why i HATE Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 3

Hello, welcome back to a new video. So

recently I watched the brand new Guardians

of the Galaxy Vol. 3, and as an avid

fan of Guardians of the Galaxy and Marvel

movies in general, I knew I just had to

watch this movie. Unfortunately, so far

it's been kind of bland, boring,

uninspiring, and also a bit lacking in

luster. I just feel like the whole movie

was a complete mess from the beginning

until the end. The story didn't really

make any sense and they were full of plot

holes. So the basic concept of the story

is that the raccoon called Rocket gets

injured, and basically it's like his

origin story. So the entire movie revolves

around showing flashbacks of his childhood

when he was born and when he was young,

and then switching to current scenes of

the team, the Guardians, trying to rescue

him and fight the bad guy. So the bad guy

is a complete joke of a villain. He's this

black guy who is called the High

Evolutionary, and his thing is he evolves

things and creates creatures, and he's

super powerful, and people fear him

because for some reason he's able to

control gravity. So he has the power to

fling people around and crush them using

the power of gravity. It's kind of a lame

power. It's very unoriginal and not very

creative. And the guy is just a complete

moron. He's supposed to be like this

genius that knows how to evolve creatures

and create the perfect beings, but he just

screams like a lunatic when he gets mad

and just has like tantrum rages like a

complete child all of the time. So the

movie starts off in the home base of the

Guardians, and this guy flying through

space— I forgot his name, something like

the Warlock— But he looks like this derpy

version of Ron Weasley from Harry Potter,

and he's got golden skin, and he just

flies through space. And his mission is to

retrieve the raccoon called Rocket to

bring him back to the black guy, the main

villain, the High Evolutionary. So he

smashes through the window and injures

Rocket, and then he has a fight one-on-one

versus all of the Guardians, completely

destroys the entire crew until the end

when he gets stabbed in the back by— I

think her name's Nebula. So it's kind of

like an exhibition of all of the crew's

powers. So if you're not familiar with the

movies, you get a taste to see what each

of the Guardians are able to do

ability-wise. And it's just kind of funny

because each of them do have unique

abilities and have some kind of special

power, apart from Chris Pratt, who is the

leader of the Guardians. He doesn't seem

to be able to do anything apart from roll

around and shoot his pistols. So they

temporarily beat back the derpy-looking

Ron Weasley character and he flies away,

but this kind of sets up the whole story.

Now that Rocket is injured, they need to

find out how to heal him, and then they

start doing all these flashbacks of

Rocket's childhood, how he was created,

his sad past with his friends in the cage

and how he lost them and how he needs to

get revenge. I can see what they're trying

to do. They're trying to make me feel all

sad and sympathetic for Rocket. Oh look,

he lost all his friends. Oh look, he had a

tough childhood. We're rooting for you.

Please, Guardians, help him. I am not so

easily emotionally manipulated, thank you

very much. They also show how evil and bad

the High Evolutionary is because he's

using these poor innocent creatures to try

and create them into these perfect beings

for his new utopia world. So the first

main action scene is they leave on the

spaceship and they arrive at this kind of

biologically living organism which is also

a space station, which is kind of a weird

dumb idea. So they infiltrate the space

station by cutting a hole into its flesh

and then just squeezing through a hole,

and for some reason the security systems

doesn't seem to detect this and they

managed to sneak in. The security team on

board of this organism have the dumbest

looking armor I've ever seen. They have

like this light brown, really bulky,

puffy looking marshmallow sort of armor,

and it looks so stupid. I don't know who

designed this, but they need to be fired.

All of the security team on this organism

look like big fat Teletubbies or that

Michelin Man tire mascot thing. They look

so ridiculous. So they need to find this

special ball thing which contains

information about Rocket and how to heal

him. So they just go around shooting

everyone, and then Chris Pratt and that

green-skinned Gamora character who used to

be his girlfriend in the previous movies,

but now I'm pretty sure she died in like

the first movie, but for some reason she's

back. But this time she doesn't remember

anything, she's like a different person.

She and Chris Pratt are constantly

bickering because Chris is like, oh,

boohoo, we used to be in love, now you

don't remember me? And then she's like,

oh, I don't care. So then they start

arguing about killing people. Gamora wants

to go in guns blazing and just shoot

everyone, but Chris keeps saying, no, we

don't do that, we are Guardians. We don't

kill anyone, but then later on in the

movie Chris just easily murders a load of

henchmen without thinking twice about it.

So they grab the special ball thing to

save Rocket and they cause a load of

chaos, shoot a load of people, blow up the

whole place, and then fly out. They plug

in the special ball thing thinking with

this they can save Rocket, but oh no,

some of the code has been deleted and they

can't save Rocket. And it turns out one of

the fat guys with a special metal thing on

his head probably has the code that they

need stored inside of it. So they go to

this special utopia world which is called

the Counter-Earth, which is like a replica

version of Earth which is created by the

black guy, the high-evolving guy. I forgot

his name. Evolutionary. So they go to him

to find the fat guy with the metal thing

on his head to find the passcode to save

Rocket. And on this planet, the

Counter-Earth, it looks like Earth and

it's inhabited by a load of human-like

animal creatures which have been created

by the black guy. And it just looks so

ridiculous. It's like they've landed on

Sesame Street. They've got all of these

human-like things with really dumb-looking

pig heads and bird heads. They all just

look so stupid and ridiculous, you can't

take it seriously at all. So the plan to

find the fat guy with the metal thingy on

his head is to basically walk into the

main headquarters of the main villain,

the black guy, and just shoot everyone.

Chris Pratt takes Groot and Nebula to the

headquarters place and leaves the rest

behind, and Gamora is on the ship alone,

which is kind of weird because why would

they leave Gamora on the ship alone when

and she obviously doesn't want to be

there, and she doesn't really seem like

she's very cooperative, and she doesn't

even know how to fly the ship. Chris Pratt

arrives at the headquarters, and they just

do like a simple security check. They

don't let Nebula in because her whole body

is a weapon. They do a security check to

make sure they're not carrying any

weapons, and then they let them in, and

they have a small quick chat with the High

Evolutionary. And then conveniently, the

High Evolutionary just walks off to go and

do some errands. Maybe he went to the

toilet. And then during the 5 minutes that

he walks off, Groot suddenly pulls out

like 20 guns that he was hiding inside of

his body, which is so weird because how

come the security scan thing didn't detect

the guns? Maybe it can't pass through

wood. It doesn't make any sense. And then

Chris Pratt and Groot just start murdering

everyone in the room. There was like 10 or

15 henchmen and they just get blasted. I

thought earlier Chris Pratt was saying we

don't kill anyone. After they finish

murdering everyone, they just dive at the

fat guy with the metal thing in his head

who's just standing there, and they grab

him and they just jump out of the window

of the headquarters, which is now flying

up into space, and they just grab him and

start diving towards the surface of the

planet. And then Groot just magically

grows wings. So the 3 of them are

plummeting towards the ground, and Chris

is holding on to the big fat guy and kind

of like holding him down. So when they hit

the ground, guess who's gonna be squished?

The fat guy. So they smash into the

ground, fat guy first, completely killing

him. I guess his back and spine would have

been shattered from that impact. And now

the fat guy is kind of underwater in this

puddle, and then Chris just whips out a

knife and cuts the metal thing out of the

guy's skull. It's kind of brutal, don't

you think? I thought Chris Pratt's

character was like, oh, we got to save

people, we don't kill anyone, and you just

murdered the guy, broke his back, and then

stabbed him in the skull with a knife and

cut this thing out. So they get the

password thing inside of the metal thing

from the guy's head, they plug it into the

special ball thing. Now they have the

missing code that they can now use to save

Rocket, and it works. It's like a sad

little scene where he nearly dies and sees

his friends going to heaven, and then he

regains consciousness and he's back and

he's fine and everything's great. But now

they have to go back to the headquarters

because the other members of the Guardians

went into the headquarters thinking

they're going in there to save Chris when

actually they jumped out the window

earlier. So now they have to go back to

the headquarters to save Drax, the weird

alien bug-faced girl, and Nebula, and also

save all the children and the experiments

on the headquarters and defeat the black

guy. So there's a lot of fighting, and

there's a pretty cool fight scene where

the Guardians face off against a bunch of

the security team. And yeah, it's a pretty

cool action scene. It's very violent, and

they completely destroy these guys and the

creatures, which makes me think again,

wait, I thought you guys don't kill

people, but you just completely murdered

everyone in this corridor in a very brutal

way. And then for some reason, Rocket ends

up on his own, and he's in the area where

his friends were caged up when he was a

kid. And then he faces off against the

High Evolutionary. They have a one-on-one.

He gets slammed around the bit by the

gravity power, but then he uses his magic

gravity boots and then shoots the High

Evolutionary with his gun a few times.

And then the rest of the Guardians appear,

and then they all beat up the High

Evolutionary guy, and he's basically

unconscious. And Rocket is contemplating

whether he should shoot the guy and just

kill him, but then he goes, no, we don't

do that. We're Guardians. We don't kill

people, after they literally just murdered

like 20 people of the security team. It's

just so silly. They want to make the good

guys seem good because they spared his

life. I mean, they had no problem just

murdering a load of insignificant henchmen

and security guards, but they don't want

to kill the main bad guy who is

responsible for millions of deaths and all

of this suffering. What, were they just

gonna let him get away and let him survive

so he can maybe come back again next time

with an even worse horrible plan? So the

massive headquarters spaceship is now

exploding as the Guardians of the Galaxy's

home base spaceship crew arrive in a

massive kind of skull, which was a pretty

cool scene. And then they start trying to

save all of the experiments and animals

and all the little children. And as

they're all running, jumping from the

headquarters ship onto the good guys' home

base ship, Chris Pratt is the last one,

and he starts running frantically, and he

makes this leap of faith trying to reach

back to the home base ship to his friends.

And he doesn't quite make it, and he just

floats around in space and starts freezing

up. His face starts bloating as if his

body is going to explode, and And then you

think, okay, so Chris is dead. So they try

and trick you into thinking he's dead,

make you feel sad, and then there's like

close-ups of the Guardians' faces looking

sad. And then out of nowhere, magically,

the derpy-looking Ron Weasley character

flies Chris back into the spaceship, and

somehow he survives, which is really dumb

because pretty sure if you get exposed to

space for that long, you're not gonna

survive. Your body's just gonna blow up

and explode because of all the liquids and

gas inside of the body is going to expand

and try to escape from the body. At that

point, there's no way he would have

survived that long being exposed to outer

space. But obviously he survives because

he's the main character. His bloated face

returns to normal and he looks fine as if

nothing happened. And the derpy Ron

Weasley guy redeems himself, and now he's

just magically friends with everyone even

though everything is his fault because he

was the one who shot Rocket in the first

place. But no one seems to care. No one's

mad at him. No one's angry. They just They

just say, oh, we give you a second chance

because we believe in second chances. And

then Chris Pratt suddenly decides to go

back home to see his grandfather, and this

scene is really weird because he goes back

to Earth and he's in his grandfather's

house, and the grandfather's house just

looks like a normal house in the real

world. I found it really jarring because

Guardians of the Galaxy is supposed to be

this sci-fi futuristic universe with all

this cool technology and futuristic stuff,

and then he just goes back to his

grandfather's house, which looks like a

normal house in the real world that has

nothing inside of it that would make you

think, oh wait, this is from Guardians of

the Galaxy. It just looks like a normal

house. I think it just really ruined the

immersion that you're watching a Guardians

of the Galaxy movie, and it's just like,

oh, it's Chris Pratt in a house with an

old man. So yeah, those are my thoughts on

the Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 movie.

It was okay. I'd give it 6.2 out of 10. I

thought it was surprisingly violent. I

thought this was gonna be like a kids

movie, but there was quite a lot of

violent scenes and And some gory scenes

too, which I wasn't expecting, and Chris

Pratt even says the F-word.