I SLEPT WITH A GIRL -D

Testing,

testing. Hello.

Testing.

Testing.

Oh, oh, it sounds pretty good.

Wow, first stream using my Blue Yeti. In

ages. Last time I used my Blue Yeti must

have been over a year ago now.

Been a while since I last streamed. Set up

a new streaming setup whilst I was away.

Look, we've got camera 1, camera 2,

camera 3,

And toilet scene for when I

need to relieve myself. Uh, I quite like

this one. Uh, this one's quite nice too,

a bit low quality though.

And this was a traditional camera that I

did many streams with, including my

ex-wife Mina and my sister.

This is the classic camera that I've

done a lot of my famous streams on.

I don't like my hair today, I can't get it

to stay up. I need to get— maybe I should

get hair wax.

There, that's better. Multi-camera studio

setup with professional studio mic.

I'm like a professional streamer now. Why

so many cameras? Well, this one is the new

one I got in Manchester, and then this one

was the original one I had here that I

didn't bring with me to Manchester, which

I should have. And this one's just the

built-in laptop camera.

I've also got a 4th camera here that

points out the window, but There's nothing

to see out the window, it's just black. I

don't think I'll set up the outside cam,

otherwise someone might just try to do

something weird, like dropping their

girlfriend off at my house at night. You

can't see anything because it's dark

outside. We have lots of things to discuss

in today's show. I finally got laid.

Um, my new video is blowing up and I'm

financially successful again, so I think I

deserve Cuban finest.

And for some reason this lighting makes my

teeth look really white. Wow, I can't

remember the last time my teeth looked so

white. Maybe I

should get my teeth whitened. It made me

look so much younger.

Okay, so what do you want to hear about

first? You can pick.

You look young already. Um, I guess

kind of, but my teeth are getting a bit

brown and yellow even

though I brush twice a day.

So last weekend I went to stay at this

girl's house on Friday.

I feel really— I feel kind of strange

because my whole life I've been

desperately flying around the world to get

action. And then this is the first time

where I just got some action down the

road. It was really not weird, but it

was like a nice experience, I guess.

Just like a typical English lady, 30 years

old, single mother.

Um, yeah, I don't really know what else to

say without being rude because I'm a bit

worried she might find out about my

channel because I told her my name, my

last name. And then she was saying

something like she has a friend who always

likes to do background checks on any guy

she meets. And I was like, imagine doing

background checks. Why don't you just

trust the person you're with? As if I

would do that.

Whilst I was getting very nervous,

because imagine if she did a background

check of me whilst I was there, because

all you have to do is search Daniel Lord

in Google, then all this stuff about me

comes up, like how I cheated and how I did

this and said that. So how it ended

was basically I ghosted her because I

didn't really know what else to She sent

me two messages on WhatsApp. I didn't

check them. Then she phoned me twice. I

didn't answer it. And then I went on

Tinder, and she's not on there anymore.

So she obviously unmatched me. So yeah,

I managed to get out of it pretty easily

without any damage yet.

Hopefully there's no damage. You know,

the most tricky thing about this is is

being able to. Go in and then pull

out whilst causing minimal damage.

I haven't really inflicted any damage on

myself yet from this experience.

Hopefully she's not vindictive

and she doesn't find out about what I say,

so I'm not going to say anything rude.

Hopefully.

She had a nice house. I mean, it was kind

of small, but it was decent. Had a living

room, small kitchen, 2 bedrooms,

bathroom, and it was only about £800 a

month. So it's cheaper than the place I

was paying for in Manchester. So if I ever

want to get my own place again, I might

just look to the towns around my house

because they're quite nice, and the

neighborhood was quiet and peaceful.

Oh, is that too loud? Thanks for being a

member.

So we did it about 4 times.

I don't want to get into it too

graphically straight away because I might

get demonetized, so we'll keep things

clean for the first half hour. Let me

check. Yeah, we're still monetized.

That's good, it's good. I'll keep things

PG until a couple hours in, then I'll

spill the juicy beans.

I don't know about this camera, it keeps

flickering because when I plug the webcam

directly into the laptop instead of into

the USB hub, it's like not enough power

is being sent to it. Through the hub, it

might do like a flickering glitch thing.

I bet it's not going to do it now that I

mentioned it.

Your skin is cleared out. Yeah, it's a bit

better. I still got a few above my lip.

But they're kind of small ones compared to

the big ones I was getting.

But my skin usually gets a bit better when

I come home, and then I get stressed out,

and then it starts getting worse again.

It's a never-ending cycle.

Drop the skincare routine. Well, I stream

at very low quality, 900 bitrate.

Never go above 720p. That's my secret.

You need more water. The problem is the

water in my house tastes so bad. It tastes

weird, like it tastes salty and chalky.

I used to drink the water out the fridge.

Because there used to be like a tap that

makes water come out, but it doesn't work

anymore. So now I got to drink the tap

water. It tastes horrible, and then it

keeps making me need to go to the toilet.

I hate having to get up every half hour to

go to the toilet to have a pee.

I also stopped washing my face using

creams and products, and I stopped

using moisturizer as well, and I noticed

it has made no difference. I used to use

like an exfoliating scrub and a face wash,

and then I put on moisturizer to

moisturize it,

but I've stopped doing that for months and

it's honestly made no difference. It's not

like my face got worse. Since I stopped,

honestly, just stop washing your face. It

didn't make things. I actually think all

those products probably made my skin worse

instead of better, and using exfoliator

and stuff—it's just waste of time,

really. I don't think it's necessary

because skin is naturally designed to

constantly have dead skin cells

on it and then flake and then regrow.

If you really needed exfoliator, your body

would have made some kind of natural

exfoliating mechanism.

It's fine, it just flakes off and turns

into dust, and then you can scratch your

nose and maybe scrape some off and eat it.

Not that I do that, that's disgusting.

Thoughts on Russia? I've been watching the

news all day. It's the best drama ever.

Isn't it so interesting? It's like Game of

Thrones, but real life. I'm just glued to

the news all day seeing what's going to

happen. Plus watching the stock market go

up and down. I made so much money today

day trading. I made

a 25% gain just doing

scalping on the S&P 500. I'm starting

to get good at it, I think. Now I need to

grow that £120 back into £2,500 where it

started. I started my day trading account

at £2,500. It's at £120 now, but it was at

£96 at the beginning of today, so I did

quite well. Pretty tomorrow I'm gonna lose

Show us live the screen. Show us live the

screen of your earnings of your last

video. What, the Horizon? Who wants to

talk about my new smash hit? Do not buy

Horizon Forbidden Dawn. Do not

buy Horizon new Dawn

or some— whatever the hell it's called.

Forbidden Horizon: Rage

of Shadows, not up to my standards.

As an avid fan of the Horizon fans— I mean

games— I was severely disappointed with

that lackluster attempt at creating a Tomb

Raider wannabe. Sony should be ashamed.

I hang my hat in shame.

I made like $200 off that video.

I'm so happy that I found a way to get

views without needing girls, without

needing to be married, without having to

clickbait drama. It means we get to lose

all of those toxic hate watchers that we

used to hate so much. It's just us left

now, the good guys. All those toxic,

horrible people who only watch me for

trainwreck drama, they all effed off,

didn't they? And I don't need them

anymore. I don't need them because I know

how to clickbait the gaming community.

I got 64,000 views on my new video,

and I got 89,000 views on my Pokémon

video. Jesus Christ. I can't believe it's

so easy to get views. I feel so stupid

that I literally ruined my life and my

married life, and I lost my spouse visa,

and I made myself look like a fool for

cheating and all that stuff just so I

could get 40-50k views when all I had to

do was make a title called Do Not Buy

Insert Popular Video Game and it'll get

like 60-100k views. Why didn't anyone tell

Why did no one say that to me? Daniel,

why don't you make negative videos about

popular trending things and have, have a

controversial opinion?

For some reason, I just never thought of

it before. I kept thinking people would

never watch me talk about games. And yeah,

my old audience would not talk— would not

listen to me talk about games. But I could

have tapped into a much bigger audience

because the gaming community is huge.

It's like millions and billions of people.

So yeah, now I'm just— I'm done with

drama. I'm done with ex-wife content.

My wife this, my wife that. I'm done with

whining about not getting a girlfriend for

content because obviously that's not

working anymore either. I didn't even get

10K views on my one about not finding a

girlfriend in Scotland. Even the drama

between me and the Scottish girl that I

livestreamed didn't even get 10K views.

So I'm just thinking it's not worth it,

all this stupid drama that's— half of it's

not even real anyway. I don't have any

real drama because I can't get a

girlfriend. So yeah, I'm just kind of

happy that I can move on now onto a

different kind of topic. A bit sad that—

because it feels different, you know,

it feels a bit different to when I had a

dedicated audience including hate

watchers. Now it's just like people just

click on it once or twice from different

gaming communities, but I gotta do what I

gotta do to pay the bills and stuff.

Is the title not real? No, that's real. I

went on a date. Well, it wasn't really a

date. I went straight to her place. It was

on Friday. I don't know if you know about

England right now, but we're having all of

these storms. We had 2 storms already,

and on Friday it was in the middle of this

massive storm called Storm Eunice,

Eunice, and we had a power cut

and all the lights went off, and I wasn't

sure if I was gonna go. But I ended up

going anyway, and I left my mum here all

alone in the dark. And I went to the

petrol station, which felt really

nostalgic. It's been 5 years since

I last went down that path and walked up

that road towards the petrol station. It

felt kind of weird. It reminded me of the

days when I used to vlog on the way to

work, and it would just be me in the dark,

and you could see like a little light from

my phone. I don't know if anyone remembers

that. And then she was waiting

by the petrol station in her car. I got in

the car. That sounds kind of crazy,

I guess, because she could have kidnapped

me or anything. I thought it was a bit

dangerous maybe, but I felt like she was

legitimate. So I got in the car. It was

about 6 PM, really dark. And then she

drove me to her house. And then we went

straight to the bedroom pretty much and

did it a few times. Bit embarrassing. I

lost my erection the first time.

I lost my erection. It just wouldn't come

back. So I had to start talking to her

because the only way to cover up the

embarrassment of losing my erection was to

start talking. What else are you going to

do? Sit there in silence? Trying to summon

it back into life. So I just started

asking her loads of questions, got her to

talk, and then I started getting bored of

talking. Then finally the erection came

back and we managed to finish

things. And then we did— then we watched

Boba Fett on Disney Plus, which I quite

enjoyed. So I ended up getting myself

Disney Plus. I watched sort of Boba Fett.

I'm starting to watch Mandalorian now.

It's okay, I guess. It's not

bad. It's slightly better than the Disney

movies, but it's still pretty stupid,

really. I mean, the whole Baby Yoda thing

is just complete garbage. You can just

tell they're trying to make it really cute

so everyone goes, oh, it's Baby Yoda, oh,

he's so cute. I know what they're doing,

trying to emotionally manipulate me. Into

finding it cute. I don't find Baby Yoda

cute. I think he looks stupid. It's

obviously a puppet. Its movements are

really weird. He doesn't do anything apart

from act cute. And I thought it was

actually Yoda in the beginning. I thought

Mandalorian took place like 900 years ago,

but apparently it just takes place after

Return of the Jedi. And the Mandalorian is

such a boring character. You never see his

face. He's got such a boring sounding

voice. Like, he's got a stereotypical

American male Google Translate kind of

voice, and he's got no personality.

He's such a dull character. They all look

like Halo Spartans or the Mandalorians

with their helmets.

So far, I'm not really impressed with

Mandalorian. And then the last episode I

saw, he meets up with some white woman And

then they go to a village to save the

villagers from these random barbarian

people who are attacking the village. And

I was just thinking the whole time, am I

supposed to care? I don't know who these

villagers are. I don't care if they

survive or not. Why are they in this

random village in the middle of nowhere

fighting these random raiders? Who the

hell are they? Couldn't care less. It was

just so dumb. And they were training the

villagers to fight with wooden stakes,

and they were fighting like these big

muscular orc-looking men with their wooden

stakes, even though they had never had any

combat experience ever before. They

managed to take them all down with their

wooden sticks. So dumb.

But I guess I'll watch it because I don't

have anything else to watch, and I kind

of— I'm just watching it because I like

Star Wars. Basically. And then Boba Fett

started off okay. I like the way the first

episode is him coming out of the Sarlacc

pit, and then I remembered, oh yeah, at

the end of Return of the Jedi, or in the

beginning of it, he gets kicked into it,

doesn't he, by Luke? I forgot about that.

It's interesting how they started it, but

then it just got boring. He just ends up

sitting around on Tatooine the whole time

replacing Jabba the Hutt. And then he ends

up getting surrounded by these stupid

sidekick characters, like a bunch of kids

who ride these multicolored moped scooter

things. So lame and cheesy. And there's

that middle-aged woman who works at the

junkyard shipyard place,

constantly trying to be funny. It's so

lame.

I hate it when TV shows do that. They

establish the main character, they find

his home or home base, they place him

there, and then he has to like build up

his reputation and connections with the

locals whilst also dealing with hostile

people. And then he has to like gather a

friendship group of advisors and stuff,

and then he grows stronger and more

powerful. I've seen that happen so many

times in different shows. They're so lame.

Can't he just get on his ship and go fly

back to the Empire? Oh yeah, the Empire

got destroyed. Well, can't he get back on

his ship and fly somewhere and do

something interesting? He just stays in

this stupid Jabba the Hutt palace the

I might make a video about Why it sucks.

Do not watch Boba Fett and Mandalorian.

Very disappointing. As an avid fan of the

Star Wars franchise and sci-fi shows in

general, I just had to watch it.

Unfortunately, it was severely

disappointing and extremely lackluster.

Enough about Star Wars, we want details

about the yummy mummy. So we end—

after the first time we did it, we ended

up just watching Boba Fett for a few hours

because I didn't know what else to do. I

quickly said, shall we watch something?

Otherwise it would just be sitting there

in awkward silence. So I quickly suggested

we watch something. We ended up

binge-watching about 5 episodes of Boba

Fett, and then she made me a sandwich at

10, and then we went to bed around 11. I

was just waiting for the time to go

because I really wanted to go home, to be

honest, but I already said I would stay

the night. God, I hate that when you get

yourself in that situation and you can't

really get out of it. I mean, I guess, I

guess I could have just said, sorry, but

I'm not feeling good, I'm gonna go home.

But it would have been so awkward, and

then I would have to get her to drive me

back home again, which would have been

really awkward. None of the trains were

going because the storm was in full power

and all the train lines were cancelled.

So I ended up staying the night and we

woke up, did it again. We did it again in

the middle of the night and then again in

the morning. She made me coffee.

Coffee. The morning was kind of awkward as

well.

I said I had to go to work at 2 p.m.,

so I'm going to leave at 12. And she took

me home around half 11 to 12.

So I managed to get out of it quite

easily. Oh, never again.

It's so awkward. I don't

know if it's worth it just, just, just to

get some action a couple times. You have

to put yourself through so much

Her kid wasn't there. The father who was

looking after the kid that weekend. I said

I worked at the petrol station,

which gave me a good excuse to get out of

it. You know, one good thing about having

a job is the way you can just say, oh,

I've got work, I can't stay late, I gotta

wake up tomorrow. Gives you a good— if I

said I had no job, then I don't know what

kind of excuse I would make to be able to

get out of the situation.

Was she white? Yeah, she's white,

British. She reminded me of my boss at the

petrol station, actually, like a young

version. Very chatty English

girl, which was good because if she was

quiet— I hate it when I meet quiet girls.

Because I'm quiet and then the

conversation never goes anywhere and it's

just like weird awkward silence when I

meet quiet girls.

So now I usually say when people ask me

what I do for a living, I'll say I do some

Japanese translation work and I do a bit

of investing. And then if I feel

confident, I might whip out the, oh, I do

night shifts at the petrol station too.

Why didn't you like Mila's loudness? It's

not that I like loudness. I like it when

they're chatty, not loud.

I like it when they talk a lot.

I like it when I ask them a question and

then they'll talk and talk for ages.

It means I don't really have to put much

effort into talking because they'll do

most of the work. All I have to do is kind

of pay attention to what they're saying,

prepare my next question, and then I can

just like zone out whilst they're talking.

Make sure to keep an eye on this, on the

sentences she's saying. So when I know

she's coming to an end of her dialogue,

her monologue, I got my next question

prepared. You talk

a lot. I talk a lot by myself. I don't

talk to people very much. It's pretty

hard to get me to talk if you're going to

have a conversation with me, unless you

ask me about things I'm actually

interested in, which no one ever does.

And no one ever asks me things about

things I'm interested in.

I've started to realize that talking is

the most difficult thing when it comes to

dating. I actually just unmatched one

girl because she was pissing me off on

Bumble. Because she kept going on about

the talking thing. I said to her, I was

trying to be open and say to her that I'm

not— I'm a bit shy and I'm not great at

conversation. And then she kept saying

stuff like, maybe you should practice

with your friends. Maybe you should find a

girl who's introverted and quiet too. And

I said, maybe you should shut the fuck up,

idiot. And then I unmatched her. Telling

me to get a quiet, introverted girlfriend.

As if that's what I want. As if she thinks

I just want to sit there in silence. I

don't want to sit there in silence. I find

the silence awkward. In the car drive— on

the car drive back home, she wasn't very

talkative. She didn't really say much, so

I tried to fill the silence by asking her

questions because I felt

a bit uncomfortable with how quiet it was.

I don't really want to— I don't really

want to date someone who's really quiet

and never asks me stuff.

You called her an idiot? Yeah, well, she—

first of all, she matched me and I asked

about meeting up and she said, yeah, we

could meet up in London. And then she

asked me what I was looking for on the

app. I said, I'm looking for a girlfriend.

And then she says she's not looking for a

relationship or a boyfriend. But we could

meet as friends and see how it goes. I was

gonna say, then why the hell are you on a

dating app if you're not looking to date?

It's a dating app. Why are people on

dating apps? They don't want a

relationship. Get the fuck off the dating

app then. I thought maybe I could

give it a try since she said she's open.

Yeah, and she's also interested in Japan.

I thought maybe I could go to London and

meet her, but then she really pissed me

off with the stuff she was saying. She was

saying stuff like, for girls, it's really

important that the guy can make her laugh.

So I said, yeah, I noticed that, so I

started to study comedians.

And she wasn't really impressed with that.

I thought that was funny, to be honest.

And then she was like, maybe you should

practice with your friends. I said, I've

been practicing for 20 years. It doesn't

make any difference. So you can practice

to fly every day, you're not going to be

able to fly, are you? If you're bad at

conversation, there's only so much you can

practice. You're still gonna suck at it.

Name one person who really sucks at

conversation and managed to become like

Russell Brand levels of conversation

epicness just from practicing.

You're either born with it or you're not.

Some people just aren't very good at

talking or conversation.

And then she really annoyed me when she

said I should get a quiet girlfriend,

which means that she's not interested in

being my girlfriend if she's telling me to

go and get a girlfriend who's like XXX.

When a girl says that to you, it just— it

really annoys me. And really turns me off.

Why are you telling me maybe you should

get this kind of— well, I'm interested in

you. So if you're not interested in being

my girlfriend, then it's just a waste of

time talking to you, is it? Isn't it?

The whole talking thing and being funny is

really triggering me recently. Because I

suck at it. I'm so bad at making

conversation, and the fact that women find

that so important is triggering my

insecurities quite a lot. It's bad enough

that I'm not rich and I don't make loads

of money. Women want 2 things: either want

like some guy who's really good at making

money, or a guy who's really good at

conversation and making them laugh. I

can't do any of those. I'm bad at both

things, so what

do I have to offer? Making me very

insecure.

So I get very triggered when women are

like, I love a man who's funny. It makes

me laugh. If you want to laugh, don't

watch Jimmy Carr. Put on a

comedy show then. I hate this pressure of

having to make the girl laugh.

I never had any of this problem in Japan

where girls expected the guy to make them

laugh. I think in

general Japanese guys are not very good at

it either, you know, being funny and full

of banter. So in Japan, the women there

don't really expect it or think

that they're entitled to being made to

laugh. But here in England, every bloody

girl's like, oh, I want my guy to make me

laugh. Should bring a feather with me,

tickle her maybe.

I don't know how to make girls laugh.

How the hell do you make girls laugh? Am I

supposed to make fun of them? Do I troll

them? Do I prepare some knock-knock jokes?

Tell them about the time I got a sex doll

and cheated on my wife? That's pretty

funny. I thought it was funny.

So I don't really know how to approach

this, problem. How when

I'm speaking in Japanese, I can kind of

COVID up the fact that I suck at talking

and I'm not good at keeping a conversation

going. And the only people I met in real

life where I enjoyed talking to them were

people who carried the conversation, like

George. Apart from George,

all the other people I met in real life,

I found I felt really bored. Talking to

them. I just felt like I was falling

asleep. And that's probably what women

feel like when they meet me. And I'm

supposed to be like George. I'm supposed

to be carrying the conversation because

I'm the guy. That's what they want.

And I do realize that I just— I suck so

much at that. I can't do it.

You want to be the woman of the

relationship? Yes. Finally, someone gets

it. I did— I lasted so long with the

Korean girlfriend because she mothered me

and she looked after me, and she wasn't

like this baby princess who needed me to

look after her. She was like a confident,

independent woman,

and I didn't really have to impress her

with my conversational skills.

So much easier.

And she says you have to practice with

your male friends. But the things

I talk about with male friends, she

wouldn't be interested in. What would I

talk to her about male friends with?

Probably whining about women most of the

time, and then video games and political

things and war.

What male friends? Yeah, exactly. I wasn't

going to tell her I've got no male

friends. The only— the closest thing I

have to friends would be my Discord

server,

which is— wait,

how do

I join my Discord server? I need more

friends. I need more allies.

Do you like my new keyboard? No one

mentioned my new keyboard.

Look, isn't it fancy and red? I got the

mechanical 60% gaming keyboard,

£75. I also got this new external 1TB SSD,

which is so small. Look at it.

Look at the size of this. Can you see

that? It's like the size of a credit card.

I'm gonna sound really old here, but when

I think of hard drives, this is what I

Look, this is a hard drive. This massive

brick.

250 GB Seagate. Disc spinning hard

drive back from the early 2010s. These

days the hard drive's so tiny,

I can't believe how small things are

getting. So I bought that hard drive— I

mean, that SSD external hard drive— for

£100 because I want to get more into

gaming and I've only got 200 gigabytes on

my laptop. It's really annoying having to

delete games every time. I want to install

a different game. So I've got a whole

terabyte now of free space, and it's

really small. I can bring it next time I

go traveling as well. Stop wasting

money. It's not a waste. I'm a

professional games journalist now. I need

hard drive. I need storage space so I can

download the games without having to

delete the games I actually enjoy playing.

Oh, what? I got demonetized!

What?

My livestream got demonetized! For fuck's

sake!

That's never happened before. Seriously,

putting a title, I slept with a girl,

makes the livestream demonetized?

Oh my god, fucking hate you,

fucking YouTube. I'm gonna have to restart

the stream with a new title.

Oh, now I've just lost 40 minutes.

I streamed 40 minutes for no ad revenue.

Really? Was it because I swore?

Fucking stupid fucking YouTube.

Fucking demonetized because you put slept

with a girl in the fucking title. Oh my

fucking God. Oh, I hate

my fucking job sometimes.

Okay, I'm gonna have to end the stream,

create a new one with a new title,

so make sure you join the new stream.

Oh my God.