Beer stream with Daniel

When was the last time I streamed? It

feels like it's been ages since I last

streamed. My keys were in my bag,

which means That they've been in

my bag since I met the Essex girl. Feels

like that was ages ago. When did I meet

her? Was it last week? I streamed before

I met the Essex girl, didn't I? And then

after I met her, I felt a bit depressed

because she wasn't what I was expecting.

And, um, okay,

maybe I got my hopes up a little bit too

much. It feels

like I just got back from Germany

You raged, you raged hard last time. Oh

yeah, yeah, I got a bit

triggered last stream.

Oh yeah, I did stream after the Essex car.

I can't even remember. The days just blend

into each other at this point. I don't

even know what day it is today. I think

it's Monday?

No, it's Tuesday. I got some beer.

I ordered 8 and then the Amazon delivery

guy came And he broke 2 of the bottles.

I also ordered Pot Noodle, Twix, and some

crisps, and the whole Amazon Pantry box

was soaked in beer. And he was all

panicking. He was saying, do you want to

accept or reject the parcel?

He kept trying— he kept blaming the guys

at the warehouse for dumping it into his

van. I don't know, maybe he broke it, but

he didn't want to admit it.

Wow, that loser Gunner already announced

you're streaming. I swear that guy doesn't

have a job because every time I say

something on Discord, instantly it gets

screenshotted and put onto the subreddit

by him. As soon as I start streaming,

instantly he makes a notification.

Either he's doing all this whilst working

or at work, or he doesn't work. And he

just sits around waiting for me to do

stuff. I don't know who's sadder, me, the

person who has no life, or him, the person

who hates me, who's obsessed over me.

Who's more pathetic, the person who has no

life or the person who's obsessed with the

person who has no life?

What was I saying?

Something about beer. Oh yeah, the Amazon

delivery guy. I don't know if he was lying

because if the warehouse guys smashed the

bottle, wouldn't he have noticed it being—

wouldn't he have noticed the big wet box

in his van? I don't know. Anyway, I said

don't worry about it, it's just 2 bottles

out of 8, and I said I'll accept it. He

looked so happy. He thanked me. There was

a big smile on his face. I think if

I reject— rejected it, he might have

gotten into trouble, or he might have been

punished somehow. I'm not sure. Does

anyone know if you work for Amazon

delivering and you have a

customer reject your delivery because it's

broken, do you as the delivery person, do

you have to pay money, or do you lose

money, or do you get a pay cut

or something? Would you get a strike or

something like that?

Nothing happens? Oh well, I thought I did

a good deed.

How do you guys know? You don't work for

Amazon. I thought

that they were Um, what's the

word? I thought they had a very strict

quota for how many deliveries a day they

have to make, and they're always rushing

to meet the quota, and it's very

stressful. That's what I heard. And I got

my Düsseldorf beer opener. Did I show you

this? Got this at the airport in

Düsseldorf. It's a

bottle opener so I don't have to use my

key. It's very nice, has a magnet as well.

It says Düsseldorf, Germany on it.

Now I can remember what a great time I had

there every time I have a beer.

Why is it so hard to open? I've never used

Yes,

this is one of my favorite beers. I think

it's Italian. Birra Moretti. It smells

like my armpit, actually.

It smells almost the same. As my armpit

does. Why do I like the taste

of my armpit? What are they doing

out there?

There's 2 vans.

Smells the same. Look, this is how you

pour beer. You pour it in at an angle,

that way you don't get bubbles.

I'm a genius.

Didn't have a very good day today. I had a

bit of an argument with my mother over

the same things.

I don't know why, but she started going on

about that video I made about her, the one

Why I Hate My Mum video, which I took down

now. She said that someone at work— she

said, oh, someone at work might have seen

it. So embarrassing. How could you say all

those things about me? And then people—

and then she said someone asked her, why

doesn't she kick me out? Kick me out?

Because I don't understand how I'm the bad

guy just because I made a video expressing

my feelings. All of a sudden I'm the bad

guy because I called her horrible,

and then I don't understand why she's

surprised that I called her horrible after

she says all these horrible things to me.

Yeah, kick Daniel out. He, he was the one

who called you all the names. No, it was

the other way around. I'm the victim.

She's the opposite of what a victim is.

She was the one who called me horrible

names. I didn't call her horrible names.

I just said that she called me horrible

names. I didn't say anything insulting in

the video, did I? So I don't understand

why I'm the bad guy.

And you have to understand, I've been

suffering this kind of verbal abuse since

10 years ago, for the last 10 years.

It's always, Daniel's so useless, he can't

do this, he can't even drive, wish I got

abortion. He's so hopeless. Oh,

your cousins, they have proper jobs and

they can drive and they're married, they

moved out. And sometimes

I just, I just get so fed up with having

to put up with all that all the time.

And then I made a video expressing my

feelings, and then all of a sudden she's

attacking me again. And then I'm the bad

person because I called her horrible, or I

said that she says horrible things about

me, which is true. She does say horrible

things about me.

And now she's saying that

she really felt like I stabbed her in the

back by saying things about her on a

People asking her why doesn't she kick me

out. Kick me out for what?

Because I said that she said horrible

things to me? Maybe if you stopped saying

horrible things to me, then I would be

nicer. How can you expect someone to be

nice to you when you just say horrible

things to them all the time?

And then she keeps going on about driving.

She said, oh, your cousin, they know how

to drive. And I said, I don't need to know

how to drive because I don't go anywhere.

And then she said, you should learn to

drive so you can help me, so you can drive

me to places when I get old. My arthritis

will be too bad, I won't be able to drive.

So she only wants me to learn how to drive

so I can drive her around. Not because it

might be helpful for my future, but so I

can be her personal taxi driver. It's not

my responsibility to be your taxi driver.

And then she keeps saying that she wants

me to go and find my own life. So which is

it? Does she want me to stay at home and

be her personal taxi driver, or does she

want me to go off and find my own life?

Can't have both.

I don't want to have to learn to drive

just so I can take her to places.

Use, use the bus or train or a taxi.

Does she expect me to be here in 10 years'

time when I'm 40 driving her around?

Uh, there's lots of things to talk about

today, so you're just gonna have to be

patient. The one that's been buggering— I

mean, bugging me all day was that argument

with my mum.

She's so annoying, people telling her to

kick me out. Kick me out for what?

And then she keeps talking about, um, me

not tidying up when I do. I bought my own

vacuum cleaner. Every time I do cooking

with Daniel, I always clean up everything,

wipe all the surfaces, wash everything I

used.

I hoover the kitchen and the living areas

and the carpets. Okay, I don't go around

with a toothbrush and 100% clean the

entire house top to bottom. My cleaning

standards aren't that high. I clean it to

a level where I think, oh, it looks,

looks good enough, looks clean enough,

looks okay. Don't go around with a little

toothbrush and then she says I don't

clean when I do. So frustrating.

And then every time the uncles come over

to do gardening, she'll say, oh, I wish I

had a son who could do gardening, then

don't have to rely on the uncles.

Well, if the uncles didn't keep coming,

then maybe I would do some gardening. I

don't know what gardening you want done.

It looks fine to me. All right, look

outside the window.

What gardening?

I don't really care if the bush overgrows

a little bit. It's gonna die in a few

months when winter comes back.

I don't want to do gardening. I don't mind

if, if no one else did it. I don't mind

getting a pair of those big scissors and

then going around snipping stuff. I was

actually quite looking forward to doing

that. But I don't have to because the

uncles keep coming around and doing it.

It's like I don't have any responsibility

and people always doing everything for me,

and then I get criticized for not being

responsible. I'd love to be responsible.

I'd love it if I could just for once not

have people trying to guilt-trip me and

trying to make me feel like I'm useless.

So I would love it if I could experience

what it's like not having to rely on

anyone and not having anyone to do

everything for me. But no, there's always

someone, isn't there? My dad, my uncles.

Everyone always thinks that I can't do

anything and I'm so useless. It's not hard

to get a big pair of scissors and clip

stuff. It's not like it's rocket science.

I could easily do it. If no one else did

I'm more capable than people think, and

it's just annoying. People think I'm so

useless all the time.

Do I help towards bills? Yeah, I gave her

£500 before I went to Germany, and then I

gave her another £500 a few weeks ago.

So it's not like I'm not giving her any

And then she keeps going on about me not

having a job, saying that I just sit

around the house doing nothing all day. I

keep telling her over and over again that

I do YouTube. That's what I do. I make

videos and I stream and

I try and manage that. It's like it just

doesn't get into her head that YouTube is

a job. Just because I'm at home all day—

people, loads of people work at home.

Just because you're at home all day

doesn't mean you're not working.

It's just so annoying to get judged and

criticized all these stupid things all the

time. And then she keeps saying— every

time I say YouTube is my job, she'll say,

oh, YouTube, you're telling everyone all

these disgraceful things about you, about

all the sex and, and a

guy giving you a BJ. Oh, I'm so ashamed.

All my friends, they look on your YouTube

channel and the first video they see is

you getting a blowjob by a Japanese guy.

I said, who cares? I don't care what they

think. This is what I want to do with my

life. I don't give a shit if Jim Bloggs,

who works at the castle with you, thinks

I'm a weirdo. Fuck Jim Bloggs. Couldn't

care less what he thinks. My life,

this is how I want to live it.

She keeps saying I just make videos about

sex all the time. It's not true. I've

made, I don't know, maybe 20, 15 to 20

videos about sex out of hundreds and

hundreds and hundreds of videos. How many

hundreds of videos do I have on my

channel? And then you work out the

percentage that's about sex. It's not even

5%. Most of my videos are not about sex.

Just what's so bad about talking about sex

anyway? I hate this taboo. Oh, we're not

allowed to talk about sex. So shameful.

Why? If I want to talk about sex, talk

about sex. If you don't want to listen,

don't watch.

Trying to make me feel guilty.

So annoying. No one ever praises me. No

one ever says, well done, Daniel, for

building a channel that you can make money

off. Well done, Daniel, for accomplishing

your dream of becoming self-employed. No,

all I get is, oh, so disgraceful.

All my friends know about all the girls

you banged now. As if I give a shit what

your friends think. Why should I care?

It's my channel, make what I want.

I never get any praise, no one ever says

Oh, well done, Daniel. That's pretty cool.

I liked this video, or well

done for this or that. All I get is

constant criticism.

Criticizing.

I worked hard to build this channel.

Didn't just happen overnight. Took me

years and years and years.

People think making a YouTube channel is

so easy, why don't you try, see how far

you get? If anyone could do it, everyone

would be doing it, wouldn't they?

It just hurts. I don't really care that

much if it's coming from a bunch of

strangers on the internet. It just hurts

when your own mum is so ashamed

of you and then says all this hurtful

stuff to you.

And then she gets upset because I'm upset

because she said hurtful stuff to me.

Instead of, I'm sorry, Daniel, didn't mean

to hurt your feelings. No, I'm the bad guy

all the time. It's like she doesn't think

I have feelings of my own. How do you

think it feels when you're constantly

talked to like that by your own mum?

I just wish I could become independent.

Maybe I'll just go back to Japan.

At least then I don't have people nagging

me. Then I have my wife nagging

me, don't I? There's always someone

nagging me. Why can't

people just leave me alone?

I just want to live my life how I want to

live it without

people always judging me,

saying I should be doing this and that.

I thought about moving out in England,

but it's just not worth it.

I'd rather just put up with this. Then I

have to pay so much money to move out,

and then I don't even have plans to stay

in England long term. You know, I want to

go to Japan again.

I don't want to get a 2-year contract flat

in Maidstone and be stuck here. I want

to go around, move around.

I don't want to be like my sister, be

stuck in London in some shit flat sharing

with 4 other strangers.

Ugh, London. Of all places, why London?

London's horrible. Hate it.

I've been talking to my wife. I think she

will take me back because, I don't know,

she seems weird now. She just

seems too—

what's the word? For example,

at the beginning she was really angry and

she was going to sue me and stuff, and now

when I talk to her it's like She's not

angry at all, and she's laughing. We

talked yesterday and she was laughing

about how 2 people recognized her. She

said, thanks to me, thanks to Daniel, I'm

famous. I said, why? What do you mean?

She said she went to a bar with her

friends and some American person

recognized her, and then at her English

class someone recognized her. They said,

are you Daniel's wife? How come more

people recognize her than me? I walked

around London for hours and hours and

hours. No one recognized me.

More people recognize her than they

recognize me. Weird, isn't it? I didn't

know people would recognize her.

And then I said, how come you don't seem

very angry after everything I did? She

said, She just doesn't feel angry anymore.

And I said, is that because you don't love

me anymore? She said she doesn't know.

She said we'll have to meet again and

then she'll be able to know how she feels

about me. She said that something feels

different to before. I don't know,

maybe she doesn't care about me anymore.

That's maybe— maybe that's why she's not

upset anymore.

I said, but you promised your family that

you wouldn't meet me again. She said, I

know, if we got back together again, I'd

keep it secret. That's what she said. So

the good news is, if we got back together

again, I wouldn't have to meet her family.

Got myself out of that one.

Her family signed the divorce papers as

her witnesses. They were all for it.

And then I said to her, are you sure

you're not trying to trick me? Are you

just pretending that everything's okay,

but really you're still angry? And then I

go back to Japan and then you sue me, and

then I can't escape because I'm in Japan

now. She said,

um, I can't remember

what she said. She said something about

Your fans told you that, didn't they? I

said, yeah, but it's also kind of possible

for something like that to happen.

But what if she's just lying and she's

trying to trick me to come back to Japan,

then she can sue me?

Let me see what else she said.

She just says she's not angry anymore,

and she said the whole German girl stuff

was funny. She said it was funny. Bit

weird, isn't it? I did meet up with 4

women. I had sex with 2 of them. And now

she thinks it's funny. I don't know, I'm

getting strange feelings about this.

I don't think it would be funny if my wife

hooked up with 4 guys and slept with 2 of

them. I wouldn't be laughing. I'd be

pretty pissed off. Be pretty upset.

I don't know, what do you think?

She knows everything that I've done. How

can she still be willing to take me back?

I don't know. Don't understand her.

I really want to go back, even if I don't

get back with her. Even if I— even if I

just stay single, I still want to go back.

Because it's so boring

here.

At least in Japan, I feel more independent

and I can meet girls. Here,

yeah, I can meet girls here, but they're

just not really my type. I met 4 already

and none of them were my type. Now I was

supposed to meet up with a bunch of

others, but I can't be bothered. Half of

them ghosted me. Half of them are

not reliable. Half of them are ugly.

And then if I sleep with someone from the

channel who knows my channel, then if

something goes bad or if I want to

complain about something, they'll be

listening, they'll get upset, and then

boom, another Turkish girl fiasco.

I think hooking up with girls from my

channel is a bad idea because I can't talk

about it if they tell me not to.

And then if I say anything negative about

them, they'll go running off to someplace

or the comment section, start talking shit

about me, telling their side of the story,

which makes me look bad, obviously.

So I think I'm just gonna stick to girls

who don't know my channel. So, you know,

back on Tinder and dating websites.

I'm kind of fed up with women in general.

The sex doll's pretty good, to be honest.

It's, um, the sex doll's satisfying my

urges pretty well.

It's just a shame it doesn't have legs.

I'd really love it if it had legs.

I cleaned it today. It was a bit weird.

It's like holding a baby. I was washing it

in the sink. I was like washing this baby

in the sink or a raw chicken. It's very

detailed. It has little, you know, little

wrinkles around the anus. It has those and

has a little clit and it has nipples and

around the nipples has those little bumps

that nipples have. The boobs are really

nice, and the butt cheeks are just so

nice, round. Hips are wide, the waist is

slim. It's like this shape. It's so nice.

The, uh, the figure of it is hands down

better than any girl I've ever slept with.

It's just like the perfect figure. Slim

waist, wide hips, round buttocks.

Japanese women, they don't have buttocks.

They're so flat and they bend over, it's

all pointy. The only way you get a

Japanese girl who has a nice bottom is if

they're fat. If they're slim, then they're

like a plank of wood. They bend over and

it's like this, it's all pointy.

No, I can't show you, I'd get a strike

straight away. It's way too realistic.

So if I got back with my wife, I would

definitely want to get at least a half

doll, and I think that would satisfy my

urges pretty well.

Because after I finish using it, I just

feel so glad that I didn't have to go all

the way to London and spend £200.

Every time I do a hookup and then we

finished, I just want to go home. I just

feel like, oh, can we just go? No, I have

to lie here in the bed for another few

hours so I don't come across as rude.

It's quite, um, it's quite satisfying.

Yeah,

problems with it would be the

rubber feels kind of sticky.

It doesn't feel dry like skin.

I don't know, it's not like super sticky.

Someone recommended that I should put

powder on it, like talcum powder.

Um, it's all right. Yeah, I'm quite happy

that I bought it, but it's not going to be

very good value for money if I'm leaving

soon. It means I only used it for a few

weeks,

and then the skin starts peeling on

it. It's weird, it's starting to peel.

I'm not sure why.

It's very realistic. When I take my

glasses off, everything goes blurry and it

kind of looks just like a real woman. I

try and ignore the fact it has no legs or

When am I planning to go to Japan? Well,

I'm waiting for my passport to come. So I

can't go until I get that.

I'm planning around June,

hopefully around

June, and I'll get an Airbnb.

I don't want to move straight back into my

wife's place.

I'm a bit worried when she said we need to

meet first to see how she feels about me.

What do you mean? Do you mean you don't—

you don't love me anymore?

I don't think she loves me anymore. If she

did, I don't think she would be so jokey

about talking about the German girl and

stuff like that. It's like she doesn't

care anymore. That's why she's able to

laugh about it. So if she really loved me

still, then wouldn't she

be more upset?

She hasn't— she hasn't said that she

wanted me back. She asked me, am I coming

back to Japan? I said yes. And then she

said, are you coming back to me? And then

I said, do you want me to come back to

you? And then she said, I think we're both

thinking of the same thing. And I said,

what's that? And then she said, You think

about it yourself. So it's very vague.

What do you mean, I think we're thinking

about the same thing? What are we thinking

about? I don't know what you're thinking

about. I can't read your mind. I hate it

when women do this. They expect us to read

their minds. Just tell me what you're

thinking, for fuck's sake. It would make

things so much easier. Playing these

stupid mind games. Just tell me what

you're thinking. Think about it yourself.

It's like that line, well, if I have to

tell you, then there's no point me telling

you.

Let me check. I can't remember what she

said. Uh, she said Oh,

she said, I think we can get back together

because I'm not angry anymore. And then

I said, but didn't you promise your mum

that you wouldn't meet me again? She said

yes.

And then she said If we get back together

again, her family will definitely disown

her because they know everything

that happened.

I don't know.

Sometimes I think it would be a good idea

to go back.

But then sometimes the idea of being

single in Japan could be fun.

Could have more hookups.

But hookups aren't that great, really. I

keep thinking that hookups is— hookup—

having hookups is the best thing in the

world. And then I do it and then it's not

so great.

It's okay. I always

feel disappointed, though.

Maybe a sex doll could just satisfy my,

my urges for hookups. If I had a good sex

doll, then I wouldn't feel the need to

hook up anymore, and I could just be happy

with her as a companion,

partner, wife.

I don't really feel very happy here

because of my mum.

I'd be happy if I was living here by

myself, or if my mum didn't keep judging

me.

I don't know. I don't know what to do with

my life.

It's relaxing being here. Got a nice

big garden, can go out there when it's

sunny and it's peaceful, no people around.

I can get everything I want off Amazon.

I've got lots of alone time so I can make

content easily.

I just feel bored.

I feel bored, but I don't know what, what

I could do to make it not boring.

So I have everything I want. What?

What more could I have to make me feel

I tried to sell my Switch. These stupid

people. I'm trying to use this app called

Shpock, and I sold my GoPro on

it, no problems. He just paid me on

PayPal. But then I sold my Switch to this

guy and he said he's gonna pick it up,

and then we agreed to Friday. He never

came, never showed up, didn't even message

me. So I relisted it, sold it to a

different guy, rearranged to meet up for

up. He didn't show, didn't message me, so

I relisted it again. So annoying, these

stupid people saying they're gonna buy it,

agreeing to a day to come here to pick it

up, then they don't come. They don't even

message me. And I guess I could message

them, but I feel so pissed off. I don't

want to talk to them anymore. So I leave

them a 1-star review and then relist. Now

some woman wants to buy it for £150 when

I've asked for £250. Why don't they just

use PayPal and then I'll post it to you if

you're so busy? Now I'm stuck with this

stupid Switch that I spent nearly £400 on

but never use.

I can't use eBay because I need to make a

new PayPal because they banned me on my

main account because of the knife

sharpening. Incident. Knife sharpening

stone incident.

At least I sold the GoPro, that's good.

I just never use it and there's no games

on the Switch that interest me. They're

all just baby games. The only games that

interest me right now are Rainbow Six and

Kingdom Come: Deliverance. That's quite

fun. Takes a bit of time to get into.

But it's quite a nice game. It's very

relaxing. It's very pretty.

You're in this medieval countryside and

there's towns and little villages,

and then you can get a job, you can date

some woman, and then you can steal stuff.

It's like Skyrim but realistic.

It's just a shame it's set in Hungary. I

thought it was set in England at first

because they had English accents, but then

they kept talking about these weird places

and they've heard of like Skalitz. I

looked up Skalitz and it was in Hungary.

I was like, what? This game's in Hungary?

I thought it was in England. Why didn't

they make it in England? That would make

sense. Then they have English accents.

It's weird, they all have English accents

but it's set in Hungary. And then some of

them have weird American accents. Some of

them have American accents, some of them

have English accents. It's just a big

mess, the accents. Oh, thank you,

T-pop. Have I started to look at men? No,

I'm not interested in men.

It's Czechoslovakia. Oh yeah, yeah,

Czechoslovakia, not Hungary. I just

don't find it interesting because I know

nothing about Czechoslovakia. If it was

about England, that would be cool,

but no, because the

developers are Czechoslovakian developing

company. Of all countries, bloody Czech

Republic. You know,

the guy who stole Sayaka from me is a

Czech guy. What a coincidence.

It's a bit annoying at the beginning

because there's so many things that can

kill you. You eat rotten food and then you

get food poisoning and then you die. If

you jump off a ledge too high, you break

your legs. And then you're crippled. I

don't know how to get, get them

uncrippled. It's really

difficult to do the fighting. The sword

fighting mechanic is a bit strange. It's

not hack and slash. You have to time

blocking and the direction you're slashing

at, stuff like that.

And then I get bored and I just go around

killing the villagers and I get arrested.

I try to stop doing that. Every time I

play open-world games like Fallout or

Skyrim, I just go around killing the

innocent people and stealing their stuff.

Talking about Kingdom Come: Deliverance.

My James Charles videos didn't do very

well. I don't get it. Everyone's doing

James Charles videos, even small channels,

channels smaller than mine. They get lots

of views. So I thought, hey, I'll do a

James Charles video. Maybe I can get lots

of views. Didn't even get 20k.

So what the hell? I saw one channel, she

only has 37,000 subs. She made a James

Charles video, 70k views.

How? Why? Why can't I get,

get 70k views?

I think YouTube is restricting you. I

think that as well, because none of my

videos get recommended to people. That's

why I'm not getting any new subs. My subs

are just trickling down because none of my

videos get pushed out to new audiences or

new people. The channel's just dying.

You wouldn't mind if I start talking to

Chihiro? I would mind. She's still my

wife. Oh, thank you, Rochi.

My point's not very good. Doesn't matter

about the actual content, it's the title.

People don't know if it sucks or not.

Unless they click it. The thing— the point

is people didn't click it because YouTube

didn't recommend it to people. And the

points I made, they weren't even my

points. I just read the comment section on

those million-viewed videos and I just,

just copied their points. I don't care

about James Charles, all that rubbish. I

just pretended I cared. As if I give a

shit about James Charles.

I just read the comment section on the

other videos and I just repeated what the

commenters were saying. It was just

clickbait, but it didn't work. I don't get

it. I thought you put James Charles in the

title, boom, James Charles fans or

people interested in it would click on it.

But no, I got a couple new subs from

people Um, who found my channel

thanks to it, but there were like 5 people

Oh, thank you, Rochi. Do I think my mum

has been nagging me more since my father

passed away? No, it's always been like

this. People keep saying it's because

she's grieving. It's not because she's

grieving. Since 10 years ago, she's been

like this. Oh, why doesn't Daniel get a

job? Oh, why is Daniel so useless? Oh,

why doesn't he learn Stripe? Every year

since I was about 20. It has nothing to do

with her grieving or my dad dying.

She's just upset because she sees all my

cousins and people my age, they're all

driving. I don't know why she has this

obsession, this stupid obsession with

driving, as if, if you're a man and you

can't drive, it means you're a failure as

a man. She has this old-fashioned way of

thinking, and she keeps comparing me to my

cousins and stuff. Oh, your cousin moved

out, has a job, and he's married. Who

cares?

I'm not gonna learn to drive. I couldn't

care less about driving. I don't go

anywhere. Being able to drive would be

completely useless for me. Be a big waste

of time, waste of money.

It's just stupid to learn to drive just so

people think you're cool.

Not being able to drive has not been a

problem for me. I've never, never felt

as if I needed to be able to drive. I get

the train and I walk, or I buy stuff

online. You do not need a car to survive.

What would I do if I had a car? Drive it

where? Drive it to the train station?

I wouldn't go anywhere if I had a car.

It's not important. If you want to go

shopping, Amazon. You want to get food?

Tesco online. You know, we live in a world

where we have the internet. This isn't

1950.

You can get everything ordered online.

There's public transport going anywhere

that's important. It's just so

irritating, people thinking I need to be

able to drive. You watch me. I'll get to

age 80 and then I'll die, and I'll live my

entire life without driving. And then I'll

be laughing at all those people who

thought I needed to drive. Who's buzzing

me? So annoying, people telling me to

drive.

I will never learn to drive. Just out of

spite, just to spite those people who

think I need to drive. Even if I had any

sliver of interest of driving in the first

place, I will refuse to drive just to

show those idiots that they're wrong and I

don't need to know how to drive and I can

live a perfectly comfortable life without

needing to drive. So screw you. I'm living

my life how I want to, not how you want

to. If you don't like it, you can shut up

and get stuffed. Because it's my life.

I only have one. It's not gonna last

forever, and I'm gonna live it how I want

to live it. And if you don't like it,

that's your problem, not mine. Tough luck.

Live your own life. Worry about living

your life. Stop worrying about how I live

mine.

Don't like it? I don't care. It's not my

problem, it's yours.

No one gets to tell me what to do with my

life. It's mine.

Mine. Okay? No one

has authority over me.

Tell me how to live my life.

How would you like it if I told you how to

live your life? You wouldn't like it,

would you? No one wants to be told what

You know why all of the English colonies

rebelled against the Queen, the Crown?

Because no one likes being told what to

do. You Americans know it.

Every country that gets colonized

eventually wants independence,

even if they have to fight for it. No one

wants to be ruled under someone's rules,

do they? So don't

tell me what to do.

I'm a 30-year-old man. I don't need my mum

telling me how to live my life, okay?

I'm out of beer.

What if when you meet someday the love of

your life, but she lives in a village with

bad connections? And no public transport,

and I need to drive to her.

I don't know, I'd say

let's move in together in a townhouse.

Am I still going to Thailand? Probably

not. I'll probably just go back to Japan.

Risk getting arrested? I wouldn't get

arrested. My wife said she's

not gonna bother suing me because she's

not angry anymore, and it would cost a lot

of money to get a lawyer and waste a lot

Oh, my fingers hurt.

I got an HIV test because I thought it'd

be a good idea to get tested again. I

pricked my middle finger, my third finger.

So painful. And then there was a bruise

around the puncture point. I couldn't get

enough blood out of it. I squeezed my

finger like a cow's tit, trying to milk

it. Couldn't even get half of the little

tube filled with blood, so I gave up,

chucked it in the bin. So annoying,

and it's so painful. I pressed the, the

pin thing, and it's spring-loaded, so it

stabs you like that. It's like being stung

by a bee, and it still hurts now.

Weird, didn't happen last time. I couldn't

get enough blood out of my fingers, so I

gave up. So I don't know if I have HIV.

I need to go to a clinic, get them to use

the syringe because I can't do it by

myself. I don't like drawing blood. It's

painful. It's gross. I got blood all over

I got tested in Japan 5 years ago.

They, they drew the blood from this artery

here, and it was painful. I could feel the

needle going in. Ugh, it was really

painful. Hated it.

Why can't they find a better way to test

you for HIV? Why'd you have to get blood

tested? Chlamydia, you just piss into a

bottle. Why do you have to get blood

tested? Why can't they make a new fancy

device where they just scan your finger

and then it can tell you? It's

I don't think I have HIV.

Pretty sure I don't. I did have a lot of

unprotected sex though.

Turkish girl should be fine because she

said she got tested before she met me.

Oh, thank you, T-Pop. My favorite AV star?

I don't have one. I don't know their

names. I just watch random stuff. I don't

look up who they are.

Um, the London girl, I don't know, I think

she should be fine. I'm not sure how much

she sleeps around though.

Who else was there? There was a bunch of

Japanese girls 2017 that I slept with,

but they, they should be fine. They were—

they weren't very pretty, so I don't think

that they're getting banged every night by

different guys. There was a Hong Kong

girl, but I used a condom.

I don't think I have it. Should be fine.

But then if I go back to Japan, I'm

expecting— well, if I don't get back with

my wife, I'm expecting to hook up more,

and I probably won't use protection again.

I just can't do it if she doesn't ask me

to put one on. Then I don't see the point

in putting one on. It just feels so much

better without one.

I should put one on, really,

but it ruins the experience.

I am a bit scared though of getting

something. Maybe I should just put condoms

on. Oh, why do all the good things

in life have to be dangerous? Bacon as

well. I read an article saying bacon—

eating one piece of bacon a day increases

your risk of cancer by blah blah blah.

Why does everything nice and good have to

be bad for you? I I just want to eat bacon

and have unprotected cereal.

It's just boring because I know that

I'm wearing one. It just makes the

excitement go down a bit.

And then I had this argument with my mum

about cooking. You know, I got those

HelloFresh boxes where they send you

ingredients in a bag. I got that so I can

make videos, and I made it, and then she

came home at 9 o'clock in the evening.

She kept going, where's mine? Oh, so

horrible, don't even cook me one.

I didn't know she wanted one. She never

eats my cooking. I made her kebab when I

made the shish kebab. Remember that?

I made 2 and I put one aside, put it in

the fridge for her. She didn't even try

it. She just looked at it like it was some

kind of weird thing. Didn't even try a

piece. So I thought, oh, if you're not

interested, why should I make your

portion? She never eats my cooking,

and then when I don't make her one, she

starts complaining about it as if she'll

eat my cooking.

I only bought those HelloFresh things so I

can make videos about them, not because

of— I want— not because I wanted to cook.

And then she came home so late, I thought

maybe she got something on the way back,

or maybe she got something at work. I

don't know. And then she says, oh, I won't

cook for you then. I never asked her to

cook for me. You don't have to cook for

me. She keeps saying, I cook for you all

the time. I won't cook for you anymore,

as if I begged her to— as if I begged her

to cook for me. You don't have to cook for

me. I know how to get my own food. I'm not

a child. What happened

to the Essex girl? I haven't spoken to her

for a few days. I just don't really see

the point now that I'm not interested in

her romantically. Just like I said before,

I'm not interested in friends if we're

not going to have sex, and I don't really

see the point in talking anymore. I was

really interested in her before I met her.

I thought, wow, She's a really nice

girl. And then I met her and then I

didn't really feel anything.

Who are my prospects now? I don't have

any. There's no one.

I'm done with women. They're just such a

pain. Japanese women who don't know my

channel, still up for it. But anyone else,

no. Too much trouble. I have to go all the

way to London, and then I can't even make

content on it without losing— you saw how

many subs I lost because of the Turkish

girl.

I just don't really see the point in being

friends with people. If I want to talk

about stuff, I'll just do a stream and

talk to you guys,

or I'll watch something on YouTube. I

don't really feel the need to have— I

explained this in my Why I Have No Friends

video. Everyone thought I was trolling. I

said in my Why I Have No Friends video,

I'm not interested in friends because I'm

only interested in meeting people if we're

gonna have sex. Or if I think you could be

my girlfriend. Otherwise, I just don't

feel the point or the need to have

friends. If I want to play games, I just

go online. Play with a bunch of randoms.

If I want to talk to people, I go into

Discord and I chat to people there, or I

do a livestream, chat to people here.

Here, if I had real friends, then I have

to meet them. I don't want to meet people

unless we're having sex. What's the

What about friends that are guys? I don't

like guys. They smell funny. They look

So I don't want to meet people unless I

want to bang them.

My armpit's sweating.

If I had a friend— someone who lives

nearby me messaged me, asked me if I

wanted to meet up. He said he lives 2

straight— 2 train stations away and that

he has no friends as well and we could be

friends. I just don't see the point. What

would we do? So we'd meet up and then

what? Talk? We could talk online.

We don't have to meet up to talk.

And then people keep asking me if I want

to play Rainbow Six with them. I don't

want to play Rainbow Six with people

because I'm not great at it, and I don't

play it seriously. I just run around like

an idiot shooting stuff that moves. I just

play for fun. I'm not competitive,

and I go AFK a lot of the time. I get

kicked out, and I friendly fire by

accident. I had this friend

in 2011 in Japan. He was half Japanese,

half English. And he used to invite me to

his place because he was a bit of a gamer.

He had 2 computers. We would set the

computers up in his kitchen, we'd play

there. And then we played PlanetSide 2

together, and he was so annoying. He kept

getting angry with me because I wasn't

very good at it, because I never played it

before. Kept saying, oh, you have to—

you have to calculate the recoil of the

weapon. When you shoot, it goes up, so you

have to compensate and aim down to

compensate, as if I didn't know about

recoil. I've been playing FPS shooters

since I was 10 years old, and then he

thinks I don't know about weapon recoil.

And an F, it's so annoying. Yeah, I know

how recoil works. It makes the gun go up,

so you have to pull the mouse down to

compensate. I don't know how the guns work

in PlanetSide 2 because I never played it

before. And then he kept telling me what

to do, kept saying, get in the tank,

drive here, go there, do this. Shut up

telling me what to do. So annoying playing

with people. I just want to play by

myself, do what I want to do, relax, have

So that's why I don't play with people.

I'd rather just play with random That way

I can just do what I want and then not

have them having a go at me all the time.

It's just less stressful. Then if I get

bored, I can just quit the game without

having to explain to them. Just join and

leave whenever I want to.

Yeah, everything I like doing apart from

sex I can do by myself, so I don't feel

the need to have friends. If I was really

into football or I don't know,

paintballing, then yeah, maybe I would

want to have friends to play with.

But all my hobbies, all the things I like

doing, I don't need to do with other

people.

Are we the audience, the substitute for

friends? Because this is the kind of stuff

you talk about to a friend. Yeah, you guys

are my friends. Who else do I have to talk

to? I have no one to talk to. It's either

talk to you guys on a stream or talk to a

bunch of strangers on Instagram. At least

doing a stream, I get some money.

Instagram, don't get anything.

The point of life is to make relationships

with other humans. But all of my sadness

and misery is because of other people,

if you think about it. So all, all the

times I felt upset or stressed out or

scared or angry was because of other

people. So I've never felt those feelings

Not because of people, but people are just

irritating.

At least you guys don't really irritate me

that much, and if you do, I just block

I'd be so happy if there was just no

people and I just go down the road and eat

the food out of everyone's fridge. Oh,

it'd be so great if everyone just vanished

and I was the last person in the world.

That's what I feel like sometimes, that

I'm the only person in the world. I

wouldn't need to do YouTube because I

wouldn't need money. Why do I need money?

I need money for food and for shelter,

but if there's no people in the world, I

could just go into anyone's house and live

there and then eat their food. There's

enough food in the world to last me,

isn't there?

I'd find a nice house and then I'd start

hoarding all the food into that house.

Then I'd probably burn down some

neighborhood just for fun. Find,

um, I'd find where they keep the sex dolls