Kick Livestreams/hey 2025-11-13 05_46 [812fbb39-hey] 480p

Yeah, next I'll do renting versus buying a house. Should you get a mortgage? And then should you get a stocks and shares ISA?

No, I didn't generate a script. I just asked AI what are the benefits, and then I just remembered what it said, and then I create my own script in my head.

God, it's so depressing how I once wielded so much power and influence.

Like, by saying one thing, I could crush people.

What do you mean? I mean, like, when so many people love you,

all it takes is saying one little thing to upset them.

Like, I don't know, I don't care about— for example, like, I don't care about homeless people or I don't care about the veterans. You could upset— people get very upset over something very tiny you say because,

you know, they like you. And in the beginning you're like a good guy, so they think you're a good guy. So all it takes is something very tiny to start shifting the opinion of you.

But now everyone just thinks of me as a bad guy or dick.

It's like it doesn't matter what I say now, there's no effect.

It's sad when you realize no one cares anymore.

Yeah, I like the power. You really had influential power when you could get those views and people cared about what you said, until they don't care anymore.

Yeah, it is a problem that you push all the nice people away, and then all you're left with is horrible people.

So it's— whenever I make a video, it's always like

I'm not— I don't have the credibility to talk about the topic, or no one cares. So what do I have the credibility to talk about that people would care about? Basically nothing. That's why my videos aren't getting views.

Yeah, I used to have drama, like stuff going wrong in my life, and then I'd make a big exaggerated title like,

my viewer ruined my life, or my ex-wife did something something.

I can't really do that anymore.

It was always about the title

and the weird situation I was in.

Maybe bragging about getting a new car might trigger people because I'm broke. So why'd I get a new car?

But it's just one video, isn't it?

But I don't think I can stream on YouTube anymore.

All I get is like 50 viewers,

no donos.

Oh, what am I gonna have to do is actually get a job, otherwise I can't afford to live there,

and then stream in the evenings for fun.

I don't see any way else to make it work.

I make about $150 a week on Kick.

Maybe I can make 180 a week. It's like 700 a month.

I really can't even make 1,500 in total.

YouTube wasn't making enough money before Kick.

I was on the verge of having to move to Thailand.

I was seriously considering getting a Thailand visa,

but now Kick's gone and— well, Kick's not good enough anymore and YouTube's even worse since I left it.

I'm not saying I'm flying back to Thailand. I said before Kick, I was thinking about going to Thailand.

And then I got a lot of money from Kick and I felt like I'll just stay here. What?

Now how am I gonna afford the hotels? I can only see her once a month.

What?

Part-time job plus streaming.

I mean, about— if I do 7 hours streaming

I make about $40.

I have to come home from work at like 4 o'clock and then stream until 10 o'clock.

That's full-time though. Part-time would be like 9 to 12, wouldn't it? Like when I was doing every

What's he doing? Where's he gone?

He's disappeared, but I can hear him.

I

think he's around the back of the bed.

Why market not ripping?

I don't really have any trades today. I just had like a bunch of tiny little ones, made a couple pounds, lost a couple pounds.

I don't know if it's worth going short now.

I'm already all in long. I can't go any more long.

A short would only work if it breaks this trendline.

So I don't know how I'm gonna afford hotels and expenses now without Kick or YouTube.

I don't know how many in there.

Not rich anymore. Used to make 3-4K a month.

Now look, YouTube's in an even worse state than when I left it.

I'll try and do bee livery if it pops up.

But the most you make is like £20, £25. Maybe if you can do 2 of them, you make £50.

But you have to go out in the night and stop being fussy.

So the point of staying in the house is that

Affording it is hard. It's a challenge, isn't it?

To give up on the challenge and just move back in with my mum would make me feel very depressed

because I'd feel like I failed.

It is a challenge that you have to pass if you want to have a girlfriend, basically. If you don't mind being an incel and living with your mum,

then don't bother with the challenge.

But I like sex.

I rage quit the YouTube stream. 36 viewers, they can fuck off.

I don't see what buying hotel rooms has anything to do with what I just said.

How's a studio going to be better than a house?

Maybe it's like £150 cheaper. It's not going to be that much cheaper, like half the price.

No, you're all missing the point. Like, the whole point isn't like all this stuff, like, oh, the house and where she lives and this and that. None of that matters. There's only one thing that matters at the end of the day.

It's making money. The rest of it doesn't— it doesn't matter if I save £100 here or £100 there.

The only thing that matters is how much money can you make.

Saving a couple hundred here and a couple hundred there is not going to help enough.

It's not going to help enough to make a difference.

No,

I didn't make any trading today. I couldn't predict the movement well.

I thought it was going to bounce at Asia low. It then kept rejecting at Asia low

and it failed to rip.

I didn't lose anything because I haven't closed out the position.

The account size is down £300 since the morning, but my longs are still in place.

It counts at 1600.

Yeah, because I didn't lock in the gains from the NASDAQ increase, and then the NASDAQ just went back down again.

I mean, it's still up loads since the massive crash, which was when? Thursday.

It's just not as much up as much. Because I didn't lock in the gains.

I've been through so many, like, um, jobs this year. First started off doing only YouTube, which got me through the first few months, and then I got Evry plus YouTube, which got me through a few months, and then I lost Evry and I was back to only YouTube for a few months. And then I got Kick, and

then I was just doing Kick for a few months. Now Kick's not really viable, although it probably still pays better than YouTube.

So now I've got to do Kick plus YouTube and maybe a bit of delivery.

I think streaming on YouTube is a waste of time.

But I should still put out videos.

I'm thinking morning, focus on making a video, then lunch. Grab a bee livery if any pops up.

Then I gotta do a 7-hour stream. I gotta do 5 hours and then dinner and then a couple hours after dinner.

That way I make about £20 from the video, I make about £40 from the Kick stream,

and if I get a delivery I might get £30. That's like £70 a day. If I do that 25 days a month, that's £1,700. Plus some OnlyFans might get me 150. Hmm, I gotta structure my day very carefully.

So

say I can make $15 from a YouTube video plus $40 from 7HoursKick,

and then

it's only £40 a day, it's like £1,100 a month.

I really need to make £75 a day,

so I need to find a way to make an extra £30 a day.

It would be nice if I could make that from trading, but I can't.

What I really need to do with the CFD account is just close everything.

Any money above £1,000, I need to put it back into my bank account and then use £1,000 as a trading amount.

And then at the end of the month, if there's anything above £1,000, I withdraw it as profits. If it's below £1,000, then I've got to top it back up to £1,000.

I don't dislike doing OnlyFans, it's just

feels like a lot of work, and the cleanup afterwards

is a pain in the backside.

And then my legs always feel really achy afterwards, and it's kind of cold.

And you do have to be in like a weird mood, like a degen mood.

I need to

make £70 a day.

I wonder how long I'll be making $5.50 an hour on Kick, because that could drop again, couldn't it?

If she broke up with me, I would not go to anywhere.

You know, I've got a car that I just bought. Why would I buy a car and then go somewhere? That makes no sense.

I don't know, I'd probably get a job and then like, I don't know, try and focus on money.

I don't know why you guys keep thinking I want to go to Japan or Thailand.

Back home, 2 times your debt. Yeah,

the whole point of coming home after Thailand was because I was in debt because of the taxes, and I owed my mum 11,000. I was supposed to come home and get a job and grind the job to pay back the £11,000.

Uh, one year later,

I have double the debt now, no job,

and YouTube channel deader than it's ever been.

Prettier girls in Thailand, Vietnam? You must be joking.

Not my type at all.

Why use furry slippers outside? Why not?

It's got rubber soles, which is same as fully rubber slippers, but it's got fur on the outside.

Well, I wasn't planning to walk into the garden, but then my mum told me to come to the tree where she was cutting it down, so I just followed her. I was just— I just went outside to fit my dashcam in my car. I wasn't gonna walk around in the garden in them,

and I couldn't be bothered to change them.

Yeah, those are the slippers I wear when I put my rubbish out. I don't have outside slippers at my Devon house.

I always wear those ones when I take my rubbish out.

No, I don't walk in the house with the slippers on. I take the slippers off when I come into the house.

How's it, Twisted Logic?

This guy's a troll. You're banned. I just checked all his post history and it's all just rage baiting.

And then one of them, he's saying I'm a pedo, rapist, and a racist.

You're banned.

There's no such thing as no debt. You pay off debts, you just get back into more debt.

That's why I think the focus shouldn't be on saving money and paying off debts. It should be— the focus should be on making money. Because even if you give me $20K and I say thank you very much and I pay off all my debts, guess what's gonna happen? I'm just gonna get into all new debt.

I'll just get into debt again. Like, I paid off all the debt with my stock money,

uh, credit cards and stuff, and then I had the Kick money and I paid off the credit cards again, and then the debt just racked up again.

And it was fine when I was making a lot of money because I was able to keep it under control. Now I don't make a lot of money. I'm getting, I'm drowning in it.

That's why my focus is on making money.

I don't care if I can like save a little bit of money doing this and saving a little bit of money doing that.

I need to make money.

The new car didn't add to my debt, it added money to my, my balance. I got a £500 Electrobuzz card, I got £900 cashback for the Peugeot,

and I looked up some car insurance quotes and it's like £250 cheaper than my Peugeot, so it's gonna save me £250 a year.

Uh, I added that all the time. Before Kick days. These numbers have been on the screen since pre-Kick days, since like 2 years ago.

Yeah, the Peugeot was paid off. That's how I was able to sell it. Otherwise they wouldn't have been able to trade it in.

I never thought Kick money was gonna last forever. I've said multiple times I doubt this lasts more than a few months.

Anything else I have to correct you on?

Retard. Yeah, you're the retard who watches me all day every day and you can't get a single fact right. And I correct you like 100 times a day, so you must be retarded. Imagine watching me every day, all day, and you still don't even get the details right.

At least get the facts right.

Stop putting words in my mouth. I never said or thought once the Kick money is going to last forever.

I'm just wondering if it's possible to continue this lifestyle with— whilst avoiding getting a job.

Oh yeah, the Citroën is still linked to the money my mum lent me to buy the Peugeot, obviously.

I'm not dependent on my mum. I still live in the Devon house.

No, even without my mum, I'd still have the car. I got the car without her, remember? I got it on PCP. I was paying £200 a month,

and then she offered to pay for the car so I didn't have to pay the interest on it.

Otherwise I'd just owe my mum £8,000 while still paying £200 a month for the Peugeot.

Oh, you're talking about the Citroën. I thought you were talking about the Peugeot. Look, I got the Peugeot on PCP by myself.

And okay, yeah, true, I wouldn't be able to trade in the Peugeot if my mum hadn't lent me the money to buy it out.

Cheap petrol car, because petrol would end up costing thousands.

After a few years.

I'm not depending on my mum in any way right now.

In what way am I depending on her? I bought my Peugeot by myself on PCP.

That's not depending on her. So if someone goes to visit their parents for a few weeks, They're depending on their parents. Doesn't make any sense.

Yeah, without my mum, I wouldn't be in the world at all. Okay, you're just trolling, aren't you? Okay, you're banned.

I'm tired of talking to these idiots.

Yeah, I'm dependent on her for everything because without her, I wouldn't be in this world. What a stupid fucking idiot.

Makes no sense.

It's like saying, oh, you're dependent on her because if she didn't exist, then you wouldn't be here to see her because the house wouldn't

be under her control, be in someone else's name, and then you will be— yeah, okay, shut up, just making stupid points now.

I don't really care about saving £1,000 a month. I care about making thousands of pounds a month.

He's trying to ragebait me by saying dumb stuff.

I came to visit my mum for a week and he's like, oh, you depend on your mum. What? I'm going back to Devon next week.

No, he's just obviously trying to troll me. Okay, you're banned as well. You're trolling me.

Banned.

There's no point saving up money. Yeah, I could save up £10K and then move out and then lose it all in a few months.

If I don't have good income, it doesn't matter how much I save unless I save £1 million.

Having savings is good in an emergency,

but you can't live off savings.

Yeah, I could come back home and then save $20K.

And then if I moved out, it'll be all gone if I don't get a job quickly. I need to focus on making money. Saving money

isn't how you get out of the mess. Making more money is how you get out of the mess.

Wow, market ripping.

Yeah, I used the Wacom before, the rubbish cheap plastic scratchy laggy horrible

You connect it to a screen and then you draw, you draw down there whilst you look at the screen. It's really weird. It's not like an iPad where you draw directly on the screen.

Okay, look, another troll spotted.

You're a bandit.

Yeah, because it doesn't matter how much you save, if you don't have the income,

the savings are going to disappear very quickly, and then you're back to square one being in debt again. I'm not worried about saving, I'm worried about making money.

Oh, look, back at Asia low again.

I wonder if it's gonna rip now.

Like, because you guys keep going on about moving back in my mum— with my mum to save money, and I'm saying that's not gonna help.

What's my plan? My goal is to make £70 a day.

Okay, sharp then. Here's my plan. So I make a YouTube video in the morning and then I have lunch and then I stream 5 hours on Kick whilst trading stocks and then I have dinner and then I do 2 or 3 hours stream Kick after dinner.

That'll get me, let's say I can make 15 from the video and then 45 from the Kick stream.

Nah, more like

40. That means I've made £41. I need to make another £30.

So how can I make another £30? A day.

Either a delivery job like 1B Livery

or day trading, but you know, day trading is not really working out, is it?

The problem with my day trading is I lose all my gains the next day because I don't close all my positions.

Really? I mean, I should have done it this morning, but really, I want to close everything and start fresh at £1,000 and do day trading with strict rules. No holding overnight. No, no risking more than 2% of the account per trade. So if you've got a £1,000 account, you could only risk £20 per trade. No overtrading.

You need to do it properly.

Okay, Rando, you're banned.

Where are you people coming from?

Look at his post report. Let's make this guy broke again. Report every stream. I will report all 5 streams every day. I will make it my mission to report your livestreams every day. You are an imbecile.

Feels good to see you suffer. These people are sick. Actual sick fucks, these people.

The sad thing is this person is someone's son, someone's brother. Someone's maybe even boyfriend or dad, which would be even more pathetic.

And this is how he spends his time, writing juvenile hate comments on a livestream. I mean, a woman risked her life to bring you into this world, pushed you out of her vagina, suffered tremendous pain carried you in her womb for 9 months to bring you into the world, and this is how you are spending that time.

It's pathetic. You need to take a deep look inside and ask, who are you? Like, why are you doing this? What's wrong with you?

Like, a man spent a good part of his life looking for a partner to make a family with. Your mum

worked hard to pay the bills and create a home and everything to create you. And this is how you're spending that life that you were gifted by your parents. Fucking waste of space. They should have just nutted you onto a tissue. You're a fucking useless piece of shit. Get the fuck out of my life, chat. If you

were my son, I'd be ashamed. But geez, my son's on this guy's livestream harassing him, being a dick. What did I raise? What did I bring into this world? A horrible, hateful little shit is what I brought into this world. Would be worth thinking if I was your parents. Shame. Shame on you.

18 years of raising you, feeding you, sending you to school, and this is how you turn out? Fucking useless shit hating on someone's livestream comments.

Sick sack of shit. Fuck off.

Do you know how much time, effort, stress, financial stress, mental stress men and women go through to find a partner and then decide to have a kid and then go through the whole process and then pregnant for 9 months and then even risk the woman's life to give birth.

And the result is you fucking hater got nothing better to do in your life than Preying on the downfall of other people.

God, this is why I don't want to have kids.

Disgusting people.

All these disgusting people I've attracted to my live streams.

Oh, waste of spaces.

Anyway, what was I saying? Yeah, so I

should have done this morning, really. Didn't realize market was going to tank.

I can never make this day trade thing work if I just keep holding all these positions overnight

and don't lock anything in.

No, I don't play retro games.

Yeah, it's just another troll. Made his account October 14th. He probably made a load of accounts followed

to get around my follows only chat.

Probably made like, I don't know, 50 accounts followed. Yeah, there was that time I remember one stream I was just getting nonstop

follows. He probably has a bunch of accounts saved up,

all his, so that if one gets banned, you can just log into another one. These people are so sad. They got nothing better to do with their day.

30 OnlyFans subscribers

would be £300 a month. Would— wouldn't that only be $10 a day?

£30 is $40.

$40 a day.

I'd need another 120 OnlyFans members

a month or

crank out special member-only videos on OnlyFans.

Which I don't really want to do because you can't— like, if you do it too much, people get fed up. If you do it sparingly, they'll be like, okay, I'm not bothered if I have to pay an extra £30 since it's like every few months. But if I did it too much, I think they'd get fed up

and be like, why are we paying £10 a month whilst having to pay for the special videos?

I mean, maybe a few will because they got money, but I can't expect them to do it every day. That'd be insane.

If market could rip and then I sell all my longs, that'd be nice.

My mom keeps getting angry because I cough a lot.

She keeps like tutting and sighing when I cough,

or tells me to cough more quietly, as if I can control it.

Yeah, time to get out of here, I think.

Getting to that time where I gotta get out of here.

Spanish girl deleted her photo again. Why does she keep doing that?

Oh wait, oh no, she didn't.

Yeah, I thought she blocked me, but she didn't. She messaged me again.

Yeah, I think the vape is actually making my throat hurt.

If I can get the account back up to 2K, I take out— I put 1K back into stocks and shares ISA,

and then, um,

I need a fresh reset with this account.

It's just I don't want to sell my longs.

It's just not what you should be doing really, is this? What you should be doing with an investment account.

How can I make £30 a day day trading?

So if I want to target £30 profit, that means I can only risk £15.

Which means either I use a large size, I use a large amount of the portfolio account size per trade for a risky small movement, or I use a very small amount of the account Targeting a bigger, wider movement.

The problem is the bigger the movement is, the bigger the size of the trade needs to be.

To make anything.

What topics interest me? Trading, obviously.

It's all I watch on YouTube is trading stuff.

I've been watching these videos

about trading psychology. By Jesse Livermore. It's— I think it's like an AI voice. It must be AI voice. I think it's AI voice, his writings.

I find it very interesting.

He said the most important thing is, um,

the sizing of your trades,

like, uh, the trade size,

not to risk too much per trade and stuff like that.

That was kind of sad today because FX Evolution didn't post a video.

Yeah, I did all this back in March where I said stuff like— I wrote on my whiteboard like, I'll do maximum of 4 trades. If I win 2 out of 4 trades, I'll be profitable.

I don't remember how, but yeah, you gotta stick to the rules, otherwise it doesn't work. So you only take trades with 2:1 risk-reward.

Let's say you risk $5 to make $10. If you win all 4 trades, you make $40.

If you lose 2 trades you lose $10 but you win the other 2, then you make $20. So you still make profit of $10. So if you win 2 out of 4, you would make,

um,

$10 because you would make $20 and lost $10. If you win 3 out of 4, you make $30 minus $15, you'd make $15.

No, wait, no, wait, wait. If you win 3 out of 4, you make $30, but you lose $5, so you would have made $25.

But if you lost 3 out of 4, you lost $15 and made $10, so you only lost $5.

I mean, if you lose all 4 trades, then you lost $20.

It's so hard having the discipline though, because there's nothing to stop you just trading, trading, trading, moving the stop loss.

And then you should only trade during the kill zones, like London kill zone, US Open kill zone.

There's US AM and then there's US PM,

so really you only got 3 time zones.

London AM, US AM/PM.

This is so hard.

So with a £1,000 account size,

I wouldn't want to risk more than £20 per trade. So I want to make £40 per trade. So to make my $40 target, I would need to win If I won 2 out of 4, I'd make 80 but lose 40. No, wait, if I, if I win 2 out of 4, I'd make

80 and lose 40. Yeah, I'd make the 40. So I would need to win at least 2 out of 4 to make the 40. If I lose— if I win 1 out of the 4, I would make 40 but lose 60, so I'd lose 20 and then I'd be done. If I lose 4 out of 4, I

lose

80.

If I lose 3 out of the 4, because I won 140,

I'd only lose 20. Damn. Losing 80 versus losing 20 is quite a big step.

Sure, I need to win minimum 2 out of 4 to make the 40. Deleted the stream because I got mad. I only got 30 viewers. At least on Kick I got 200.

I've got 209 viewers. Don't know what you're talking about.

I'm not streaming. I'm not opening my mouth for only 30 viewers on YouTube. Fuck off.

No, I don't care about Japan anymore.

No, I'm not going to Japan. Stop asking me.

I was shocked at how rude so many people were in Japan last year and the year before.

I think the streaming definitely,

like, paints a target on my back because I never had any of these problems when I wasn't streaming.

Sometimes I see a video about Japan on YouTube and I click it, and I remember those days when I thought, you know, I like some aspects of Japan, like the mountains. It was this video about some town dying population. It was all like abandoned looking. It just looks so depressing.

Now everything just looks like how it used to look from the '70s or '80s, and it's all run down and rusted.

I stayed in a little Japanese town before in Kyushu Tiny little fishing village where I met this woman from Tinder and banged her in a hotel.

I walked around the village and it was so miserable. The only sign of life was this big pachinko building.

All the people of the village sitting in there addicted to little metal balls.

It's just, I don't know, like everywhere outside of the cities in Japan just has such a zombified, living dead kind of remnants of the olden days vibe. Just feels dead. Like everyone's old, everyone's probably just depressed thinking about how great things were in

the '70s when they were young and the economy was booming.

Japan has such melancholic vibes.

Everything just feels sad and old.

This makes me think at one point it would have been booming

with activity and construction and

And that's just like loads of little villages and towns full of old people sitting around waiting to die.

And then you've got these big soulless machine-like cities,

robot salarymen.

And all these skyscrapers going up that just look like miserable concrete glass steel boxes.

It just doesn't feel warm and inviting.

I haven't used Japanese in ages,

I didn't really use it last year. At least the year before, I used it a bit at the cat cafe, for example. I didn't really use it last year. I spoke English with Blood Bucket,

and I didn't really

Meet Japanese people. I did go on a few dates though where I used it. Yeah, I went on, I went on 3 dates last year in Japan. 2 Japanese women and 1 Vietnamese girl.

One of the Japanese women looked really old, like 50 years.

And she— her fashion was like really old woman looking, like hoop earrings, pearl necklace, padded shoulder jacket. Oh God, it's like I was on a date with my mum or something.

She wanted to meet again. She messaged me, asked if I want to meet again. I didn't want to meet again, so I just blew my shot and I said, yeah, we can meet again, but first Can I stay over your house? And then she blocks me.

I thought, well, either I'm going to bang or I'm going to get blocked. I don't really care. And then I went on a date with this other woman. She was like 30, mid-30s. She looked quite nice. She never messaged me again.

And then the Vietnamese girl. Oh, boring.

Yeah, Japanese was really bad. Couldn't speak English.

What time is it? 9 o'clock.

Maybe I'll go to bed.

Oh, I'll do another half hour to make $3.

Really need that $3, guys.

Trading is kind of like Chivalry 2. Like with Chivalry 2, you could just spam the button swinging wildly at anything, and maybe you get lucky and hit someone, but you'll just end up dying over and over and over again. And then you can play it more strategically, like keep back, jab at people,

don't overextend yourself. And yeah, when I, when I try and play the game properly and I don't just rush in swinging, I do a bit better.

So I'll be playing the game properly for a bit thinking, okay, this is going well, and And then I get bored and I'm like, fuck it, I'm just gonna rush in, swing in, and then I die over and over again. That's what trading is like. Like, you could do it properly for a bit

and be careful and look for setups and be patient, and then I don't know, you get in a funny mood. I'm bored, I'm going all in, fuck it. Then account wiped.

That's a problem, isn't it? It's easy to be disciplined a bit of the time, but to be disciplined all the time is another story.

I get bored.

But then you shouldn't be trading for entertainment, cuz then you're not going to win. Like, it shouldn't be fun or exciting, it be a job where the goal is to make a profit, not get excited.

Oh God,

it's so annoying when you're trying to sleep and you keep coughing.

I never rage quit a stream like that before. That was probably the first,

first time I did that.

Usually I just stick through it and wait, and then I get some donos. And then I feel like I'm glad I didn't rage quit.

I just— I can't stream if I'm just going to get 30 viewers.

I remember getting mad because I could only get 60 or 70 viewers in Thailand, and then I went to Japan and magically I was back at like 150 and I thought, for fuck's sake, all it takes is to get on a plane to Japan, walk around outside live,

and the fucking viewers come back.

So easy, yet so annoyingly hard when you don't want to go to Japan anymore.

But people really enjoy just watching me walk around Japan endlessly doing nothing. Yeah, in a way it's really simple, but then also really hard because I don't want to go to Japan.

And it's dangerous. One of these days I'll get beaten up for real.

I'm scared of doing it now, especially now Japanese people hate streamers thanks to people like Johnny Somali.

There's so much, so many viral videos of Like some nuisance streamer that has blown up in Japanese YouTube. The Japanese know about all this,

the youths.

I mean, there was one, remember the supermarket? He asked me if I was streaming. He was like, oh, can I say hi? And I was like, wow, someone who actually Like streamers.

Yeah, but I look kind of creepy and people think I'm like creeping with the camera. Like that gang of kids thought I was creeping on them because I look kind of shady because I'm nervous.

Account value's at 1690, nearly back at 1700. You know, I don't have like this outgoing, warm, friendly aura. I've got very negative aura because my lack of confidence.

I kind of got like creep vibes with my glasses and my emo hair.

I mean, if I was like a 6-foot-tall bald American man with a ginger beard and I was like, hey, what up, then no one would think I'm a creep.

Yeah, they do seem to think I'm Japanese as well, because they come at me with fluent Japanese thinking I'm gonna understand it. Which I do,

but they would— I mean, from especially from behind, I look Japanese because all you see is my hair.

And then still, even if you look at my face, it's kind of look kind of Japanese but kind of not.

Or worse, they think you're Chinese.

A lot of Japanese don't like Chinese or Korean people.

I just felt very on edge streaming outside, and then I got weirdos coming up to me or stalking me.

Yeah, I don't want to do that again. I don't want to walk around the streets endlessly like that again. I just don't want that to be my life.

I mean, it was fun back in 2018 and '19,

feeling like I'm a famous YouTuber and everything, but I just want a quiet life now.

I mean, I, I gave it my best shot.

I tried to be a big YouTuber.

It didn't work out.

No, I wanted— I had the hunger. I wanted to be big. Get hundreds of thousands of subs and be recognized. It was my dream. I wanted to be a YouTuber.

Now I just want to live in peace and make money.

Cough medicine doesn't do anything.

No, I didn't. I never saw Hong Kong guy as a friend.

Closest friend I ever had would be my actual friends from school.

Since I left school, I never had proper friends. Sure, I met people at guesthouses and hung out with them whilst they were there, but they leave and I left and we never talked again. I tried to keep in contact with the gay guy and that other British guy who said, let's meet up in Tokyo, and then he

blew me off.

The day before we were supposed to meet, he just messaged me saying, oh, I got a cold, I'm sick.

He definitely found out something about me and then got the ick.

And I don't know why the gay guy The gay guy was like, oh, I've only got this one evening free.

I should have said, I'll let you suck me off again, and maybe he'll change his plans.

I think what I did was kind of dickish though. I basically

accused him of sexual assault and put his face in the video. Holy shit, I was surprised he didn't tell me to take the video down.

I mean, he did kind of sexually assault me though.

He kept putting his hands down my trousers and I was obviously not happy with it. I put my arm across my stomach like that to stop his hand going down my trousers, but he kept like snaking around.

I kept like trying to stop him from putting his hand down my trousers,

and then he gave up.

He gave up and he said, okay, do you want to just talk? So I said okay, because, you know, I was feeling very depressed and lonely at the time. Yeah, I wanted to just hang out and talk. So he said, okay, let's just talk and hang out. And then we went to the park and then he did

it again. Started putting his hands down my trousers. So I just gave up and let him do it. And then he starts sucking me off. And I was like, okay, guess this is happening.

But he didn't apologize until years later when he realized I made a video about it. Because this thing happened in 2016. He didn't message me until last year. That's like 8 years later.

Well, too late. 80,000 people already saw the video.

I mean, I'm not mad at him.

I'm not angry.

It's just a weird experience, that's all.

Would I let him do it again?

I didn't let him do it the first time. Who says I let him do it in the first place? Would I not let him do it again?

No, I didn't enjoy it. It was weird. I mean, it felt good because at the end of the day, your dick's in her mouth and the dick is designed to feel good inside of a wet hole. So yeah, it felt good, but also weird.

He didn't force you? Well, I mean, true, he didn't like physically grab me.

And maybe my attempts to stop him didn't really seem that serious, like I was just playing.

I mean, if I was really upset, I should have just got— I mean, nothing was stopping me to just get up and go. But I didn't get up and leave, did I?

Later he said he wasn't sure if I was gay or bi,

and I thought, how the hell

would you think I'm gay?

I guess a lot of people think I'm gay. Or at least bi.

Yeah, I knew he was gay.

Because he told everyone he's gay.

God, such a long

time ago now.

10, 15 years ago. All that guesthouse stuff

used to be my whole life.

Going to a guesthouse, making friends, looking for a girl.

Late nights going to the konbini, getting beers, hanging outside the guesthouse drinking and smoking.

The Japanese people always seem so excited

talking to foreigners.

They're always like, oh, I want to go to New York, I want to go to England,

I'm learning English.

But I mean, it'd be so sad if I carried on living like that, going to guest houses.

I felt that way last year when I was at that guest house. I went down to the dining room. It was so awkward.

No one talked. There was that Malaysian girl, a Japanese woman, and then a couple European girls studying Japanese, and it was like dead silent.

The Malaysian girl gave me one of those pineapple cakes.

And I sat there eating my bento thinking, my God, this is shit.

These people have no idea how good it was back in my day.

You people, if I could bring you back in time and show you what it was like back in the 2010s,

It was like a party every night.

Living room booming with people chatting, music, dancing, food. Every night was like a party. No smartphones.

And then you look at the state of guest houses now, it's just so sad and depressing.

I had the best days of my life. In these guest houses.

I got there just in time to experience and enjoy the end of the pre-smartphone era.

I think by the time it was like 2014, '15, those days were over.

Well, I'm gonna go to bed. Half 9. Gotta get rested up. Bye-bye.