DansKitchen - Making Pizza

Pizza time! It's pizza

time with your mama.

Everyone loves a pizza.

Do you like pizza in

your face? Pizza time!

It's been a while since I made a pizza.

Last time I made one, I think it was last

year in the old apartment.

We have lots of ingredients: green pepper,

pizza cheese, naan bread,

bacon,

Um, pizza sauce, sausages,

and mushrooms. Should be quite

straightforward. Sorry, there's no deep

frying today. Today is pizza day.

Maybe next time I'll do some more deep

frying. Let me just arrange

it neatly so it looks nice. I'm starving.

It's 10 past 12.

Yesterday me and my wife went to USJ and

I vlogged it and I made a video. It's

going up tonight in about how many hours?

Maybe in 10 hours' time the new video will

go up.

And today I've just been trying to think

how I want to edit videos. I quite enjoy

editing on my iPad, but it's just such a

pain getting the videos from my Android

phone onto the iPad.

It's just really annoying that Android and

Apple won't make it easy to use an Android

and an Apple device. It's, it's so easy if

you have an iPhone and an iPad because you

just do AirDrop and then it transfers

videos over Bluetooth, which is really

quick. But you can't transfer— well,

there's, there's no easy way to transfer

from an Android phone to an iPad using

Bluetooth. You have to download some

crappy looking app that's full of ads.

And it's just not a very streamlined

experience. So the only way I have now is

I upload the videos onto Google Drive,

and then I have to download the videos off

of Google Drive onto my iPad to edit. Or I

could get a card reader that plugs into

the iPad and then use an SD card,

and I had one But it doesn't work anymore

because the developers stopped updating

the app for iOS, so it stops work— it

stops working now. So annoying.

So annoying when you have to get an app

that goes along with the device, with the

SD card reader, and then they stop

updating the app. So now I have to get a

new USB-C thing that plugs into the iPad.

To read the SD card.

Oh, why is it so noisy today?

It's so annoying when ambulances use

their siren when the road's empty. What's

the point of using a siren? The whole

point of a siren is to let people know

you're coming, to clear the traffic,

clear the way. But if there's no traffic,

why don't they just turn the siren off?

It's completely unnecessary.

What else did I want to say?

Oh, not much else. I guess we should start

making the pizza.

I'm trying to think if I want to buy a

GoPro again, because if I had the GoPro,

then I could use the GoPro app to transfer

files straight to the iPad. That's quite a

lot of money. I could just get a card

reader for $10.

Anyway, I'm going to make the pizza now.

So when you're making a pizza using naan

bread, this is how you do it.

First you open the naan bread packet.

They don't make it easy to open.

And then you get your naan bread, which

kind of looks like a baby's diaper,

doesn't it? And then

you get your naan bread. Now the first

stage is pizza sauce. Ouch! Fucking hell,

that really hurt.

Ow! The stupid plastic on the lid poked

underneath my fingernail. That was really

painful.

Idiots who designed this.

Why did they make the plastic so pointy?

Well, at least it's not bleeding.

So you get your pizza sauce and then

you have to open up this metal thing.

Be careful not to poke yourself

Now this isn't the same as ketchup, it's

special tomato puree for pizza.

And then you just put some tomato pizza

sauce like this. Looks like a period

pad now, doesn't it? It's not very

appetizing.

Get rid of any spills and

then just spread the pizza sauce around a

Might need a little bit more.

It's naan bread, but I've found that naan

bread works pretty well as a pizza base.

And next step, um, should I go for the

mushrooms? I'll go for the peppers.

Be careful when you're licking your knife,

it's very sharp.

And you want to slice your peppers Like

this. You can eat the end bit because it's

weirdly shaped.

Okay, next step,

take our mushrooms.

Might need to wash them. There's black

stuff on it.

We don't like black stuff on our

And then cut your mushrooms into slices.

Wait, do I put the cheese on top of the

tomato? Oh no, I forgot to put the cheese

on. I thought cheese goes on top,

or does it go underneath?

Um, I forgot how to make it.

Okay, take everything off. Take it.

We start again. We need to put the cheese.

Take everything off.

And then we put the cheese.

Stupid. Why do they make it so hard to

open? I don't understand.

Okay, here's the

cheese.

And then we put the toppings back on.

Here, everything will be okay.

And next we have bacon. I think

we have too many toppings. I don't need

the sausage.

You don't need a lot of bacon, just a

Bacon. Yeah,

it's not actually bacon, it's more like

ham. You can eat it raw like this. It's

not raw, it's been cooked. Watch.

Just tastes like ham, doesn't taste like

bacon. But for some reason,

Japanese people can't tell the difference

between bacon and ham. They think ham is

bacon.

I think that's it. I think it's ready.

Only took 15 minutes to make. Pretty good.

I'm not sure if one's enough. I might need

to make another one. Should I make another

one? Yeah, let's make another one. Why

not?

And then

cheese.

Cheese,

cheese, green pepper.

Hmm, looks— ouch— looks pretty good so

And how about we put sausage on this

one instead of bacon? Oh, she put elastic

bands on the bloody thing again. Why?

Don't need to put elastic bands on

everything. So we'll cut the

sausage into slices.

USJ was so boring yesterday.

Too hot, too many people, everything's so

expensive. I wanted to get pizza and I

nearly walked in, then my wife stopped me,

pointed at the menu, said ¥4,000

for one pizza. That's like $40. Just for

pizza. Do you know how much this cost me?

This cost me about maybe

¥700 for all of the ingredients, maybe

¥1,000, and you get all of this for

¥1,000.

I could make way more pizza if I had more

And then I got these turkey-flavored

crisps that actually taste like octopus,

and it cost me ¥1,300.

They were selling cups for ¥2,000. What a

Okay, let me put everything away and

then we'll move over to the oven cooking

area. Don't know what to do today.

Do do do do do.

Do do do do do.

Moving over to the cooking area now.

Be very careful not to drop it.

Oh.

I think

that's a good angle, good viewing

angle.

Do do do do do do.

Put the second one in gently.

Don't want to be too rough. And then we

wash, wash the table. Give me a second

whilst I wash the table.

Make sure it's plugged in this time.

Remember yesterday when I forgot to plug

in the oven?

Okay, so close the door

and then turn it on to about— how about

10 minutes? 10 minutes should be long

enough.

And whilst we're waiting— whilst we're—

why can't I say it? Whilst we are waiting,

I'll make a coffee. Coffee.

And then we can discuss the meaning of

life. My favorite subject. Oh, who

remembers this coffee cup? Grasmere Osaka.

When I, when I ran away from my wife to

that hotel.

It was a fun time at the hotel.

And then I stole their cup. That'll show

them for trying to overcharge me.

Mouse Cafe.

So my current plans are trying to decide

if I want to buy another GoPro.

So what I have to do is I have to compare

the GoPro to my S10 Plus. Cons and pros.

So the GoPro is obviously smaller, so it's

less awkward for me to use outside in

public because it's less obvious that I'm

filming. The Samsung

S10 is pretty big.

Also a good thing because the screen's

bigger so I can see what I'm filming

better. GoPro screen is about this big,

very small. Audio, I think the audio

sounds better on the GoPro,

and GoPro is a lot wider angle and it's a

lot more stable, but then it is £400.

The, the main benefit would be I can

transfer files from the GoPro straight to

my iPad pretty easily over Bluetooth.

Otherwise, I have to get a card reader for

my iPad, copy all the files from my phone

onto the SD card, and then paste them onto

the iPad, which is 2 steps. GoPro is just

1 step.

I like reducing the steps when it comes to

my workflow. Less steps means you can

focus more on work and being productive

instead of wasting time copying and

pasting things here and there.

I am tempted to get another GoPro. I could

get the chest strap as well. The main

problem with the GoPro is the battery is

really bad, runs out really quickly.

Also, it's a bit unresponsive. You press

the shutter button to start filming, it

takes about 10 seconds to start up.

I am tempted, but it's £400. I don't know

if I want to spend £400 when I could just

spend about £5 and get a cheap card

reader.

I'll think about it a bit more.

It's so hot today, I've got all the

windows open and it's not making any

difference because there's no wind. I just

noticed that the word window has the word

wind in it. Coincidence?

There's no air flowing in.

I have the windows wide open.

Do you think I can roast potatoes in this

oven? It's an oven toaster and it

can make toast, rice cakes, butter rolls,

fried food, and pizza.

I'm not sure if it's strong enough to cook

roast potatoes.

I don't think it's powerful enough. Look

at that heating element, so weak.

Oh, do you want to see my Jurassic Park

crisps?

Look, turkey leg fried snacks.

The annoying thing about filming, trying

to make a vlog in USJ, was There was so

much copyright music, you know, the

Jurassic Park theme tune was playing in

the Jurassic Park area, the Harry Potter

theme tune was playing in the Harry Potter

area. It was really difficult filming

when the music wasn't playing,

and I had to keep editing out bits where

the music was playing. I lost a lot of

good footage because of that, and I had to

put piano music over the music.

To, um, hopefully stop the copyright

claims claiming it. I don't know if that

would work. It worked last time because

it's automatically trying to detect

copyright music. If I just put piano music

over it, then it should confuse the AI. I

don't think Warner Brothers would let me

use the Harry Potter theme tune. In my

video. Oh, it was kind of annoying. And

then they kept playing, you know, the

America Town bit. They kept playing, uh,

what's his face, Justin Timberlake

and Queen and Michael Jackson songs,

and I couldn't film because of it.

So annoying.

Very difficult to film when there's,

there's music playing in the background.

Oh no, I did it again! Keep pouring too

much water into my coffee. I keep

forgetting that you're only supposed to

pour half a cup.

It's not burning, what are you talking

about? It's going golden brown.

I got XCOM 2 on my laptop. I played the

first mission. It's exactly like XCOM 1,

but it looks better. I don't see any

differences. The only main difference so

far is your main base is in an alien ship,

but it's fundamentally the same. You

research stuff, you buy stuff. Get

satellites. I don't

know if I want to keep it.

It's okay, I guess.

It's just like a pretty— prettier looking

XCOM.

Oh, and I've got good news about Darkest

Dungeon. I got my save file back. I just

had to go into settings and then re-enable

iCloud saving, and then it downloaded my

save file. So that's good. I'm on week

121. I'm trying

to defeat the Necromancer boss, but he's

really difficult because he keeps

summoning these zombies that have stealth,

and I can't target them unless I have AOE.

He killed my main tank guy. Lost him. My

man-at-arms.

Oh, and USJ was full of I don't

know what they are. They're not Japanese

people. They were like Asian tourists,

probably Chinese. Yeah, I think most of

them were Chinese or Taiwanese.

Hardly any white people. Kind of

interesting. I don't think white people go

to USJ when they come to visit Japan

because white people, when they come to

Japan, they want to experience Japanese-y

things, don't they? Why would you come all

the way to Japan to experience Western

things in a Western amusement park? I

guess that's why there's not many white

people. I think most of the white people,

they go to Kyoto or Nara,

you know, the traditional Japanese places.

Oh look, my pizza's ready! Doesn't it look

beautiful?

Wow, it's so pretty! Okay, let's move

it over to the table,

let it cool down a bit.

There were so many cute girls there.

Makes me feel kind of depressed.

It's just amazing how cute some girls are.

Not all of them are cute, I'd say Maybe

20, 15% of the girls I saw were cute.

Most of them were pretty ugly,

but the cute ones, wow, they were cute.

Perfect lips, noses, really sexually

appealing clothing. You should have seen

the skirt some of them were wearing. And

there were these 2 Japanese girls on the

train I was sitting down and they were

standing in front of me and they were

wearing these fairly short skirts above

the knee. And I was holding my phone. I

swear I wasn't doing this on purpose, but

I was just holding my phone in between my

legs because I was listening to music like

this. And they, they weren't there at

first. I was holding my phone like this

before they came. And then they walked in

front of me and then I noticed I could see

up their skirts. Off of the reflection of

my phone. It was great,

and they didn't seem to notice. They stood

right in front of me. I couldn't see their

panties, but I could see like their inner

thighs. It's not my fault,

okay? They, they stood in front of me.

They chose to stand in front of me. If

they don't want men looking at their legs,

they shouldn't be wearing such short

skirts. That was a bit of a tongue

twister. They were so hot though.

The legs, the skin was so pale and smooth

It's just weird, isn't it? You think about

it logically, it's just skin and flesh and

bone and muscle. Why is it so nice

to look at? Why is it so intriguing?

It's just skin, flesh, and bone,

but it's so sexy.

I wish I was a young, hot, sexy Japanese

girl. I'd love all that attention, all the

guys perving at me.

I tried not to continuously stare at their

kneecaps, but they were just such

nice-looking kneecaps.

I like it when the skin on the kneecaps is

slightly darker than the rest of the legs.

I don't know why, but I like the dark

patches of skin that are just below the

kneecaps. I find it very sexy.

And I like the elbows. You know, the elbow

skin, it's a bit darker compared to the

rest of the skin. I find that sexy. I want

to pinch it and squeeze it, roll it

between my fingertips.

Oh, do you want to see my Tyrannosaurus

Rex turkey fried snack? It says turkey

flavor on it, but it doesn't taste

anything like turkey. It tastes like

squid. Look, it looks like this.

It tastes good. It tastes like fishy

squid.

It's what I would imagine.

Um, you know when they do female genital

mutilation? I'd imagine they cut that bit

off and then they fry it.

That's what I imagine it would taste like.

Pretty good. So expensive, cost $13,

and they only give you about 7 or 8

of these tiny packs.

This is the starter. We'll get on to the

main course in a minute. We're just

waiting for them to cool down a bit.

I don't want to burn my tongue.

Pretty tasty.

They had lots of Jurassic Park,

Jurassic Park merchandise at the Jurassic

Park souvenir shop. You know the,

the Jurassic Park logo, the yellow one

where it's like a rectangle with a

semicircle and then the T-Rex heads in the

middle. That logo makes me very nostalgic

because when I was in primary school, my

mum got me a Jurassic Park lunchbox and a

Jurassic Park juice flask, and it had that

logo on. It was a black plastic lunchbox,

black, and it had the Jurassic Park logo

on it. I used to love dinosaurs and

Jurassic Park when I was a kid. Ricky and

Natasha's dad took me, Ricky, and Natasha

to see Jurassic Park: Lost World, but they

wouldn't let my, my sister come. They said

she was too young to see it. My sister was

really upset, she was crying.

I think I was around 10.

We went to see Jurassic Park at Odeon in

Maidstone, and then Ricky and Natasha's

dad took us to Wimpy's. I think it's

Wimpy's burger chain. And I was playing

around with the knives and forks. I was

wrapping the knife in a tissue and I was

pretending it was like a cape. I was

pretending the knife was like a king. And

then Ricky's dad told me off. He said,

Daniel, stop playing with the cutlery.

I was so shocked because my parents never

told me off. Isn't it funny? I remember a

couple of my other friends' parents told

me off. I remember Jay's mum,

she asked me what I would like. She— no,

she asked me if I wanted to have dinner,

and I said yes. And she said, yes please,

didn't your parents teach you any manners?

I said no, my mum never made me say

please. I was so shocked

that They told me off.

My parents never told me off like that.

And then after that, I was a bit scared of

Ricky's dad.

I still fancied his sister though. We

rolled around half naked once,

and I have that memory for the rest of my

life, and there's nothing they can do to

take it away from me.

Precious memories.

Jurassic Park:

Lost World, I think, is the best Jurassic

Park movie. I love the bit when InGen

arrive on the island and then they're in

the army jeeps and the Chasing

down all the herds of dinosaurs and

capturing them. That was so cool. I

remember seeing that as a kid and I was

just blown away.

And then I loved the bit when that

annoying guy with the electric taser,

he falls down the cliff and then he gets

chased by all those little dinosaurs and

then he trips over a log. And then they

all jump on him and you can just hear him

screaming, and then the blood starts

flowing down the river. I love that scene

so much. There was a Jurassic Park game on

the Sega Mega Drive that I used to have,

and the same little dinosaurs were

in it, and they jumped on you, and if

enough jumped on you, then they would

start eating you and then you'd die. And I

used to recreate that scene on Jurassic

Park. I used to let them all jump on me,

and then I'd roll around in a bush, and

then let my character die pretending to be

the guy. What was his name? I can't

remember his name. I think the actor is

Swedish.

That was my favorite scene. And I love the

scene when they all run into the tall

grass, and that guy, nerdy guy with the

glasses. Is yelling, don't run into the

tall grass! And they all run into it and

they all get eaten by raptors.

And my other, other favorite scene was

when they run into the waterfall cave and

then that guy with the beard has the snake

going into his shirt and he panics and he

steps forwards and then the T-Rex eats him

and there's this crunch sound, and then

you see the blood coming down the

waterfall. They edited that bit out on the

TV version.

Such a great movie. I don't know how the

first, first few movies of

trilogies are really good and then they

somehow managed to ruin them. Jurassic

World, terrible movie. Chris Pratt is

rubbish. I hate Chris Pratt. He's a

terrible actor. He's such a boring, bland

actor. Yeah, he's good-looking and he's

hunky and he's, you know, he's average at

acting, but there's nothing special about

him. He's just so generic, so bland, no

personality.

The '90s had the best actors.

Jeff Goldblum, he's one of the best

actors. And that Sam Neill guy is

pretty good.

Wow, it looks pretty good. Look at my

pizza. It looks like a proper pizza.

Proper pizza.

What do you think?

Look,

look at that pizza.

Do a close-up. Close-up of the pizza.

Very nice,

very, very nice.

It looks like a bike seat. Yeah, it does.

It looks like a bike seat. It really does.

Should I sit on it? Let the tomato and

melted cheese seep into my anus.

Tomato and cheese.

First,

we'll test out the crispiness of the

crust. That sounds pretty crispy.

Oops, dropped it.

Going for a close-up. Look at that,

that's a nice looking pizza.

Mm, oh, you can

taste the peppers and the mushrooms

straight away.

Oh. Wow, that's very nice.

Pretty good.

I think it's way better than those pizzas

you can buy at the supermarket. Way

better.

Is the bottom burnt? No, it's not.

It's so hot. Oh, I'm sweating.

Might have to get naked.

Am I enjoying Japan? It's okay, I guess.

It was a bit weird to be back at first,

but it doesn't feel weird anymore. It just

feels normal again.

I'll save the other pizza for later.

Feeling quite full now.

I'm bored.

Oh.

Huh,

don't know what to do.

I don't know what to do.

Go outside? I went outside yesterday. It

was horrible. It was so hot.

My body was aching. I felt so tired.

Go swimming. I feel

embarrassed about my body. I went— last

time I went swimming, uh, well, it was in

Malaysia. I guess I wasn't too bothered

about getting naked.

I just feel kind of embarrassed about my

body, so skinny.

And I feel so lazy to do exercise. I tried

doing push-ups 2 days ago. I did 15.

Then I had to stop.

I don't like swimming pools because they

smell like chlorine, and then, and then

there's going to be loads of cute young

girls wearing bikinis and I might get an

erection. I thought it'd be great

living in a place where there's loads of

cute girls, but it just makes me feel more

depressed because I

don't have the confidence to talk to them.

And even if I did, I wouldn't be allowed

to because I'm married. I'd never be able

to have sex with them.

So it just makes me feel depressed seeing

them. I keep thinking, ah,

I'll never have one.

Why do they have to be so cute?

Life would be so much easier if everyone's

just ugly. What if everyone was cute? Why

can't everyone be cute or everyone be

ugly?

Maybe I could go to a class or something,

like a learn Korean class, learn Chinese.

Maybe there'd be some cute Japanese girls

there that I could be friends with.

Platonic,

non-sexual.

I could go to a cooking class, but then it

would just be full of old Japanese

grannies, wouldn't it?

There's nothing I want to learn.

I feel like I know enough. I know

everything that I want to know. There's

nothing that I don't know that I want to

You know, people say, oh, there's so many

things that you can learn in the world,

how can you be bored? It's because I don't

care about any of those things.

When I was younger, there were so many

things I wanted to learn. I wanted to

learn Korean. I wanted to learn Japanese.

I wanted to learn coding. I wanted to

learn how to do digital painting.

I wanted to be able to live in Japan.

I feel like I've already achieved all of

my goals. I'm living in Japan. I can speak

Japanese. I'm okay at drawing.

I know how to do everything I wanted to

know how to do.

Okay, that's kind of a lie.

There's one thing I really want to know

how to do,

but I find it too scary. I can't tell you

what it is, I'll get in trouble.

I won't say what it is,

and I just know when I get old I'm going

to be kicking myself for never trying it.

I just know it. When I'm like 70, I'm

gonna be thinking, oh, why didn't I try at

least once when I was 20-something or 30?

My life could have been so much more fun

if I just had the guts.

Sometimes I wish I was a girl because then

I don't have to worry about this.

Must be so nice being a girl. I don't

know, who here is a fairly cute girl?

Do you get a lot of guys approaching you

when you just go outside in public? Do you

find it annoying or do you like it?

Most girls hate it.

Hmm.

I guess it depends who's— what kind, what

kind of guy is doing it. If it's like a

hot guy, then the girl might like

it. But if it's like a fat ugly guy trying

to pick you up, it would just be annoying.

But then at least he has the guts. You

have to give him that.

Nearly finished.