The Journey Ends...

Who's that?

Hello! I haven't seen you for 5 months,

Mr. Toffee. How have you been?

He's so brown now. Look at his fur,

it's like going orange. Why are you going

orange? Hmm? Did you

miss me? You didn't miss me? Do you

know who I am?

He's so skinny now.

Good morning. It is nice and early in

the morning. I woke up at around 6 AM.

Now it's half past 6. I thought it'd be a

good idea to wake up early instead of

sleeping late. I don't want to get back

into the pattern where I was sleeping

really late because it just feels— I feel

really guilty when I sleep really late.

Anyway, I just wanted to talk about a

few things. I didn't really get the chance

to make a proper video yesterday because I

just got back home and my family were

like, let's go to the seaside.

So it was nice because last time I came

home my dad was away at work, my sister

was in London, and it was just me and my

mum, and it was kind of lonely. But this

time everyone's here. My sister's here,

my dad's here, my sister's boyfriend's

here. And it's— yeah, it was really nice

yesterday, but, oh,

it was so— such, such an emotional day

that I got on the plane from Taiwan

And then I had to go to Hong Kong, and

then I had a layover, and then I got on

the plane. 12-hour flight back here.

And I felt so sad on the plane.

I was just thinking about everything that

happened. It was just rerunning,

replaying over and over in my mind. I just

kept thinking about all the things that I

did wrong or could have done better.

I actually nearly started crying. I could

feel the tears building up.

Ah, it's just so strange to be home.

Everything's so different compared to

Taiwan. In Taiwan, it's just boiling hot

all the time. It's so noisy everywhere.

There's motorbikes, people just shouting

and going crazy. But then you come back to

the UK and you realize all Wow, it's so

peaceful, it's so quiet,

and I really— it's really nice.

It's a really nice change from all the

chaos. You don't know how nice

it is not to be sweating. The whole time

in Japan it was boiling hot. Taiwan was

even hotter, and I was just so sick of

being hot all the time.

Look, I can wear layers. I've got a shirt,

I've got a second shirt, I've got my

hoodie I haven't worn for ages. It's just

so nice to feel cool and

not hot. This is so refreshing.

I feel kind of bad because I didn't get to

say goodbye to my friend's family

properly. I didn't say goodbye to her dad

even though he was in the same room. I was

just I didn't know how to do it. I wanted

to do it, but I was just so scared. I

don't know why, but he's kind of

intimidating. I thought he would come over

to the car and say goodbye, but he didn't.

He just kind of sat over by the TV

watching TV. And I didn't get to see my

friend's mum. I didn't get to say bye to

her. I didn't really say bye to her

brother because they took me to the

airport in their car and I thought they

were going to get get down from the car,

see me off to the airport, but they just

dropped me off and then they drove off.

Said goodbye and then drove off. It was

just— felt kind of cold to me because

usually here, like, if, if I drop someone

off at the airport with my dad, we get

down from the car, we, we walk together to

the airport, we say goodbye, take care,

it was nice meeting you. But it's just

like, no, just like very short, very

blunt. Goodbye. Then they drove off.

I felt kind of like, was that it?

Was that it? Just one word? Okay.

But yeah, I felt kind of bad because I

should have at least said bye, thanks for

everything to her parents. But it was just

so sudden. I felt so bad on Wednesday,

and I just like I told my friend

everything for the second time, that I was

sick of her ignoring me and just telling

me to go and talk to her family when I

wasn't really that interested in talking

to her family, to be honest. I came to see

her, not her family, but she didn't

really understand. And I just didn't see

any point in staying for any longer. It

would have just been the same, just me

stuck in my room. There might have been a

few days where it would have been fun,

but I just couldn't take it anymore. So I

bought my ticket, left, left 2

days later. Kind of— I stayed on a whim

and I left on a whim, you know, no

planning, just instant decision,

instant decision-making. And we're

kind of having a flea epidemic epidemic

back at— back in the house. There are

fleas everywhere. I've only been back one

day, my legs have been bitten so many

times. It's just so itchy. I can't decide

which is worse, mosquitoes or fleas,

because mosquitoes can fly but they're

slower, so they're a bit easier to catch.

But fleas are just so small, and any

movement, they just ping off and you just

can't find them again. And they're so hard

to kill because you bug spray the whole

house, but they lay eggs and the eggs just

hatch and they start over again. And I

think they're coming from outside because

I walk around outside and they like jump

up onto your trousers from the grass. I

guess it's the rabbits that kind of keep

them alive. And this year's winter hasn't

really been very cold, so they haven't

really been killed off by the cold

weather. So it's mosquitoes in

Asia, fleas back here. Just can't escape

the blood-sucking little shits, can you?

Why do they have to suck your blood? I

wouldn't mind them sucking your blood if

they didn't make you itch like hell.

This is so tricky. We thought it was the

animals that are bringing— our cats

bringing the fleas in, but It's not just

the cats bringing them in, it's us going

outside and coming back inside. I just

realized this— our garden's really

overgrown. Can you see?

It's getting pretty overgrown.

It's pretty nice. It's just so much green.

It's just so strange to be surrounded by

all this greenery. In Japan, it was just

gray the whole time. In Korea, it was

gray. Taiwan, just gray cement

and concrete and steel. But it's nice to

come back to nature. Look, trees, grass,

birds. This is how it's supposed to be.

It's not supposed to be concrete and steel

and glass everywhere. We messed up the

planet, guys. It's supposed to be green.

There's supposed to be grass. There's

supposed to be trees.

It's just really nice to be home. You

just, you don't realize how much you take

for granted things. Just leave, leave your

house, leave your home for a few months,

stay in another country, then come back,

and then you realize how— start to

appreciate how nice it is back at home.

So what do I do from now? I guess I

need to get a job, really. I can't just

sit around the house doing nothing like I

was doing before. I feel like I need to do

something. So I started writing my CV.

I made a new one. It's pretty good. But

I'm not gonna start applying for jobs yet

because I want my own phone number, my own

personal phone number. I don't want to use

the house phone, so I ordered a SIM card

to use in my phone. So I'll wait for that

to come. And I

don't know, maybe it's just now I'm

feeling like that. Maybe later I'll give

up the job search. But I would really like

to have some money. Would be nice because

I want my friend to come, to come to the

UK, and I want to have money to be able to

take her out. I feel like I owe her

Because she took me to so many places in

Taiwan. She let me stay in her house. She

was really nice to me until the end.

Like, the end, the last, the final days,

I didn't really feel like she was very

nice to me, so that's why I left. But that

might have just been me misunderstanding.

I don't know. But I

feel like we're on good terms now. We're,

we're chatting a lot. We,

we expressed our feelings to each other,

like our frustrations about the whole

experience.

So hopefully we can move on. Be nice.

I downloaded all these movies and all

these YouTube videos so I could watch on

the airplane. In the end, I didn't watch

any of them because I just fell asleep.

Usually I can't sleep on airplanes because

it's so uncomfortable, but I was so tired,

like physically tired, mentally tired, I

just fell asleep. The stupid guy next to

me kept waking me up, so that was a bit

annoying.

And they gave us like a beef stew with

mashed potatoes on the plane. I haven't

eaten potato for so long. It was so nice

to eat potato. I've just— every day since

March I've been eating noodles and rice,

and I'm just— I'm sick of noodles and

rice. I just want to eat nice potato.

And then there was this guy, an English

guy on the airplane, he was talking, and

it was so nice to listen to him talk. I

haven't heard a British accent for such a

long time. It was so refreshing.

Uh, let's talk about YouTube for a bit.

Channel is growing very, very slowly, but

it's growing. It's not dying, which is

fantastic. I can't believe it's been— it's

nearly been a year. I started vlogging

last year in September. Yeah,

September, just before I left for France.

And okay, I know it's not much, but I

just I feel like it's amazing that I've

gotten to this point. I don't really think

I'm a very interesting person. I'm not

very charismatic. I'm not funny or

crazy. So I feel kind of humbled

that I have at least, like, some people

who are interested in my videos. And I'm

getting my first, like, paycheck from

YouTube. Should be coming next month.

It's not much, but it feels so rewarding.

Like, I can't believe my shitty videos are

making at least some money, and every

month the money I get, it goes up a tiny

bit. It just feels like I'm building

something. I don't know where it's going

to go or how big it's going to get.

I just— it's just This is funny that

in this day and age you can make a video

talking about stuff and people will watch

it and you can get money. I just, I don't

understand why everyone is not doing it.

There's so many people aren't making

videos on YouTube just because they think

it's weird or because they think, oh, no

one will watch my videos. But there's so

many people on YouTube that no matter what

kind of videos you make, there's bound to

be at least some people who are going to

watch it. And if you know something, like

you have a skill and you're not making

videos, like teaching people how to do

your skill, you're just losing. You're

losing out on money. I guess some people

just don't like it. Like, some people are

very private. They don't want to show

their face on video. They don't want to

reveal their personal life. For me, I

don't, I don't really care. It's fine.

Um,

and I just feel so thankful that it's like

you, you lot actually watched my videos

and cared about what I had to say during

my whole Taiwan experience and Japan

experience. And it just feels so nice.

Like, I don't really know you personally,

but I don't know, it kind of feels like

having a friend. I don't—

like some kind of weird replacement for a

friend. I don't know. Even if I don't have

friends or if I don't have anyone I can

really talk to, at least I can just talk

to you guys, and at least some of you will

listen. It really helped just talking

about my problems. I had a really tough

time, especially in Taiwan, and A lot of

people gave me really nice comments and I

found them really helpful. They really

encouraged me and lifted my spirits when

I was feeling down. And yeah, I just want

to say thanks. Thanks for— thanks for

caring, I guess. I started this YouTube

channel to improve my self-confidence,

improve my speaking, and I feel like I

really have improved a lot. If you've seen

my first videos a year ago, I was so

nervous and really bad at speaking. Like,

I couldn't express myself properly because

I just found it so hard to get words that

I was thinking— to get the ideas I was

thinking of and turn them into words.

And I was so nervous talking to a camera.

It was just— it made it even more

difficult, but You know what they say,

you keep doing something every day,

you're gonna get better. It doesn't matter

what it is, just keep doing it. You're

bound to get better. It's just practice,

just practice. And I feel so much more

comfortable just talking to a camera about

random stuff. It just, it doesn't matter.

Just do it. Don't be shy. Don't be scared.

There's nothing to be scared of.

So nice. Look at this, it's green,

it's green. I've missed green so much.

It's just so weird, you just take it for

granted, all these little things. Even the

sound of birds singing.

I think that's pretty much all I had to

say. Um, yeah, feeling good,

feeling positive, feeling optimistic. I

think things are gonna go, go well from

now on. I don't know, I guess we'll

see. Bye guys.