I'm quitting Youtube...Goodbye forever

Hey guys, I got some very sad news.

Unfortunately, it has come to my

conclusion that my channel is not doing

very well. No matter what I do,

it doesn't get views. I could make videos

about my new girlfriend, my wife, my

ex-wife, relationship stuff,

why life sucks. I tried out so many

things, just like even dating stuff,

going out and doing some vlogging dates.

Nothing works. I'm getting so frustrated.

I can't get any bloody views anymore above

10K, no matter what I do. I can travel the

world, go to new countries. And nothing

cracks over 10K. It's just so annoying.

I don't know what to do anymore. It's like

it doesn't matter what I do anymore. I

could go to the moon and then bang a girl

on the spaceship and it wouldn't even get

8K views, probably. As a

content creator, it's probably one of the

most frustrating things in the entire

world, because you want to see growth

when you make a channel. You want to see

things go up, not just go up and come back

down again and then go flat. There's

nothing more depressing than seeing that.

So unfortunately, I will be quitting

YouTube as of today,

but Uh,

if you— if I get, uh,

320 likes,

I might decide not to quit YouTube.

So if we can get 320 likes,

maybe I'll change my mind, but I can't

give you any promises.

Everyone was here for the Japan era. As

long as you don't go to Japan, you aren't

getting any views. I really doubt I'd get

views even if I go back to Japan. But

right now I just— I can't go back to Japan

because I got a bloody girlfriend. It's

really annoying because I've been watching

Ice because he's in Japan now and he's

doing what I wanted to do. I wanted to go

to Japan, book myself into like a really

cheap hotel, and then just spend most of

the day streaming outside and doing stuff.

And I wanted to do stuff like living in a

capsule hotel for a month challenge. But

then I ended up getting a girlfriend.

It's so irritating because I desperately

wanted a girlfriend for like 2 years ever

since Mila broke up with me. All of

Manchester, I was desperate to have a

girlfriend. Couldn't get one. Nearly all

of 2022, I was desperate to have a

girlfriend. And then bloody Japan reopens

and then I get one just out of nowhere.

It's just like magic. I didn't even try

that hard to get this girlfriend.

Honestly, I just said, hey, I'm Daniel,

do you want to meet? And then I just

talked to her for a few months, chatting

to her and doing a few phone calls. And

now I've got like, basically she's like my

wife now. The only difference is we're not

legally married, but she is basically like

a wife. She comes home, she cooks and

cleans, does my laundry. I got a

replacement for Chihiro so easily, but now

I feel like, is this really what I want?

Ladyboy arc, the time is now. Oh,

thanks, Unique Utilities. But let's

say even if I slept with a ladyboy, I'm

not going to film it. And then I'd just be

talking about it. I'd be like, yeah, I met

a ladyboy. We had gay sex. We had gay

cereal. Oh, nearly said it. Let me check

my monetization. I nearly ruined my whole

stream. Gay cereal.

I can't do ladyboy stuff because I'm not

gay. And I don't want to get AIDS.

I can't get a relationship where the girl

wants to be part of the channel because

it'll be too difficult. How am I going to

whine and moan about them being annoying

if they know what I'm saying?

Do I want to go back to 2019 Daniel?

Yeah, kind of. 2019 Daniel was more

interested in taking risks and less scared

of stuff like doxxing himself and getting

exposed. Back in 2019, I just didn't care

at all. It was amazing.

But now I feel like it would be so awkward

and uncomfortable if my girlfriend found

out about my channel.

So I'm going to Vietnam in how many weeks?

In about 2 weeks, I'm going to Vietnam

with my girlfriend. I booked the tickets

already and I just need to book hotels

next and then it's locked in.

But I don't think you guys are going to be

interested in it either. I can do some

travel vlogs like, here's us on the plane,

here's us at the hotel, here's some

Vietnamese streets and mopeds, and here's

some Vietnamese food. But I don't think

you'd be interested in it unless something

amazing happened, like I ditched my

girlfriend in Vietnam and running away to

Japan. Now that would be funny,

but I don't think I have the heart to do

that. I'm not as evil as you guys think I

I wish I was really evil because it would

make it a lot easier to make— to get

views. I'd do crazy stuff like secretly

filming myself breaking up with my

girlfriend or secretly filming my

girlfriend finding out about my channel.

I don't have the heart to do that. I would

feel too much guilt. It would come back to

So what's likely to happen is we go to

Vietnam for a few weeks and then I'm going

to try to come back to Thailand to see if

they let me back in for a non— no visa

exemption waiver, which should let me stay

for about 45 days, which I can extend to 2

months, 75 days. And then I'm going to

Japan, but then that'll be like in 2

months after January would be like March,

so beginning of March.

Oh, Ice Poseidon would have left by then.

I was gonna stream snipe him but not go up

to him, just follow him from like a

distance and then stalk them. Because if I

sniped Ice, I'd want to stream it,

but you can't really have 2 people

streaming at the same time because it's

kind of silly. So then you got 2 different

people talking to 2 different streams.

It's not really fun to do.

Why would you follow Ice without meeting

him? Because if I met him, he's got like

all these other people following him

around. Like, he's got like 5 other

foreigners, Americans following around,

and then I would just end up following in

the back and then no one would really be

talking to me and then it'd be really

weird. And I'd look like a weirdo just

following behind everyone, not saying

anything.

So I'll just trail along from like 10

meters behind or 100 meters behind without

letting them know that I'm following them

and then see if he notices. I don't think

he would notice because I don't really

have that many followers to go over to his

chat and say, Daniel's behind you. It'd be

funny if he looks behind him. I saw a few

people were mentioning me in his chat.

There was like one person. He said, meet

Hiding in My Room again. Apart from that

one person, there was no other mention of

me. He met this black guy and he said he,

he knows Hiding in My Room. And then Ice

said something about my wife. I don't know

why Ice thinks Chihiro wanted to fuck him.

He kept saying that when Daniel was in the

toilet, Chihiro was saying weird stuff to

me or talking in a weird way. And then he

said, I think she wanted to fuck me. I

don't know what he's talking about.

Chihiro is not that kind of lady to just

want to have you-know-what with a random

I think because Chihiro's English is just

bad, so She was probably talking in a

weird, nervous way because maybe she was

just nervous and then she was fumbling

with her English and it wasn't coming out

great. And then Ais was like, wow, she's

speaking to me in a weird way. Maybe she

wants to sleep with me. Maybe her English

just sucks and that's why. I kept telling

everyone Chihiro's English sucks, but they

wouldn't believe me. They kept saying,

her English is really good, better than

your Japanese. She's an English teacher.

And then Chihiro got upset because I would

tell everyone her English is bad because

she thought her English was good because

everyone was telling her English is good.

So she thought, oh, maybe my English is

good. Her English is not good. It's very

basic. It's better than my girlfriend's,

but my girlfriend's English is so bad.

He could be a liar. I don't know. He keeps

saying it. He said it 2 years ago. I

remember seeing him doing like a car

stream and he was saying the same thing,

that Chihiro wanted to sleep with him.

Really weird. I don't know why he thinks

that.

The black guy's name is Jawzr. He has a

channel about picking up J-chicks.

He seems to be getting really upset with

the live chat. And worried. And he was

like, oh, I shouldn't have told everyone

my name. And then he just quietly went

home and left without saying bye. It was

weird. But he said he knows my channel,

which is funny. The whole stream with Ice

was just them walking around trying to

chat to Japanese girls. Can you imagine

what Chris and Connor must think of that?

They must be thinking, oh my God, this is

why people hate YouTubers. This is why

people hate foreigners in Japan. They're

making us look bad. Chris and Connor try

so hard to be respectful and considerate

to people around them when they stream

outside in Japan. And then you got Ice

coming with his entourage of just loud,

noisy foreigners who want to smash

Japanese girls, and they're not even being

discreet about it. They're like, yeah,

I'm here because I want to smash as many

J-girls as possible. Chris and Connor must

be shaking their heads. Chris must be

like, oh my God, this is why I fucking

hate YouTubers. Chris must be just

rolling in his bed at night worrying. Can

you imagine Chris and Ice or Connor and

Ice streaming together? That'd just never

happen. Connor is so respectful

and humble and never says anything

degenerate or weird

about women. Ice is just like the complete

opposite.

He was yanking oranges out of a tree.

That's just so weird. I've never ever

thought of pulling fruit out of a tree in

I am interested in what Chihiro said to

Ice to make him think that. So I asked TKO

Sam when he meets Ice to ask Ice, what

exactly did Chihiro say? And then maybe I

can clip it, make it into a video. I got

one clip, it's like 30 seconds long.

Wait, I'll play it.

I watched parts of it, but like, you know,

hiding in my room. Yeah. Oh, that guy,

his wife tried to fuck me when I was here.

Really? Or something. She left the room.

I had a girlfriend, bro. So no. Well, she

went to the bathroom. And she was like

talking to me in some weird, crazy way. I

think she was trying to fuck me. And I'm

like, whoa, you're fucking this guy's

wife, you know? What is he talking about?

It said started talking to me in this

crazy way.

What do you think she was saying? Was she

like, oh, when Daniel's gone, should we

slip off and go to her? Imagine Chihiro

saying that. Chihiro would never. Chihiro

has class. And I really don't think Ice is

her type. Chihiro likes quiet, nerdy guys,

not like really big, loud, tall, gigantic

American guys. There's no way Chihiro was

flirting with him. That's just a load of

nonsense.

We need to get Chihiro's opinion. What did

she say? I don't think it was what she

said. It was probably how she said it that

made him think think that.

Is she like Australian guy? Yeah, but

Australian guy came across as kind of a

bit— I don't know. I don't think

Australian guy was like a loud,

extroverted person. He seemed like he had

a soft inner side.

He sounded like he had, um, personal

problems that he used to vent to Chihiro.

So Chihiro probably thought he had like a

soft side.

She says she was with you because she had

low self-esteem. Did she?

She said she liked me because I was like a

quiet, non-intimidating, nice guy.

And I'm pretty good looking, to be honest.

A lot of people tell me I'm good looking,

so it's not me saying that. It's other

people saying that.

Like on the Elvis Alien video, people are

saying that I'm crazy and stuff, but they

also say he's actually quite good looking.

Shame about his personality.

Actually, my plan A was I'd come to

Thailand to check out this Thai girl, and

I was assuming things wouldn't work out

because, you know, things don't usually

work out with me. I usually get dumped or

rejected. And then I was going to go to

Japan in November and then try and snipe

Ice again. But it seems like

things always don't work out the way you

hope it to work out. And then the opposite

happens of what you want to happen.

A shame it doesn't work like that with

money. What if I just go, oh, I don't care

about money anymore. And then you wake up

next day and you're rich. Why is it always

when you're really desperately trying to

get something, you don't get it until you

lose interest in it and then you get it?

After you don't really care that much

about it. Funny how that works.

She was opening to Ice and the other guy.

I don't really think she was that

talkative. I don't remember.

She didn't— she talked to Ice more than I

talked to Ice, but that's just because

she's better at conversation. I was kind

of nervous and I didn't really know what

I blame my haters. Stupid haters were

supposed to expose me and find my

girlfriend and then tell them about me.

They couldn't even find out who she is.

I gave them plenty of clues.

I don't even remember what we talked about

when we met Ice. I remember we just

started telling him about— me and Chihiro

started telling them about how we cheat on

each other and how I got a love doll.

And we were just exchanging cheating

stories. It was weird. It was like, who

can out— who can out-cheat the other

person? Who can tell better cheating

stories to Ice? You're handsome, Daniel.

You can. Tquit disappointed. Have you ever

considered joining a K-pop group? Oh wow,

thanks, Rosetta Stone. What is that

currency though?

I've never seen that. Sign in my life.

60— what?

What is that? I can't

copy and paste it. Have I considered

joining a K-pop group? I think I'm not

that good looking. I did

used to have a dream when I was in my

early 20s, I could join Johnny's.

Johnny's is like this Japanese pop

industry company. That recruits very

handsome young Japanese boys and then

molds them into like an idol. They get

them from a young age, maybe 15 or 16.

They like scout around schools and stuff.

It's kind of creepy and predatory,

actually. But they go around scouting

around for good-looking, handsome guys,

and then they recruit them into Johnny's,

where they are then taught how to sing,

dance, and be funny and be charming. And

then they are put into some kind of group,

like a pop group. The most famous one was

Arashi, which is Storm Arashi or

something. And it had that Matsumoto Jun.

That was like one of the biggest Japanese

boy groups in the '90s and the 2000s.

Before them, there was— what are they

called? SMAP, I think, were the ones

before them. But Arashi is really old now.

They're like mid-30s, late 30s, nearly

40s. I don't know if there's a new one to

replace them. But I used to think

maybe I am good looking enough to join

Johnny's. That would be my dream.

But I can't sing, can't dance, and I'm not

that good looking. And I've got terrible

social skills. And my Japanese wouldn't be

We are talking about how Chihiro was

hitting on Ice while Daniel's in the

bathroom. How was she— was she hitting on

him? I think it's just misunderstanding.

He misunderstood her weird English for

We need to wait for TKO Sam to ask Ice.

What exactly did she say? I should donate

to Ice. Keep your— keep my ex-wife's name

out your fucking mouth.

Well, so I'm coming to Japan. Who'd win

in a fight, me or Ice? He lost his boxing

match to that Brandon guy. Maybe I could

beat him.

The video of you two meeting Ice can still

be found on YouTube. Yeah, and you can

watch it. And is there any part of the

stream that makes it look like Chihiro was

flirting with Ice? The bit when I went to

the toilet. I don't even remember going to

the toilet, so I don't know what he's

talking about. Did I even go to the

toilet? Because I would have taken the

stream with me if I went to the toilet. I

don't think I would have left my stream

with strangers and my ex-wife because they

could have, I don't know, shown their

nipple and then got me banned. I would

never leave my phone streaming with

someone else. I would take it with me.

Did I go to the toilet? He says when I

went to the toilet, she was saying all

effed up stuff to him. It's so hard

to quote Ice because he swears every 2

seconds. I don't want to get demonetized.

I don't know how he doesn't. I reckon all

of his streams are pretty demonetized

because he constantly swears.

You swear in the first 5 or 10 minutes of

a stream, you get demonetized. Maybe an

hour in, you can start swearing.

She was not flirting. She seemed kind of

sad because she was talking about

relationship problems. She was talking a

lot about flirt— I mean, cheating. So

maybe I thought, wow, She's going on about

cheating a lot. Maybe she wants to cheat

with me too. Maybe this couple,

these 2 people have like a cheating

fetish. Maybe they get off on cheating on

each other. He must have thought— I bet

that was what he was thinking, because it

does seem weird. It's like, I cheated on

Chihiro 8 times and she kept taking me

back, and then she cheated back on me,

and then she would tell me in bed,

Daniel, when you were gone, I had sex with

a guy in the bed. Were in now. And then

she had like a grin on her face, like she

was getting off on it. It was weird.

Like, we kept cheating on each other and

we didn't break up. Most couples would

break up if one of them cheated on the

other. I'd be annoyed

and kind of upset, but I'd still stay in

the relationship just to get like hate

sex. If my girlfriend came home tonight

and said, Daniel, I've got something to

admit. I hooked up with my ex last night.

But it won't ever happen again, I promise.

I'd be like, what? But then I'd get horny.

Then I'd be like, uh, whatever,

get naked. I don't really care.

The trick is don't get too emotionally

invested in a girl so that when stuff like

that happens, you don't really care that

much because you can't really be hurt if

you never really open your heart to

people. I don't really care if you

cheat on me if I don't have feelings for

you. Yeah, Chihiro was like, yeah, I slept

with another guy when you were gone,

hoping that was gonna hurt me. How's that

gonna hurt me when I don't really have

true feelings for you? That only works if

I was actually in love with you. So you

kind of just shot yourself in the foot.

All I thought was, well, I did sleep with

a few viewers in Europe and Germany. So I

guess it's fair that you slept around too

whilst I was gone. I can't really— can't

really complain. Fair's fair, isn't it?

I woke up this morning, my fingers were so

damn itchy. I was just scratching them and

it felt so good. I just scratched off this

layer of skin. It was all dead skin, so I

think it's fine. I think I scratched a bit

too hard. I'm worried it's going to get

infected again. It's starting to look a

bit better. The normal color of my skin is

starting to come back and the amount of

redness is going down a bit, but Jesus

Christ, it's so itchy.

The scary thing is, even if it goes away,

I feel like it might come back in a few

weeks' time because Because I had it on my

finger and then it went away and it was

fine for a bit and then it came back

again, but this time way worse. This is

day 3 without any coffee. I stopped

drinking my instant coffee a few days ago

because I thought maybe I'm having an

allergic reaction to the coffee. The first

day I had a massive headache. I felt so

sleepy. I feel good today. It was weird.

I don't know if it's because of the coffee

or I was getting sick because I had a bit

of a scratchy throat. And I was having a

bit of a headache yesterday too, but I

feel pretty clear-minded today. Yesterday

and the day before, I had this huge

headache. I just wanted to go to sleep. I

felt so bad. Maybe that's coffee

withdrawal.

My diet is pretty unhealthy. I'm trying to

eat more fruit again. I think I'm having

vitamin deficiency. I need to get some

kind of multivitamin, maybe vitamin D.

People say get cod liver oil. Maybe that

would help.

But it's weird. After you stop drinking

coffee, you start thinking, yeah, it's

weird. I needed to drink coffee every day.

I miss the flavor. The only thing I like

about coffee is the flavor. So maybe I'll

buy decaf. I don't know if decaf tastes

good. I never drank coffee for the

caffeine because I never really felt like

I needed to wake up before drinking

coffee. I just drank coffee because I

enjoyed the taste.

I like the flavor and I like having a warm

drink when I wake up. It's like a,

like a routine thing you do in the

morning. Turn on the kettle, make yourself

coffee, go and sit down. Drink coffee and

check the news and stuff. It's like a,

a daily life habit routine thing that's

nice to have, but it's not really

necessary. Why doesn't Daniel talk

to chat? I'm not really seeing anything to

respond to.

It's amazing that we all come back to him

despite him treating his fans like an

abused girlfriend. What?

I'm very nice to my viewers. If they're

nice to me, I'll be nice back.

But I don't really feel loved anymore.

Don't really feel appreciated as a

She talked about eating pills because she

was sad. Maybe Ice took that as she wants

me because she was oversharing. Yeah, the

conversation got weird between us and Ice.

It started to become like a therapy

session, like Ice was our therapist and we

were telling him It was like marriage

counseling. It was really strange. It's

like when a girl gets really drunk and

then starts spilling out all her personal

stuff to a guy.

I think it was kind of boring unless we

started talking about weird stuff.

Otherwise, it's just like me and this

Japanese woman sitting here with ice

talking about, oh, what do you think of

Japan? How are you liking Japan so far?

Without the weird cheating stories, me and

Chihiro were not a very interesting

couple. What made us interesting was that

the fact we kept cheating on each other.

And then I didn't really have feelings or

love her, but I was married to her and

people were like, why did you get married

then? You don't even like each other.

Then people asked Chihiro, why did you

like Daniel? And then she was like,

because he's not noisy.

Chihiro did seem to love me, but it was

like she didn't actually have proper

reasons to like me. She didn't even know

why she liked me. It was like because she

couldn't find anyone else. She used to say

because she didn't like guys her age and

guys older than her would be too old and

fat and probably already divorced. Or have

some kind of problem. She said a guy her

age who was still single must have some

kind of problems, like he's divorced

already, or he's a weirdo and he got

dumped, or he can't find a girlfriend for

certain reasons, like he's a weirdo. So

any guy her age who's still single would

not be single for a good reason. And

either they would be with another person

and pretending to be single, and just

trying to get someone on the side, or

they'd be like fat and balding and not

good looking. So she likes, she likes

younger guys like me who've got hair and

who are slim. So I

guess from that kind of perspective, she

thought I was a good catch until the

YouTube weirdness began. Before the

YouTube weirdness, I was pretty normal,

nice guy. Most girls would like me. I seem

very innocent and,

um, I seem very innocent

and— what's the word? I can't think of the

word now. I seem unproblematic.

That's the word.

It's probably why my girlfriend likes me

so much. I just seem like a nice,

innocent guy. Just keeps himself to

himself, plays video games, stays at home.

I seem like a safe bet. Maybe not an

exciting one, but I

think a lot of women who don't know what

I'm like on YouTube, they think I'm a nice

And then they find out my dark side and

the whole world turns upside down.

There was a guy on Ice's stream. He said

he was in Japan for like 3 weeks and he

slept with 6 women or something, and he,

he slept with them all unprotected. And

now he's pissing blood. What kind— what?

I never heard of an STD where you piss

blood. What the hell does he have?

He said to Ice, I can't do anything

tonight because I fucked too much. And he

said he has to go back to LA tomorrow to

get checked out. STD symptoms,

pissing blood.

Gonorrhea. Gonorrhea is the other STD that

has blood in urine. Do you think he has

gonorrhea? That's what I'm worried about.

I'm worried if you get too good at picking

up women, you would just end up sleeping

every night with different women. Because

why would you not? If you had unlocked

this special ability to get women easily,

you would just end up sleeping around

loads and then you would eventually get

something. That's why I'm not really

interested in trying to do pickup. Number

one, it terrifies me. The idea of chatting

to strangers on the street terrifies me.

And then even if I put in loads of energy

and effort to try and overcome this fear

and get good at it, what if I did get good

at it and end up sleeping with 10 women,

with 10 women every night? I would also

end up getting something because I've got

no self-control. I would end up just

banging everyone and anyone I could. So

maybe it's not a bad idea to not try to

get good at this.

I bet he has gonorrhea.

Bloody urine, itching, abnormal discharge

are symptoms of gonorrhea.

Because I had chlamydia and that was known

as the tamest STDs, but that was not fun.

I got reactive arthritis from getting

chlamydia. I couldn't walk. My knees were

swollen and locked up. And I had insane

hip pain. My hip joints were so inflamed

and in pain, I had to drag myself along

the floor to go to the toilet. I couldn't

stand up sometimes. It was okay when just

one hip joint was in pain because then I

could limp on the other one. But sometimes

both sides of my hips were in pain. Both

of the hip joints were inflamed. I

couldn't walk at all. It was incredibly,

incredibly painful.

It was so bad. One of the worst pains I've

ever had.

So although I kind of envy these guys who

can go and pick up cute girls on the

street, maybe it's for the best that I'm

not interested in doing it.

Because I think I'll just go broke. I

wouldn't be able to resist the temptation

of going out every night trying to pull.

Sometimes social anxiety protects you from

a lot of bad stuff as well. You miss out

on a lot of fun because you're scared,

but then it also protects you a lot from

bad stuff happening. You also avoid

a lot of bad people because you just don't

hang out with people in general.

Have I ever done weed? I did weed in

Amsterdam and I smoked one in Rotterdam,

but I couldn't inhale it. It was too

strong. Every time I tried inhaling it, I

would start coughing.

Can just choose innocent girls, but it's

hard to tell who's actually innocent. I'm

Most girls would lie. They're not going to

be open and say, yeah, I had sex with 20

guys last month.

Girls lie just as much as guys do.

They both downplay how much of a slut they

are. It's like I'd never tell my

girlfriend I've had like 10 different

girlfriends and had about 20 one-night

stands. That would just upset her. I would

say, yeah, I had a couple girlfriends. Oh

no, I can never sleep with a girl unless I

have feelings for them. No, I never had a

one-night stand. Yes, I always use

protection. Just not with you because I

like you so much. You can't be honest

when it comes to the dating game. You be

honest and you just shoot yourself in the

foot. Women want

you to be honest, like, oh, you're

supposed to disclose to me if you had an

STD. But if I tell every girl By

the way, before this gets any further,

before this gets too far, I should tell

you that I had chlamydia in 2014. That's

like the dumbest thing to say. You're just

ruining your chances. Why would I say

that? I nearly had this American girl I

met on Tinder when I was in Japan, and

then she found my channel by chance and

she found out about my chlamydia video,

and then she was really upset. She was

like, oh, I can't believe you weren't

going to disclose to me the fact you had

an STD. Yeah, it was like 10 years

ago. Who cares? Obviously I don't have it

We were thinking— we were talking about

booking a hotel in, I think it was

Hiroshima. And I was this close

to actually booking it. She said we could

stay in a hotel the first night. And then

the day before we were supposed to meet,

she said, my friend recognized you and

told me about your YouTube channel.

How's the new girlfriend? She's still

coughing. Her coughing is getting worse.

She's taken all these oral steroids and

antibiotics. And some of them work for a

little bit, but then they don't work

anymore. And then she's back to coughing.

She's like coughing up an entire lung.

Last night she was just nonstop coughing.

She had to leave the bedroom and then

sleep on the sofa because she didn't want

to disturb me. So she comes home and

then she's fine. We have dinner, she's

fine. But then we get into bed and then

she just starts coughing. It really kills

the mood. Like, how am I supposed to get

my mojo on? When she's coughing up her

lung. Bit of a mood killer.

The entire 3 months we've been together,

she's been nonstop coughing the whole

time. What does she have?

She even went to a doctor and they said

she has rhinitis,

something like inflammation with the lung

lining and the mucus.

She said she never used to have this

before she got COVID, so she thinks it's

long COVID. So I'm

here moaning about my itchy fingers and my

dry fingers, and she's sitting there

coughing the whole time. We're like a

couple of diseased, disabled old people.

It's funny because Chihiro used to cough a

lot as well. It reminds me of Chihiro,

but Chihiro had asthma, so she had this

inhaler. I said to my girlfriend, why

don't you get an inhaler? That'll be

funny. It would remind me of Chihiro a

lot.

I should get similar clothing Chihiro used

to wear for my girlfriend and then dress

her up so she looks like Chihiro. That'd

be funny. She already has the brown dyed

hair like Chihiro does. Chihiro used to

wear that pink top, didn't she? She used

to wear jeans and that pink kind of

blouse. I should have stolen Chira's

clothing to make my new girlfriend wear.

Is that weird?

Oh, thanks, Al.

Because I can never find anyone who wants

to do friends with benefits.

I swear, every time I match a girl, they

always want a serious relationship. And

then if you put in your profile you want

open relationship, you'll never get any

matches because I'm not exactly the kind

of guy a girl who wants an open

relationship would get with. Girls who

want open relationships and friends with

benefits, they want like a hot stud. I

don't really fall into that category. I

fall into the category of lonely

middle-aged woman who wants a nice, sweet

boyfriend. I'm not like a hot

guy full of energy and life that these

young girls who are polyamorous would be

interested in. Also, I'm scared because if

they're sleeping with a load of other guys

and then sleeping with me unprotected—

if they're doing it protected, then the

sex is going to suck because I hate

protected cereal.

Oh, thanks. I don't know what that means.

Free him from what?

Happy for you. Glad you will use the time

away from YouTube to focus on your failing

mental health. Oh, thanks, Poppy.

I need a long break from YouTube. I've

been in a dark space. I need some time to

reevaluate my life and focus on my

girlfriend. And think about my future. I

might even sign up to college and maybe go

on a course in Thailand and then go to

university so I can get a real job. I

really think I need to learn some skills

in life and get a proper job because

YouTube won't last forever. Maybe I can be

a technician or an electrician, and then I

can get a real respected job in Thailand

and provide valuable services to the

society that I exist in.

I could provide value to society and

the economy and be a functioning member of

society. Wow, my eyes have opened.

I have become a new person. I had an

epiphany.

What was I saying before? Yeah, about open

relationships. As someone who hates

condoms, I want unprotected sex. I would

only want to be in a relationship if it

came with unprotected sex. There's no way

I could have a girlfriend who made me use

a condom every time. Like the second

British girlfriend I had this year, She

made me use a condom every time. And

because of that, I never asked her to go

to a hotel again because I knew she was

going to make me use a condom and I wanted

to nut inside of her. Maybe if she let me

do it unprotected, we would have created a

stronger connection because we would have

had more sex and things would have

developed more with her. But having

to have unprotected sex is a big deal

breaker for me. And having unprotected sex

with someone who's sleeping with a bunch

of other guys— if she's doing it

unprotected with me, she's probably doing

it unprotected with them, and that's a big

risk. So there's too much risk involved

with an open relationship.

And I would also get kind of upset. I get

jealous pretty easily, and I think She's

not putting me as her number one, but

she's sleeping with all these other guys.

I'd get pretty upset. And then the idea of

her sleeping with other guys would anger

me. I would feel angry, I think, like

actually feel anger. Even if I don't love

her, the idea that she's sleeping around

with other guys would piss me off so much.

I would like to have multiple girlfriends,

but they all have to be loyal to me.

I don't want to share. So I know that

sounds selfish, but really, when

relationships and sex are involved, it is

a selfish topic. People want,

but they don't want to give, or they don't

want to share, but they want everyone to

give to them.

I want to take, but I don't want to give.

I know it's selfish, but it is what it is.

It's like I want to eat meat, but I don't

want my meat to be eaten. I get pissed off

when mosquitoes bite me. I don't want

animals to eat me, but I want to enjoy a

Big Mac. Is that selfish? I mean, it is

selfish, isn't it? I mean, technically

it's not selfish because when I die, my

body will be returned to the ground. And

then insects will eat me, and then rats

and mice and birds will eat the insects,

and then bigger creatures will eat those

birds which live off of the insects,

which live off dead and rotting stuff. So

I think it is kind of fair.

I ate all these animals when I was alive,

and now I get to be eaten when I'm dead.

So I guess it's a fair exchange.

I will be cremated. No one's gonna eat me.

Yeah, I don't know if I want to be

cremated or just buried, but then if you

get buried in a coffin, you're not gonna

get eaten because I don't think the coffin

would degrade, decompose. If it's a good

quality coffin, nothing should get into

the coffin. I just want my corpse dumped

on like a landfill, and then I want birds

to eat me and then shit me out all over

the place. Can you imagine your corpse

gets eaten by birds and then shat out?

You would literally turn into bird shit.

I don't know if I want that. That sounds

kind of sad.

I want to be eaten by birds, turned into

shit, and then shat onto stupid people's

Um, because it's not my house. If it was

my house, then yeah, I'd have some ideas

what to do to the house. Chihiro is rather

lacking in luster. Yeah, Chihiro has been

lacking in luster recently.

Not up to my standards.

Ban the spammer. Who's spamming? I don't

see anyone spamming.

How long would I be streaming today?

His own mod is spam. Oh, um,

maybe 6 or 7 hours. She's coming home 6 PM

today, so I don't have 12 hours.

I want to do like a 12-hour stream. I

really like Ice Poseidon's stream with

the— he always has like interesting

widgets on his stream, like the heartbeat

monitor. And the little countdown timer.

Every time he gets a donation, the timer

goes up, so he has to keep streaming as

long as the timer is ticking.

I think he's streaming now, actually.

So he had about 11 hours. It started off

at 5 hours. People kept donating and

stuff, and it went up to 11 hours. So he

says he's never going to turn off the

stream as long as the timer Doesn't

reach zero. I don't know how you do that.

He must have created some kind of custom

widget that works on code.

Did he make it himself or was it like

something you can Google? Where can I do

this stuff? Because it looks fun. I want

stuff like that, like a heartbeat monitor,

some interactivity with the stream.

But then he's sleeping and he has a stream

on. What if no one donates when he's

streaming? Because he must sleep for like

10 hours. If there's only 8 hours left,

no one's donating. What if the timer

ticks down to zero and he wakes up?

Because not many people are watching when

he's sleeping. I checked it and he had

like 600 viewers when he was sleeping. I

checked it at 3 AM in the morning.

I think he should pause the timer when

he's sleeping because it's not fair to

have it ticking down, and it's not fair to

expect— I mean, a lot of people did donate

when he did the sleep stream, but that was

different because they were donating to

get him waterboarded and tased during

his sleep. People are not going to donate

if he's just sleeping and ignoring it all.

I didn't know you could link a heartbeat

monitor up to a stream. How'd you do that?

I like Connor's cycling stream. He had

that little minimap of his location and

then you could see him cycling. It was

like a little GTA minimap. That was a good

idea, but he said he had to pay a coder

developer to develop him this special

custom app. To make that work.

I wonder how much you have to pay to get

someone to make you an app.

You should do a sleep stream where people

pay to play loud sounds. I thought about

it, but I want to sleep. I don't want to

miss the night's sleep. And I thought,

what if I start jerking off in my sleep or

doing weird stuff and I get banned?

Do I finally have the Reddit people off

your back? No, they're still making posts

all the time. It's mostly just stuff like,

haha, Daniel only got 5K views. Haha,

lowest views he's had since 5 years ago.

It's a bit boring.

They're probably jerking off at how low my

views are now.

Did I watch the chess boxing event? No, I

don't understand what it is. Do they play

chess and then box?

Do they play chess and then if one of them

loses a piece, do they get into the boxing

ring?

Do I sleep in underwear?

Depends. If we just had sex, I'd just

sleep naked, but I usually put my

underwear back on Otherwise I get too

horny. I don't want to wake her up in the

middle of the night. So usually just

underwear.

Who did Chris fight? I heard Chris won his

boxing match. I wonder if Chris could beat

that Brandon Buckingham guy. I thought

they dressed up as chess pieces. Yeah,

that would be funny.

Reminds me of this chess hentai game I saw

on Steam. So you have chess pieces and

they're basically women and men and it's

like BDSM. So when you, when you take

another person's piece, they would like

fuck the piece, like bend them over and

fuck them, and that would count as you

taking their piece. And it was like a

chessboard of naked women and men. Some of

them have whips and some of them have like

bondage stuff. I forgot the name of the

game. It looked interesting.

They should have like a real version of

that where it's like— it could be like

one of those weird Japanese game shows.

They have a big human-sized chessboard.

How many pieces on each side? Is it

12 or 20? I forgot now.

I think it's 16 pieces on each side. You

got 2 castles, 2 rooks, 2 horses,

2, 6, 2 bishops, 8, 9, queen, king.

So 10 pieces, 20, and 10 pawns. So you

have 20 pieces on each side. You would

have one side be 20 naked Japanese girls,

and then the other side you'd have 20

naked Japanese guys. And then they'd be

dressed, they'd have like a little hat

maybe. So the queen would have a queen's

hat. The king would have a king's hat,

even though she's a woman.

And then you have the pawns and then

they'd move ahead once. And then if the

pawn gets eaten, then she gets bent over

and banged and then she has to leave the

board. But then if the girl takes the

guy's piece, I guess maybe she'll ride him

or something. I don't know.

The girl side should be to avoid getting

banged, and then the guy side should be to

try to bang the girls.

Imagine a pawn banging the queen or the

king. That would be messed up. Like a

bunch of peasants going kidnapping the

king and then banging her.

Did I ever try to find Mila? Yeah, I went

on Google Maps. Because if you go into

Google Maps and you go into Strevelswijk

Street in Rotterdam, there's actually

updated Google Images from 2020,

November, when me and Mila were there.

And you can see my apartment and you can

see where I put the chair up against the

window and I put the curtain across. And

if you go to 2004 Google Maps, you can

actually see her grandmother sitting

outside on the bench. It's funny.

I went through every Google Maps Street

Image version from previous years. I

didn't find Mila, but I saw her

grandmother and I saw her dad's motorbike.

Her grandmother's been living in that same

house for decades. Go back to like 2008,

15 years ago. Her grandmother looks the

same. She's reading a book on the bench.

I sat on that bench as well. Her house

looks exactly the same from 2008.

How is

it there's more likes than people

watching? Because people watch a bit,

they click like, they get bored, then they

click off, and then someone else comes.

It's not the same 120 people watching the

entire streams. It's people coming on and

then going off and then new people coming

back. How many

dislikes do I have?

Uh, it's kind of annoying YouTube stopped

showing the dislikes. I have to go into my

YouTube analytics to see it.

Let me see.

It doesn't show me the dislikes.

It just says date, visibility,

monetization restrictions, live viewers,

likes. It doesn't even show me the

dislikes. That's so silly.

You should hang out with Cheap Charlie. I

don't think I can hang out with anyone.

Someone messaged me on Instagram saying

he's in Sukhumvit, asked if we could meet

up. Even if I wanted to,

I couldn't because we would have to meet

in the afternoon and then get dinner.

Unless we meet in the middle of the day.

And I can't really explain to my

girlfriend why I'd be going out in the

evening to meet some guy in Bangkok.

She'd start asking me, how did you meet

him? How do you know him? Who is he?

It would be very out of character.

How does my girlfriend have so many days

off without getting fired? I think she has

15 days a year that she can take off.

She's going to have to take off about 4 or

5 for the Vietnam trip. She took

off a couple 2 weeks ago and then a couple

last week.

Why does she care? She probably won't

care. She'll probably be like, sure, go

and have fun. Have a nice time. But the

point is, I want to avoid raising

suspicion. And if you start doing things

out of character, she's going to start

thinking, that was a bit weird. Daniel

never has friends before.

And then maybe she'll get jealous. She'll

say, how come you go into this place with

that person? When you could have gone with

The riskiest thing I did with her was I

bought a GoPro— a GoPro— a GoPro tripod

selfie stick in front of her. I don't know

why I did that. That was kind of silly

because I wanted to do IRL. I needed a

better selfie stick, and the GoPro selfie

stick is a really good one. And I just saw

it by coincidence when we were walking

around in the camera shop and I really

wanted to buy it. So I bought it and

I joked around about, yeah, maybe I want

to be a YouTuber, but I never used it in

front of her and she never asked me, what

are you going to do with it? I never see