why i want to break up with my girlfriend

Testing.

Testing. Testing.

Hello.

Testing. Hello.

Testing, testing.

Okay, I think it's working. Hello.

Okay, I think it's working.

Hello.

Hello. Sounds funny.

Okay, finally finished all my work today.

Let's play Resident Evil.

I think I'm in a good mood to play it.

You gotta be in a good mood to play

Resident Evil, otherwise it's gonna bum

you out.

Ow! I think my headphones shocked me.

I can't hear anything. Ah, I can hear the

rain.

Whoa, spooky rain.

I think it won't be very scary if I play

in windowed mode. Instead of full screen,

I'm gonna play in window mode. That way

it's going to be less immersive and less

scary. I think the reason why I was able

to play Resident Evil 0 without being

scared, because the Switch screen is so

Okay, let me put a YouTube post Wow.

So many streamers in Japan right now.

Ginny is in Osaka. Jake and Bake is in

Tokyo. Rob ZD's out again.

Is that all Rob ZD does? Ride round and

round on his bloody bicycle.

Jenny's all over the place, everywhere.

First she's in Taiwan, then she's in

Thailand, then she's in Japan. Why didn't

she just go home,

settle down, have a family like she's

supposed to? How old is she, like 28?

Getting old.

Uh, going live on Twitch now.

Do you think the game sound is okay? It's

just rain right now. I spent

all morning making YouTube videos. I made

5 videos, 2 for the second channel, 3 for

the main channel. I'm knackered.

It really drains you making videos back

on back.

So I think I'll do— what time is it?

I can do 4 to 5 hours. Girlfriend's coming

home. At 6 today.

It's funny because when my girlfriend

first said to me that she was going to

start doing night shifts, I was upset

about it. I was like, no, don't do night

shifts because we're going to have sex.

But then she said, it's not going to be

during the night, it's going to be late

evening. And I felt kind of sad about it.

Thought, oh, I'm not even gonna see you

much. You're gonna come home and then

we'll just go sleep. And now I'm actually

thinking it's kind of nice that she comes

back at 10 PM sometimes. I get to do these

ultra-long livestreams.

Like yesterday, I did 12 hours on YouTube.

Wouldn't be possible if she didn't have

that evening job.

I think a relationship is better when you

spend 75% of the time not together,

and then you just come together in the

evening, and then you got the weekends

together as well. But really, for a

healthy, balanced relationship, if you're

spending more than 50% of the time

together, I don't think that's healthy.

You're going to get on each other's

nerves. You need time alone. To, to do

what you want to do in life.

I cannot imagine having a girlfriend who

lives— I mean, who stays at home all day

long. It'd drive me crazy. We'd have to

have a massive house, maybe, or maybe an

office where I run away to.

But then she'll get upset. She'll be like,

why don't you want to spend time with me?

Some girls think that the guy should want

to spend every single minute of the day

with her, or else he doesn't really love

her. Let me put

my finger lotion on because I did some

cooking, made ramen, did the dishes.

Dries out my skin again. It's annoying

having to have lotion on all the time. So

everything I touch is all greasy.

Why does it have to be on the palm of my

hands? I need to grip stuff.

If it was on the outside of my hands, I

wouldn't care so much.

Now I'm gonna have to take a little bottle

of hand cream everywhere I go because it's

unbearable. I didn't used to put cream on,

and I was just thinking, oh, there's no

point putting cream on because it doesn't

really solve the problem. My skin's still

going to be dry.

But now it gets so dry and itchy,

I can't live without my hand lotion.

Ah, it's nice. It's so relieving.

It seems a little bit better today. Still

pretty bad. I was scratching it again last

night. My little finger became really

itchy. Couldn't stop scratching it.

When you start scratching it, it's so hard

to stop scratching.

Where have you been putting your finger?

Up my bum.

Well, I don't know, up someone's bum.

I don't think that's the reason why.

Maybe it's the water here. The water here

is very abrasive. And it tastes

disgusting. I wonder if my skin is having

like a reaction, allergic reaction to the

shower or the tap water. It can't

be because the rest of my body is fine.

So I made 3 videos for the main channel.

I got How to Cheat on Your Girlfriend and

Get Away with It, Why I Regret Lying to My

Girlfriend About Everything, And then why

I will never become a father. That is the

video lineup for— I might upload

one tonight actually, and then another one

Saturday night, then another one.

Hmm, I'll be back streaming on Tuesday.

What should I do for Tuesday? I could

upload the 3rd one on Tuesday. Combine it

with a stream.

Yesterday's stream did really well.

Surprisingly, I got quite a few donations.

I think the trick to getting donations is

just stream as long as possible, because

if you're not streaming, people who want

to donate, they won't be able to donate.

You gotta wait for the donators to click

on the stream, so it means I need to be

online For as long as possible. If I only

did a 2-hour stream, I don't think I even

got any donations in the first 2 hours.

It wasn't until like 10 hours later or 8

hours later. But yeah, I'm really pleased

with that YouTube stream. I got up to 180

viewers and it dropped down to like

100-ish. It was weird because it kept

dropping down to like 70 or 80 and then

spiking back up to 120. I don't

understand. It dropped down to like 85

about 7 times, then bounced straight

back up. It's like a stock. It's like

watching a stock line drop down and

suddenly bounce back up.

It's weird. 20 or 30 people suddenly

click off, then click back on. Maybe it's

like a bot, someone trying to mess with

It says, uh, transaction value $20.

So I got $20 in donations. I swear

I got more. It was like a $10 one, a

couple $5. Some $2 ones.

I guess YouTube takes like 40%,

otherwise it would have been maybe 30%.

So unfair, they take 40% of my dono.

So imagine you want to donate to charity

and then the government takes half of it.

Are we looking out your window?

No. Yeah, this is the streets of Bangkok.

No, it's Raccoon City.

Raccoon.

And then I made 2 videos for the second

channel. I'm interested in this AYANEO 2.

Have you guys heard of it? It's like this

Chinese-made Steam Deck thing, but it's

supposed to be 3 times more powerful than

the Steam Deck, but it's like $1,000

and it comes from China,

but there's supposed to be trustworthy.

People say that they're trustworthy. A

bit— feel a bit nervous buying such an

expensive thing from a Chinese company

online as well. They're not known for

making good reliable stuff,

but it looks pretty cool. It has like a

Ryzen AMD 6800.

And it's supposed to be really powerful,

and it's got a way better design than a

Steam Deck. Steam Deck is too wide and too

long, like a plank of wood. It's got too

many things on it, like a trackpad and the

back paddles that I don't really care

about. The AYANEO has a more compact

design, but it's got a better looking

screen because it doesn't have any bezels.

I'm just wondering, what if I ditch the

laptop use one of those powerful handhelds

as my main gaming and computer device.

And then if I ever get myself into an

apartment where I've got desks and stuff,

I could just get like a portable monitor,

little keyboard. The brand is called

AYANEO on Indiegogo.

But then if you've got a little keyboard,

a mouse, portable monitor, little handheld

console. All that stuff together is

basically going to be the same size as a

laptop at that point. You're not really

saving any space. I saw this video, this

guy was showing off this portable 15-inch

monitor. No, it's A-Y-A-N-E-O.

So this guy was showing off his portable

monitor for his Steam Deck, 15-inch

monitor with a kickstand. And he was like,

when I go traveling, I put this 15-inch

monitor into my backpack and I put in my

Steam Deck and I put in my little keyboard

and my mouse. And at that point, it's,

it's no less smaller than an actual

laptop. You just got all the bits

separate. Laptop has it all built into one

thing.

You can't really make a portable version.

What you'd need is like a little— what

are they called— projector coming out the

top of the Steam Deck that can shoot out

the display onto a surface. That way you

won't need an actual monitor,

or maybe just use a TV. I don't know,

trying to find a way to reduce my backpack

Wait, I can't think of a good way.

I feel like I use everything and I need

everything apart from the LiveU Solo.

Did I miss the girlfriend stuff? Yeah, we

just finished making love. She's gone now.

You missed the audio version.

Now I'm gonna kill some zombies.

How come PewDiePie never played Resident

Evil? I think it's lame

PewDiePie stopped playing video games.

There's been so many— there's been so many

good games that came out recently. I mean,

he did play Elden Ring. But he doesn't

play games like he used to. A new game

used to come out and he would play it and

do like a let's play series. He missed a

lot. Does he really not play games

anymore? What does he do? Just work out,

read about philosophy, paint his

little Gundam things?

Laptop is the most portable version of

what it is. Yeah, I guess you can't really

beat a good laptop. I'm just picturing

myself living in a capsule hotel. I'm not

really going to be using my laptop in a

capsule hotel. I'd use a handheld.

And then for streaming, I would go out and

do IRL. I want to do trying to live in a

capsule hotel for a month challenge in

Japan. I want to do try and live in a

guest house challenge for a month and then

see what the pros and cons are. My

girlfriend's Messy me. We go to Vietnam.

Do you think I should get international

driving license?

I guess I could get an international

driving license. I could drive in Vietnam.

Can UK citizen drive in Vietnam?

You must have valid driving license or

international driving permit. Where do I

get driving permit.

Hmm, do you think

it's a good idea?

Then we have to rent a car.

Yeah, we're gonna have to rent a car if

she gets an international license. Or are

we gonna drive the car? We have to drive

through Cambodia.

I don't really want to drive in Vietnam.

The roads in Vietnam are crazier than

Thailand. I remember swarms of motorbikes

when you're trying to cross the road and

you're supposed to step into the road and

not stop. If you stop in the middle of the

road, it's dangerous. You'll keep walking

and pretend there's nothing coming, and

then they'll just drive around you.

But if you stop dead in your tracks, the

motorbike thinks you're going to keep

moving, so it's going to stay in the same

trajectory, and then it's going to realize

too late, oh crap, they're not moving,

and then they hit you.

She really wants to rent a car just for a

week. We could rent like a nice car though

if it's just a week. Maybe we can rent a

Tesla. Get like a nice hybrid

semi-electric car. Don't like our

cars. It's okay, I mean it gets from A to

B, it's got aircon, it's fine.

I guess it's comfy enough, but it's just

kind of plain. It's not very exciting.

Maybe it's cheaper we get a taxi

to move about.

Don't get a motorbike with a girl. I don't

feel confident of about riding a motorbike

with someone behind me. I tried riding a

bicycle with Mila behind me. We nearly

fell off— fell over. It's so difficult.

Once you get going, you've got momentum

and speed, then it's not too bad.

But pushing off and pedaling off with

another person sitting behind, my legs are

not powerful enough. I could barely keep

the bike up.

And then Mila ended up riding the bike

with me on the back. We came home, her dad

was there, he laughed at us. He was like,

isn't the man supposed to ride the bike?

Okay, so the game— have

a look at the modes. You got Ghost

Survivors. Wow,

that is sexy. I wasn't expecting sexiness.

It's not like I'm playing Cyberpunk.

Sexy lady.

Ghost Survivor. Who is that?

Maybe that's the gun guy. You know, in

Resident Evil 2, the PlayStation game,

you go into that gun shop and then he

locks the door, and then suddenly he goes

by the window and all these zombies burst

in and grab him. And you could stay and

kill the zombies whilst they're eating him

and then take his shotgun, or you could

just run out. Maybe that's the gun shop.

That'd be interesting.

Forgotten Soldier.

I put my settings to I

turned ray tracing on. I don't know if

it's gonna affect my performance badly.

I don't know if it actually matters, but

I've got most of it on medium to high.

It seems quite smooth.

Story mode. Oh, I can continue.

Yeah, cuz I did play this game back in

2019. I don't know if any of you guys

remember when I was still married. I did

try to play this game. I didn't get very

far. Am I sure I can handle this game?

I'm not sure. Last time I played it 3

years ago, I chickened out. I got to the

police station where you crawl under that

shutter, and then I got stressed out and I

turned it off. Went back to Rainbow Six.

It seems like it saved my save from then.

Oh yeah, look, 2019 in

August. That was a month after I went back

to Japan after my dad died.

That's funny. Oh, I played on hardcore

mode. No wonder I got stressed out. On

hardcore mode, you can't kill the zombies.

You can keep shooting and shooting,

they'll fall down and then stay down for

like 20 seconds,

but it'll take like 25 bullets to take

them down. You end up wasting all your

ammo to kill one. You're supposed to run

around them, I think.

How's she not scared to drive in Vietnam?

I'd be scared driving in a different

country. Everything just seems so

different.

Should I start a new game or continue? I

don't want to play hardcore, it's just

gonna piss me off. The new game— oh, we

can play as Claire as well. A different

nightmare awaits Claire Redfield, who is

unaware of just how drastically her

ordinary life is about to change.

Bold and Bankrupt is in Vietnam,

really? What's he doing there? Maybe

you'll encounter them. I don't think so.

Leon Kennedy. After a few days of radio

silence from his new post, Leon Kennedy

drives to Raccoon City to scope things

out. Unbeknownst to him, a nightmare

awaits.

Assisted— you get aim assist, recover

health automatically, enemies are weaker.

Standard, hardcore. Saving requires ink.

That was so irritating. I remember that in

the original games you needed an ink

ribbon to save.

Hmm, I could do assisted and just blow

through the game. I'm not really that

interested in being challenged. I just

want a cool story.

Search the police station.

Hmm, standard. I don't want it to be too

What do you recommend?

Why does my girlfriend always message me

when I'm streaming?

Should I say we can ride motorbike?

Maybe more

scary. We don't need to drive if we're

just going for a week. We can just stay in

the city center, and then if we're going

to go to places outside of the city, we

can take a taxi.

What side of the road they drive? Isn't it

on the right?

What side of road drive Vietnam?

Right-hand side, ostensibly. I hate

that word. It's such an irritating word.

I didn't know what it meant at first.

Doesn't it just mean Mostly.

Ostensibly, they drive on the right-hand

side of the road. Can you imagine someone

actually using the word ostensibly in real

life?

Ostensibly, meaning it

appears or is stated to be true,

or just apparently. Why don't you say

apparently they drive Vietnamese drive

on the right side of the road. Okay,

she said she doesn't want to die in

Vietnam. They drive right-hand

side in Vietnam,

so steering wheel is on left

side of the car.

That'd be so weird. Imagine you drive your

whole life on the left side the road and

you sit on the right side of the car, but

then you gotta flip over.

Isn't it really weird?

I can't imagine having a steering wheel on

the left seat instead of the right seat.

We're gonna go to Ho Chi Minh, I think,

or maybe Hanoi. I haven't really decided

yet. My mum said, go and say hi to your

uncle. I don't think so. Although my

Vietnam uncle is, is one of the

friendliest and warmest uncles. All my

uncles are nice. It's just some of them

are a little bit serious and then the

others are more bubbly and jovial.

The one in Vietnam is nice. He was

known as the rich one. He would always

come visit us over Christmas and then

bring expensive gifts. Like one time when

me and my sister were like 10 or 12, he

brought a digital camera. And at the time,

digital cameras were really fancy. That

was still in the time when most people

used the film camera. I remember going on

trips with my family. My mum would be

taking pictures with a film camera. You

had to like wind up the thing And then you

could only take about 30 pictures.

And then afterwards you send the film off

to get developed and they send it back to

you in an envelope. Jesus. Does anyone

remember those days? I can't believe now

you can just take a snapshot on your phone

and it's like professional quality almost.

And then he brought us— he bought me and

my sister this really fancy digital

camera, Samsung Compact. And it seemed

revolutionary at the time. Had an LCD

screen, take as many— well, you could put

an SD card into it so you could take a

couple hundred pictures. And me and my

sister would fight over who the camera

belonged to. So I said, I will let you

keep Toffee and he will be your cat if you

let me keep the camera. So she said yes.

And then I gained ownership over the

camera and then she regretted it and she

was like, it's not fair. Being able to own

Toffee doesn't change anything.

Yeah, because it doesn't matter who owns

the cat. He's still just a cat walking up

and down and sleeping and eating. And then

I wouldn't let her use the camera and then

she would go, Dad, Daniel's not letting me

use the camera. And then

my dad would tell me off and then I'd get

annoyed and I'd be like, it's my camera.

Oh, oh no, that, that was something else.

Wait, there was something else. My uncle—

oh yeah, I'm telling the story wrong. I

remember now. So my uncle bought

us— he bought me the camera and he bought

my sister this little digital watch thing.

It was like a It had like a stopwatch

and a timer and it had like a digital

clock and you could attach it

to like a keyring. He got that for my

sister and he got me this really fancy

digital camera and then my sister was

upset because I got the really cool

present. She got like a crappy watch and

then she wanted to also use the camera.

So I think I said, It's my camera, I want

it. You can keep Toffee and then

I'll keep the camera. And then she agreed

to it. Scammed her.

She was upset. She thought it was unfair

that I got the really cool expensive gift.

Fun times.

Your uncle is a misogynist. Yeah, maybe he

thinks boys deserve the cool stuff. Women

don't know how to be— women aren't to be

trusted with such expensive technology.

Just give her a little stopwatch.

I think I'm gonna go full standard.

Raccoon City, an industrial city in the

heart of America, and the one Leon Kennedy

was assigned to protect and serve. I

didn't finish reading it, stupid game.

Just trying to read the history.

Oh, it's a burger. Why can't I turn

the sound up? Why is my computer

I remember now, people were doing this

glitch thing, this meme.

They would set facial expression—

expressions to 1000%. That's all

I can think about now. I remember this,

the guy was having this massive grin,

facial expressions set to 500%.

I don't know why my computer's not

responding. It's streaming, isn't it?

Can you hear me?

I'm pressing the Windows+Tab and it's not

minimizing the game.

Maybe because it's in a cutscene. It's

like my worst nightmare. I get these

nightmares where I'm stuck in Resident

Evil and I'm in the game, I'm in this

place, and I'm trying to press Escape and

quit game, but I can't because I'm in the

game. There's no such thing as an Escape

button. There's no such thing as a pause

button.

Run away, maybe?

You press the Windows button. Yeah, to

minimize the game, I press Windows or

Windows+Tab.

The petrol station.

Uh, why does he have all moles and warts

on his neck? He's got a double bum chin as

well. I wonder what the price of gas is in

Oh yeah,

you go into the petrol station and there's

Resident Evil 2 is on Switch, but it's

like a cloud game. So it's really laggy

and the graphics suck.

Let's see if I can minimize.

I can't get out of the game.

Oh, you press Alt+Tab, not Windows+Tab.

Why did I think it was Windows+Tab?

Oh, it feels pretty smooth, and I got ray

tracing on. I don't know what difference

ray tracing makes. But it supposedly

makes it so there's reflections. I got

Resident Evil 3 as well, which I think is

more action than horror.

Uh, my hand's all greasy from the lotion

when I touch the mouse. My mouse is

getting all covered in sticky grease.

I'll check the price of gas.

Wow, inflation really hit Raccoon City.

What's happening? Why is he crying? It's

just a bit of rain, Leon. Stop moaning.

We've got regular $1.06.

Is that cheap? What is the price of gas

right now in the US?

I guess Resident Evil is set in the '90s,

isn't it? The original Resident Evil came

out in 1999 or 1998.

Something. So I wonder if this actually

reflects the prices from the '90s. That'd

be cool attention to detail. The price of

gas— is this per gallon or per liter?

So I think Americans do it in gallons. In

the UK, we, we measure it per

liter.

Cost of gas. In America in

1990? $1.15.

Huh. What about now?

Holy— $3.53 per gallon.

Price of gas has tripled in the last 20

years.

$5 per gallon in California. Whoa.

I saw Coach Red Pill saying that he

wouldn't be surprised if a gallon of

petrol will go up to $10 per gallon.

Diesel in Thailand,

it's like 34 baht per liter.

What about Thailand?

$1.12 per liter. How many liters

How many liters in gallon?

I'm getting excited. I always get such bad

tingles. Oh, it's $3— no,

3.7 liters per gallon. So if

it's like a dollar per liter,

it's like $3, nearly $4.

Means it's more expensive than America.

That can't be right.

But in the UK, it's like £1 It was nearly

£1.80 per litre, so it'd be nearly £5,

like $6 or $7.

Can I just walk away? I like the way

the rain drips off his coat,

makes his hair all wet.

Well, I guess we have to go into this

stupid petrol station. How do you sprint?

Oh, Shift. Can I change the controls? I

hate Shift to sprint.

Keybindings.

Sprint, E, quick turn,

change weapon.

Yes, fine. I didn't

apply settings. Key binding,

run, E. How do I apply space?

What? Oh, it won't let me

because switch ammo is on E. Switch ammo

can be changed to X.

There you go. Having E on

sprint is so nice. Pressing your little

finger on this, on the Shift button, is

the worst feeling ever. I hate it.

Run type toggle or hold,

maybe toggle.

Camera. Imagine this was first person. I

like the way they changed the camera from—

it used to be like an overhead fixed

camera. Oh yeah, I remember that. It was

so hard to control the old Resident Evil

games. So you get a fixed camera and then

you had to move the character, press

forwards to make him move forwards.

It felt very strange.

I wonder if I type in AXWW226 into Google,

would it show up as

Resident Evil? What was it?

AXWW.

That's the same little image of the car

shows up, but it's a different car.

Wait, this is a sheriff's police car

outside Ms. Oil. Is that what I'm looking

at? Oh yeah, it is the sheriff's police

car. You can

just imagine what happened here. Someone

got attacked in there, they called 999 or

911, the police show up, investigate,

and he's pretty dead in there.

This car looks so basic inside.

Automatic gearbox, there's no, there's no

gear stick. It's got a handbrake. I want

to be able to zoom in. Maybe there's

weapons in the back. There's She-Riff.

Resident Evil stuff shows up if you search

that license plate.

Let's see

what other detail there is. When life has

you seeing red, enjoy the wild

taste of Dingo Red cigarettes, now on

sale. Cortez Painting

Company, celebrating 100 years of

service. What happens

if you phone that number?

Can I just go home? Welcome to Raccoon

City, home of Umbrella. If you look for

the Wuhan Virology Laboratory in

China, It will come up with a logo that

looks just like that, but it's— I think

it's a different color. Let me find it

quickly.

Wuhan Virology Lab logo.

It is! Look,

the Shang— oh no, it's Shanghai, not

Wuhan. Shanghai Biotech Limited.

It's got the exact same emblem, but

instead of red, it's like a turquoise

color. How the hell? It's literally

exactly the same.

It's got 4— 8 segments.

That's so weird.

And also, you know, raccoon is an

anagram of corona.

C-O-R-O-N-A.

Okay, there's one extra C, but still,

it's pretty damn close. Don't you think

it's a little bit too uncanny? Bit spooky.

Maybe Umbrella was based off of an actual

thing that exists.

Okay, so I can do a quick turn like

that and I can sprint.

Let's see.

Reminds me when I worked at a petrol

How do I get my gun out?

Oh, I'm getting shivers now. I don't want

to go in there.

Why does this game spook me out so much?

I don't know. I played loads of violent

games like Cyberpunk, but it's all

colorful and it's not scary. I don't know

why Resident Evil creeps me out so much,

cuz I played it when I was 10 years old

and it freaked me out. I had nightmares

for years.

I guess I should go in there.

Oh, look at the shadow. It's like my

chicken legs. Look at his chicken legs.

That was funny. Well, the shadow

technology in games Again, good hamburger.

Wow, the shadow's good. Is that ray

tracing?

His shadow blocks the light reflecting as

well.

Beer on sale, $5.99.

Coffee.

His shadow blocks the light.

Free air, set pressure,

connects to tire.

Ice, 199. Is that cheap?

I guess I'll go inside. Should I go

inside? Can I crouch?

Oh, I can— no, I thought I could strafe.

What else can I do?

Look at his face, it looks so real.

Ah, God,

why? Hello? Anybody there?

No, go away. Turn back.

Where's the sheriff?

Something's not right. No shit.

Oh, it's the worst. Oh my God,

the flashlight casts shadows. Oh, it looks

so real. Narrow claustrophobic

aisles. Can I change the difficulty?

I can't change the difficulty.

Ice cream. If I don't help him,

he dies anyway, doesn't he? I can hear

struggling.

What happens if I don't help?

Can you hear?

I wonder if this audio is, is on loop

until I go in there to trigger the event.

It sounds like it's on loop.

It's not loop, it's real.

No, it's on loop.

Who's breathing? Is that Leon?

We can hear— sounds

like they're having sex.

Well, look, even a little box casts a

shadow.

Hello?

Anyone there? Do you think the game sound

is loud enough?

I think it's loud enough.

I want to look at the little details

first. They've got $1.25 cigarettes.

It is half past 10.

Can I go behind the cash register?

Yeah, that's like where I used to sit. I

used to have a little stool behind the

cash register. This kind of looks like the

petrol station I worked in. Had a counter

here, but the door was down here.

You're right. Oh,

don't move. Why are you just sitting

there? Why don't you help your partner?

Stupid policeman.

Beer on sale. Oh, is there any sexy

Gorgeous undercover thrill.

He's too fat to help. It's also bleeding

out. It's gonna turn into a zombie.

But when I walk here, I can hear the

struggling more clearly.

Turn the light on. I don't think you can.

They get you with the jump scares in this

game by making the whole game really dark

and then just giving you a little

flashlight. I think I can go behind,

maybe here. Oh no, you can't open this.

Can I see in here?

I can't see inside.

Premium coffee.

Oh, there's blood here.

What happened here?

I think you only play scary games if we

keep you company. Yeah, I definitely

wouldn't play this alone. I would like to

play with my girlfriend. She'd be so

freaked out. The game just looks so real.

The shadows are amazing. Look at the way

you shine on that piece of paper hanging

there, cast a shadow behind it.

Surprised you didn't play as Claire.

Yeah, I could have looked at a bum. I

always play Leon. I think Leon's

more interesting. Maybe I'll just go back

out. Bye-bye.

Get back in my car. Let's drive the other

way. Let's go somewhere nicer.

Maybe he turns into a zombie if you leave

Oh, it's him that's gasping. Wow, he lost

a lot of blood. He should be dead by now.

You get bitten in your main artery there,

you bleed out in like a minute.

Do I have to go in there?

Oh, I don't want to go inside the stupid

fridge place.

Let me check the audio.

I'm gonna go pee and check the audio,

the audio levels. If I'm gonna be scared,

I want you guys to get scared too. Why do

I have to suffer alone?

Suffer alone.

Suffer alone. Can you even hear him?

I don't think you can hear him grunting

and stuff.

How about now?

Testing. How about

now? Testing.

Testing.

Yeah, I think you can hear him going, uh,

uh, uh.

Get a strong weapon. Where do I get a

strong weapon?

Okay, let me get comfy. We are going to

encounter the first Zombie.

Good thing I don't have this on full

screen, even more scary.

Here we go.

Oh, they do, they do these long hallways,

corridors in Resident Evil really well.

These narrow, confined corridors.

Oh, what was that?

There was a very loud bang,

definitely different to the previous audio

loop.

He's trying to bum the zombie or

something. The music— if

I go back, does the music stop?

Oh, he locked me in. The stupid Stupid fat

guy. Oh my God,

stupid fat guy locked me in.

Can I see out this bit? Is he still there?

Hello?

Oh, what are they doing?

Good job, Leon. He had the situation under

control. Now look what you did.

Freeze!

I'll shoot! Why can't

they die when you shoot them in the head?

Okay, zombie is dead.

A little bit too loud in my ear.

Isn't he gonna turn into a zombie?

I don't think the game's that advanced.

It's more like a scripted

scene. I remember in the old Resident

Evils, you walk over the bodies In they

grab your foot. Can I shoot his radio?

Oh, is he still alive? Oh, he's still

Fuck! Why doesn't it die? I think it's

Is it dead? Yeah.

I've only got one bullet. Got it. It took

my whole clip to take him down.

They're so dumb, they don't die in one

shot. Yeah, he's definitely dead.

So I guess he was the petrol station

manager or something.

What stupid policeman carries like 9

bullets on him?

Box of cereal.

Make the chat a bit smaller.

Matilda, 12-shot capacity, 9mm polymer

frame. Handgun. Non-standard issue gun

with problems that make it impractical for

general public.

Now you can inspect items like that.

What a crap-looking gun. That is the

worst-looking gun I've ever seen.

It's so plain.

Matilda. On behalf of RPD,

congratulations on completing your

training. Your especially high marks are

to be commended, and we couldn't be

prouder to have you as a member of our

force. Your force is all dead now. Report

to Raccoon City Police Station at 8 AM.

Brian Irons. Oh, he's the chief. He's a

bad guy. He sabotaged the station and

they kidnapped that little girl.

So what do I do now?

Should I shoot him?

Ah, didn't shoot his body.

No more bullets now.

Whoa, sexy ladies! That bum—

I'd kill to have a girlfriend with a bum

How come I can never get a girlfriend who

has a bum like this. Has anyone else had a

girlfriend with a bum like that? So big

and round.

Oh, is that a key?

Can I read this? Oh, he's having pizza.

Okay,

let's go

to the next bit. Use my key.

Maybe that fat guy's a zombie too now.

Oh, is he a zombie? I don't have any

bullets.

Oh, there's one there too.

Where's the exit? Oh, we're getting

stuck in the shelving.

Oh, that's Claire.

Why is the sound out of sync with the

You all right? Yeah, I think so. Thanks.

You can thank me later when we're safe.

Holy shit.

Sound is weird.

The game's lagging.

Come on, get in!

Why is the game lagging like this? Hold

on,

lagging on a cutscene is weird.

Where did he even get the keys for the

car? He got the key for the petrol station

door. Well, the key should be on the

police officer. Wait, you're a cop?

Yeah, Leon Kennedy. You are?

Claire. Claire Redfield.

Live around here? No. Looking for my

brother. He's a cop too. Well, it's a good

thing we found each other. Isn't he in the

first game? Chris. Chris Redfield.

Resident Evil.

With Resident Evil story is it gets too

silly with that Wesker guy, and then he's

got like superhuman abilities. It was nice

when it's just simple zombies, mysterious

disease. They take it

too far. Typical Japanese storytelling.

Like Metal Gear Solid starts off realistic

and interesting, then it gets more and

more crazy to the point where this is This

is silly now.

Imagine the grid of Raccoon City was like

the shape of an umbrella.

Uh, they don't do the Resident Evil.

That was the best bit of the intro in the

Who's saying that in the megaspeaker? So

there's still people alive.

Why would you want to drive further

Further into a city like that, just turn

around and leave. The only ones. What if

there's no survivors? There's survivors.

It's a big city. There has to

be. Further into a city like that, just

turn around and leave.

Looks like we're walking from here. Can

you just imagine the scene when this was

happening? The panic, people just

trying to barge their way out of the city,

then the car gets stuck. They gotta get

out. Whoa! Oh,

that burger guy is gonna come in the

I don't know why the cutscene's lagging.

Maybe it's the ray tracing.

Holy shit. There, get out, get out now!

I can't hold

Better run. Boom.

Whoa,

Claire!

Claire, are you okay?

Yeah, I'm all right. How about you?

Can't stay here, it's not safe. Go on

ahead, I'll meet you at the station. I'll

be there. Oh, what do I do? I remember

this bit in the original, you gotta run

around. I'm lagging.

This stupid game just lagged.

I can't move.

How do I move? This is out of control.

Stupid controls don't work for me. I want

to look. Stop chasing me.

Whoa.

What do I do? Do I go down here?

I think I go this way.

Shit, it's everybody! They've all

I knew you died in the beginning.

Are they following me?

There it is, the station.

Wow, look at all the cars.

I just wondered how come you can get bit

in it in the game and you never turn into

I've got no bullets.

Is that a zombie? Oh,

this one's stuck. Oh no,

she's trying to get into the car.

Look, you can see the police tried to make

like a barricade. Can you imagine the

police station being the last

building standing in the whole city and

the cops just barricading themselves

inside? Oh,

that guy's body's cut in half.

Ah, he can't get him. Fuck it.

What are you gonna do now, idiots?

Look, the outside of the gate gets all

dark.

Raccoon League Police. Why didn't they

just do this? Lock the gate. How did the

police station fall?

Maybe there's secrets this way.

It's a

body bag. I think that Chief Irons

sabotaged the place. People got infected

inside of the station. Like, they— I

remember in the Resident Evil movie, they

arrested the zombie, had him handcuffed on

a chair, and then Jill walks in and shoots

it. All the dead bodies here.

I like the way you can get an idea of what

happened just by looking at the things in

the surroundings.

That's the door. I hate this bit.

This is where I got to last time in 2019.

Decided to quit the game. Hello?

Is anybody here?

What a weird police station. This looks

more like a museum.

What's that? Ammo.

Parabellum bullets.

Computer. Wow, we only get 6 bullets.

RPD. There has to be someone here.

The last survivor.

Not good. David, Marvin, you there?

I found a way out. It's in here.

Send reinforcements. East hallway.

What reinforcements? There's no one here.

Okay, I'll just send a platoon of SWAT

teams.

That's why I click it again.

Wow, even the computer is so '90s.

Storage,

and we got save

point. Maybe I'll save it.

I hate how sweaty my hand is. Can't grip

I think you have to get a knife to cut

this tape off because for some reason you

can't just peel it off. And then you go in

here.

Oh, he's got a bite mark on his jacket.

That's pretty cool.

They probably put sick people here.

Oh, heal,

use,

and save it again.

What happens if

I shoot the computer?

What if I shoot the explosive canister?

Does anything happen?

What's here?

Oh, isn't that guy here? In the original,

it was that black guy. Uh, you gotta get

these stupid keys to open this statue,

and then it leads on to an underground

basement thing, doesn't it?

Where's that Marvin guy?

It's the thing I hate about Resident Evil,

there's so many damn keys you gotta get.

It's basically just go into one room, get

a key, go back, put the key in, get

another key, go back to the beginning to

unlock another door. It's just like

unlocking doors simulator.

Can I just kick the door in?

Looks like a flimsy wooden door.

What's that? Bullets.

Can you imagine playing this on a massive

60-inch TV?

Surround sound, turn the lights off,

all alone.

Can I cheat and put this code in if I

Who knows what code you put in here.

What if I just Google the code?

Resident Evil 2 police station shield

lion griffin— griffin statue

code.

Lion,

branch,

bird, lion.

Is that a branch? And then bird.

Oh, it worked! Did I just cheat?

I'm sure you're not supposed to know that

unless you Googled it. How would you know

Okay, so what do I do with it?

Lion, branch, bird. It's like Resident

Evil 1, took me ages to find out how to

get that sword shield key thing.

See what's over here.

No, I thought it's gonna be locked.

Audio only? What do you mean?

What's audio only?

Okay, see what's in here.

Imagine they put a zombie behind the door

when you walk in. Oh my god,

the footsteps are so loud. It's worse than

Rainbow Six.

Look at

the computers back then. Big square

Should I just Google this as well?

It's so easy to cheese the game.

Safe passcode Resident Evil

2. 2128.

2,

1, 2,

8.

Nothing happened.

He said the code is written on the safe's

side. Maybe this is not the same safe.

2,

12,

8.

Upstairs.

9, 15, 7. Maybe it's this one.