

It's quite nice.

Have I ever ate ass and found little shit

particles? No, never. That's gross.

My wife is very clean.

See ya, going to watch Ice Poseidon. Ice

Poseidon streaming? Oh my God, my hero!

He's not streaming, you liar.

Ice isn't streaming.

Oh.

Got me all excited for nothing.

Who here is gay?

That's weird. When I suck it, this bit

goes blue. Can you see?

Ice got unbanned on Twitch yesterday. Are

No, he should be on the airplane now. He

said he's flying out, going back home.

I'm just

enjoying life.

Would I recommend Tobita Shinchi? Yes,

definitely. If you ever come to Japan,

you have to go.

As a man, it's the most interesting place

I'll take you there myself. I'll be your

tour guide if you want a tour guide.

Hit me up. Maybe we can do a threesome.

What happens if I blow into the vape

instead of sucking?

Whoa, it's crackling.

Why does it crackle when I blow into it?

Do do do do do.

Do do do do.

Oh look, it's me.

I need to tell you something. I haven't

been completely honest about something

about me, and I want to tell you what that

is in today's video. So I get asked a lot

of questions, and one of the questions I

get asked often is, how do I get my skin

to look so clean and clear? How did I get

rid of my pimples? How did I get rid of my

acne? Nice clear skin.

I've tried using those anti-pimple spot

creams.

Why did Belle Delphine get banned on

Instagram? Because of the bathwater stuff?

Was that it?

What a shame.

Hopefully she made enough money off it.

She had 5 million followers, didn't she?

What happened to Mina? I don't know, I

haven't been watching.

I don't watch many people these days,

just myself.

Why don't I sell my bath water? I would if

someone wants to buy it.

I'd sell anything.

I'll sell my wife.

Am I happy? Uh, I feel quite happy today.

Not too bad.

She got banned for nudity, but I thought

you're allowed to be nude on Instagram.

I've seen loads of naked girls on

Instagram.

I wouldn't mind seeing her pornography,

that'd be quite hot.

Samsung S10 or iPhone X? S10 is

way better. You get a big wide-angle

camera. I mean, look at this wide angle,

so wide. Microphone is placed here, not on

the front, so the audio sounds good.

And Android is just kind of better in

general.

Wow, I'm gaining a lot of new subs right

now for some reason.

What happened to the love doll? Still in

my room back in England.

I haven't decided if I want to buy a new

one. I'm not that crazy about

getting one. I'd rather save the money,

really.

I feel like Gandalf. No, I feel like

Merry and Pippin after they've defeated

what's-his-face Saruman, and then they're

enjoying some salted pork and a smoke.

Should I make a video about my vaping

experience?

Maybe I will.

When am I making a gaming channel? I game

on Twitch if you want to see me stream

games. I'm thinking about

playing a horror game. I'd like to play a

scary horror game. One of my favorite

games I used to stream a couple years ago

was Alien: Isolation and Prey,

and it's really nice because it's all

scary and atmospheric, but I've got the

chat with me so I feel less alone. And if

I get stuck, the chat helps me out, and

sometimes I scream because I get scared.

It's funny. So I'm looking for a new

horror game that's kind of like Alien:

Isolation. Sci-fi would be nice, but it

doesn't have to be sci-fi. Maybe I'd get a

Resident Evil game.

Yeah, I should start linking my Twitch.

Just search for Twitch and then Daniel

HMR. If you search Daniel

H I M R and

Twitch,

it'll come up straight on top.

Oh, I've got some clips people clipped.

Defend myself. Absolute scum.

Get Resident Evil 7. Yeah, that sounds

like a good idea.

My wife looks so fed up.

There's a lot of good clips on Twitch.

I've got some clips from 2 years ago.

Sort by popular all

time. Wow, this is

a really old clip when I first got

married. And GTA 3.

Who else do I watch? I don't really watch

that much YouTube these days. I watched

the Co-Optional Podcast yesterday. It's

been a while since TotalBiscuit's shown

his face. Yeah, well, now he's dead, 2017

Daniel. Let me switch the lens quickly.

Okay, this is the close-up lens. I can

show you. That's what I used to look like

2 years ago on On the podcast.

Is it something to do with his cancer?

Maybe he looks really bad. Maybe he lost

all of his hair. I'm surprised

he's still alive. He's not alive anymore.

2 or 3 years. The fan's

blowing my vape in the wrong direction.

What other clips do I have? It's quite

interesting actually seeing these clips.

Oh, this is, this is a funny clip.

Ow! Fuck!

That was painful.

Fuck my

knee. That's when I hit my knee.

That was when I hit my knee on the table.

It's very painful.

It's hard to get on with this hoodie on.

That was a fun stream. I used

to stream on Twitch a lot.

Welcome, my friends. Nice of you to join

us today. Can you imagine them all tied up

in my basement, and then I have like a a

serrated blade? So you all think

that you could best me? Well, we'll see

who's who's the tough guy today.

I have no idea what I was saying.

Oh look, 6,000 subs celebration stream.

Warcraft, and we made a new guild on World

of Warcraft, and that was how it started

basically.

My phone's getting wet.

What was What's

this? The lens is getting wet.

Lens flare. And then after we moved over

to— I was talking about World of Warcraft.

My first donation. Whoa, look at my hair.

I said it in clear, plain English.

I love your videos and it has numbed my

boredom over the past few weeks, so thank

you. And I hope your marriage goes well.

Thank you, Louis Z.

I hope it goes well as well.